What You Should be doing
IN TODAYS EPISODE:
- What you should be doing
- A right and wrong way to do things
- The problem with perfection
Welcome back – what is going on in your world?
I really would love to hear – so be sure to follow me on Instagram or Facebook so we can be In touch –
Michelle Bourque Coaching.
Ok – I actually posted something yesterday I wanted to share with you because it’s an example of what I’m talking about today.
Yesterday I had my day scheduled – I was really looking forward to catching up on a number of things – I think I even mentioned it here – how I was looking forward to it last week
Well – I was called into work unexpectedly. And my brain immediately went to this was NOT on my schedule.
I was so frustrated.
This is where my brain used to go all the time – thinking this is not what was supposed to happen.
But here’s the thing – it was happening.
There was no upside to me telling myself it shouldn’t be.
So I begrudgingly got in the car and thought I should at least listen to some podcasts for the long drive and be productive.
I mean – that’s what I do right?
But in that instant I realized I was doing it because I thought I “should”.
And I still felt annoyed about the entire thing.
So in that moment I decided to ask myself – how can I make this fun?
Now my brain has a different thought process right?
And I came up with – let’s enjoy the ride – windows down, sunshine in, music up –
I was actually belting out the tunes with the likes of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga and Margot Lexie and Allison Krauss…
I mean – it’s not like I’ll be on The Voice any time soon, but it felt so much better than how I started.
People will ask – how do I find balance?
I want to fill you in on a secret…
Say what? Lol
It’s the Truth – you don’t “find” balance – like you are playing a game of hide and seek.
You choose it.
So what does that look like?
Well to begin – I think the idea of balance – as if it’s always 50/50 and you feel in perfect equilibrium – is such a farce.
We are looking for progression here my friends.
Little steps to get you big results.
But what I think happens more often – especially with the ladies I work with – is there is this idea that things need to be perfect.
You think there is a right and a wrong way.
This way of thinking is what causes so many dreams to fail.
Think about this for yourself.
Where in your life have you not done something because you just didn’t know how to do it right?
So instead you did nothing.
Or – how many times have you done something because you thought you should?
Listen to me – this has been one of my biggest lessons.
It has been served up to me over and over and if you’re anything like me – and I do believe you are if you are listening – I want to help you.
It has taken me some time to get it.
Look at why you think you should do it.
Is it because you think someone else will approve?
Or do you think it’s because they know better?
This is what I want to open your thinking to.
What if it was your job to approve of you?
What is you are the only one that really knows how to do it best for you?
Ohhhhhj…. this is a big one my friend.
It’s so much easier to just look for the external reinforcements right?
And listen – I think I actually makes sense.
For the most part we have all been brought up to think other people cause our feelings right?
Like even with my example today – my brain wanted to blame the job for me feeling frustrated.
But it wasn’t the job.
It was me thinking it shouldn’t have happened.
Here’s the thing – when we think our feelings are left up to others we lose all of our power.
All of our thoughts are optional.
I really want you to see this – it gives you all the power.
So I had the option to continue thinking the add on shouldn’t have happened and felt frustrated all day.
But what is the upside of that?
And it doesn’t change anything.
Instead I enjoyed the ride – and you know what else I did –
I stopped at this beautiful resort on the way home to set up a future date with with hubs – much better result for the day
And the only thing that changed was my thought.
I hope that makes sense.
Seriously – if you are not sire about this or want more help hit me up on the socials.
Now – I want to circle back on the idea of thinking you “should” be doing something. Or – the does there is a right and wrong way to do something.
This way of thinking adds so much pressure – and usually stress – to what you are doing.
AND – it often leads to procrastination because you spin in thinking about how you will do it right – or for most of you lovelies – how do you do it perfectly.
And when perfectionists aren’t sure how to do it perfectly you sit in on action.
But what if you were willing to do it and it not be perfect?
I know – I thought the same thing when I heard of this concept.
But I want you to know –
being willing to fail –
being willing to do B+ work instead of A+
will give you so much freedom.
You will learn way more from doing something and it not be perfect –
than you will if you don’t do anything at all because you are afraid it won’t be perfect.
You see what I’m saying?
Consider it learning – not failing.
So think about it this week.
I have two things I want to encourage you to work on –
1. What do YOU want to do?
Because YOU want to – not because you think you should do it…
2. How can you find ways to approve of yourself. It really is a solo job my friend. Once you approve of yourself the rest falls into place.
That is where I’m finding the magic this week ya all.
Ok – that’s what I have for you today.
Lets circle back next week – but for now – make it a great day – take care!