What if… It’s Ok?

We’ve been inside a lot – and that’s ok. Because, I want to just do what needs to be done in order to let the experts figure this out. You know what friends – we are all going to figure this out. That’s what I want to talk to you about today – actually a few different concepts to help as we continue to navigate through what is likely changing times. Notice – I didn’t say – get back to normal – and that’s ok. The concepts I discuss today are ones you can use everyday in your life – especially through challenging times. 

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

IN THIS EPISODE: 

* Dealing with Anxiety

* Considering – It’s ok

* Asking – What if?

* Being part of a tribe

* Getting on email list: www.michellebourquecoaching.com/podcast76

* Work with me – www.michellebourquecoaching.com/workwithme

* Questions for me: email – contact@michellebourquecoaching.com 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello hello hello

How are you all doing today?

I apologize from the start

I am sounding a bit off the usual 

I’m pretty sure it’s just allergies 

I’m on – 

I think day 5 

of staying in as I record this

I actually had some cases last week – 

And I’m kinda surprised 

but I have some still on the schedule 

For this week 

and next

So we shall see 

I have to tell you 

I am used to being out 

like all day

lol.. and Marc and the dog are used to having me out

Like all day long..lol.

I think like many of you 

I’m  used to driving around 

 and seeing people

Its kinda odd to be inside  so much

And this past weekend we had virtual training 

Sat and Sunday for work 

So at the computer just about all day 

Both days 

I might be getting a little stir crazy

You know what I did this morning?

I did the Tour De Peloton

You know what that is?

It’s taking a ride with every instructor 

No breaks 

No clipping out 

It was like 3 hours..lol..

But the fact is 

We’ve been inside 

And that’s ok

Because I want to just do what needs to be done 

In order to let the experts 

Figure it out

And you know what friends 

We are all going to figure this out

And that’s what I want to talk to you about today

A few different concepts to help 

As we continue to navigate through

What is likely 

Changing times

Notice 

I didn’t say and get back to normal

And that’s ok

I just did a short video on that phrase

Hey – 

If you guys want more free content 

Be sure to follow me on

Instagram or Facebook

Michellebourquecoaching

I’m also on linked in

Michelle Bourque 

I am here for you 

And I want to keep providing you 

With content that will help your mental health 

Because Lord knows

We can use it 

Plus –  I said this in last weeks podcast

And I really mean it

There is so much going on in the news

And remember the news likes to have us tune in and watch

And our brain loves to get startled – 

Always looking out for danger 

So the combo is perfect

I want to provide you with 

Equal opportuntiy 

And I don’t mean on the job front

I mean

Equal opportunity 

For your brain to hear whatever frightening things you allow in

With some alternative ways of thinkings

That might just be a little more positive 

50/50 right baby?

So – 

Back to 

And It’s ok

I recently held a free group coaching call

I’ll be doing some more of these 

And if you are on my email list you will get notified

If you are not yet – head to 

michllebourquecoaching.com/podcast76

So we were chatting on this call

About how many people were feeling anxious 

And specifically for the call 

We were discussing covid19

But you can totally use this for any thought 

That causes you to feel anxious

What I see happen

Is we try to get to the happy happy place

So we notice we are feeling anxious

And then we quickly want to change the thought

I want to be positive

Or I want to feel more balanced

Or I gotta keep it together 

I don’t want you to go there just yet

I want to suggest something else

Instead of resisting that feeling 

Name it

Notice that you are feeling anxious

Say it out loud

I am feeling anxious 

And then add

And that’s ok

You guys – it really is ok to feel anxious

I’m not saying it feels great 

But you can lessen the feeling 

By dropping the judgement 

Of not thinking you should feel that way

My sister used to say 

You are so anxious 

You need to relax 

And I would be like 

I’m relaxed, I’m relaxed, I’m relaxed ..lol..

It was such a running joke 

As the veins in my forehead popped out

The other phrase I want to offer you 

Again – for this podcast we are using Covid19 

But you can use this phrase

Anytime you are questioning circumstances going on

Anytime you are thinking 

Those circumstances shouldn’t be happening 

Because we know what happens when we think that right?

When we think 

this shouldn’t be happening 

We feel terrible 

Because we are fighting against 

The reality that is

We lose that fight 

Every 

Single 

Day 

So – I feel anxious

And its ok

You guys 

Its totally normal for our brains to freak out

These are new times

And our brain doesn’t like change

Remember 

Its the motivational triad of 

Avoiding pain

Seeking pleasure

And being as efficient as possible

So its normal to feel anxious at times

But I want to make sure you know 

It’s not because of covid19

Or whatever the circumstance is you are in 

It’s because of the thoughts about covid19

Thoughts like

The stock market is going to crash 

and I’m going to lose all of my money

Thoughts like

We are all going to die 

That’s what causes us to feel anxious

And that’s ok

Can you see how stepping away from it 

Allows you to see it?

Because when you keep it in your head

It just plays over and over and over 

And we feel like we are going crazy

Well ..lol.. 

Let’s face it 

Arent we all just a little crazy..lol..

And you know what 

And that’s ok

Now – the other phrase I want to offer you is 

What if 

I had a friend recently text me 

That she was starting the week off

By trying to think of this as a new start 

Rather than an ending 

I don’t know – what if

Its both?

I was talking to a family member recently 

Who was telling me how she 

Can’t wait for everything to go back to normal 

What if 

It doesn’t 

And 

That’s ok

What if – 

This is an opportunity for us to really consider what is important to us

What if 

this is a once in a lifetime opportunity 

for you to make some changes 

That change the trajectory of your life

I remember years ago a song quote I had on my fridge 

And when I say years ago 

I mean – 

Like when I was young and getting home at like 3am

Now I get up at 3am..lol..

But the quote was 

Every new beginning 

Comes from some other beginnings end

So like my girlfriend said in her text 

It totally can be a new beginning 

And it can be ok 

to be an end 

Ending doesn’t always have to mean negative 

Ending can also mean 

That time 

Has served its purpose 

It is complete

I like to think about that in relationships too you guys

Like when you have a friendship or maybe romantic relationship end

You can also choose to think 

It is complete 

I’m not going down the rabbit hole of relationships here

But I do want to touch on the importance 

Of 

somehow staying connected 

You know 

– our brains like to be part of a tribe

And this is so different for us right

Because 

as we come together to fight the virus

We have to be apart 

And that isolation can mess with our brains

I mean think about how nervous we get 

Well –

Maybe not all of you 

But in general 

Many of us get nervous

When we have to public speak 

Because fear of what all the others will think

It’s our primitive brain

And the fear of getting kicked out of the tribe 

Like people will laugh at us 

Or think we did it wrong 

Its human nature for us to be around people

And you guys

This is not just the pandemic I’m talking about

This happens whenever you start doing something different from the crowd

So if you do have the courage to smile and laugh during these times

It might feel odd

But the truth is 

The fear and worry don’t make anything better 

We are living right now 

What if 

You decide to take each minute and make the best of it

And you know what else 

People will judge

And that’s ok

So this week I want to encourage you to 

See how many different ways you can use these two phrases 

And – I know I might sound like a broken record 

But also 

watch what you allow in your brain

Give equal opportunity to both the negative and the positive 

Give yourself some grace as you go through this

Give others grace

We don’t really know what exactly we are doing 

But we are going to figure it out you guys 

We are moving forward 

And now more than ever we need to Clean up our brains

Focus on what you can control 

Which are our thoughts 

That’s where you hold your power

When you think it’s all the external things 

You know what happens ?

We are screwed 

Because we can’t control the circumstances 

We can control how we react to them

What if 

You decided 

how you want to show up 

for yourself 

And for you loved ones 

What if you get it right some days

Maybe not so much the next 

And that’s ok.

We 

got 

this 

friends.

Let’s go – 

Ask me anything 

I want to do a future podcast with questions you send in

So just shoot me an email

contact@michellebourquecoaching.com

And I will do a future episode answering what you want most

Ok –

That’s what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay healthy and

Make it a great day 

Take care