Wasting Time with Worry
IN THIS EPISODE:
- HOW WE WASTE TIME WORRYING
- DECIDING ON PURPOSE
Hello my friends! How is everyone doing today?
I’m feeling pretty good – last week I started the first round of my new program and I have some AMAZING clients in it.
Doing the work – its so much fun for me to see them look at things differently, investing in themselves and deciding to start making the changes they want in order to get to their next level of living.
Isn’t that what we all kinda want? Like this idea of getting “unstuck” in our life.
It doesn’t just happen overnight my friends… but when it does it’s gold.
Ok – so today I want to talk to you about something that came up on a few of my calls this week – and something I think all of us waste time with.
Worry is such a dream stealer.
When I looked up the definition – you know how I love to clickety clack on the googles..lol..
Well – the definition I thought was spot on was
“give way to anxiety or unease: allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles”.
You know why I liked that one the best?
“Allow ones mind…”
Because that shows us we are in control of it – we get to choose if we want to continue to allow it.
Here’s the thing – we think worrying is necessary right?
Like – we almost think it is a sign maybe that we really care.
It pretends to be so necessary – but truly it is not.
On one of my calls this week we were discussing the future.
What was so fascinating her brain was presenting her with two scenarios – and BOTH were causing her worry.
First off – we have no idea of what the future holds.
And remember you guys – our brain loves to search for the negative. That is how it is designed.
Our primitive brains job is to protect us so of course it will look for any bad that could possibly happen, tell us to avoid it, stay in the cave and be safe.
But this idea of staying safe – well that’s what keeps us stuck in our current life.
So we need to start deciding on purpose what we want to think.
That might sound a little cra cra to you but did you know – you truly can decide what you want to think.
We go though life in this default mode and we think it is just happening to us – but that is not the case.
We have to choose how we want to think – about anything my friend.
I love a quote by Steven Chandler – he’s the author of Time Warrior – acutally – he has many great books but the quote I loved for this is – “worry is not a true thought. Worry is a misuse of the imagination”.
Here’s the thing – since as humans we have free will to think what we want – we can actually imagine a future that is better than our past.
Like- we don’t have to base our future on what we have done in the past – we can actually think about a future with entirely new thoughts and possibility.
But what happens?
Our brain tells us it’s not possible.
Our brain tells us all of the things that could go wrong.
Our brain will bring up all the doubts and fears and worry.
It’s totally fine – that’s what it is supposed to do – but don’t use that as a reason to stop dreaming.
Everybody listen up – Instead of indulging your time in all the worry I want to encourage you to refocus that energy on what you want to create.
Because this idea of worry keeps us inmobilized right?
Think of the last time you were worried about something.
What did you do?
When I catch myself worrying I usually sit in inaction – because I just keep thinking about all of the terrible things that could go wrong.
Not productive my friends.
So instead – let’s focus on what we can control, what we can create.
I remember an old boss used to say – let’s control the controllables… we kinda thought he was a little nutty but looking back – I think he was onto something.
I mean, maybe he was still a little nutty but that’s neither here nor there at this point..lol..
But really – think about how much time and energy you waste worrying.
And honestly – I usually find what I worry about never even happens – crazy right?
Or even – think about what you complained about last, that you had no control over – maybe it was something somebody did or said.
An easy example is a colleague at work. Perhaps they said or did something you didn’t agree with – but you also had no control over.
And then you call your other colleague to complain about him.
Now, not only are you wasting your time and energy – you are wasting the other colleagues time and energy.
And how often do you think they should be different?
Lol. Omg – we all waste time thinking about how others should be different.
If only we could change them.
Listen up friends – if I could teach you how to change others – weil I would be a freaking millionaire.
That doesn’t work.
Trust me – I’ve tried – and my guess is you have too.
Instead – now I’m focusing on me and what I can change and control over here in this lane.
And think about this –
What do we tend to do when we are all caught up in worrying, or blaming and stressing about something out of our control?
We tend to want to buffer right?
By buffer I mean escape the negative emotions.
It’s a way we take ourselves out of the present moment – to escape from time… and we actually lose time when we do.
For some of you it might be heading for a glass of wine to relax, or grab a warm chocolate chip cookie to take the edge off – or jump on Facebook – whatever your escape is.
And ultimately what do these actions do?
Waste your time! Lol.. Crazy right?
And not only does it waste your time –
like the time you actually spend in that action –
but a lot of what I coach on is all of the negative self talk that follows spending our time buffering.
I mean seriously – if you could just start with dropping the negative self talk you would even be ahead of the game.
The bottom line for me is deciding what I can control.
I want to encourage you to do the same – decide if you want to keep wasting your time worrying, or trying to change things out of your control.
My grammy Arnold used to have this cool plaque – with the quote – God grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
It’s so good right?
When we can understand what is happening and be realistic in what our expectations are we can add so much more peace – and time – to our lives.
And that’s what we want right?
– more time to do the things we want to do.
Listen – doing things we want to do is so much more fun – let’s just give it a whirl and see how it goes.
You can always go back to worrying if you want – but I promise you – doing this work will change your life.
Ok – that is what I have for you today.
I am so excited you are here and I can’t wait to circle back next week.
But for now – make it a great day – take care!