Responsibility For Your Life
Last week we discussed setting our goals and ways to keep them. This week I want to talk to you about the responsibility you hold in creating those goals. It can be very easy to look at a difficult situation and think about how other people are to blame. But I want to show you why it can be helpful for you to take responsibility for a situation, and how to do it.
Topics in this episode
- When you’re frustrated and complaining, what are you not doing? Your job.
- Find new solutions
- When you take responsibility, you hold the power
- Emotional adulthood
- Self-blame becomes self-shame
- Taking action
For additional free content, follow me:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michellebourquecoaching/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/michellebourquecoaching/
If you’re ready to take this work to a deeper level, let’s chat. I have some openings for my one-on-one coaching program, and I would love to see how I could help. To set up a time to chat, go to https://michellebourquecoaching.com/work-with-me/
Hello hello hello-
What’s going on?
You guys having a good start to the New Year?
It was kinda a couple odd weeks with schedules and all with the holidays I’m the middle of week
I’m happy to be getting back to the routine How about you?
I think most people are – i kept seeing people posting on social media they didn’t know what day it was lol
By the way – are you with me on the socials? What are you waiting for?
I share more of my crazy life and additional free content Michellebourquecoaching on IG and FB
It’s fun over there
And we are about having some fun this year
I am really working on having fun as I work on my goals
So last week we discussed setting and ways to keep our goals
This week I want to talk to you about the responsibility you hold in creating those goals
I want to fill you in on something –
you know how I like to use everyday examples of this work to help you see the importance of it
And I just mentioned –
I’m all about having fun
But it’s not always fun right?
I was just talking to some co workers about some changes at work cover day the past year
I was joking about how I think they – like the powers that be are someplace saying
She keeps talking about all this mind management – Let’s see what she has
Double her territory Still going?
Ok – take away some resources Still going?
Let’s add some more roles Hahahaha
And I laugh b/c I’m telling you
If this was a few years ago I would be like Are you kidding me
But this time around –
I’m still holding on to my goals to have the best income year ever Some people might also say I’m delusional
Some people might complain about all of it But here’s the truth
That does nothing Except make me – and my co workers miserable
And think about it – when you are frustrated and complaining what are you not doing?
And you are wasting time that could be so much more productive And listen –
I’m in sales –
I make money by working So instead –
I focus on how I’m going to have my best income year – Ever
No matter what is going on around me asking myself how I can figure out new ways Taking time to think about and try new things
Because you know who benefits when I do that? Me
I act like – what we call – I
n the Coaching world –
an emotional adult
And I take responsibility for all of it Because then I’m the one in power When everyone else is to blame
I need them to change in order for it to get better
Listen – if I could get all of them – my them and your them .lol. to change – I would totally tell you how
But we can’t I’ve tried lol..
I’m guessing you have too Here’s the thing –
Whenever there is a villain there is always a victim So if the job is the villain
You are the Victim
And you know what happens then? Not much –
because when you are the victim you don’t take action Make sense?
Really – it’s so important to see where you hold the power This goes for all aspects of your life you guys
Think about the family member that you think gets you so frustrated
Or the partner that sometimes makes you angry Let me just take a pause to remind you –
Our feelings come from OUR thoughts
So these people are not the ones to blame Which is great news friends
They are not that powerful
We often try to delegate our feelings to others But when we take responsibility
We have the ability to respond Right?
And from there we are so much more empowered When I mentioned emotional adults that is part of it Taking responsibly for our feelings
Take a minute
To Think about the opposite When we blame others
So not taking responsibility
We almost throw tantrums right? Like – you need to stop doing that! Emotional childhood my friends
And the way you know you are blaming is It feels negative
It Gets us no where
And you get to decide in every single situation How you want to react
How you want to feel
Let me give you an example of how it’s not the other person My husband and I were recently out
and he started talking about somebody who was so annoying And I’m like – huh?
I didn’t even notice
And even once he pointed it out I was still like huh?
So it’s not the person that was annoying
Because we were both there and we were not both annoyed
It was his thoughts about what they were doing that was annoying Can you see that?
And lets wrap it up with the ever so fun Self blame
This is a big one I think
because a lot of times self blame turns to Self shame
And that’s a fun place to be right? Not
So – lets see what we can do to reduce it
Think about when you maybe overeat – or over drink And the next day its all the thoughts like
Seriously – why can’t you figure this out I can’t believe you did it again
You can never control yourself All blame
Its a small shift but its an important one Its recognizing that I chose to eat that
And I can even say to myself something like I feel disappointed
I am thinking
I didn’t honor the commitment I made to myself
I’m owning it
And when I can see it’s a thought in my head It’s not the chips or the cookies or the wine that are making me feel this way
It’s what I am thinking
Then I can choose to change the thoughts I can just own – ok – I made a mistake Listen ya all –
We are human
Not everything is perfect And that is perfectly fine
Now – I want to share a question to ask yourself in every situation How am I responsible for this?
You didn’t make your number? How are your responsible for that? You got in a fight with your partner? How am I responsible for this?
I’m telling you
When you find those answers
You are so much more empowered to make the changes you want And think about it – let’s say you are working on your goals for the year
And a challenge comes up – Or a setback
Instead of blaming and giving up on it You ask yourself
How am I responsible for this? And take action from there
I promise you –
it will get you so much closer to your goal And becoming the person you want in 2020
And if you are ready to take this work to a deeper level – lets chat
I have some openings for my 1:1 coaching and would love to see how I can help
Go to michellebourxquecoahcing.com and click on the work with me page to set up a time
Ok – that’s what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week
But for now – make it a great day – take care!