Reflections & Lessons Learned 2019

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I want to share with you some of the lessons I learned in 2019. I am doing this work along with you every single day, and I want to look back and reflect on what I learned so that I can continue to guide you. You get to take what you want from this year and you get to leave what you don’t want, in the past. You do not have to bring it to you. Leave what is not useful. Take what fuels you to make 2020 the best year yet.

Topics in this episode

  • My vision board
  • Believe new things
  • We have the perfect amount of time.
    • Start by recognizing that you are choosing to go to your job every day.
  • Self-reflection prompts:
    • What worked?
    • What didn’t work?
    • What will I do next time?
  • When we’re people-pleasing, we are not living our unique life.
  • You have to slow down in order to speed up
  • Your feelings drive your actions

It’s important to invest in yourself and the life you want. If you are ready, this is the work I do with my clients. We’ll start by hopping on a quick call to make sure we’re on the same page, talk about where you’re at, and where you want to go and how I can get you there. If you’re ready, go to


Hello hello hello – What is up my friends?
I’m recording this for you before Christmas – but by the time you hear it it will be right after How did it all go?
I hope it was amazing I’m sure you got it all in
And now you can ahhhh… take a breath I mean it
Take a moment and recognize all you did And give yourself some credit
And I also want to take a moment to say thank you For being here
I so appreciate you tuning in each week

It’s so much fun for me to think about ways I can help and I truly appreciate you taking the time to be here So lets dive in
Now I told you – I’m recording this before Christmas But you know what
I can tell you right now – my holiday was great too Because I decide ahead of time it will be

You can decide ahead of time it will be great And guess what
Your brain will find all of the ways it’s great

I’m going to do an entire podcast on this topic next year Decisions ahead of time
Soooo important for many aspects of our life and it deserves its own day

Today I want to do what you might expect for the last podcast of the year A little lookey look back at the year
I want to reflect a little

And share some lessons learned Because that’s what this is about right? I’m doing this work with you
Every single day

I might be a lot of steps ahead Or I might only be one or two But my goal is
To continue to help guide you Because we are going places friends
OK – so I have a vision board in front of me every day I set it where I get ready in the morning so I look at it
And as I say down for this I wanted to see what jumped out to me So I’m taking the top 4 things
There were more than that but I’m going with 4 – love that number –
and I want to share

with you how they showed up over the past year Well right in the center it says believe
I have been working on believing new things
It’s something I will work on until the day I die I want to change in order to help you change
I want to see the ripple effect of what we do here Because here is the thing

I want to continue to evolve

I want to continue to improve my mental health

I want to be an example – especially to my nieces – Of what is possible
And If anything really is possible we have to believe in new things Otherwise – we stay the same
Our beliefs are truly what create our lives Sometimes it can be so hard to release old beliefs I’ve shared with you guys before
But some of the beliefs I’ve really worked on have been around time In fact – my vision board also has “find more time” on it
I used to believe I had not time And my job took all my time
So – I want to give you a gift here I know – its’ after the I insist
If you are telling yourself you have no time Stop it
You are lying to yourself You have 24 hours Every
Single Day
It is literally a lie you are telling yourself And it feels terrible
I know – I used to think it And you know what

Your job doesn’t take your time Just listen to how you say it
lol.. sounds like a robber coming in and stealing it from you You give your job your time
This will be a podcast on its own in the future too We really want to examine why you are doing that So I now believe I have the perfect amount of time And listen – if you are just starting this journey
I totally can see you in your car with your head tilted and your eyes rolling up Like I’m off my rocker
Because I did that when my coach suggested I had the perfect amount of time Clearly.- I thought – she didn’t know my job
But you know what – she was right And so am I
You have the perfect amount of time

You don’t have to make that jump just yet if you don’t believe it Instead, I encourage you to at least begin recognizing
you are choosing to go to your job everyday Because the fact is – not everybody does that You don’t have to
You want to

You might want to because you want the money Or you want the status
But there is some reason you have to do it Because you are
OK – so believing new things – this will be more in 2020 as well

Oh – and I also want to share a little tool with you guys as we close up the year

I love to reflect back each quarter and each year By asking myself 3 questions
1. What worked

2. What didn’t work

3. And what will I do next time –

So question 3 can be what you will continue to do – or what you will differently
And be sure to ask in that order

You have to ensure your brain finds the positive

Because we know our brain is always scanning for the negative You must do the work to find what worked
Ok –

The next one that stands out and a lesson I continue to learn It says Do you
This has been a lesson presented to me over and over and over I’m still working on it
Because I have been a people pleaser all of my life And you guys – when we are people pleasing
we are NOT living our unique life

Let me tell you what this has looked like for me over the past year When I started coaching my niche was
post weight loss surgery women who wanted to drink less Full transparency – I thought I could help these women But I really had no idea what their day to day lives were
I knew one of my patients who struggled with this and I thought it made perfect sense And I thought
No one will ever know I was the one that worked on drinking less

Because I didn’t have the surgery

I also thought this would be a good group of women to help Because my master coach instructor said it would be
And I remember in my training when she offered some – well in my mind It was Approval
And so I went for it

And after months – actually almost a year I think I realized
Well – lets be honest

Not that I just woke up and realized I got coached
I self coached

I cleaned up all my thoughts about what others would think if I changed my business

And then I moved forward with more of what is me What I do here now
More around time and work/life balance You know what is interesting –
I still sometimes help women who want to cut back on drinking I get it – sometimes you want the extra wine
because you feel so overwhelmed and anxious and like you have no time And you have to be everything to everyone – again –
back to the people pleasing

But it doesn’t have to be that way

I help my clients with this all the time People pleasing is such an epidemic Here’s the thing
We are all on this Earth with our own

unique hot mess

And our own unique beauty Show up as yourself
We will all benefit

Ok – next one that jumps out More energy
This may be a little different than you expect Or maybe I should say
This lesson is not how I expected it to go when I put More energy on the board
Like In my mind that was active More going and loving it
When in fact

This has been my most relaxed year Ever
I have slowed down so much And you know what
I have gotten more done

And feel more energized than ever

I started incorporating more white space time This is time where you think
Oh trust me

I’m still working on this Seems like lots lessons this year And still lots to work on
But with this one I’ve realized

You have to slow down In order to speed up
I was just talking to a client who was telling me How she was trying to get everything done
I had another client recently tell me she had a million things to do And they both felt hectic
And overwhelmed

And you know what happens when we are overwhelmed? Not much
Because we don’t know where to start We feel terrible
We often sit in inaction It doesn’t work that way
When we take time to slow down We get so much more accomplished You know why?
Because the feeling is different Which drives different actions Which gives you different results
And that brings me to the last part of this I also have the mindful nut on my board
I can be pretty nutty,.lol..

But really this idea of being mindful Especially around feelings
Which was no where on my board Because who has time for feelings right?
This has been such a huge shift for me this year

Being mindful in recognizing What my feelings are
I think a lot of times I am in the action line of the model Where I’m guessing many of you are
But it’s the feelings that drive the actions So it is super important that we stop Notice what the feelings are
It can be so hard

We are not taught to feel our feelings Just keep going
But you guys

You can only keep going to a point And then either you burn out
Or maybe feel stuck in a life you are not quite sure you want to keep living This is the work I do myself
It’s the work I do with clients

Its so important to invest in yourself And live your life the way you want to Because I promise you –
When you start doing that Everything else around you improves And remember – if you are ready
This is the work I love to do with clients We start by just getting on a quick call
I like to make sure we are on the same page We talk about where you are
Where you want to be

And how we can get you there

If you are ready lets get this going

Go to with me and lets set a time to chat

And I want to leave you with one last thing As you reflect back I want to remind you You get to take what you want from this year You get to leave what you want
It’s in the past

You don’t have to bring it with you Leave what is not useful
Take what fuels you

Let’s make 2020 the best year yet Ok – that’s what I have for you today Lets’ circle back next week
Oh wait – I just had a visual of myself back in elementary school I’ll see you next year…lol..
In either case – make it a great day – Take care!

Showing 2 comments
  • Pat Gill

    I hope this is your best year to come. And I hope it is my better year. Although 2019 wasn’t so bad.
    I wish you happiness, love and strength.
    Thanks for your time.

    • Michelle A. Bourque

      Thank you for taking the time to listen!

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