Focus: Past vs Future Focus, Laser Focus and Keep Going
IN THIS EPISODE:
- REVIEW VS FRONT MIRROR LIVING
- STAYING IN YOUR OWN LANE – FOCUS
- BEING THE DRIVER OF YOUR LIFE
Hello hello hello friends!
What’s is up?
I have been thinking about you. I’m straight from vacation – oh – my happy place indeed is Nantucket.
But before I left I was on a drive from NY to Boston for work and I hand some ideas to share with you as I was driving.
I love to listen to podcasts as I drive and sometimes I get a little inspiration – and at one point that song – Life is A Highway popped into my mind so I thought – perfect – let’s chat about that.
But as I was thinking more about this episode I caught myself singing in my head – lucky for you I will spare you – but I am curious – what do you t think is the song of your life – Life is a Highway – Country Roads – or Highway to Hell?
What are some of your favorite road songs?
Ok – let’s Buckle up… lol – here we go.
Super side note – when I was looking at the lyrics “I wanna drive it all night long”.. I wondered – when you go on a road trip who drives? You – or the significant other?
For me – it’s me – for sure.
I think – no I know – it’s a fact in my brain .. lol – I am a much better driver.
But it might be a thought if I’m being honest and not trying to confuse anyone.. lol – literally – we don’t even make it down our little village road and my husband has something to say – so since not everyone agrees I am the best driver – well – I cant use it as a fact.. lol
Ok – so as I’m driving I am always taking a peak in my rear view mirror – I will guess you do to.
But could you imagine trying to get from NY to Boston only looking in your rear view mirror?
Sounds silly right?
We want to focus ahead – focus on the destination.
So maybe you just take a quick look every now and then but it’s not the focus.
I mean – think about it –
Your rear view mirror is just a little thing in comparison to your large front window which opens up to show you all that’s ahead.
What if you thought about your life like that?
So many times we go to the past to tell our stories.
We think whatever happened back then determines our future.
But that’s not the case.
The past is over – would you ever want to go back to sit at the red light 5 blocks behind you again?
You want to keep moving.
So you been there and did that.
And you know what?
Just because you took a wrong turn doesn’t mean you can’t end up where you want to go.
I see this a lot with the clients I work with.
Going back and recalling and re-living things from the past.
It usually brings up feelings that don’t help them move forward.
Each time you go back and re-tell the story your brain thinks it’s happening again and it usually feels terrible.
So I want to encourage you – start to notice – how much of your life are you living in the rear view mirror?
How much of your life are you living Future focused –
looking ahead in the front view mirror?
The beauty is – you get to decide where to focus your attention.
Your past is over – you do not get to your new destination with those directions.
I know it’s a cliché – but it’s so true – what got you here won’t get you there.Now the other thing that had me thinking along the ride was the idea of needing to stay in your own lane.Today might almost feel like this is a driving lesson right? Lol
Hahaha – omg – I have to laugh at the idea of me giving a driving lesson –
I think my dad rode with me one time – after my permit test – and he told me to slow down because the sign said 45 not 55 –
I let him know – because after all – I did just past the test – that was only a suggested speak since it was in yellow – he replied – I SUGGEST you slow down..
Interestingly … that was the last time I was ever his driver – lol –
and my uncle Fuzzy used to say he would only drive with me if I offered him a blindfold .. loll
I digress –
Trust me – I’m much better at driving and teaching now
Ok – so back to staying in your own lane.
Live your life my friend.
So often we get all caught up in the drama –
Maybe you think a family member should be raising their kid a certain way –
Or a friend should not be dating that guy
Or your boss should be doing it differently
But you know what I see happen – we place so much energy on thinking about what other people should be doing differently that we don’t take care of what we want to do in our lives.
Like – really – what do you want to do?
So many people I speak with talk about wanting something more – but they haven’t taken time to think about what that is for them.
Imagine if you gave up the needing to make others different and worked instead focused on what is in your lane – your world – and started making a difference there.
Trust me – I get that all of the care for others is from a place of love – but when you stop to think about it – how much do they really change?
It’s hard enough for us to change ourselves!
In order to gain any new results in your life you need to begin focusing – first and foremost on what the goal is you want to achieve.
And be laser focused on this.
It’s nice to say I want to be healthier for example – but what does that mean for you?
Without a true sense of a specific goal your brain will hang out in confusion – not sure “how” to do it.
But when you can say – I’m going to be 10 lbs lighter by this day and have a reason why – well that is much different than getting healthier.
And – you know what else – our brain is tricky – so in the moment of choosing the ice cream of being healthier – your brain will tell you – you can be healthier tomorrow.
But with a specific goal, focus, and deadline you are much more likely to achieve what you want.
And what I will end with today is the need to keep going.
So often we have the goal and it gets hard right?
We want to give up at times.
Or – maybe we think it was going to happen one way and that didn’t work so now you think it’s all wrong and you should not have even attempted this new goal.
But let’s think about this – again – keeping with the highway theme..
Let’s say you are driving to an amazing vacation.
And then you hit traffic.
It’s a nightmare.
Do you decide to just turn off the car and not go any further?
Or – lets say there is an accident and you need to take a detour.
Would you just turn around and head home because it wasn’t the way you thought?
Maybe you hit every single red light along the way.
You don’t just say never mind – no vacation this year – it’s taking too long.
You keep going.
Because you know you have an amazing vacation at the end.
Think of your goals like this.
If it is something you truly want, you don’t just quit when it gets hard.
Honestly – quitting is really the only way you fail right?
Because otherwise you learn and keep going.
And when you get to your vacation – or get to your goal – you are going to feel soooo good.
You just keep going.
Sometimes we sell ourselves short of what our potential is – I don’t want you to do that.
You are the driver of your best life my friend.
So often we look to external sources for approval, or direction, or even blame at times – but you truly are the one doing the steering.
You might as well make it a fun ride.
OK – that’s what I have for you today!
Let’s circle back next week – but for now – make it a great day – take care!