Failing Your Way To Success
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Ok – so we talked a lot about goals recently – setting them, forming new habits, And having a compelling reason. As we close out the month I want to talk to you about failing – my failing.
Sounds like fun right?
IN THIS EPISODE
- Fear of failing
- What failing means – epic fails vs failing in advance
- Strategic byproducts
- How to learn from your fail
- Willingness to fail
- Link to download: https://mailchi.mp/michellebourquecoaching.com/episode66
TRANSCRIPT
Hello hello hello-
How are you guys today?
I’m so excited you are back – And if it’s your first time – welcome
I’m happy you found this – And I hope you stick around Ok – so we talked a lot about goals recently – setting them, forming new habits, having a compelling reason
And as we close out the month
I want to talk to you about failing
My failing
Sounds like fun right? Lol I think this is perfect timing because I want you to think about what I am teaching you today And look at your goals and see how my fail may help you learn something along the way of getting
To your goal So let’s dive in we are taught to never fail Think about it
You must get As
Fs are bad
Or – It’s all or nothing
But you guys
That’s so limiting
Think about this
Imagine a toddler
Learning to walk
And she falls down
How do you think she actually learns to walk?
By failing at it a lot
She falls
She has to get up
And falls down again
And gets up And falls down again Get the picture?
Imagine if she was like
Well – I failed the first time
Don’t want to try that again
No – she keeps failing until she walks I have to say coaching has really changed the way I look at failing in the best way ever
And this is the gold I want to share with you here
So – if you’ve been with me you know
– since I started coaching
I’ve had some really good years in my corporate job in sales
Coaching totally changed the way I look at my work
But
We just finished a quarter and I did not hit my goal
Which is not really a fun place to be
But it can be an amazing opportunity for me to learn
Consider this crazy idea –
What if
You don’t have to hit every goal you set
I mean My corporate job is sales
- I must hit my goal right?
But I want to share a new idea with you When we think we have to hit ALL of our goals we limit ourselves to picking goals we only pick the ones we feel confident we will hit
Which – let’s me honest – might be safe But not likely going to change your life the same way massive goals would Like blow your own mind goals
Think about this – in December I set an impossible goal So for me it’s a crazy amount of revenue for the year And each quarter I plan 25 fails – epic fails
- not –
as another coach in my community says –
not half ass fails – lol
Here’s the difference Massive – or epic fails are attempts you make at something
And you don’t get the exact result you wanted
But you learn from it
Dan Sullivan talks about this
As The idea of
The strategic byproducts The gems you learn among the way
that come out of this kind of fail Which bring you that much closer to your goal with an epic fail
Because you do learn from it
But a lot of times what happens is we fail in advance – What that looks like is acting confused – Not sure where to begin
So you do nothing
Or giving up
Or lowering the goal
So this is failing
Failing in advance to be exact
And there are no strategic byproducts from this type of fail
So you don’t grow
Because usually you think – you can only do it if it’s perfect
So you limit what you are willing to do
Do you know what the worse thing is that will happen with a fail?
You feel a feeling
Lol
Really – think about it
If we do something and fail
We usually feel embarrassed
Or maybe some shame
But it’s just a feeling
And if you are willing to feel it
Think about it
What would you do with your life
Let me give you an example of an epic fail in my coaching business –
Let’s say I do a webinar MasterClass And maybe I have tech issues or freeze in the intro
The presentation might be a hot mess
And I consider it a fail
But how much have I learned in the process?
I bet I’m better at tech next time –
My intro will be on point
I will have learned a lot
Vs
Telling myself I’m not really sure how to do it
And sit in inaction
And fail in advance
And learn nothing
See the difference ?
By the way -I do have a MasterClass in the works so if you are not on my email list get I’m over there
That’s where you will get all the info first And more free content www.MichellebourqueCoaching.com
Start by Downloading the free guide
Ok – so let’s go back to not hitting my goal this quarter I want to share some ideas with you on what the next step is if this happens to you
So maybe it’s not specifically a quarterly revenue goal
Maybe it’s a different work project
But the process – or method – is the same
Kinda like Racheal Ray – lol – I’m teaching you the method –
I think she still says that
And you add your specific ingredients
So in the past if I didn’t lake my number
I made it mean so much about myself
Clearly I’m terrible at this
Clearly I did it all wrong
Have you been here?
It’s like a loop you can spin in
Or
You complain about all the reasons why it was your companies fault
Or your boss didn’t help you Now think about this – when we are here
Looping – complaining – blaming
We are not finding the solution for next quarter
So the first step
I like to do is ask myself how am I’m responsible
Because you guys this is how we find a solution
So for me – On this example
I see I’m responsible in the way I’ve been thinking
Shocker lol I have operated with a way of thinking Like I did running a territory similar to my old territory
But the territory doubled this year And I need to find new thinking – which will lead to new actions – for new results
If I keep with thinking the same way I did in past years
I will get the same results
Which won’t work in the new territory
So think about this for you
Have you not hit a goal?
Where does your thinking go to?
Is it how nobody in the company helped you Or how your boss doesn’t do the right thing to get you what you need
Pay attention to all of the thinking
Because when everyone else is to blame it leaves you feeling like the Victim And as the victim you feel terrible and won’t make any changes
But
If you ask your brain to find how you are responsible Well then you have an answer to changes you might be able to make
Now –
I want to take a pause and give you another concept to consider When working on your goals I want you to ask yourself if what you are thinking is useful
So let me give you a specific example
We had some inventory issues
I feel like every sales job this happens
So I had accounts place orders
That’s my job right
But we didn’t have the inventory to fill
So they don’t invoice Now – this is where the coaching is so helpful
And this is some of the work I do with my one on one clients who feel overwhelmed and stressed because of the job
In this moment the human brain
Will most likely go to how ridiculous it is you don’t get credit
And how you did your job
It’s not fair
And on and on
Now listen –
I’m not going to tell you to think rainbows and butterflies here I will give you did your job But are all of the thoughts that follow useful to you?
Pay attention to how they all feel.
Terrible
I know – I used to think that way
But then you just spin in the stress And it takes that much longer to take action on your next goal
So instead – I just put my brain to work
How can we do things differently next quarter
What actions are we willing to take –
And what am I wiling to fail at
I especially like to ask myself
What worked
What didn’t work
And what will I do differently It’s all about learning and growing and evolving
Because the alternative is
We stay feeling stuck in a life where others are to blame
And we feel out of control of our life
And remember how I said not hitting goal is not a fun place to be
Neither is the thought of being stuck in a life you have no control over
So pay attention
What if we dropped the idea of failing as being such a horrible thing
And opened up to the idea of learning
Growing
Evolving
And really living your best life
The life you want to live.
I’m in – Are you?
Let’s do it
And remember – if you have any questions about what I talk about here
Or – if there is a topic you would love to hear more about
Just send me a message
Contact@michellebourquecoaching.com
I also developed a worksheet you can download with the questions I ask in this process
I’ll have the link in the show notes
Ok – that’s what I have for you today
Let’s circle back next week
Not for now – Make it a great day Take care!
Link to download – https://mailchi.mp/michellebourquecoaching.com/episode66