Episode 81 The Importance of the Questions You Ask
Today I want to talk to you about the importance of the questions you ask yourself. The questions you ask will lead you to the results you currently have. We want to ensure your questions are ones that will lead you to the results you want in your life. Listen now to learn more.
IN THIS PODCAST:
- QBQ – The Question Behind the Question
- Jim Kwik – Limitless
- Asking better questions
- Passive Action vs Massive Action
- Reticular Activating System
- Personal responsibility vs blame
Join the private Facebook group: www.michellebourquecoaching.com/itsyourtime
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
NOTES:
Hello hello hello –
How are you guys doing today?
Listen –
Before we dive into the podcast
I have something I am super excited to tell you about
I started a private Facebook group
So we can take this all to a deeper level
I’ll be doing some teaching in there
Some coaching
And we can all do some connecting
It is going to be fun!
I’m going to focus on topics
That help you
own your life
Like really do more of what you want
And own the life you have
It really stems from the podcast title
It’s your time
Its your time to
own your life
To do what you want
More of what you want
Just because
You want
So – in order to get in
Just head to michellebourquecoaching.com/itsyourtime
And remember
Bourque
Is Bourque
I can’t wait to see you in there
Ok
Now – for todays topic
It came about because
I recently read a book
QBQ
The Question Behind the Question
And then I heard a podcast with Jim Kwik
Which – by the way –
If you don’t know who he is I suggest you
Check him out
He has great lessons to help you learn
How to learn
And learn faster
And really rewire your brain
In fact – I just bought his book
Limitless
So for sure I’ll let you know how it is
Anyhow
I was listening to the podcast
where he was
Talking about how important
It is for you to ask good questions
Because in the questions
You find your answer
And your answers
Lead to the results you have in your life
So I thought
I would share with you
Some of what I took from all of it
how it fits into the coaching I do
with my one on clients
And how it can help you
And let me begin
With something I think is so important
That came from something Kwik discussed
And I want you to really think about this
for you
We often hear the saying
knowledge is power
But that
is not really true
Think about it
You can come here
and listen to this podcast
Every week
You can
read all the books I mention
And check out
all the other podcasts
I suggest
So you have knowledge
Or what I like call
passive action
So you are taking action
To learn
Which is great
That’s more than a lot of people do
But
You don’t grow into your full potential
Of change
Until you actually do something with it
Which I call massive action
So you take the knowledge
And put it into action
And then you have power
So as you listen today
I want you to consider the questions Kwik posed
- How can I use this info?
- Why must I use this info?
- When will I use this info?
Now you start listening with a different lens
When you ask the questions
You activate your reticular activating system
If you clickety clack on the googles you will find
The Reticular Activating System 0r RAS
is the attention center in the brain.
It is the key to “turning on your brain”
some say it’s the gatekeeper of the thoughts
Allowed into your conscious mind
Your senses have so many things coming at them
The RAS decides
what is important to allow in
The questions you ask
Are important because they
Will become the filter
By which
you receive your answers
Our brains filter out
A LOT
Seriously –
Like a deletion machine
Think about it
If we have 60-80k thoughts a day
You for sure
Delete – or don’t pay attention to
Most of them
Side note
That’s why having a coach is so important
My coach for example is always pointing out
Things I don’t even realize I believe
Or sometimes things I don’t even realize
I’m saying
These are the things that keep us stuck
Or just repeating our lives
and that’s when we feel stuck
Our brains can be crazy friends ..lol..
This is why I always say
Awareness if everything
Once we know
What we are thinking
Then we have power
of deciding
if we want to keep thinking it
Let me ask you this
Have you ever had the experience
Where you buy a new car
And all of a sudden
You see the same car all the time
Did those cars just magically appear?
No
Its just now you have a new point of reference
Your reticular activating system
Is now filtering
With your car as a reference
So you can see the cars
Or
why is it
That my husband and I can pass
The same guy on the street
And marc will say
Did you notice that guy was wearing a brown belt
And black shoes?
And my reply
I didn’t even see the guy
lol.. true story you guys
It happened years ago
My RAS clearly didn’t think
It was important ..lol..
Its fascinating
You know what else is interesting to consider
A lot of what we find in our current lives
Is based on a bunch of BS we have right?
BS – meaning
Our belief systems
So we have been told along the way
That maybe you were told you weren’t smart enough
Or maybe you were a fat kid
And believe you can never lose the weight
Or maybe you grew up around drinking
And that’s just what you do on weekends
So you believe these things to be true
And you know what
You find all the evidence to prove it true
A question I hear with weight loss clients
Goes something like this
Why can’t I lose this weight?
Guess what your brain is going to do
It’s going to find all the evidence to tell you
Why you haven’t been able to lose all the weight
Ok – so great. – now you have the answers
To what you don’t want to have accomplished
So this is why you have to ask better questions
By asking better questions
you basically upgrade the hardware of your brain
In this case
Something like
How can I find ways to make weight loss fun
Might work
Or
Think about
when you are introduced
To a new colleague for example
If I introduce you to my friend Sally
And I tell you before hand
How amazing she is
Guess what you are going to find?
You most likely
are going to think she is amazing too
Because that’s the filter you will be looking through
So its about asking better questions
And going along the same idea
We can look at asking the question
Behind the question
In the book I mentioned earlier
QBQ
The author talks about using the following guidelines
When you are asking the question behind the question
- Begin with What or How (not why when or who)
- Contain an I (so not they, we or you)
- Focus on action
Remember
When we think about the thought model
your actions lead to your results
Which comes from your feelings
That were triggered by a thought
So the answer
in the question
Will be the thought
Follow me?
When you ask something along the lines
Of
What can I do to change this now
It fits into the guidelines – using what
Contains action – you are looking for ways to change now
And its about you
So I’ll use myself as an example here
Let’s say I’m having
what I think is a terrible day
Nothing seems to be going right
I might ask myself
What can I do
to change this now
My answer is going to be
What I put as the thought
If I’m doing a thought model
Because remember – we never put a question in the thought line
Of the model
So my answer – or thought
could be
I’m going to find all the ways
This is happening for me
Which allows me to feel a bit of relief
And then I will have a different take
on everything happening around me
As opposed to
Asking myself
Why is this happening to me
And then the answer is going to be
All the ways I’m the victim
And we know –
When you are a victim
You don’t do anything
Being a victim
Usually feels pretty terrible
And no positive action
Comes from a negative feeling
You guys
This difference is everything
In the first question I hold the power
What can I do
In the second
I have no chance
Its a poor me stance
It may seem like a subtle difference
But it will give you
Completely different results
And that’s what we do here right?
Find new ways to get
New results in our lives.
So I want to circle back with you
Remember the 3 questions we started with
How can I use this info?
Why must I use this info?
When will I use this info?
I really want to encourage you
To answer them
Take action
So you can see some new results
Ok – that’s what I have for you today
Lets circle back next week
don’t forget to head to
michellebouruqecoaching.com/itsyourtime
To get into the private group
We are just starting so don’t delay
Ok – stay healthy friends
And make it great day
Take care