Episode 131 Year End Craziness

Episode Notes:

Join me today as I talk about ways you can close a quarter, a year, or finish a project without all the stress and overwhelm you normally feel.  I’m discussing the importance of responding vs reacting, how you can find new ways to always be enough and what you can stop immediately in order to make the first steps towards more peace.  

In This Episode:

• React vs Respond 
• The “reality” of it all
• Year end stress 
• John Acuff – Soundtracks
• Thinking on purpose 
• Problems vs solutions
• Doing more of what you want
• How to have less stress

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Episode Transcript:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back friends 

How is your week going?

Can you even believe it’s the end of the month?

And for us

It’s the end of our fiscal year

I should clarify 

It’s the end of the fiscal year

The most important in history 

Until next year..lol..

You know if you know right? Lol..

And listen 

I can be as guilty as the next 

Marc deals with me every end of quarter 

End of year 

Me and my excedrin

And I have gotten so much better since I 

Learned all my tools in coaching

But I’m still human 

Here is the biggest difference 

I can see all of it now 

In the past I was soooo in it

I just believed all the crazy as truth 

As reality 

But do you want to know something?

Seriously 

And this is going to sound so woo woo

Reality 

Is make believe 

It is what 

We make ourselves believe 

I recently had someone tell me 

Let me just tell you the reality of the situation 

hahaah.

I was like … ok…

And then I spoke to someone else

Who was just as – if not more

Familiar with the situation 

And they also told me the reality of the situation 

Which was different 

than the first “reality”

It’s so funny 

Because a lot of times

It’s all perspective right?

Because my reality of what happened 

Was a little different than the other stories 

So think about this friend

Because so often 

We get stressed out at work 

About things we take so seriously 

And we quickly react 

Vs 

Respond 

And listen 

I’m not saying don’t take things seriously 

I’m suggesting 

You take things in 

And decide how you want to respond

So often

We just quickly react

And don’t take the time to really think about 

What we are doing 

What we want the result to be

Or how x might be effected

When we change y 

And then we wonder 

Why we are running around putting fires out 

And why we are so stressed out 

Think about this 

Think about a time when you maybe 

Got a prescription from a doctor

And they call you up the next day to see how you are doing

If you say something like

I’ve broken out in hives and my tongue is swollen

Well that my friends is a reaction

Negative

If you say 

My energy is up 

I feel great 

Then your responded to the medication 

Positive 

It’s not what happens to us in life

It’s how we respond to it 

First step in being able to respond more you ask?

Stop 

Just take a minute to stop

And I share this with you 

Because it has taken me some time to really get

So

Listen in ..lol..

And just hear me out 

Sometimes 

We have to slow down 

In order to speed up

This was so foreign to me 

For sooo long 

And if I can help you 

Understand this sooner 

I will have accomplished something powerful 

Let me give you an idea 

I used to get so worked up as we closed any quarter 

Or year

And it didn’t matter 

If I was over plan 

Just at plan 

Shy of plan. 

Stressed 

And I thought 

Based on what everyone else says and does

we all 

Needed to be totally stressed 

Let me give you a hint here 

Being totally stressed 

Doesn’t necesarily get you to plan

Any faster

Ask yourself if you are

Paying more attention to the problem

Or the solution 

It’s funny 

I used to think I had to to crazy workouts every morning

Just go go go  

And this year 

Im trying to do more mind management 

and intentional work each morning 

And you know something?

We have amazing year on year growth 

In a year of covid 

In an area super hard hit.

There is something too it friends 

And don’t be confused 

Just because you might not be so crazy 

Doesn’t mean you don’t care 

I care deeply 

About my patients 

My Doctors 

My Business 

But now I’m also caring 

About myself 

My sanity 

And you know something 

I can see 

When I’m working with people 

Who are acting soooo busy 

And who are sooo stressed 

They are ending up adding work for me 

Because they forget what I said 

Or weren’t listening 

And I get it 

It used to be me 

And I am by no means 

Saying I’m a zen Buddha master ..lol.

But – when I say 

You can do your job with less stress and overwhelm 

Think of the power we give to external things

And how they can determine our day

Maybe traffic is crazy

And you get to work 

And you start telling everyone 

How terrible your day is going 

Because you got stuck in traffic

really?

You are letting traffic ruin your day?

My guess is 

You know traffic happens 

You get to think about how you want to respond

In advance 

For anything like this 

I’lll give you one more example 

I remember when I first started

I thought for sure my rep

Was hazing me

He would send me out to this account 

That was at minimum 

Always running 2 hours late 

And I would get so frustrated 

Because I would be sitting around 

Wasting my life away 

That was my thought yes

Not a good one I can see now..lol..

And then one day I decided 

Wait 

If I know they are always late

Why don’t I bring some of my administrative work with me 

And guess what

I became way more efficient 

Vs 

I know what some of you all do in those instances 

You are texting your teammates

About how ridiculous it is

That our delayed 

And how terrible it is 

And on and on 

Then 

You say you never have any time 

To do what you want 

Well how about 

You start 

With ending the wasting of time 

Being os negative..lol.

I know you guys

Because it was me 

This is the work 

Being intentional

Thinking in advance.

Coming up with solutions 

And back up plans 

And not running around 

Like a chicken with your head cut off

When we are running around 

Putting out fire drills

We are not building a strong business 

There is a BIG difference

In being busy 

And being productive 

I actually don’t care how busy you are 

I care 

About the results you are getting 

To me 

That indicates 

How well 

You manage your mind 

It’s so much more powerful for you 

Just being able to show up

As an observer of your life 

Is such an amazing step 

In the right direction

So I just told you 

We had great year on year growth 

And that was over a year that we went from a team of 4

To 2 

I feel pretty fortunate for our team

And my brain 

Still want’s to tell me 

You didn’t do enough

Again 

In case you hear this same soundtrack 

It’s like a song 

you just cant 

get out 

of your head sometimes 

right?

So annoying 

Kinda like 

Call me maybe

Everybody was kunfu fighting

Who let the dogs out 

Can’t touch this 

Ice ice baby

Or maybe that cars for kids commercial..lol..

Just over and over 

I’m not enough

I didn’t do enough

Those are just soundtracks in your head

You don’t have to keep playing it 

I’m reading this book Soundtracks 

By Jon Acuff

So good 

And in it 

He suggest 3 questions when you start hearing 

Your soundtrack 

1.  Is it true? 

2.  Is it helpful?

3. Is it kind?

So listen 

You might have told yourself 

I’m not enough 

For so many years

You might say 

It is true 

But then go to 

Is it helpful?

Likely 

No 

I don’t think 

There is one successful person in history 

That said

Yes

All I did was shame and beat myself up

And then I became successful 

No 

You have to love yourself all the way

And 

Is it kind?

Would you ever say it to a girlfriend?

No.

So why are you saying it to yourself?

No upside friends 

And remember 

I don’t ever tell you 

To jump to some bs thought 

You don’t believe 

I’m suggesting you start 

Seeing it as a thought

Not 

Who you are 

And then 

You can just start asking yourself 

To find evidence

Of how you are doing enough

And a great activity to begin with 

Is 

At the end of each day 

Just write down 3 things 

Where you had success during the day 

And focus on that 

A lot of times 

We go to bed 

And think about all we didn’t do 

That’s default thinking 

Start thinking about 3 things 

You did well

And see how that leaves you feeling 

As you start your next day.

Let me know how it goes ok?

You can connect with me on the socials 

Michellebourquecoaching

And I if you want help with this 

Let me know 

I recently changed my coaching program

So I can help more women 

AND

Its so much more helpful for you 

Flexibility coaching 

I so love it for you 

It’s totally 

On your time 

And you can make the change you are looking for 

Just send me a dm to learn more

So easy 

So fun 

Ok friends 

Thats what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay healthy 

And 

Make it a great day

Take care!