Ep 94 Self Identity and Discomfort

Ep 94 Self Identity and Discomfort

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EPISODE NOTES:

In today’s episode I am discussing the changes you need to make when you want to take your life to the next level.  Whether you are looking to take on a new role at work or go for a promotion there are three things you need to be willing to:  be bad, feel discomfort, change your identity.  Staying comfortable keeps you safe – but feeling trapped in life.  Listen today to hear more about how your brain is wired to keep you small – and what you can do to move away from that in order to do more of what you want.  

IN THIS EPISODE:

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back friends 

Who are you doing this week?

I have to tell you 

I am so pumped 

I am developing a group Mastermind course 

And this weekend I did so much work on it 

It’s going to be so much fun 

And so helpful to a number of people 

I’ll give you a little insight 

Its main focus is sales mindset 

Especially for the gal 

Who wants to either get into medical device sales

Or is just starting out 

And wants to be successful 

For the long run 

And 

By success 

I mean 

Knowing that your time is your time

And you can be successful in the kinda crazy 

Schedule of the career 

And 

Do more of what you want 

I can not wait to release it

Now listen 

If you 

Or someone you know 

Is interested in joining the first round 

It’s going to my beta program

Be sure to get on my email list 

Because that is where all the details will be 

Once we get started 

So head to michellebourquecoaching.com

Sign up 

In the interim you will also get 

My guide to the 3 simple steps  

To improve work-life integration 

So excited 

I’ll keep you posted for sure 

Ok so today I want to talk to you about 

Our brain wiring 

Our identities 

And discomfort 

Sounds like fun right?  Lol

So let’s start with the basics 

We’ve talked about this before 

The idea that the brain is hard wired for negativity 

Remember – the primal brains job is to protect us

So whenever anything comes up that is maybe new 

Or unknown 

The immediate response tends to be 

Stay away 

It might kill us 

The brain is designed around the 

Motivational triad to 

Avoid pain

Seek pleasure 

And be as efficient as possible

So think about this 

Think about any time you have gone for 

Maybe a new job

Or a promotion 

And all the doubt comes up that you can do it

I know for me 

For sure

When I first started in medical device sales 

And learned I would be in the OR

Working with doctors 

And patients 

I was like 

What to the what

Omg 

I distinctly remember 

Being in a case 

This was years ago 

And they had part of the patients skull off 

And I was checking something 

With connections of the equipment

And I thought 

Where the hell did my life make this left turn

I am a communications major 

lol..

Not to worry 

My company has amazing training 

But here is the thing 

When I first started 

Now over 14 years ago

I did not identify as a medical device rep

In fact – in that first year

I thought I should go back to pharma sales 

Because everything seemed so crazy 

In devices 

But here’s the thing

And think about where this shows up for you 

Because it’s a great example of the motivational triad

When I first started 

My schedule was very unknown 

I was still learning about my therapies 

And the territory 

And my physicians 

And it was hard 

There was a lot of discomfort

So of course my brain – just like yours 

Wanted to avoid it 

And 

I knew I was successful as a pharma rep

So that would be more of the pleasure right?

I could go back to getting my awards 

And dopamine hits 

And 

It would be easy 

I did it for 5 years 

I knew what needed to be done 

So avoid pain – leave 

Seek pleasure – find what I knew I was successful at 

And be efficient – comfort of knowing that needed to be done 

And that my friends 

Is part of what keeps us living the same life over and over 

So where are you kinda playing small

Because you know its safe and comfy 

But 

You also feel the desire to take it to the next level?

Let me fill you in on something 

Discomfort is the currency you pay 

To get to all of your dreams

And change – especially in the sales world

Is one constant you can be sure of 

So if you want to continue to excel 

You have to be first willing to feel uncomfortable 

And second 

Be willing to be bad

So often we hold ourselves back

Because we want to be sure we are doing it right 

But the only way we really know 

What is right 

Is to start doing something 

Sometimes we get a win

Sometimes we have a learning opportunity 

But the more you keep making decisions 

To keep going 

The more advanced you will be 

Discomfort can take a lot of forms 

So starting out in devices 

Discomfort was not always knowing the answer 

Discomfort was embarrassment if I got an answer wrong 

Discomfort for sure was feeling like I had no control of my schedule 

And could never do anything I wanted 

And let me tell you something about that 

That discomfort lasted about 11 years..lol..

I honestly didn’t shift that thinking 

Until I started coaching about 3 years ago

And everything changed 

Now – the other component to  think about 

Is your identity 

I recently read a great book 

The Alter Ego 

By Todd Herman 

Where he talks about his experience 

Coaching champions 

In every field 

On how to bring out 

The 

What he calls 

Heroic self 

So they can transcend 

The forces pulling them into the ordinary world

He uses examples of athletes 

And salespeople 

And entrepreneurs 

And executives

So good

Think

Sasha Fiece and Beyonce 

Got it?

And he asks this question:

Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?

But here is what I think is so interesting

And remember 

I always say awareness 

Is the first step

Remember how I just told you the story of the OR

Where I thought 

How did this happen 

I’m a communications major

Well I don’t think the identity questions 

In our brains

Ever go away 

When we are trying new things 

Kinda like that 

Who do you think you are 

Trying to take it to the next level? lol.. 

right?

Because I’ll tell you a little something 

Now – I so identify as Medtronic Michelle 

I’ve been doing it for so long 

That when I started my business as a life coach

There was a lot of discomfort 

What am I doing?

How do I do this?

All the stuff comes up again 

This past year I’ve stepped into more leadership roles 

And again 

My brain want’s to remind me 

That it will be better 

To just be a really good rep

And fly under the radar

But I am sooo onto myself 

And this is not just me folks

It’s you 

It might look different 

I share my stories with you as examples so you can think about it for you

Think about when you take on a new role

And maybe you have a little bit of a challenge 

Letting go of some of the tasks you used to do

In your old role

Because you know you are good at it 

Or maybe you are in the new role

And people are asking you to help with what they know you are great at

And you do it 

Do you know why you do it?

It’s interesting 

Most often

It’s because you don’t want to say no 

Because that would be uncomfortable 

See that …

It’s all part of it

You have to be willing to be bad in order to make the next leap

You have to be willing to feel the discomfort to get to your dreams 

All knowing 

Your brain is just doing its job 

All the doubt 

All the chatter telling you you should be doing it differently 

It’s all part of how we are wired 

But 

This work 

The work we do here 

Is to rewire all of that 

To truly be able to do more of what we want 

And remember 

This just came up in our online community 

When you do this work 

You must do it without judgement 

So get curious 

When you hear yourself 

Telling you you should have done something differently 

Or you shouldn’t be thinking a certain way

Stop

Question it 

Questions everything folks 

Our brains like to feed us a lot of BS that isn’t useful

And by BS 

I mean belief systems 

lol..

And that is actually super important to remember too

A lot of times 

Our identities are tied 

Very tightly to what our families and friends think

And when you start doing things differently 

They might be uncomfortable 

They might question 

Listen – my family still can’t believe I’m in an OR

And they think my coaching is part of a cult program..lol..

We have to be ok

With other people also not being ok

Or maybe 

They even 

Feel uncomfortable with what we are doing 

We have to be ok with that to keep going 

So this week 

Pay attention to who you are 

And who you want to show up as 

Ask yourself 

Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?

And be willing to feel uncomfortable 

It really is where you start to see one amazing changes in your life

Ok 

Thats what I have for you today 

Lets circle back next week

But for now

Stay safe 

And make it a great day 

Take care!

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