Ep 94 Self Identity and Discomfort
EPISODE NOTES:
In today’s episode I am discussing the changes you need to make when you want to take your life to the next level. Whether you are looking to take on a new role at work or go for a promotion there are three things you need to be willing to: be bad, feel discomfort, change your identity. Staying comfortable keeps you safe – but feeling trapped in life. Listen today to hear more about how your brain is wired to keep you small – and what you can do to move away from that in order to do more of what you want.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- Motivational triad of the brain
- Current self identity
- Alter Ego – Todd Herman https://toddherman.me/media/
- Feeling uncomfortable
- Achieving your dreams
- Email list: upcoming group medical device sales mindset mastermind – get on list here: https://michellebourquecoaching.com
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Hello hello hello
Welcome back friends
Who are you doing this week?
I have to tell you
I am so pumped
I am developing a group Mastermind course
And this weekend I did so much work on it
It’s going to be so much fun
And so helpful to a number of people
I’ll give you a little insight
Its main focus is sales mindset
Especially for the gal
Who wants to either get into medical device sales
Or is just starting out
And wants to be successful
For the long run
And
By success
I mean
Knowing that your time is your time
And you can be successful in the kinda crazy
Schedule of the career
And
Do more of what you want
I can not wait to release it
Now listen
If you
Or someone you know
Is interested in joining the first round
It’s going to my beta program
Be sure to get on my email list
Because that is where all the details will be
Once we get started
So head to michellebourquecoaching.com
Sign up
In the interim you will also get
My guide to the 3 simple steps
To improve work-life integration
So excited
I’ll keep you posted for sure
Ok so today I want to talk to you about
Our brain wiring
Our identities
And discomfort
Sounds like fun right? Lol
So let’s start with the basics
We’ve talked about this before
The idea that the brain is hard wired for negativity
Remember – the primal brains job is to protect us
So whenever anything comes up that is maybe new
Or unknown
The immediate response tends to be
Stay away
It might kill us
The brain is designed around the
Motivational triad to
Avoid pain
Seek pleasure
And be as efficient as possible
So think about this
Think about any time you have gone for
Maybe a new job
Or a promotion
And all the doubt comes up that you can do it
I know for me
For sure
When I first started in medical device sales
And learned I would be in the OR
Working with doctors
And patients
I was like
What to the what
Omg
I distinctly remember
Being in a case
This was years ago
And they had part of the patients skull off
And I was checking something
With connections of the equipment
And I thought
Where the hell did my life make this left turn
I am a communications major
lol..
Not to worry
My company has amazing training
But here is the thing
When I first started
Now over 14 years ago
I did not identify as a medical device rep
In fact – in that first year
I thought I should go back to pharma sales
Because everything seemed so crazy
In devices
But here’s the thing
And think about where this shows up for you
Because it’s a great example of the motivational triad
When I first started
My schedule was very unknown
I was still learning about my therapies
And the territory
And my physicians
And it was hard
There was a lot of discomfort
So of course my brain – just like yours
Wanted to avoid it
And
I knew I was successful as a pharma rep
So that would be more of the pleasure right?
I could go back to getting my awards
And dopamine hits
And
It would be easy
I did it for 5 years
I knew what needed to be done
So avoid pain – leave
Seek pleasure – find what I knew I was successful at
And be efficient – comfort of knowing that needed to be done
And that my friends
Is part of what keeps us living the same life over and over
So where are you kinda playing small
Because you know its safe and comfy
But
You also feel the desire to take it to the next level?
Let me fill you in on something
Discomfort is the currency you pay
To get to all of your dreams
And change – especially in the sales world
Is one constant you can be sure of
So if you want to continue to excel
You have to be first willing to feel uncomfortable
And second
Be willing to be bad
So often we hold ourselves back
Because we want to be sure we are doing it right
But the only way we really know
What is right
Is to start doing something
Sometimes we get a win
Sometimes we have a learning opportunity
But the more you keep making decisions
To keep going
The more advanced you will be
Discomfort can take a lot of forms
So starting out in devices
Discomfort was not always knowing the answer
Discomfort was embarrassment if I got an answer wrong
Discomfort for sure was feeling like I had no control of my schedule
And could never do anything I wanted
And let me tell you something about that
That discomfort lasted about 11 years..lol..
I honestly didn’t shift that thinking
Until I started coaching about 3 years ago
And everything changed
Now – the other component to think about
Is your identity
I recently read a great book
The Alter Ego
By Todd Herman
Where he talks about his experience
Coaching champions
In every field
On how to bring out
The
What he calls
Heroic self
So they can transcend
The forces pulling them into the ordinary world
He uses examples of athletes
And salespeople
And entrepreneurs
And executives
So good
Think
Sasha Fiece and Beyonce
Got it?
And he asks this question:
Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?
But here is what I think is so interesting
And remember
I always say awareness
Is the first step
Remember how I just told you the story of the OR
Where I thought
How did this happen
I’m a communications major
Well I don’t think the identity questions
In our brains
Ever go away
When we are trying new things
Kinda like that
Who do you think you are
Trying to take it to the next level? lol..
right?
Because I’ll tell you a little something
Now – I so identify as Medtronic Michelle
I’ve been doing it for so long
That when I started my business as a life coach
There was a lot of discomfort
What am I doing?
How do I do this?
All the stuff comes up again
This past year I’ve stepped into more leadership roles
And again
My brain want’s to remind me
That it will be better
To just be a really good rep
And fly under the radar
But I am sooo onto myself
And this is not just me folks
It’s you
It might look different
I share my stories with you as examples so you can think about it for you
Think about when you take on a new role
And maybe you have a little bit of a challenge
Letting go of some of the tasks you used to do
In your old role
Because you know you are good at it
Or maybe you are in the new role
And people are asking you to help with what they know you are great at
And you do it
Do you know why you do it?
It’s interesting
Most often
It’s because you don’t want to say no
Because that would be uncomfortable
See that …
It’s all part of it
You have to be willing to be bad in order to make the next leap
You have to be willing to feel the discomfort to get to your dreams
All knowing
Your brain is just doing its job
All the doubt
All the chatter telling you you should be doing it differently
It’s all part of how we are wired
But
This work
The work we do here
Is to rewire all of that
To truly be able to do more of what we want
And remember
This just came up in our online community
When you do this work
You must do it without judgement
So get curious
When you hear yourself
Telling you you should have done something differently
Or you shouldn’t be thinking a certain way
Stop
Question it
Questions everything folks
Our brains like to feed us a lot of BS that isn’t useful
And by BS
I mean belief systems
lol..
And that is actually super important to remember too
A lot of times
Our identities are tied
Very tightly to what our families and friends think
And when you start doing things differently
They might be uncomfortable
They might question
Listen – my family still can’t believe I’m in an OR
And they think my coaching is part of a cult program..lol..
We have to be ok
With other people also not being ok
Or maybe
They even
Feel uncomfortable with what we are doing
We have to be ok with that to keep going
So this week
Pay attention to who you are
And who you want to show up as
Ask yourself
Who or what needs to show up to make success inevitable?
And be willing to feel uncomfortable
It really is where you start to see one amazing changes in your life
Ok
Thats what I have for you today
Lets circle back next week
But for now
Stay safe
And make it a great day
Take care!