Ep 92 A Different Kind of Self Care
EPISODE NOTES:
The definition of self care reads: the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. So let’s start here – taking action to preserve or improve ones own health. That seems like a pretty important thing to me right? But somewhere along the line we started thinking self care is selfish. What part of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, seems selfish? Interesting isn’t it? The other thing, is somewhere along the line, people started thinking self care meant bubble baths, massages, and days at the spa. Now listen – maybe on some days that is fabulous – and you do that. But I want to talk about DAILY self care – a deeper level of self care that is different from all those other ideas.
IN THIS EPISODE:Definition of self care
The importance of planning and sticking to the plan
The importance of thought work
Sticking to commitments
Being the CEO of your life
Setting boundaries and saying no
Loving yourself
www.michellebourquecoaching.com/consult
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hello hello hello
Welcome back to the podcast my friends
How did your July go?
As much as I work on being intentional every single day
I have to be honest
I feel like we were just talking about
4th of July
Well – I always keep it real with you
Clearly I have a few more levels of
Intentionality to develop ..lol..
But I will also say – one area
That I think I have become much better
At being intentional with
Is self care
And it’s what I want to talke to you about today
When I did the old
Clickety clack on the googles
I found the definition of self care as
the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health
So I’m going to start here
Taking action to preserve or improve ones own health
That seems like a pretty important thing to me right?
But somewhere along the line
We started thinking self care
Is
Selfish
What part of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health
Seems selfish?
Interesting isn’t it?
The other thing is
Somewhere along the line
People started thinking self care
Meant bubble baths
Massages and
Days at the spa
Now listen – maybe some days
That is fabulous
and you do that
But I want to talk about DAILY self care
A deeper level of self care
And I think there are small changes you can make
And if you didn’t listen to last weeks podcast
go back and check it out
I talked about how small changes can lead to big
Lasting results
So you can make small changes in your self care habits
And I promise you
You will see some amazing results
I’m sharing some ideas with you today
You take what worlks
Leave what doesn’t
But at minimum
I want to encourage you
to begin opening your mind
To the idea
That self care isn’t selfish
It is selfless
Because if you don’t take the actions to preserve or improve your health
Who will?
And guess what sister?
You are the one taking care of all of them
You need to take care of you
So lets jump into some ideas of what that might look like
And when I discuss health
You all know I mean mental and physical
Because I promise you this
If you don’t have a half managed mind
It doesn’t matter what your physical health is like
You will not be in a place to continue to do it all
And thrive
First area to consider
How do you fuel your body?
Remember
You have one, and only one
And I’m curious
Not only what you put in it
But how you decide
Or
do you just eat on a whim –
No real thought
Because you think you are too busy to take the time for that
If this is you
I get it
It used to be me
Especially when I was young in my career
Now listen – all you younger gals
Maybe just starting out
You are already ahead of the game
because you are listening to this
I didn’t know any better
You do – but don’t just listen
Start taking action
And this is for all of you
I want to encourage you all
To begin implementing
Self care idea #1
Plan your meals in advance
Now for me
I make all my work lunches on either Sat or Sun
Super simple
Some type of salad or roasted veggies packaged up
I add a little cottage cheese and hard boiled egg
Which I also make over the weekend
And then I’m done
Now here’s what that does
Back in the day
I would just think I would stop someplace during the day
And then I would be pulled in all different directions
When my schedule changed last minute
And I would end up maybe getting something
From a gas station
yup, I said it..a gas station ..lol..
Or miss eating
ohhh… And then I get hangry
Which is never a pretty sight ..lol..
Now
I think I can already hear your brain
Planning all lunches in advance?
What if I don’t ‘feel like having it the day of ?
My guess is
you might not
But the thing is
Deciding and planning in advance and eating what you plan
Has a couple of layered benefits
First
You are eating food based on what your pre-frontal cortex has planned
Thats the executive part of your brain
And it’s the part that decides the food that will best fuel you
So you can have the energy
Insert Self care
To do more of what you truly want
Not just what your lizard brain
Feels like doing in the moment
Remember
Our lizard brain is lazy
Just wants to avoid pain
Seek pleasure
And be as efficient as possible
Ie – continue doing the same things over and over
And stay comfortable
But when you have true lasting desires
Like – To evolve
That doesn’t work
You need to plan for growth
And the second layer of benefit for you starting this process
Is you begin to build the relationship you have with yourself
And this is everything friends
It is so easy for our brains to offer up thoughts
about how terrible we are
Or how we don’t do enough
But when you start planning a simple thing like a lunch
And you honor that commitment
You show your brain the evidence
That you are important
And that you have your own back
And that you do what you say you will do
Keep building that muscle
And you will be amazed at how many different
Things you will attempt
Because you know you will figure it out
Now I like to bang out the entire work week on one day over the weekend
But if if works better for you to just start
Planning one day in advance
Go for it
Just make the change to be intentional
About ensuring you are eating
Something healthy for your body
That you have planned in advance
And stick to it
Ok
Next idea for self care
Take the time to think about
What you are thinking about
You can literally start with 5 minutes in the morning
Take a notebook
And write down everything you are thinking about
Get it all out on paper
And then look at it
lol.. sometimes I scare the crap out of myself
When I can see what is going on in there
Here’s why this is useful
Taking the time to get your thoughts on paper
Allows you to get some space from them
Because you know how it is right?
We get in these thought loops
Thinking a bunch of crazy stuff
And the more we think it
The more we believe it to be just the way we are
Remember
We have on average
60,000 thoughts a day
We can’t possibly know what they all are
But if you start taking the time
To think about
What you think about
That brings so much more awareness to your life
And – you are much more likely
To live with intention when you start this practice
Awareness is always the first step to make changes
So many people
You go about life
Thinking everything is just happening to you
The job is frustrating you
The spouse doesn’t care
The boss … on and on
You get it right?
When you get all of this on paper
You can separate out
What are thoughts
Which we know are optional
And what are facts
Facts mean everyone would agree
So
Just to give you an example
Not everyone would agree your spouse doesn’t care – so that’s a thought
And not everyone would agree your job frustrates you – so that’s a thought
What you will find is
Just about everything on the paper
Will be a thought
It’s
fascinating
And then you start to look at all of the thoughts
Knowing they are optional
You get to decide if you want to continue thinking them
Now
I might be able to hear your brain here as well..lol..
Because listen
I’ve don’t the work – so I had very similar thoughts when I started
Really?
You want me to take 5 minutes to think about what I’m thinking about?
I don’t have 5 minutes
Here’s what I want to tell you
If you are thinking that
You should likely set aside 10 minutes to do the work ..lol.
Because you really need it!
Being able to manage your mind
Is EVERYTHING
When you are trying to excel in your career
And be able to do more of what you want
Without all the stress and overwhelm
And honestly
Some days I think I about half manage my brain..lol..
And that’s way above what most others do
I promise you it’s worth it
Self care IS doing this work
So in order to make this small change
I want to encourage you to write down
Where in your calendar
You are taking the 5 minutes
To begin doing this
Don’t just think you will miraculously find the time
Or fit it in
We are talking self care
You put it on the calendar
As if you are having an appointment
With the most important CEO you know
Which by the way
You are
You are the most important CEO you know
Of your life
So start acting as if
That’s true
And you will be much more likely
To take care of yourself
Now here is something that might seem a little different to be considered
Self care
Setting boundaries and saying no
Both are tremendous actions to take towards self care
These are big ones
I think for a lot of us
Setting boundaires
And saying no
can be difficult
Because we think
We don’t want to hurt someones feelings
We think we “should” just do what they ask
I mean
think about it
“be a good girl”
“do what I say”
Those are some of the things we heard growing up right?
So of course our brain thinks we should do what others ask
But we are grown adults now
And we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to
And if we do do something
We need to recognize we are choosing to do it
And I know
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like a choice
But it always is
And when we can own that
We know we are not victims to all the external stuff
Remember
Coming from a victim mentality
Does not promote any opportunities for your brain
To find out how to make any changes
Because you just think you are a victim right?
See what I mean when I say self care isn’t just bubble baths
And massages?
Sometimes its doing this work
Learning how to say no
Setting boundaries from love
It’s not always easy
But let me tell you
Doing it
Will change your life
And speaking of love
I’m going to close out todays list with the idea
That one of the top things you need to practice
As you improve your areas of self care
Is self love
All of the things I’ve discussed today
The planning of food as fuel
The honoring the commitments to yourself
The having your own back
The thought work
The setting boundaries
All of that
Is building the relationship you have with yourself
Taking the time to take care of yourself
Taking the time to love yourself
How many of you really love yourself?
It’s so much easier to just beat ourselves up
Loving yourself
That’s not alway easy
Try this
Try looking in the mirror
Saying I love you
Yes – I know – it sounds a little funny right?
Make eye contact
With yourself
And say I love you
Maybe go crazy and give yourself a little wink
While you are at it..lol..
Do that often
Because my friends
Loving yourself
Really is an inside job
And the more you do it
The more likely you are to prioritize your life
In a way
That allows you to excel in your career
And be able to do more of what you want
Without the stress and overwhelm
And that
is a magical place
I hope you join me!
And if you are ready to do more of this work one on one
I just opened some spots for free consult calls this month
Head over to michellebourquecoaching.com/consult to get on the schedule
It’s a no obligation call
We discuss where you are
Where you want to be
And if it’s a good fit for us to work together
No matter what
You will leave with some new insight
Ok – that’s what I have for your today
Let’s circle back next week
But for now
Stay safe and
Make it a great day
Take care!