Ep 92 A Different Kind of Self Care

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The definition of self care reads: the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.  So let’s start here – taking action to preserve or improve ones own health.  That seems like a pretty important thing to me  right?  But somewhere along the line we started thinking self care is selfish.  What part of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health, seems selfish?  Interesting isn’t it?  The other thing, is somewhere along the line, people started thinking self care meant bubble baths, massages, and days at the spa.  Now listen – maybe on some days that is fabulous – and you do that.  But I want to talk about DAILY self care – a deeper level of self care that is different from all those other ideas. 

IN THIS EPISODE:Definition of self care

The importance of planning and sticking to the plan

The importance of thought work

Sticking to commitments 

Being the CEO of your life

Setting boundaries and saying no

Loving yourself 


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Hello hello hello

Welcome back to the podcast my friends 

How did your July go?

As much as I work on being intentional every single day

I have to be honest

I feel like we were just talking about 

4th of July 

Well – I always keep it real with you

Clearly I have a few more levels of 

Intentionality to develop ..lol..

But I will also say – one area 

That I think I have become much better 

At being intentional with 

Is self care

And it’s what I want to talke to you about today

When I did the old 

Clickety clack on the googles 

I found the definition of self care as

the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health

So I’m going to start here

Taking action to preserve or improve ones own health

That seems like a pretty important thing to me  right?

But somewhere along the line

We started thinking self care



What part of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health

Seems selfish?

Interesting isn’t it?

The other thing is 

Somewhere along the line 

People started thinking self care 

Meant bubble baths 

Massages and 

Days at the spa 

Now listen – maybe some days 

That is fabulous 

and you do that 

But I want to talk about DAILY self care 

A deeper level of self care

And I think there are small changes you can make 

And if you didn’t listen to last weeks podcast

 go back and check it out

I talked about how small changes can lead to big

Lasting results

So you can make small changes in your self care habits

And I promise you 

You will see some amazing results

I’m sharing some ideas with you today

You take what worlks

Leave what doesn’t 

But at minimum 

I want to encourage you 

to begin opening your mind

To the idea 

That self care isn’t selfish

It is selfless

Because if you don’t take the actions to preserve or improve your health 

Who will?

And guess what sister?

You are the one taking care of all of them 

You need to take care of you

So lets jump into some ideas of what that might look like 

And when I discuss health 

You all know I mean mental and physical

Because I promise you this 

If you don’t have a half managed mind

It doesn’t matter what your physical health is like 

You will not be in a place to continue to do it all

And thrive 

First area to consider 

How do you fuel your body?


You have one, and only one

And I’m curious

Not only what you put in it

But how you decide 


do you just eat on a whim –

No real thought 

Because you think you are too busy to take the time for that 

If this is you 

I get it 

It used to be me

Especially when I was young in my career 

Now listen – all you younger gals 

Maybe just starting out

You are already ahead of the game 

because you are listening to this

I didn’t know any better

You do – but don’t just listen 

Start taking action

And this is for all of you

I want to encourage you all

To begin implementing 

Self care idea #1

Plan your meals in advance 

Now for me 

I make all my work lunches on either Sat or Sun

Super simple 

Some type of salad or roasted veggies packaged up

I add a little cottage cheese and hard boiled egg

Which I also make over the weekend 

And then I’m done

Now here’s what that does 

Back in the day 

I would just think I would stop someplace during the day 

And then I would be pulled in all different directions 

When my schedule changed last minute

And I would end up maybe getting something 

From a gas station 

yup, I said it..a gas station ..lol..

Or miss eating

ohhh… And then I get hangry 

Which is never a pretty sight ..lol..


I think I can already hear your brain 

Planning all lunches in advance? 

What if I don’t ‘feel like having it the day of ?

My guess is 

you might not 

But the thing is 

Deciding and planning in advance and eating what you plan

Has a couple of layered benefits 


You are eating food based on what your pre-frontal cortex has planned

Thats the executive part of your brain

And it’s the part that decides the food that will best fuel you

So you can have the energy 

Insert Self care

To do more of what you truly want 

Not just what your lizard brain 

Feels like doing in the moment 


Our lizard brain is lazy 

Just wants to avoid pain

Seek pleasure 

And be as efficient as possible 

Ie – continue doing the same things over and over 

And stay comfortable

But when you have true lasting desires 

Like – To evolve 

That doesn’t work

You need to plan for growth

And the second layer of benefit for you starting this process

Is you begin to build the relationship you have with yourself 

And this is everything friends

It is so easy for our brains to offer up thoughts 

about how terrible we are 

Or how we don’t do enough

But when you start planning a simple thing like a lunch

And you honor that commitment 

You show your brain the evidence 

That you are important 

And that you have your own back

And that you do what you say you will do

Keep building that muscle 

And you will be amazed at how many different 

Things you will attempt 

Because you know you will figure it out

Now I like to bang out the entire work week on one day over the weekend 

But if if works better for you to just start

Planning one day in advance

Go for it

Just make the change to be intentional

About ensuring you are eating 

Something healthy for your body 

That you have planned in advance

And stick to it


Next idea for self care 

Take the time to think about

What you are thinking about 

You can literally start with 5 minutes in the morning 

Take a notebook

And write down everything you are thinking about 

Get it all out on paper 

And then look at it

lol.. sometimes I scare the crap out of myself 

When I can see what is going on in there

Here’s why this is useful

Taking the time to get your thoughts on paper

Allows you to get some space from them 

Because you know how it is right?

We get in these thought loops 

Thinking a bunch of crazy stuff

And the more we think it

The more we believe it to be just the way we are 


We have on average 

60,000 thoughts a day

We can’t possibly know what they all are 

But if you start taking the time 

To think about 

What you think about 

That brings so much more awareness to your life

And – you are much more likely 

To live with intention when you start this practice

Awareness is always the first step to make changes 

So many people 

You go about life 

Thinking everything is just happening to you 

The job is frustrating you 

The spouse doesn’t care 

The boss … on and on 

You get it right?

When you get all of this on paper 

You can separate out 

What are thoughts 

Which we know are optional

And what are facts 

Facts mean everyone would agree 


Just to give you an example 

Not everyone would agree your spouse doesn’t care – so that’s a thought

And not everyone would agree your job frustrates you – so that’s a thought 

What you will find is 

Just about everything on the paper 

Will be a thought 



And then you start to look at all of the thoughts 

Knowing they are optional 

You get to decide if you want to continue thinking them


I might be able to hear your brain here as well..lol..

Because listen 

I’ve don’t the work – so I had very similar thoughts when I started 


You want me to take 5 minutes to think about what I’m thinking about?

I don’t have 5 minutes 

Here’s what I want to tell you 

If you are thinking that 

You should likely set aside 10 minutes to do the work ..lol.

Because you really need it! 

Being able to manage your mind 


When you are trying to excel in your career 

And be able to do more of what you want 

Without all the stress and overwhelm 

And honestly 

Some days I think I about half manage my brain..lol..

And that’s way above what most others do 

I promise you it’s worth it 

Self care IS doing this work

So in order to make this small change 

 I want to encourage you to write down 

Where in your calendar 

You are taking the 5 minutes 

To begin doing this

Don’t just think you will miraculously find the time  

Or fit it in

We are talking self care

You put it on the calendar 

As if you are having an appointment 

With the most important CEO you know 

Which by the way 

You are 

You are the most important CEO you know 

Of your life 

So start acting as if 

That’s true 

And you will be much more likely 

To take care of yourself 

Now here is something that might seem a little different to be considered 

Self care

Setting boundaries and saying no

Both are tremendous actions to take towards self care

These are big ones 

I think for a lot of us

Setting boundaires 

And saying no 

can be difficult

Because we think

We don’t want to hurt someones feelings 

We think we “should” just do what they ask

I mean 

think about it

“be a good girl”

“do what I say”

Those are some of the things we heard growing up right?

So of course our brain thinks we should do what others ask

But we are grown adults now 

And we don’t have to do anything we don’t want to 

And if we do do something 

We need to recognize we are choosing to do it

And I know 

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like a choice 

But it always is 

And when we can own that 

We know we are not victims to all the external stuff 


Coming from a victim mentality 

Does not promote any opportunities for your brain

To find out how to make any changes 

Because you just think you are a victim right?

See what I mean when I say self care isn’t just bubble baths

And massages?

Sometimes its doing this work

Learning how to say no

Setting boundaries from love 

It’s not always easy 

But let me tell you 

Doing it 

Will change your life 

And speaking of love 

I’m going to close out todays list with the idea

That one of the top things you need to practice 

As you improve your areas of self care

Is self love 

All of the things I’ve discussed today 

The planning of food as fuel

The honoring the commitments to yourself 

The  having your own back

The thought work

The setting boundaries 

All of that 

Is building the relationship you have with yourself 

Taking the time to take care of yourself 

Taking the time to love yourself 

How many of you really love yourself?

It’s so much easier to just beat ourselves up

Loving yourself 

That’s not alway easy 

Try this 

Try looking in the mirror

Saying I love you 

Yes – I know – it sounds a little funny right?

Make eye contact 

With yourself 

And say I love you 

Maybe go crazy and give yourself a little wink 

While you are at it..lol..

Do that often

Because my friends 

Loving yourself 

Really is an inside job

And the more you do it 

The more likely you are to prioritize your life 

In a way 

That allows you to excel in your career 

And be able to do more of what you want 

Without the stress and overwhelm

And that 

is a magical place 

I hope you join me!

And if you are ready to do more of this work one on one

I just opened some spots for free consult calls this month

Head over to michellebourquecoaching.com/consult to get on the schedule 

It’s a no obligation call

We discuss where you are 

Where you want to be 

And if it’s a good fit for us to work together 

No matter what 

You will leave with some new insight 

Ok – that’s what I have for your today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay safe and 

Make it a great day 

Take care!

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