Ep 89 The Importance of The Things You Say
EPISODE NOTES:
In today’s episode I am discussing the most important words ever said. Listen today to find out why what you say to yourself is so crucial to creating the life you want to live. This is not an “airy fairy” way to think – it’s the integral work you do recognizing the the small sentences you say to yourself daily which give you the results you have.
IN THIS EPISODE:
- The importance of what you say
- How to become aware of the sentences
- How to change the self talk
- How to create new results
- The importance of curiosity and compassion
- Join our private online community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/itsyourtimeownyourlife/?ref=share
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Hello hello hello
How is everyone doing today?
I am so excited
I have this week to work
And next week we start vacation
I’ll be honest
I had a bit
of a heavy heart
Because we won’t be going to our normal place
We love Nantucket
But – to be safe
We are going to be staying home
And you know what
Marc has actually come up with some fun ideas
For us to do here
So
even though we won’t be at the ocean
We are still going to have a great vacation
And if you guys know anything from what I talk about here
You know
Its not the ocean that makes me so happy
It’s all my amazing thoughts about the ocean
That make me feel so good
Right?
It really is pretty interesting
Think about it
Before you go on vacation
You usually have all these thoughts about how great it is going to be
So for me
I think about how much I love running on the beach
And how I love to watch the sun come up and take pictures
Or how I think I feel so inspired when I’m there
And that feels so amazing
But the ocean is not in front of me when
I’m thinking about all of that
Before vacation
So it’s not the ocean – it really is my thoughts
And let’s be honest
I think sometimes our thoughts leading up to vacation
Are sometimes even better than vacation..lol..
It’s such a trip right?
ahhahaha.. no pun intended
But really think about how that works
Ok
Enough vacation talk
And if we can’t dive into the ocean
Let’s dive into todays episode lol
Today I want to talk to you about the most
Important words ever to be said
Do you know what they are?
Ok –
lean in
and listen
They are the words you say to yourself
Take that in
And really hear me
Because it is so important
The most important words are the ones you say to yourself
And friends
A lot of times
We don’t have kind things to say to ourselves
And that needs to stop
But first
You have to become aware
of what it is
you are saying to yourself
Let me share a story with you so you can get an idea
Of what I mean
Because I think the idea of
the words you say to yourself are so important
Is great
But it almost might be a little airy fairy
And I want you to know how insidious it can actually be
Like at a micro level
Where you don’t even recognize it
And you need to recognize it
In order to change it
So this is what it looked like for me this morning
And yes – trust me
I do all this work
Daily
My friends
The human brain is amazing
And the human primitive brain
Well – reminds me of my dog
When he is running around like a crazy pup
Chasing his ball
Almost taking me out at the knees
Sometimes a little batshit crazy
Just having fun …lol…
But you need to get that under control
And the training comes from you
From you managing with your more evolved brain
Your pre frontal cortex
Got it?
Ok
So this morning
Actually let me start with last night
You know each night I plan my workout for the next day
I pick the exact Peloton Classes I am taking
And that makes it easy in the morning
No wasted time
Deciding what I “feel” like doing
I can just get going
But when I woke up today
I felt kinda off
And let me be clear
It wasn’t sick
I know the difference for me
And in those instances
If I’m really feeling sick
I will take some time to rest
But this was just kinda off
And my brain hopped on that opportunity
Like a runaway train with Keanu Reeves on it
Or wait – that was a bus right? lol..
Anyhow –
It offered me the following:
You know – you might want to take today off
You know – you have been spinning a lot lately – you should do a rest day
You know – you have some work to do before vacation – you could use the extra time
You know – you likely won’t have a great ride so why bother
THATS it my friends
Those are some of the little sentences
that are so important
For you to be on to yourself
Because let’s play it out
Let’s say you take the day off from working out
And you do the work
Where does that leave you?
Well I know for me
I really need the endorphins
Working out truly allows me to feel better
So if I don’t work out –
I know I’m not going to feel any better
I know the next time I get on the scale there could be an increase
And then I have the opportunity to be myself up for that
And if I do the work
Then I feel like a victim to the job
Because I never have time for myself
And work takes all my time
That is such an oldie but goodie that runs in my brain at times
And guess what?
It might not be my best workout
But trust me
Getting my butt on the bike and doing something
Is always better than nothing
Our perfectionist brains love to tell us
If it can’t be perfect don’t bother
So messed up right?
But see how that happens?
Seems like such a little innocent thought
Just take the day off
And again – I’m not saying if you are really sick
To just power through
You understand the difference right?
Now –
here’s what I think
Might be even more profound in this example
When you take the day off
Because in the moment you don’t really “feel” like doing it
You know what happens?
You discount the commitment you made to yourself the day before
You discount what your evolved brain had planned for you
Knowing it was exactly what your future self needed
When you act on the immediate pleasure
You miss out on the long lasting goals
The goals You truly desire
When you don’t honor the commitments you make to yourself
You lose out on the opportunity to build that relationship you have with yourself
And that my friends is EVERYTHING
The relationship you have with yourself
Is what allows you to show up
As your best version
Not only to create the life you want
But also to serve the world
In whatever way you want
Maybe as a professional
Or a mom
Or a volunteer
All of it
And these
What seem like such small decisions
To workout or not
Is everything
Because small increments over time
Leads to big changes
So think about where you will be
If over and over you listen to the voice that says you can’t
Vs
Purposefully telling yourself you can
And then you do
And listen
This is just one example
This thinking spreads like wildfire
Because how you do one thing is how you do everything
So for you maybe its
Making or missing the one last call you had planned
Or eating exactly what is on your food plan or not
Or drinking exactly how much alcohol you said you would or not
Or truly disconnecting on vacation when you said you would or not
It all adds up
Now – I will give you a tip
When you first start
You might not be fully aware until after the event
So you might not realize until after you make the decision
That’s totally ok
Brining the awareness is the key
So what I mean is
Let’s keep with my example
Let’s say you didn’t workout and instead I did the work
After you complete the work you might realize
Oh – that was an opportunity for me to honor my plan
I didn’t
And then get curious
Why do you think you didn’t stick to it?
And then the next time
You might realize it a little sooner
So you might be doing the work
And think – oh –
I missed that opportunity to stick to my plan
I wonder what was going on
And then
The next time
You will be where I was this morning
I noticed it before
And I didn’t listen to that primitive brain of mine
I simply reminded myself
I know how good I feel at the end of the workout
And I reminded myself
I want to workout to be healthy
Gentle reminders – be kind to yourself friends
And then just do it
And
An additional benefit to doing this is
You now have evidence to show yourself
You take care of yourself
You do what you say you will
I want this for all of you
It’s work friends
It doesn’t just happen overnight
So you have to stay curious
And compassionate
Novel idea here –
say nice things to yourself
You are figuring it out
You are learning new ways
It’s all good
Because –
It really is
And look at that
One last benefit for me today?
I had the opportunity to share it here with you
Which you know I love doing
Now – this week
I really want to encourage you to pay attention
to how you talk to yourself
Are you saying things that are moving you forward
Like towards your goals
If not – start doing so
What you have to say is everything
Make sure it’s useful
And if this resonates
I want to invite you to join my free
Private facebook community
It’s where we do so much of this work
Being able to learn the tools to excel in your life
But without the stress and overwhelm
So you can do more of what you want
Just go to www.michellebourquecoaching.com/itsyourtime
To join
So much fun!
Ok – that’s what I have for you today
Lets circle back next week
But for now
Stay healthy
And make it a great day
Take care!
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