Ep 89 The Importance of The Things You Say

Posted July 8, 2020

EPISODE NOTES:

In today’s episode I am discussing the most important words ever said. Listen today to find out why what you say to yourself is so crucial to creating the life you want to live. This is not an “airy fairy” way to think – it’s the integral work you do recognizing the the small sentences you say to yourself daily which give you the results you have.

IN THIS EPISODE:

The importance of what you say
How to become aware of the sentences
How to change the self talk
How to create new results
The importance of curiosity and compassion
Join our private online community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/itsyourtimeownyourlife/?ref=share

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello hello hello

How is everyone doing today?

I am so excited

I have this week to work

And next week we start vacation

I’ll be honest

I had a bit

of a heavy heart

Because we won’t be going to our normal place

We love Nantucket

But – to be safe

We are going to be staying home

And you know what

Marc has actually come up with some fun ideas

For us to do here

even though we won’t be at the ocean

We are still going to have a great vacation

And if you guys know anything from what I talk about here

You know

Its not the ocean that makes me so happy

It’s all my amazing thoughts about the ocean

That make me feel so good

Right?

It really is pretty interesting

Think about it

Before you go on vacation

You usually have all these thoughts about how great it is going to be

So for me

I think about how much I love running on the beach

And how I love to watch the sun come up and take pictures

Or how I think I feel so inspired when I’m there

And that feels so amazing

But the ocean is not in front of me when

I’m thinking about all of that

Before vacation

So it’s not the ocean – it really is my thoughts

And let’s be honest

I think sometimes our thoughts leading up to vacation

Are sometimes even better than vacation..lol..

It’s such a trip right?

ahhahaha.. no pun intended

But really think about how that works

Enough vacation talk

And if we can’t dive into the ocean

Let’s dive into todays episode lol

Today I want to talk to you about the most

Important words ever to be said

Do you know what they are?

Ok –

lean in

and listen

They are the words you say to yourself

Take that in

And really hear me

Because it is so important

The most important words are the ones you say to yourself

And friends

A lot of times

We don’t have kind things to say to ourselves

And that needs to stop

But first

You have to become aware

of what it is

you are saying to yourself

Let me share a story with you so you can get an idea

Of what I mean

Because I think the idea of

the words you say to yourself are so important

Is great

But it almost might be a little airy fairy

And I want you to know how insidious it can actually be

Like at a micro level

Where you don’t even recognize it

And you need to recognize it

In order to change it

So this is what it looked like for me this morning

And yes – trust me

I do all this work

Daily

My friends

The human brain is amazing

And the human primitive brain

Well – reminds me of my dog

When he is running around like a crazy pup

Chasing his ball

Almost taking me out at the knees

Sometimes a little batshit crazy

Just having fun …lol…

But you need to get that under control

And the training comes from you

From you managing with your more evolved brain

Your pre frontal cortex

Got it?

So this morning

Actually let me start with last night

You know each night I plan my workout for the next day

I pick the exact Peloton Classes I am taking

And that makes it easy in the morning

No wasted time

Deciding what I “feel” like doing

I can just get going

But when I woke up today

I felt kinda off

And let me be clear

It wasn’t sick

I know the difference for me

And in those instances

If I’m really feeling sick

I will take some time to rest

But this was just kinda off

And my brain hopped on that opportunity

Like a runaway train with Keanu Reeves on it

Or wait – that was a bus right? lol..

Anyhow –

It offered me the following:

You know – you might want to take today off

You know – you have been spinning a lot lately – you should do a rest day

You know – you have some work to do before vacation – you could use the extra time

You know – you likely won’t have a great ride so why bother

THATS it my friends

Those are some of the little sentences

that are so important

For you to be on to yourself

Because let’s play it out

Let’s say you take the day off from working out

And you do the work

Where does that leave you?

Well I know for me

I really need the endorphins

Working out truly allows me to feel better

So if I don’t work out –

I know I’m not going to feel any better

I know the next time I get on the scale there could be an increase

And then I have the opportunity to be myself up for that

And if I do the work

Then I feel like a victim to the job

Because I never have time for myself

And work takes all my time

That is such an oldie but goodie that runs in my brain at times

And guess what?

It might not be my best workout

But trust me

Getting my butt on the bike and doing something

Is always better than nothing

Our perfectionist brains love to tell us

If it can’t be perfect don’t bother

So messed up right?

But see how that happens?

Seems like such a little innocent thought

Just take the day off

And again – I’m not saying if you are really sick

To just power through

You understand the difference right?

Now –

here’s what I think

Might be even more profound in this example

When you take the day off

Because in the moment you don’t really “feel” like doing it

You know what happens?

You discount the commitment you made to yourself the day before

You discount what your evolved brain had planned for you

Knowing it was exactly what your future self needed

When you act on the immediate pleasure

You miss out on the long lasting goals

The goals You truly desire

When you don’t honor the commitments you make to yourself

You lose out on the opportunity to build that relationship you have with yourself

And that my friends is EVERYTHING

The relationship you have with yourself

Is what allows you to show up

As your best version

Not only to create the life you want

But also to serve the world

In whatever way you want

Maybe as a professional

Or a mom

Or a volunteer

All of it

And these

What seem like such small decisions

To workout or not

Is everything

Because small increments over time

Leads to big changes

So think about where you will be

If over and over you listen to the voice that says you can’t

Purposefully telling yourself you can

And then you do

And listen

This is just one example

This thinking spreads like wildfire

Because how you do one thing is how you do everything

So for you maybe its

Making or missing the one last call you had planned

Or eating exactly what is on your food plan or not

Or drinking exactly how much alcohol you said you would or not

Or truly disconnecting on vacation when you said you would or not

It all adds up

Now – I will give you a tip

When you first start

You might not be fully aware until after the event

So you might not realize until after you make the decision

That’s totally ok

Brining the awareness is the key

So what I mean is

Let’s keep with my example

Let’s say you didn’t workout and instead I did the work

After you complete the work you might realize

Oh – that was an opportunity for me to honor my plan

I didn’t

And then get curious

Why do you think you didn’t stick to it?

And then the next time

You might realize it a little sooner

So you might be doing the work

And think – oh –

I missed that opportunity to stick to my plan

I wonder what was going on

And then

The next time

You will be where I was this morning

I noticed it before

And I didn’t listen to that primitive brain of mine

I simply reminded myself

I know how good I feel at the end of the workout

And I reminded myself

I want to workout to be healthy

Gentle reminders – be kind to yourself friends

And then just do it

And

An additional benefit to doing this is

You now have evidence to show yourself

You take care of yourself

You do what you say you will

I want this for all of you

It’s work friends

It doesn’t just happen overnight

So you have to stay curious

And compassionate

Novel idea here –

say nice things to yourself

You are figuring it out

You are learning new ways

It’s all good

Because –

It really is

And look at that

One last benefit for me today?

I had the opportunity to share it here with you

Which you know I love doing

Now – this week

I really want to encourage you to pay attention

to how you talk to yourself

Are you saying things that are moving you forward

Like towards your goals

If not – start doing so

What you have to say is everything

Make sure it’s useful

And if this resonates

I want to invite you to join my free

Private facebook community

It’s where we do so much of this work

Being able to learn the tools to excel in your life

But without the stress and overwhelm

So you can do more of what you want

Just go to www.michellebourquecoaching.com/itsyourtime

To join

So much fun!

Ok – that’s what I have for you today

Lets circle back next week

But for now

Stay healthy

And make it a great day

Take care!

Ep 89 The Importance of The Things You Say

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