Ep 85 The 3 Components to Change

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Change is the one constant in life, and in today’s episode I want to talk to you about the three components that will help you make lasting change.  Awareness is always the first step.  Once you become aware of what you are currently thinking you will need curiosity and compassion.  Listen now to learn more about how the three work together.   


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Hello hello hello

Welcome back to the podcast my friends 

What is going on in your world?

I’m happy to say – today – as I record this

Is the first day we can go to out door dining where we are 

Holy smokes 

The things we take for granted right?

You guys remember me telling you my word for this year?


Well I must say 

The universe has sure served me up 

Multiple opportunities for some clarity this year

Which you know what

Has actually been quite enlightening 

I bet for a lot of you too right

I don’t imagine us going back to anything 

Close to what normal used to be 

Change is a happening for sure

And today I want to talk to you 

About two – actually 3 

Of what I think the most important 

Components of change are 

So lets dive in

First – and I’ve said this multiple times before 

And it applies to ANY changes we are looking to make in our lives 

First we must become aware

Awareness is always the fist step

We need to know what we are currently thinking 

Because our current thinking is giving us our current results 

But we are all so busy 

And running around all day 

Usually taking care of everyone else

That most of the time

We don’t even know what we are thinking 

We just think – this is the way life is right now

We have about 60,000 thoughts a day 

So on average that’s about 2500-3300 an hour

Do you really think you know what all of those are?

OMG – no

But it all plays into our current life situation 

And – when we don’t even realize what we are thinking 

We have no way to no what limits we put on ourselves

Let me share something I just started doing with you 

I was reading the book Limitless by Jim Kwik

And in it he suggested brushing your teeth 

With the opposite hand

In order to improve focus

Let me tell you 

For the first week 

I totally forgot I wanted to do it…lol..

And then I started doing it 

And you REALLY have to focus

It feels so weird

And – maybe TMI  

But it was a hot mess from my mouth to my elbow..lol..

You know what was so fascinating?

It made me realize 

How much chatter normally goes on in my brain

When I just brush with my dominant hand 

You know what I mean 

As you brush you run through maybe what you did wrong last night

What you have to do today 

The work project you are dreading 

And it just hums in the background

A lot of what we just unconsciously think 

Comes from beliefs we grew up with 

Remember – when I talk about beliefs 

I mean thoughts that we have thought 

So many times 

They are just now beliefs 

They we believe to be truth

And that is often 

Where we limit ourselves the most 

And find it hard to change 

I read this quote from 

Colette Baron Reid in Uncharted: 

The Journey Through Uncertainty to Infinite Possibility.

“The subconscious is a powerful part of who you are 

and its job is to keep you in the familiar 

even if it doesn’t work anymore. 

Your awakened choices are made with present-moment awareness. 

They are conscious choices,”

So what she is saying is 

In a sense, your subconscious mind 

and your actions are the result of your biology, 

past conditioning and your environment.

And when you aren’t aware of that you just keep 

Going and going

And friends 

This is why so many of you say 

Your feel stuck in life 

Once you start becoming aware of what you are thinking 

You get to decide if you want to continue thinking that 

Let me give you just a couple of quick examples 

You might you have no control over your schedule 

You think that every single day 

You think you are just telling me the facts of life 

Oh – lol.. I used to love that show..lol..

Ok – so you are just telling me how it is 

So you think

Or maybe you think you can never lose weight 

You have never been able to 

Or you can’t cut back on drinking 

Here is what I want to tell you 

None of that is factual 

It is a story you are making up 

And we all make up stories right 

We all put meaning to circumstances in our life 

But when you think things like you have no control,

You never lose weight

You can’t cut back 

And you are not aware they are thoughts 

You won’t make the changes 

So instead what I suggest is 

First do a thought download 

Take 5 minutes in the morning 

And empty out your brain 

I tend to like doing a general dumping of my brain

But if there is a Circumstance – like the number on the scale

Your calendar 

The number of drinks you had last night 

You can also be specific 

Just start writing 

You can even start with 

Michelle is crazy 

I don’t understand why I’m doing this 

And then just keep going..lol..

You will be surprised at what comes out 

Getting it out on the paper 

Getting it out on paper allows you the first step

Of becoming aware of what you are thinking 

You guys – this can be used for any circumstance in life 

Get all of it out 

See – a lot times we think we ARE our thoughts 

That’s not the case 

We are simply thinking thoughts

It does not make them 

who we are 

And we become aware of that 

We have the chance to change them 

Now – the next parts of the equation

Curiosity and compassion 

Sometimes when we start seeing what we are thinking 

We immediately judge it 

Totally normal 


Our brain is always looking for the negative 

Its wired that way 

So we need to intentionally 

Do this work 

From curiosity 

And with compassion 

For ourselves 

If you don’t 

You slow down the process to make change

Think about how often you beat yourself up 

As you do that you don’t make changes right?

Because your so busy beating yourself up

So instead 

Just get curious 

Sometimes I just like to say 

Oh – that’s super interesting 

I wonder why I was thinking that 


Oh – interesting 

That’s something I heard when I was younger

I guess I never questioned it 

Ok – 

I wonder what I could start thinking instead 

And compassion 



For yourself 

Think about if a girlfriend came to you

And said 

You know -I just realized I have been telling myself 

I have no control over my time 

And I actually started looking around 

And seeing where I do control my time 

You wouldn’t say to her

Are you kidding me ?

How long did it take  you to finally get that?

Such an idiot 

You would be so much more ahead 

If you realized that sooner..lol..

No – but our brains like to 

Say that crap to us right?

Here’s the other benefit 

Of starting to build your awareness

You start getting more present in your life

You start realizing 

How often you go to the past 

How often you are trying to get to a better future 


Its not better in the future 

lol.. we tell ourselves that 

But if you told yourself it will be better when you make more money 

Or lose the weight 

Or drink less 

And then if you actually do 

It’s not better 

Because if you are like me 

A lot of times your telling yourself

Something still isn’t enough

And you start chasing that idea

That it will be better 

So its not 

You have today 

Start becoming aware of what you are thinking 

In this moment 

Decide if the thinking is useful

Does it bring you the results you want in your life 

If not 

Start getting curious as to what you could change 

In order to get new results 

And if you are ready to do this 

Lets get on a call 

It’s doesn’t cost you anything 

We get on 

We chat about 

Where you are now 

Look at the problems you are having 

And decide together if what I do 

Would be helpful for you

No obligation 

Whether we continue or not 

You will gain some new insight and perspective 

So much fun 

Just go to michellebourquecoaching.com/fwork with me 

The link will be in the notes 

And lets get started 

Ok – that’s what I have for you today 

Lets circle back next week

But for now 

Stay safe and 

Make it great day 

Take care!

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