Ep 84 Gratitude in Challenging Times

EPISODE NOTES:

One thing I really have been reflecting on a lot recently is the idea of gratitude 

I don’t mean – pretend gratitude when you aren’t happy.  I mean a true connection with gratitude – for the brain’s benefit – where you truly focus on what is important to you, and where you feel most prosperous. 

People who regularly practice gratitude, by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. 

So why is it important to take the time to notice?  Listen now to learn more.

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Transcript Notes

Hello hello hello –

How are you all doing today?

Like really.. you know 

It’s ok if you are not ok

There is a lot going on in the world

And it doesn’t even have to be the world events

I’m talking about your specific life events 

For example – we lost a dear family member over the weekend

And within my work community there was a tragic loss 

We all have something right?

The thing is 

You get to decide how you want to feel in each instance 

And sometimes it is just ok to say 

You know what 

This is the part of life that kinda sucks

And that’s ok

I’m telling you – that statement alone

Can be so helpful

I’m feeling sad 

And that’s ok 

Or 

Im feeling angry 

And that’s ok

Its so interesting right 

Think back to when you were a kid

Or even maybe with kids today as well

The idea that when we – they – start crying 

We are so quick to say – oh here – take this – stop crying

And I think a lot of us are conditioned that way 

I mean..

Maybe it’s just me – but crying

Not always my cup of tea..lol..

I’m learning 

So if you are being honest with yourself

And you want to feel sad 

Know – it’s totally ok

It allows you to process the emotions 

And be able to move to the next stage 

Vs 

Trying to resist resist resist 

And that just adds a second layer of feeling negative 

And even with that 

Negative this connotation 

Its really just being willing 

To feel all the feels 

Ok – so with that 

One thing I really have been reflecting on a lot recently 

And wanted to chat with you about

Is the idea of gratitude 

I don’t mean – 

Pretend gratitude when you aren’t happy 

And I mean a true connection with gratitude 

For the brain benefits 

Where you truly focus on what is important to you

And where you feel prosperous 

People who regularly practice gratitude 

by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for 

experience more positive emotions, 

feel more alive, 

sleep better, 

express more compassion and kindness, 

and even have stronger immune systems. 

So why is it important to take the time to notice

Our brain loves to find evidence for what we believe to be true

So if we are finding things in our life that we are grateful for

Guess what?

You will find more of it

It might seem a little woo woo 

But you know what 

It’s true 

It’s goes in line with Hebb’s Law – 

Which states 

Neurons that fire together 

Wire together 

Think about the days when it seems like everything is going wrong

And you tell yourself 

OMG – this day is terrible

Nothing is going right

And the day continues to be one thing after another 

There is another option to think on those days

And trust me 

I’ve been there 

And it still happens

But if I can manage my mind

And stop

Take a breath

And ask myself 

Ok – what can I do to turn this around

Well then I’m looking for that evidence 

Our brains are designed to look for the negative 

It was how we survived back in the day 

So – for some of us

The idea of the neurons that fire together 

Wire together 

I want you to think about a super highway

You might have a thought that is so easy to go to 

Speeding up as an option for you

But the work when you begin this is taking the pause

And getting to a new thought

Might seem like an old 

Bumpy

Country 

Road 

You know what I mean?

It can be so easy to see how terrible things are going

But if you are here

I know you want to make some changes 

It might not come to you right away 

But the beauty is in

Knowing you keep coming back for more

Showing up for yourself 

And making the shifts 

And 

Let me take a step back

I like to take the time in the morning 

Even before my self coaching 

To write 5 things in my gratitude journal 

5 things I am grateful for from the day before usually 

Some people like to end the day with this practice 

I just prefer to set my brain in that direction in the morning 

You know what – 

A lot of times it actually things that don’t even cost money

Like time on the patio with Marc

Or being able to have an easy dinner at home 

And of course

Well you guys know – 

the pup gets in there a lot ..lol..

And we know our brains love dopamine hits right?

A lot of times in life 

That looks like cookies,

wine, 

Shopping 

Porn 

Whatever it is for you

But gratitude also gives you a hit 

And your brain will want more of it

So I suggest a daily practice of finding 3-5 things you are grateful for 

You know what’s fun?

Going back and reading years ago 

What you might have been grateful for

You guys know another thing?

There was a day you prayed for what you have 

Think about that 

Going along with 

You find evidence for what you look for 

We have this back porch on our house 

And when we first moved in I thought it would be cute

But somewhere along the lines I started calling it 

Our dumping grounds

You know 

The dog leash

Recyclables 

Maybe toss the garbage there before it gets outside 

And it really was not enjoyable 

I really did not appreciate it

But with Covid 

You know 

We’ve had some trips cancel

And one of the things I love about a place we stay at in the summer

Is this great 3 season room

Here’s the thing

Although its not as big as the vacation one

The room I called the dumping grounds 

Is totally a 3 season room

So I started calling it a sunporch – and then a sunroom

And guess what 

It is now all cleaned up 

I am writing my notes for this as I sit in it with the pup

And it has totally changed my attitwitue towards it 

I am so grateful to have

 So I want to ask you 

What do you have 

Right under your nose 

That maybe you haven’t realized the benefit it 

That maybe 

If you shifted to a little more gratitude towards it 

You would see it in an entirely new light?

And what about people in your life?

I think sometimes the ones we love the most 

We totally take for granted 

Acknowledging them 

Showing appreciation

Not only provides them with some nice recognition 

But remember 

Who feels the feelings?

YOU do 

So you feeling gratitude 

Helps you

So what I want to leave you with today 

If you can – 

And I know you can 

If you want to 

Do the work to rewire your brain 

And find even more gratitude 

For what you already have in life

You are going to see differences 

Differences in how you show up

Differences in how you see others 

It is truly one emotion 

That as you become more abundant with it

You find even more abundance 

And you know what 

If we can spread abundance and gratitude 

I promise you 

So many people will benefit 

And when you are ready 

I have my 3 month 1:1 coaching program open

We work privately 

And specifically on the goals you want to accomplish

For many people that’s the work 

Of taking control of your time 

Doing more of what you want

Not always feeling like its never enough

Or guilty because you think you should

Or shouldn’t 

Be doing something 

Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/workwithme

We hop on a call to confirm it’s a good fit 

And then we get after it

Listen –

We are in June friends 

6 month’s in to what many 

Think has been quite the year

But its not over

You get to finish how you want

Let’s do this!

Ok – that’s what I have for you today

Lets circle back next week

But for now 

Make it a great day

Take care1