Ep 84 Gratitude in Challenging Times
EPISODE NOTES:
One thing I really have been reflecting on a lot recently is the idea of gratitude
I don’t mean – pretend gratitude when you aren’t happy. I mean a true connection with gratitude – for the brain’s benefit – where you truly focus on what is important to you, and where you feel most prosperous.
People who regularly practice gratitude, by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.
So why is it important to take the time to notice? Listen now to learn more.
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Transcript Notes
Hello hello hello –
How are you all doing today?
Like really.. you know
It’s ok if you are not ok
There is a lot going on in the world
And it doesn’t even have to be the world events
I’m talking about your specific life events
For example – we lost a dear family member over the weekend
And within my work community there was a tragic loss
We all have something right?
The thing is
You get to decide how you want to feel in each instance
And sometimes it is just ok to say
You know what
This is the part of life that kinda sucks
And that’s ok
I’m telling you – that statement alone
Can be so helpful
I’m feeling sad
And that’s ok
Or
Im feeling angry
And that’s ok
Its so interesting right
Think back to when you were a kid
Or even maybe with kids today as well
The idea that when we – they – start crying
We are so quick to say – oh here – take this – stop crying
And I think a lot of us are conditioned that way
I mean..
Maybe it’s just me – but crying
Not always my cup of tea..lol..
I’m learning
So if you are being honest with yourself
And you want to feel sad
Know – it’s totally ok
It allows you to process the emotions
And be able to move to the next stage
Vs
Trying to resist resist resist
And that just adds a second layer of feeling negative
And even with that
Negative this connotation
Its really just being willing
To feel all the feels
Ok – so with that
One thing I really have been reflecting on a lot recently
And wanted to chat with you about
Is the idea of gratitude
I don’t mean –
Pretend gratitude when you aren’t happy
And I mean a true connection with gratitude
For the brain benefits
Where you truly focus on what is important to you
And where you feel prosperous
People who regularly practice gratitude
by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for
experience more positive emotions,
feel more alive,
sleep better,
express more compassion and kindness,
and even have stronger immune systems.
So why is it important to take the time to notice
Our brain loves to find evidence for what we believe to be true
So if we are finding things in our life that we are grateful for
Guess what?
You will find more of it
It might seem a little woo woo
But you know what
It’s true
It’s goes in line with Hebb’s Law –
Which states
Neurons that fire together
Wire together
Think about the days when it seems like everything is going wrong
And you tell yourself
OMG – this day is terrible
Nothing is going right
And the day continues to be one thing after another
There is another option to think on those days
And trust me
I’ve been there
And it still happens
But if I can manage my mind
And stop
Take a breath
And ask myself
Ok – what can I do to turn this around
Well then I’m looking for that evidence
Our brains are designed to look for the negative
It was how we survived back in the day
So – for some of us
The idea of the neurons that fire together
Wire together
I want you to think about a super highway
You might have a thought that is so easy to go to
Speeding up as an option for you
But the work when you begin this is taking the pause
And getting to a new thought
Might seem like an old
Bumpy
Country
Road
You know what I mean?
It can be so easy to see how terrible things are going
But if you are here
I know you want to make some changes
It might not come to you right away
But the beauty is in
Knowing you keep coming back for more
Showing up for yourself
And making the shifts
And
Let me take a step back
I like to take the time in the morning
Even before my self coaching
To write 5 things in my gratitude journal
5 things I am grateful for from the day before usually
Some people like to end the day with this practice
I just prefer to set my brain in that direction in the morning
You know what –
A lot of times it actually things that don’t even cost money
Like time on the patio with Marc
Or being able to have an easy dinner at home
And of course
Well you guys know –
the pup gets in there a lot ..lol..
And we know our brains love dopamine hits right?
A lot of times in life
That looks like cookies,
wine,
Shopping
Porn
Whatever it is for you
But gratitude also gives you a hit
And your brain will want more of it
So I suggest a daily practice of finding 3-5 things you are grateful for
You know what’s fun?
Going back and reading years ago
What you might have been grateful for
You guys know another thing?
There was a day you prayed for what you have
Think about that
Going along with
You find evidence for what you look for
We have this back porch on our house
And when we first moved in I thought it would be cute
But somewhere along the lines I started calling it
Our dumping grounds
You know
The dog leash
Recyclables
Maybe toss the garbage there before it gets outside
And it really was not enjoyable
I really did not appreciate it
But with Covid
You know
We’ve had some trips cancel
And one of the things I love about a place we stay at in the summer
Is this great 3 season room
Here’s the thing
Although its not as big as the vacation one
The room I called the dumping grounds
Is totally a 3 season room
So I started calling it a sunporch – and then a sunroom
And guess what
It is now all cleaned up
I am writing my notes for this as I sit in it with the pup
And it has totally changed my attitwitue towards it
I am so grateful to have
So I want to ask you
What do you have
Right under your nose
That maybe you haven’t realized the benefit it
That maybe
If you shifted to a little more gratitude towards it
You would see it in an entirely new light?
And what about people in your life?
I think sometimes the ones we love the most
We totally take for granted
Acknowledging them
Showing appreciation
Not only provides them with some nice recognition
But remember
Who feels the feelings?
YOU do
So you feeling gratitude
Helps you
So what I want to leave you with today
If you can –
And I know you can
If you want to
Do the work to rewire your brain
And find even more gratitude
For what you already have in life
You are going to see differences
Differences in how you show up
Differences in how you see others
It is truly one emotion
That as you become more abundant with it
You find even more abundance
And you know what
If we can spread abundance and gratitude
I promise you
So many people will benefit
And when you are ready
I have my 3 month 1:1 coaching program open
We work privately
And specifically on the goals you want to accomplish
For many people that’s the work
Of taking control of your time
Doing more of what you want
Not always feeling like its never enough
Or guilty because you think you should
Or shouldn’t
Be doing something
Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/workwithme
We hop on a call to confirm it’s a good fit
And then we get after it
Listen –
We are in June friends
6 month’s in to what many
Think has been quite the year
But its not over
You get to finish how you want
Let’s do this!
Ok – that’s what I have for you today
Lets circle back next week
But for now
Make it a great day
Take care1