Ep 82 The Importance of the Decisions You Make

 

This is such a great topic.  The decisions you make today will be the results you see tomorrow.

You know something?  Every decision is optional.  What I mean is – everything in your life is a choice – even if it doesn’t feel like it.  I can not tell you how important this statement is and how much it has changed my life.  It was the quote on my nameplate from Brooke Castillo when I went through certified training with the Life Coach School, and I did not realize at the time how much my life would change knowing this – and that’s why I share it with you.  So many of the women I work with feel like that ‘have’ to do – all the things.  For me it was all the  work “have-tos’ and I use quotes now, but at the time it felt like a fact for SURE.  It sometimes caused me to feel super resentful, like nothing was ever enough,  and like I could never do anything I wanted to.

Anyone relate?

I’m guessing yes. 

That’s why today I’m talking about the importance of the decisions you make, how you always have the opportunity to change the decisions you make and how looking at your decisions can change your life.

IN THIS EPISODE:

• New Private Facebook Group – join here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/itsyourtimeownyourlife/?ref=share
• Jim Kwik – Kwik Learning – Limitless: https://www.limitlessbook.com
• All decisions are optional
• The importance of making decisions powerfully
• The problem with not making a decsion
• No right or wrong decision 
• The power of re-deciding 
• Creating new results in your life quickly

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SCRIPT NOTES

Hello hello hello –

How his everyone doing today?

It’s finally getting nice out in NY – I love this weather

We have been able to spend some time on the back porch

We are in an area that is still in NY Pause – 

at least until the end of the month 

So I am super grateful that we have space 

Its been super interesting to me

I was speaking to Marc last night 

And really just recognizing 

how many things we took for granted

Going to our favorite local restaurant each weekend

Just running in to the store to grab dinner 

If we weren’t doing hello fresh

Marc used to just stop each day 

No more of that 

But I think this pause 

has also provided an opportunity 

To self reflect 

And to look at what is really important 

I mean honestly 

Without your health 

There is nothing 

And I mean mental and physical health

Because we know some people

Many people 

Have been suffering from Corona brain right?

The anxiety and stress 

And we know that in turn

Will wreck havoc with your physical health

So – that’s why we are here right?

To help improve your mental health 

To be able to do more of what you want 

And by the way 

Not feel guilty about it

We have this one life 

Let’s decide to live it as we choose

Oh – and before I jump into todays topic

Which by the way is the importance of the 

Making decisions 

I want to first remind you

I’ve created a private facebook group

Where we take this work to a deeper level

If you are someone who is constantly feeling like 

Nothing is ever enough

And you are running all around for others

This is for you

It’s called It’s Your Time 

And we are doing some teaching

And coaching and networking 

And learning all the new skills you need

To own your life

Listen – It’s your time 

To be able to do more of what you want

And not feel freaking guilty about it 

So head to michellebourquecoaching.com/itsyourtime 

And join us there 

Reminder – Bourque Bourque 

Ok – now to the importance of decisions 

This is such a great topic

Because the decisions you make today

Will be the results you see later

And you know something?

Every decision is optional 

What I mean is – everything in your life is a choice

Even if it doesn’t feel like it

I can not tell you 

how important this statement is

And how much it has changed my life

It was the quote on my nameplate from Brooke Castillo

When I went through certified training 

With the Life Coach School 

And I did not realize at the time 

how much my life would 

Change knowing this

And that’s why I share it with you

So many of the women I work with 

Feel like that ‘have’ to do 

all the things 

For me it was for sure 

all the  work “have-tos’

And I use air quotes now

But at the time

It felt like a fact for SURE

And one that sometimes caused 

Me to feel super resentful

And like nothing was ever enough 

And like I could never do anything I wanted to

Anyone relate?

lol.. I’m guessing yes 

Here’s the thing

You always get to have the opportunity 

To change the decisions you make

So often we think once we make a decision

We have to stick with it

But that’s not the case

You can always re-decide 

What you want

So let me tell you about this work decision I changed 

Once I understood 

I could change my mind

Like – I could leave the job right?

Once I realized that I was CHOOSING to stay

Well that’s when I realized I had to power

Before I felt like such a victim to it all

And from that place you never initiate change

But once you truly see how in control you are 

You guys – it’s fascinating 

You  start taking actions that give you even more power

You start setting boundaries

Or priorties

Honoring commitments to yourself 

And this doesn’t have to be just work

It can be relationships 

You feel like you decided to be in a marriage 

Re-decide 

Would you do it again?

Own it

And don’t tell yourself stories like 

I would leave but…

No – if you are choosing to stay 

be true 

To the reasons 

why you are choosing to stay

Not because you have to because …

(insert whatever reason you want)

That’s not true 

You don’t have to 

There are reasons you are choosing to

And when you own them 

You have the power

A lot of times the reason you feel stuck In your life

is because you are telling yourself you don’t want something 

Like the job – or the husband 

Its really just a lie you are telling yourself 

When you take the time to think about it

And see the reasons you do want what you have 

That’s where you hold the power 

So the first two take-aways for you are 

1. You always have the choice 
2. You can always redecide. 

In fact – I encourage you to do a little exercise to consider 

What you would redecide to keep 

Or to change 

You do not have to continue to live your life a certain way 

Because of past decisions 

Or because of what others think you should do

You can always change

And I want you to recognize

By not changing something 

You are deciding to keep it 

See that?

Ok – next thing I see 

With my clients 

And sometimes with myself honestly 

We think there is a right or wrong decision 

And you know what happens when we think that?

A lot of times we just sit in indecision 

Because we are afraid we won’t make the right one 

Here’s the thing 

What makes it a right or wrong decision?

Our thoughts about it!

So we make a decision 

And then WE label it good or bad

But what if chose to 

Have our own backs

And support ourselves in the decision we are making 

Beforehand 

No matter what 

And you know what – 

You most likely will gain more knowledge 

Or information 

When you make the decision

And that might lead you to a new decision

But at that point 

it doesn’t have to be labeled 

Right or wrong 

It can just be considered 

knowledge gained 

In fact

The faster you make decisions 

The more knowledge you gain

And the more powerful you feel

Think about the times you procrastinate 

About a decision

Ugh – just feels 

ugh right?

So draining 

Here’s the rule of thumb I like to use with clients 

Do you like your reasons why?

Do you like why you are making your decision

That is so important 

When you don’t like your reasons why 

Then you will typically add another layer 

Of judgement 

Not useful

And did you know 

You get to make a decision 

Just because you want to 

Really – that might be the only reason 

Because you want to 

That concept has taken awhile to sit in 

Because for so many years 

A lot of us have been making decisions 

Based on what we think 

Other people will think about us

Here’s what I’m thinking friends

I’ve been doing that for over 40 years

And the truth is 

I’m not that powerful

And I hate to break it to you

Neither are you

People will think 

What they want to think

And sometimes no amount of us manipulating ourselves 

Will change that 

So I’m trying something new these days

I’m making decisions 

Based on what I want 

I know 

Seems like novel idea to many 

But lets just see what happens shall we?

I wish I knew this info when I was younger

But – it is what it is 

And now I can share it all with you

And hopefully you share with others 

The takeaway here – no right or wrong decision 

Decide to have your own back no matter what 

Ok – let me end with something 

I just learned this weekend 

Let’s say you are telling yourself you are stuck

And you don’t know what to do

Imagine first 

what you would do 

if you did know 

And if you are still telling yourself you are not sure 

This might be helpful to you 

In fact – I think it could also be super helpful

for teams in a work setting as well 

I picked it up from a 10 day course I’m taking 

With Jim Kwik 

He’s now officially 

Another brain coach for me..lol..

Oh – and he could be for you as well

The course came free with the purchase of his book

Limitless

Ok – so in it he discussed the concept 

Of the 6 Thinking Hats

I believe it originated with 

Dr. Edward de Bono

Here’s the nitty gritty 

Of it 

You have a decision to make 

You put these six different hats on

I want you to imagine 

You have a white hat

Kinda like a doctors lab coat 

This is where you consider all of the analytical – 

or logical information 

No emotion 

Once you have that you take off the white hat

And put on a red hat

You can remember red like a heart

This is the hat that allows you to think

from the emotional perspective 

Consider how you feel with the decisions here 

And I want to stop for a second 

Because 

I was doing this on a call over the weekend

And scared came up for the woman 

Pay attention to that 

You guys 

Scared 

doesn’t  always mean stop  

Scared 

might just be 

You are heading in the right direction

Remember – our brain is going to freak out 

About anything new 

Red hat

Pay attention to the emotions 

Next – put on a yellow hat

You can remember yellow like the sun

This is the optimist hat

Consider everything that could go right

I actually think this is super important 

Because our brain loves to tell us all the terrible things 

So think about best case scenario 

After the yellow hat

You put on a black hat

You can remember the black hat like a judge

This will be the judgmental 

Or critical perspective 

Think about everything that could go wrong 

Once you are done with that 

Put on a green hat 

Green – like grass

This is the growth hat 

Consider all the areas where there could be growth 

Or more options

And ask yourself what are you not considering?

Ok – then the final hat 

is a blue hat

Blue like the sky 

Remember – the sky oversees everything 

This is the manager hat

Now you listen to all the other hats

Have all the different perspectives 

And from there make a final decision 

So much fun – 

it just allows you to see things from different perspectives 

Make the decision powerfully

Have your own back

Make the next decision

Rinse and repeat

Think about how far ahead of the game you are

When you decide, learn, decide

Vs 

Think about, think about, decide

You will have so many more new results in your life 

When you take the first approach 

Thats what we do to live our best life friends 

Decide and 

Own it

Repeat

Ok – that’s what I have for you today

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay healthy 

And make it a great day!

Take care