Ep 79 The Story You Tell

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Transcript:

Hello hello hello

What’s going on today friends? 

Oh – so much over here – we just needed our fiscal year

I have to tell you 

I usually hit the Excedrin 

Well – it’s fake excedrin these days 

because it’s on backorder or something 

But in any case – 

Normally coffee and excedrin to close you the year 

This year – not so much

Such and odd close with everything that’s going on 

So – we look forward to the next year 

And the most important quarter of the year 

Lol – any of you sales people know that truth right? 

It’s the most important quarter 

Until next quarter. Lol 

I can not scene believe I’m heading into my 14th year 

And let me tell you – 

There are a lot of stories over the years 

In fact – one day I want to write a book – lol -oh just you wait lol 

It’s not for today’s discussion 

But I do want to talk to you about the stories you tell yourself 

And of course I’ll be sharing some examples from my life to help you better understand 

So let’s dive in 

One of the things that sparked this idea for today 

Was as I was doing a Peloton ride 

You know I love me some Robin Arzon 

Well she asked 

When you zoom out on your life – 

And look back at this time 

What is the story you want to tell? 

I tho uhhh –  Not only this – 

But what’s the story you tell yourself every single day? 

I know my brain likes to go to things like – 

it’s not enough – 

your not doing enough – 

it will be better once I get “there” … 

and accomplish … (insert anything). 

Can you relate? 

The thing is –

The option to tell yourself you are right where you need to be 

exists. 

The option to tell yourself you do – and have – exactly what is needed 

exists. 

It’s never better “there”. 

You guys – 

We take our brains with us wherever we go – 

and so the thoughts come along for the ride. 

The option to believe you are living your best life in this moment 

exists in this moment 

Let’s work on believing that one right?

doesn’t it seem like so much more fun? 

My coach is always reminding me of this 

And pay attention to how your stories make you feel

Let me share this –

 another area Ive been seeing how 

the story people are telling themselves 

is causing so much suffering 

Is when I hear them say 

Things like – 

I’m so bummed – 

I was supposed to be going on vacation this week

Now take a minute

And listen to that sentence and what Our brain likes to do 

Was 

Past tense

going 

Future tense 

Lol – isn’t that fascinating 

I don’t think you were supposed to be going 

ever 

You know how I know? 

Because your not

You thought you were going 

You planned you were going 

But – it didn’t happen that way 

You were just confused my friend.. lol 

I want you to really see this – 

Because you know how I say we are always in control of our thoughts 

So I’m going to share with you another story

One I told myself for years that was so painful  

I used to think 

I was supposed to be a mom 

I was supposed to in fact 

Get pregnant outside of football season 

Because at the time my husband coached 

And for any of you football people – 

You know – 

No parties 

no marriages 

 No Deaths 

No births 

During the season lol 

And then

It didn’t happen 

I used to think I was going to be 

See that 

An amazing PTA mom 

And when none of that happened 

I made it mean something went terribly wrong 

Can you see areas where you might do this? 

Where you fight with what you think 

Was supposed to be 

Happening 

My friends 

There is no upside to that 

Because here’s the thing 

Thinking something has gone wrong 

Leaves you feeling terrible 

Or some version of that right? 

Maybe sad

Maybe defeated 

But in any of those emotions 

We are not able 

To take positive action 

In order to live the life we actually have 

So for me – 

Using a thought like 

I was just confused 

It was really never going to be that way 

Because listen 

I do believe there are powers that be 

Whatever it is for you – 

God – 

Universe – 

Spirit 

That kinda have a say in what going on lol

In case you haven’t noticed lol 

There are a lot of things we can’t control 

But when we can control our minds 

You guys 

It’s so powerful 

From that point 

You get to make decisions that 

Give you results in the moment 

See the difference? 

Wanna know what else I was supposed to do? 

Lol 

I was supposed to have a wedding party with rainbow dresses

Hahaha – 

Oh you can imagine 

the ladies in my wedding party 

Sure were happy to hear

 I was confused about that too lol 

Ok – another area 

where I want to encourage you

 to pay attention to the story you tell 

Is about your past 

Your past 

only exists 

in the thoughts you are currently

 having about it now 

So when you think about your past 

How do you want to choose to tell the story? 

Remember – our brain loves to go to the negative 

So you could tell a story 

about how your parents got divorced 

When you were young 

And it was terrible 

And you were scarred for life 

And now you can’t hold a relationship

Or – 

You can tell the same circumstance 

Parent got divorced 

And the story could be 

How much you learned

What you want to have in a relationship 

How much stronger it made you 

Like put your brain to work

On finding out how it was perfect for you 

Now – this is. It change the circumstance 

And say – it would’ve been perfect if they stayed together 

It’s – they got divorced – 

Now how was that perfect for me 

See the difference? 

And before I move to the next story –

I also see this with folks 

They tell a story about how they were never able to 

Insert whatever 

They’ve never been able to lose weight 

Or drink less 

Or get a promotion 

Hmmmm 

How do you think those thoughts feel? 

And listen –

You might say –

But it’s true 

I’ve never been able to lose weight 

Ok – 

so what? 

What is useful 

about choosing to tell that story? 

How about something like –

I’m going to figure it out this time 

There is no upside 

to spinning

 in how you never did it before 

See that? 

Let’s go – 

Do it this time 

All the other times brought you to this one 

See the difference in how those thoughts feel? 

It’s everything because your feelings 

Drive your actions 

Which 

Give you your results 

Ok –

Now 

What does that leave us with? 

The future 

What is the story you want to tell about your future? 

You know what I like to do 

I like to think about my future self 

Like – 

what will she be saying 

I’m hoping she thanking me 

For everything I’m doing now 

I think she would be telling me to keep going 

It’s for sure not always perfect 

But just keep going 

And let me be clear because 

When In the beginning I was discussing 

Future plans that didn’t go as planned right? 

So I don’t want to confuse you 

You can still set goals 

You still think about your future self 

You still go after all of that 

But if it doesn’t go entirely as planned 

You don’t argue with that 

See that twist? 

We don’t always know the how 

Of how we are getting to our goals 

We know our goals 

And we keep taking action 

One of the problems is 

We think we need to know the how 

In fact – we often think 

we need to know the how 

Before we start 

And then we just wait 

Because we are not quite clear 

on the how 

Come closer and listen up 

The way you know the how 

Is to start doing something 

You learn real fast if it’s the way or not 

And then you keep going 

Got it? 

Ok my friends 

I have an amazing story about all if you that’s for sure! 

And – I have some great news – 

I have time this week set aside to chat with you 

One on one 

A free consult call where I can tell you 

More specifically how to implement these ideas 

For your life 

Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/work with me to get started 

Ok – that’s what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week  

But for now – 

Stay healthy and make it a great day –

Take care!