Ep 79 The Story You Tell
Ep 79 Notes 4.30 The Story You Tell
Wha story do you tell yourself every single day? I know my brain likes to go to things like – it’s not enough – you’re not doing enough – it will be better once I get “there” … and accomplish … (insert anything).
Can you relate?
The thing is -the option to tell yourself you are right where you need to be exists. The option to tell yourself you do – and have – exactly what is needed exists. It’s never better “there”. We take our brains with us wherever we go – and so the thoughts come along for the ride.
The option to believe you are living your best life in this moment exists in this moment.
Let’s work on believing that one – doesn’t it seem like so much more fun?
IN THIS EPISODE:
* Your daily story
* You were never “supposed” to be going * The story of your past
* The story of what you can/can’t do
* The story of your future
* Living in the present
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Hello hello hello
What’s going on today friends?
Oh – so much over here – we just needed our fiscal year
I have to tell you
I usually hit the Excedrin
Well – it’s fake excedrin these days
because it’s on backorder or something
But in any case –
Normally coffee and excedrin to close you the year
This year – not so much
Such and odd close with everything that’s going on
So – we look forward to the next year
And the most important quarter of the year
Lol – any of you sales people know that truth right?
It’s the most important quarter
Until next quarter. Lol
I can not scene believe I’m heading into my 14th year
And let me tell you –
There are a lot of stories over the years
In fact – one day I want to write a book – lol -oh just you wait lol
It’s not for today’s discussion
But I do want to talk to you about the stories you tell yourself
And of course I’ll be sharing some examples from my life to help you better understand
So let’s dive in
One of the things that sparked this idea for today
Was as I was doing a Peloton ride
You know I love me some Robin Arzon
Well she asked
When you zoom out on your life –
And look back at this time
What is the story you want to tell?
I tho uhhh – Not only this –
But what’s the story you tell yourself every single day?
I know my brain likes to go to things like –
it’s not enough –
your not doing enough –
it will be better once I get “there” …
and accomplish … (insert anything).
Can you relate?
The thing is –
The option to tell yourself you are right where you need to be
The option to tell yourself you do – and have – exactly what is needed
It’s never better “there”.
You guys –
We take our brains with us wherever we go –
and so the thoughts come along for the ride.
The option to believe you are living your best life in this moment
exists in this moment
Let’s work on believing that one right?
doesn’t it seem like so much more fun?
My coach is always reminding me of this
And pay attention to how your stories make you feel
Let me share this –
another area Ive been seeing how
the story people are telling themselves
is causing so much suffering
Is when I hear them say
Things like –
I’m so bummed –
I was supposed to be going on vacation this week
Now take a minute
And listen to that sentence and what Our brain likes to do
Lol – isn’t that fascinating
I don’t think you were supposed to be going
You know how I know?
Because your not
You thought you were going
You planned you were going
But – it didn’t happen that way
You were just confused my friend.. lol
I want you to really see this –
Because you know how I say we are always in control of our thoughts
So I’m going to share with you another story
One I told myself for years that was so painful
I used to think
I was supposed to be a mom
I was supposed to in fact
Get pregnant outside of football season
Because at the time my husband coached
And for any of you football people –
You know –
During the season lol
It didn’t happen
I used to think I was going to be
An amazing PTA mom
And when none of that happened
I made it mean something went terribly wrong
Can you see areas where you might do this?
Where you fight with what you think
Was supposed to be
There is no upside to that
Because here’s the thing
Thinking something has gone wrong
Leaves you feeling terrible
Or some version of that right?
But in any of those emotions
We are not able
To take positive action
In order to live the life we actually have
So for me –
Using a thought like
I was just confused
It was really never going to be that way
I do believe there are powers that be
Whatever it is for you –
That kinda have a say in what going on lol
In case you haven’t noticed lol
There are a lot of things we can’t control
But when we can control our minds
It’s so powerful
From that point
You get to make decisions that
Give you results in the moment
See the difference?
Wanna know what else I was supposed to do?
I was supposed to have a wedding party with rainbow dresses
Oh you can imagine
the ladies in my wedding party
Sure were happy to hear
I was confused about that too lol
Ok – another area
where I want to encourage you
to pay attention to the story you tell
Is about your past
in the thoughts you are currently
having about it now
So when you think about your past
How do you want to choose to tell the story?
Remember – our brain loves to go to the negative
So you could tell a story
about how your parents got divorced
When you were young
And it was terrible
And you were scarred for life
And now you can’t hold a relationship
You can tell the same circumstance
Parent got divorced
And the story could be
How much you learned
What you want to have in a relationship
How much stronger it made you
Like put your brain to work
On finding out how it was perfect for you
Now – this is. It change the circumstance
And say – it would’ve been perfect if they stayed together
It’s – they got divorced –
Now how was that perfect for me
See the difference?
And before I move to the next story –
I also see this with folks
They tell a story about how they were never able to
They’ve never been able to lose weight
Or drink less
Or get a promotion
How do you think those thoughts feel?
And listen –
You might say –
But it’s true
I’ve never been able to lose weight
What is useful
about choosing to tell that story?
How about something like –
I’m going to figure it out this time
There is no upside
in how you never did it before
Let’s go –
Do it this time
All the other times brought you to this one
See the difference in how those thoughts feel?
It’s everything because your feelings
Drive your actions
Give you your results
What does that leave us with?
What is the story you want to tell about your future?
You know what I like to do
I like to think about my future self
what will she be saying
I’m hoping she thanking me
For everything I’m doing now
I think she would be telling me to keep going
It’s for sure not always perfect
But just keep going
And let me be clear because
When In the beginning I was discussing
Future plans that didn’t go as planned right?
So I don’t want to confuse you
You can still set goals
You still think about your future self
You still go after all of that
But if it doesn’t go entirely as planned
You don’t argue with that
See that twist?
We don’t always know the how
Of how we are getting to our goals
We know our goals
And we keep taking action
One of the problems is
We think we need to know the how
In fact – we often think
we need to know the how
Before we start
And then we just wait
Because we are not quite clear
on the how
Come closer and listen up
The way you know the how
Is to start doing something
You learn real fast if it’s the way or not
And then you keep going
Ok my friends
I have an amazing story about all if you that’s for sure!
And – I have some great news –
I have time this week set aside to chat with you
One on one
A free consult call where I can tell you
More specifically how to implement these ideas
For your life
Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/work with me to get started
Ok – that’s what I have for you today
Let’s circle back next week
But for now –
Stay healthy and make it a great day –