Ep 78 Escaping Boredom

 

EP 78 – Escaping Boredom

I know a lot of folks are getting ansy  We are not used to being with ourselves so much – or in  our heads as much as we are now.  Because of that, there has been a lot of buffering going on.  Buffering – meaning – trying to escape from things like anxiety and boredom.  But what if neither were a problem we needed to escape?  I am recording this as we are in the COVID19 Pandemic, but the concepts and tools apply to any day.  Listen to learn more – and be sure to check out the give-a-way opportunity at the end!  

IN THIS EPISODE:

• The challenge with boredom 
• Boredom not a problem
• Embracing boredom
• Powerful questions
• Imaging new possibilities
• Fear is Fuel Give-A-Way 

Work with Me:  https://michellebourquecoaching.com/work-with-me/

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back everyone

Are you feeling a little like it is Ground Hogs Day yet? lol..

Hopefully everyone is still staying safe 

Oh – and be sure to listen til the end 

Because I have a fun give-a-way I want to tell you about 

Ok – let’s dive in 

I know for a lot of folks 

are getting ansy

We are not used to being with ourselves so much right?

And in our heads maybe more than usual

lol.. and I chuckle because – 

Sometimes I am frightened by what I hear in my head

I also know there has been a lot of buffering going on 

Now – I am recording this as we are in the COVID19 Pandemic

But the concepts and tools apply to any day 

And If you are not sure what I mean about buffering 

I’m talking about using things 

Like wine

Like food

Maybe social media

Anything like that to escape –

To lessen the impact of whatever you are feeling 

A couple of my past episodes have been more focused on 

Anxiety 

Today I’m going to talk about

Escaping your life 

Sometimes called buffering 

And 

I want to 

incorporate boredom 

There is a lot of anxiety yes

And 

But there is also a lot of boredom

And neither is a problem 

Unless you think it is right?

Now listen – 

I’m sharing this today because I find for myself

Being ok with being bored 

Can be a challenge 

In fact –

I did a little experiment the other day 

I was driving to see a patient 

And normally I have podcasts on 

Or I’m talking to coworkers 

As I drive 

But on this day –

You know 

work is a bit slower

 so didn’t have anything pressing to be on the phone about

And I thought – 

maybe I take a break from filling my brain with podcasts 

Wait a second lol..

I don’t mean to tell you this so you take a break from  me..

Keep listening..lol..

But I thought – what would it be like to just drive 

In silence 

lol..

I found myself reaching for a podcast within like 20 minutes

I had to remind myself – not on this trip

So fascinating right?

I’m also sharing this with you because I’ve heard from a number of people

That they are finding themselves having the extra wine 

or eating throughout the day 

Or eating crap – there words..lol..

Because they are bored

So I thought it would be a great topic to discuss

Because I know there are a lot of folks dealing with the same thing

So lets start with the basics

As a reminder – 

The motivational triad for the brain is to

Avoid pain

Seek pleasure 

And be as efficient as possible 

Now – especially in the society we live in

There are so many areas 

for us to seek pleasure

Our primitive brain 

loves the dopamine hit 

So what that looks like is 

The extra wine, the extra food, the extra social media

And being bored 

Sometimes feels painful to people 

We can be so intolerant of it right?

Now 

 before I continue 

I want to make sure we all know where being bored goes 

If we are thinking about the thought model

I’m bored

Is a thought

I know I said being bored is not a problem 

And its not 

But the other side of that

 is 

We don’t ever have to be bored

If we just stop thinking we are bored

We won’t be bored 

Sometimes what happens is 

We think its just a fact right

Like – nothing to do 

I’m bored

Just reporting the news over here

But that’s not the case 

I’m bored is an optional thought 

Because you could also take time 

And let you mind wander 

When you have extra time 

It could totally be a great opportunity 

For you to start asking yourself powerful questions

Questions for your future self 

which we discussed in episode 73

Questions about what you want your life to look like 

Maybe 3 months from now 

Maybe next year 

You decide 

Now 

This is not the time to indulge in 

All the self critical talk that is so easy to go to

It’s time to ask better questions

Find better answers 

You will be amazed at what you find

When you actually take the time to do this work

Ok – Back to the motivational triad 

We tell ourselves we need to have some wine – food – facebook 

Insert whatever it is for you

Because we are feeling bored

You know what’s kinda funny 

I think sometimes is easier for our brain 

To quickly  jump to feeling anxious

Once we think we are bored 

Because then its almost like 

We have something to solve 

Like – if we are feeling anxious about something 

We have a chance to fix it 

So our brain thinks 

That is 

our Lower 

Primitive brain 

And that my friends

is why we need to do the work 

On managing it

So – what does managing it 

Looks like 

First 

Notice what you are thinking 

Pay attention 

To when you hear yourself saying 

I’m bored

Get curious 

So what?

So what if you are bored?

What does bored even feel like?

I have to be honest 

I think for me 

And I’m guessing many of you

Once I have the thought I’m bored 

I do almost start to feel anxious

Because the next quick thought is

I shouldn’t be bored 

Make sense?

And that’s when 

Da ta da…

We grab the wine

The food 

The social media

Because we don’t want to feel bored 

Or anxious

I mean seriously 

If this is you 

You are not alone 

Have you seen the increase 

In alcohol sales

It’s because people 

Aren’t comfortable 

With feeling any of these feelings

So its easier to numb out

Same with food 

Or social media

We get our dopamine hit

And the brain is like 

Ahhh

That feels better

Remember 

The brain likes comfortable

Easy

Efficient 

No discomfort

But here’s what I find with most people I coach

There is the discomfort of the boredom

Or anxiety 

And then there is the discomfort 

Of living the same life over and over

Having a deep desire 

To not feel like its the same thing over and over 

But not really sure how to change it

Right? 

So start becoming aware of what is going on

Start paying attention to what you are telling yourself 

Putting it on paper really allows you to see it 

To see they are just sentences running in your brain

And it the pause 

With getting it on paper

Helps you stop spinning in the thoughts

So that’s one idea

I’m going to share a couple here because 

This is not one stop shopping

You have options 

Which – side note 

I had one lady who was telling herself she had no 

Options for food

But when questioned 

She realizes she does 

She’s choosing to eat 

The crap ..lol.

That’s a great example to watch what you tell yourself right?

If you think you have no options

You are the victim

And when you are in the victim mindset 

You won’t take positive action 

To reach the goals you want 

Now – speaking of goals you want 

Have you noticed 

All those projects you told yourself you wanted to do

But just didn’t have the time 

lol.. well – we have a bit more time

And still the projects 

Not so much getting done ..lol..

It was never about the time

You just didn’t want to really 

do them 

That’s ok

But I want to offer you something 

Lets say you take the Time 

To ask yourself the powerful questions 

And you come up with a goal

That maybe you even think is impossible 

But there is something inside you 

Telling you it could be fun

Pay attention to that 

And then start taking action

I find when I’m feeling anxious 

If I can use that energy towards projects it also helps 

Use it to fuel what you want to accomplish

Because here’s another thing I want to mention

Once you start taking action

You will feel so much more powerful

There are a number of circumstances in life 

That we have no control over 

Especially these days right?

But if you have a goal

And you write down all that needs to be accomplished for it 

And you put each step on your calendar 

With a specific date and time 

And you follow the plan

You could literally have a different life in a couple of months 

Seriously 

You take action

You show up to honor commitments to yourself

You see results 

SOOO much more powerful

So much more fun!

But remember 

I’m not telling you this 

So you try to escape from feeling bored

It’s just another way to embrace it 

Bored – anxious – not a problem

Feelings my friends 

Nothing more than feelings..

Lol I’ll spare you the singing

You are welcome 

Oh – before we leave 

I told you abut a fun give a way 

I have a fun interview for you for episode 80 

I had the opportunity to chat with 

Patrick Sweeney – author of Fear is Fuel

I would like to give a way a couple of his books 

And I thought it would be fun to incorporate a little interaction here 

So – If you are loving this podcast 

like you would give it a 5 on iTunes

I want to ask you to head over there 

Give all the stars 

and leave a review 

Take a screen shot 

And tag me on Instagram 

@michellebourquecoaching 

And you will be entered into the drawing 

To receive a book

I’m telling you –

The book was so good 

I can’t wait to share it 

You won’t be disappointed 

And you know what else happens when you leave a review

It can help others find the podcast that might need help 

So thank you in advance 

Ok – that’s what I have for you today friends

Let’s circle back next week 

But for now 

Stay healthy  and Make it a great day 

Take care!