Ep 78 Escaping Boredom
EP 78 – Escaping Boredom
I know a lot of folks are getting ansy We are not used to being with ourselves so much – or in our heads as much as we are now. Because of that, there has been a lot of buffering going on. Buffering – meaning – trying to escape from things like anxiety and boredom. But what if neither were a problem we needed to escape? I am recording this as we are in the COVID19 Pandemic, but the concepts and tools apply to any day. Listen to learn more – and be sure to check out the give-a-way opportunity at the end!
IN THIS EPISODE:
- The challenge with boredom
- Boredom not a problem
- Embracing boredom
- Powerful questions
- Imaging new possibilities
- Fear is Fuel Give-A-Way
Work with Me: https://michellebourquecoaching.com/work-with-me/
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TRANSCRIPT:
Hello hello hello
Welcome back everyone
Are you feeling a little like it is Ground Hogs Day yet? lol..
Hopefully everyone is still staying safe
Oh – and be sure to listen til the end
Because I have a fun give-a-way I want to tell you about
Ok – let’s dive in
I know for a lot of folks
are getting ansy
We are not used to being with ourselves so much right?
And in our heads maybe more than usual
lol.. and I chuckle because –
Sometimes I am frightened by what I hear in my head
I also know there has been a lot of buffering going on
Now – I am recording this as we are in the COVID19 Pandemic
But the concepts and tools apply to any day
And If you are not sure what I mean about buffering
I’m talking about using things
Like wine
Like food
Maybe social media
Anything like that to escape –
To lessen the impact of whatever you are feeling
A couple of my past episodes have been more focused on
Anxiety
Today I’m going to talk about
Escaping your life
Sometimes called buffering
And
I want to
incorporate boredom
There is a lot of anxiety yes
And
But there is also a lot of boredom
And neither is a problem
Unless you think it is right?
Now listen –
I’m sharing this today because I find for myself
Being ok with being bored
Can be a challenge
In fact –
I did a little experiment the other day
I was driving to see a patient
And normally I have podcasts on
Or I’m talking to coworkers
As I drive
But on this day –
You know
work is a bit slower
so didn’t have anything pressing to be on the phone about
And I thought –
maybe I take a break from filling my brain with podcasts
Wait a second lol..
I don’t mean to tell you this so you take a break from me..
Keep listening..lol..
But I thought – what would it be like to just drive
In silence
lol..
I found myself reaching for a podcast within like 20 minutes
I had to remind myself – not on this trip
So fascinating right?
I’m also sharing this with you because I’ve heard from a number of people
That they are finding themselves having the extra wine
or eating throughout the day
Or eating crap – there words..lol..
Because they are bored
So I thought it would be a great topic to discuss
Because I know there are a lot of folks dealing with the same thing
So lets start with the basics
As a reminder –
The motivational triad for the brain is to
Avoid pain
Seek pleasure
And be as efficient as possible
Now – especially in the society we live in
There are so many areas
for us to seek pleasure
Our primitive brain
loves the dopamine hit
So what that looks like is
The extra wine, the extra food, the extra social media
And being bored
Sometimes feels painful to people
We can be so intolerant of it right?
Now
before I continue
I want to make sure we all know where being bored goes
If we are thinking about the thought model
I’m bored
Is a thought
I know I said being bored is not a problem
And its not
But the other side of that
is
We don’t ever have to be bored
If we just stop thinking we are bored
We won’t be bored
Sometimes what happens is
We think its just a fact right
Like – nothing to do
I’m bored
Just reporting the news over here
But that’s not the case
I’m bored is an optional thought
Because you could also take time
And let you mind wander
When you have extra time
It could totally be a great opportunity
For you to start asking yourself powerful questions
Questions for your future self
which we discussed in episode 73
Questions about what you want your life to look like
Maybe 3 months from now
Maybe next year
You decide
Now
This is not the time to indulge in
All the self critical talk that is so easy to go to
It’s time to ask better questions
Find better answers
You will be amazed at what you find
When you actually take the time to do this work
Ok – Back to the motivational triad
We tell ourselves we need to have some wine – food – facebook
Insert whatever it is for you
Because we are feeling bored
You know what’s kinda funny
I think sometimes is easier for our brain
To quickly jump to feeling anxious
Once we think we are bored
Because then its almost like
We have something to solve
Like – if we are feeling anxious about something
We have a chance to fix it
So our brain thinks
That is
our Lower
Primitive brain
And that my friends
is why we need to do the work
On managing it
So – what does managing it
Looks like
First
Notice what you are thinking
Pay attention
To when you hear yourself saying
I’m bored
Get curious
So what?
So what if you are bored?
What does bored even feel like?
I have to be honest
I think for me
And I’m guessing many of you
Once I have the thought I’m bored
I do almost start to feel anxious
Because the next quick thought is
I shouldn’t be bored
Make sense?
And that’s when
Da ta da…
We grab the wine
The food
The social media
Because we don’t want to feel bored
Or anxious
I mean seriously
If this is you
You are not alone
Have you seen the increase
In alcohol sales
It’s because people
Aren’t comfortable
With feeling any of these feelings
So its easier to numb out
Same with food
Or social media
We get our dopamine hit
And the brain is like
Ahhh
That feels better
Remember
The brain likes comfortable
Easy
Efficient
No discomfort
But here’s what I find with most people I coach
There is the discomfort of the boredom
Or anxiety
And then there is the discomfort
Of living the same life over and over
Having a deep desire
To not feel like its the same thing over and over
But not really sure how to change it
Right?
So start becoming aware of what is going on
Start paying attention to what you are telling yourself
Putting it on paper really allows you to see it
To see they are just sentences running in your brain
And it the pause
With getting it on paper
Helps you stop spinning in the thoughts
So that’s one idea
I’m going to share a couple here because
This is not one stop shopping
You have options
Which – side note
I had one lady who was telling herself she had no
Options for food
But when questioned
She realizes she does
She’s choosing to eat
The crap ..lol.
That’s a great example to watch what you tell yourself right?
If you think you have no options
You are the victim
And when you are in the victim mindset
You won’t take positive action
To reach the goals you want
Now – speaking of goals you want
Have you noticed
All those projects you told yourself you wanted to do
But just didn’t have the time
lol.. well – we have a bit more time
And still the projects
Not so much getting done ..lol..
It was never about the time
You just didn’t want to really
do them
That’s ok
But I want to offer you something
Lets say you take the Time
To ask yourself the powerful questions
And you come up with a goal
That maybe you even think is impossible
But there is something inside you
Telling you it could be fun
Pay attention to that
And then start taking action
I find when I’m feeling anxious
If I can use that energy towards projects it also helps
Use it to fuel what you want to accomplish
Because here’s another thing I want to mention
Once you start taking action
You will feel so much more powerful
There are a number of circumstances in life
That we have no control over
Especially these days right?
But if you have a goal
And you write down all that needs to be accomplished for it
And you put each step on your calendar
With a specific date and time
And you follow the plan
You could literally have a different life in a couple of months
Seriously
You take action
You show up to honor commitments to yourself
You see results
SOOO much more powerful
So much more fun!
But remember
I’m not telling you this
So you try to escape from feeling bored
It’s just another way to embrace it
Bored – anxious – not a problem
Feelings my friends
Nothing more than feelings..
Lol I’ll spare you the singing
You are welcome
Oh – before we leave
I told you abut a fun give a way
I have a fun interview for you for episode 80
I had the opportunity to chat with
Patrick Sweeney – author of Fear is Fuel
I would like to give a way a couple of his books
And I thought it would be fun to incorporate a little interaction here
So – If you are loving this podcast
like you would give it a 5 on iTunes
I want to ask you to head over there
Give all the stars
and leave a review
Take a screen shot
And tag me on Instagram
@michellebourquecoaching
And you will be entered into the drawing
To receive a book
I’m telling you –
The book was so good
I can’t wait to share it
You won’t be disappointed
And you know what else happens when you leave a review
It can help others find the podcast that might need help
So thank you in advance
Ok – that’s what I have for you today friends
Let’s circle back next week
But for now
Stay healthy and Make it a great day
Take care!