Ep 288 Making Powerful Decisions

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Join me today as I talk about how making powerful decisions can change your life.  In this episode I discuss the importance of stepping into the agency you have in life, understanding your reasons why you are making choices in your life – and how to start creating the life you most want today. 

  • Making powerful decisions, including understanding the definition of decision-making and the importance of taking action.0:02
    • New ways to simplify decision-making, such as delegating some decisions or letting go of unnecessary choices.
  • Decision-making, self-doubt, and personal growth.6:14
    • The importance of reframing thoughts to gain perspective and find peace.
    • Take control of decision-making process and embrace learning from failures for more opportunities of growth
    • The power of deciding in advance to help you enjoy your life and prime your brain to find evidence for what you believe to be true.
    • Checking in with your reasons why you’re making decisions, and be willing to change your mind if necessary.
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Episode Transcript: 

Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits:

You are listening to the inner time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. In today’s episode, I’m discussing making powerful decisions. Welcome to the it’s your time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends, I have to tell you, I might have to go back to doing this every week, I miss being here with you. And I want to know like what is going on in your world. So many good things, I hope and I will bring you up to speed on a few things here. First, I want to remind you of the ways that we can connect especially if we are still in this every other week mode. This socials at Michelle Bert coaching and if you want to hop on our email list, maybe have some additional opportunities for free tools. Sometimes I offer some free coaching bits of inspiration of the latest info, go to Michelle Burke coaching.com forward slash connect. Now if you want to get started right out of the gate and have the opportunity to work on ways to excel in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. I also have a free download for you. And you can go to Michelle Burt coaching.com, forward slash overwhelm. And remember, Bourque is BOURQUE. So if you head over there, you can use the free download, you can personalize it to your life. And you’ll still get the monthly emails from me as well. So much goodness, right. Okay, let’s go ahead and jump into today’s episode because today I want to talk to you about making decisions. And let’s take it up a notch making powerful decisions. And I want to start, as you know, I often do with defining what a decision is, it is the act or process of deciding determination as of a question or doubt by making a judgement. Now, hold on one moment, because we are going to layer in a few things here. So I want you to pay attention. Okay? What then, is judgment. Now, when I go, you know, clickety clack over on the Google’s and find a definition, the one that I really liked that came up was the mental ability to understand something, form an opinion and make a decision. So let’s unpack this a little bit. And let me just pause and fill you in on why this is coming up this week. I have been recently talking to a few folks who are considering some big decisions in life. And listen, this can be big, like leaving your job leaving a relationship starting a new business or it can also pertain to things that are smaller decisions that we face in daily life. Like, what am I going to wear today? By the way, this is me every morning like oh talk, what are we going to wear today? Yes, I’m asking the dog? Or maybe what are we going to have for dinner? Which by the way? I find this such a draining question. And I’ve talked about it here before, right? The whole? What do you want for dinner? I don’t know, what do you want for dinner? I don’t know. So I have decided and feel free to take this route that I just do not spend too much brain energy on this question. Feel free to do the same, right? There may be things in your life that you just want to decide, like, Hey, I’m gonna let that one go. So for the whole dinner idea, I just have some regular go to meals. And if Mark doesn’t like my idea, he comes up with the ideas. Very simple, right? And it saves so much brain space for me. So feel free to do the same. Consider Are there areas where you can just make it easy on yourself? Are there areas where maybe you can delegate some of the decisions? Or like I mentioned, maybe you can just let some things go. So that’s easy, right? Step one, figure out, do you even need to make the decision, right, decide if you need to decide. But as we move into some of the bigger conversations, I have been hearing things like I want to make sure that I make the right decision or I want to know for sure that it is the right decision, or I have no idea what I want. None of these thoughts about the decision are feeling pretty powerful, right? And guess what else? When we have this thinking about making the decision? The I’m not sure where to start? Or I’m not sure what the right answer is? Guess what we’re not doing? We are not taking action as the definition states. And the second layer to go into the process of this is you making a judgment and remember or the judgment is coming from forming an opinion? And where do our opinions come from? So many questions in here, right? So many layers? Well, usually our opinions come from what society has told us or family or friends, they are beliefs that we have taken on. And sometimes those beliefs feel like facts. But remember, a belief is simply a thought that we have thought over and over, and it feels like it is just the way of the world. But what if it’s not? Okay? Let me pause again for one more moment, because we are a few layers deep into this. And I just want to kind of sum it up in a more simplistic manner. So to make a decision, you need to take action, to make a decision, you need to know your reasons why, when you make a decision, you ignite the agency and energy and your life. So why then, does it sometimes feel so challenging? Well, let me share some of the things that I’ve been hearing with the big decision space. Someone I was talking to is considering leaving a job now that she has two kids. And she was saying things like, what you grew up thinking that you need to go to school, you need to get good grades, you need to go to college, you get the good job. And now I’m just going to leave, what will people think, was all that a waste of time. Quick note, in psychology, this is called the sunk cost fallacy. It’s the cognitive bias that makes you feel like you should continue doing something, since you’ve already sunk so much into it. This can be jobs, it can be relationships, this thinking makes it difficult to walk away from a situation that maybe is no longer serving you because you don’t want to think your resources, time, energy, etc, have been wasted. But what if that wasn’t true? What if all of the time energy money brought you right to this spot to make the next move? What if you reframe that, and think about what is now possible? If you were to choose something different? Remember, our brains have a negativity bias. So we are always going to think about what it is right? That fear of losing something versus being intentional, and thinking about what could I possibly gain? And also, did you notice the other reasons that I mentioned in the conversation? All we’re concerned about what others will think? I want to encourage you to think about what you think, metacognition, your ability to think about your thinking, it is a freaking superpower, when you start paying attention to that, versus thinking about what others think your life will change. And listen, oftentimes, we think that people think about us more than they actually do. Because guess what, they’re probably thinking about what others think about them, right? So it’s so crazy sometimes what our brains will do. So I want you to think about what you are thinking, and your life will change. And I will tell you, simply just making the decision can bring you some peace in your life. When you are in that I’m not sure space, it usually feels terrible. And why do we hang out there? I think for a lot of folks, especially women, we don’t want to make a quote unquote, wrong decision. But let’s even think about that. What would make it wrong? Who decides that it is wrong? And what is the story that you will tell yourself if you think it’s wrong? If the results didn’t quite match up to what you anticipated? There’s a theme here to the answer, my friends, the answer is you, you would be the one having thoughts about why it was wrong. You decide that it is wrong or right, you decide what the story is about it being wrong. And this fear, this fear of making the wrong decision usually stems back to the fear of failing. But what if failing, is simply learning? What if failing, is actually a new opportunity to try a different way? What if we don’t make failing mean that we are a failure? Do you want to know what might happen, you might actually be willing to take that action to decide on purpose and with purpose as to what it is that you want, and decide that you will have your own back no matter what the outcome and you also get to redesign as well. So maybe something doesn’t go quite as expected. Guess what? You get to tell the story about what that means. You get to make another decision to change it. There is so much power in deciding, learning. Moving on, decide, learn, move on, decide, learn, move on. Think about the time spent in thinking thinking thinking about the decision, right? Just like lingering there. Just the thought of the lingering it’s likenot taking action? And how much further along in your life could you be if you just made a powerful decision, learn moved on, and you multiply that exponentially. Every time you make those decisions, you become a new version of yourself because you have had the opportunity to learn. So all of the decisions from there on out, just keep you growing and evolving. And isn’t that what we want? Yes, by the way, the answer is yes. If you’re listening here, yes, you do want to grow and evolve. And I am so happy that you are here. And I hope that you are giving yourself a little kudos for doing the work not everyone does. Now, before we close, I want to share another little tool that might be helpful. You also get to decide in advance. So we’ve been talking about what you make the decision mean, right? Like what the story is that you want to tell about it. But you also have the option to decide in advance. And this is a powerful concept that can really help you enjoy your life more. So let’s say you’re going on vacation, sometimes we say things like, Oh, I hope we have a good time, I hope everything works out, consider deciding in advance that you are going to have a great time. Yes. Listen, even if part of the vacation has been spent with folks that annoy the crap out of you, you get to decide in advance about all of it. When you do that you’re priming your brain, your reticular activating system to find evidence for what you believe to be true, you are way more likely to enjoy yourself, when you decide in advance and listen, deciding in advance can also be used on the opposite end of the spectrum, and maybe not be so useful. So think about like, maybe when someone tells you, a new colleague has come in, and maybe they say something about how she can’t be trusted because you heard XYZ was done at her previous job. Likelihood is you are going to have some thoughts about that person, even before meeting her think about it right? I’m sure this has played out in your life before. So be careful with how you use the intention setting the deciding in advance it is super powerful. And you can benefit so much by knowing that you hold the power. You have the agency in your life to decide what you want. And then you can decide that you like your reasons why right? Think about that? Do you like your reasons why you’re making these decisions? And if you check in, and if you don’t like your reasons, for some reason, hey, that’s good to know. Right? And then maybe you can just step into the power of again, changing your mind. So making the decisions, deciding if you like your reasons why. If you do rock on if you don’t maybe reconsider. This is how we grow friends, trust in yourself believing you know better, what you want in your life, over all of the other voices. I’m gonna say that again. It’s one that sometimes takes a little time to set in, believe that you know better what you want in your life, versus all of the external voices that you’re listening to. Listen, it is not always easy. I get it, but I also assure you, it is worth it. And so are you. Okay, that’s what I have for you today. Don’t forget to head over to Michelle Burt coaching.com And we can get connected you can capture and grab some more free tools. Also on the socials at Michellebourquecoaching.com reminder,  BOURQUE. Okay friends, let’s get back here soon for now. Make it a great day. Take care

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