Ep 287 3 Steps to Protect Your Peace

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Join me today as I share 3 Steps to Protect Your Peace as we enter into the summer months.  This will be helpful for you if you have changes in your schedules with kids, planning for vacation or just need the figure out how to feel better today.

 

 

Episode Transcript: (Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits)

You are listening to the It’s Your Time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. In today’s episode, I’m discussing three steps to protect your peace. Welcome to the It’s Your time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends what is going on in your world. We are now in June. So I’m guessing for some of you that kiddos are getting ready to be done with school. Perhaps some of you have vacations or even staycations changes, right as we enter into this summer season, or, you know, maybe not so much for you. But in any case, what I want to talk to you about today will be useful. Today I am discussing three steps to protect your piece. And I will tell you the idea came to me when I was listening well, full transparency, perhaps Eavesdropping is really more like it. Two women talking in a locker room recently. And one was telling her friend that she had lost so much weight. And then the other said it was because of all the schoolwork that she had and that she didn’t have time to go to the gym. And the gym is where she is able to keep her muscle mass up. Hold on sidenote, friends, you know, I sometimes have these left turns, right, but I just want to put a plug in here. As we’re talking to the benefits of weightlifting, I have been researching more and more about how important it is for us to be lifting for our bone density, especially as we get older. And let’s also get rid of that myth that we will be bulking up not happening. Strong women. Yes, please, more of that. Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming. So there seem to be a lot of stress going on in this conversation. And I feel like this idea of not having time was one of the biggest if not the biggest shifts that I made through coaching, and feeling more at peace with life in general. So in this episode, I want to talk to you especially now, right, if you are having changes with summer schedules, entering into a new season, well, at least here in the northeast, it’s really a great time to talk about protecting your peace and sharing these three steps. Because when we do that, you’re able to feel more empowered along the way. And that is what I want for you. So let’s start with the first shift, stop telling yourself you don’t have time, that usually feels terrible. And it’s not true. You have 24 hours in every single day, we all do. Now, what you do with those 24 hours might look different for everyone. That’s totally perfect. But at the end of the day, we are all on a level playing ground. There is just no upside to saying that you have no time. Think about how you feel when you say it not so great. I imagine, really give it a minute. See that sentence, see how you feel. The truth is, we all prioritize what is important to us throughout the day. And you know what, sometimes it might not feel like you’re prioritizing, because I know for a lot of you, you’re running here and there, and you’re doing for this one, and you’re doing for that one, maybe you have kids, maybe you have patients, maybe we have clients, maybe you have parents, and you’re putting out all of these fires, but in doing each one of those actions, you are prioritizing. You need to give yourself credit for that. If you’re choosing to do things with the kids recognize that if you’re choosing to do the things for extra credit, you know and air quotes for work, recognize that now, you might be saying no, I have to do that. You do not have to do those things. Listen to me, moms leave and abandoned kids all the time. You can choose to take a different job at any minute. The fact is you are choosing and it’s so important that you know this and that you live every day knowing you can change your freakin life if you want to. And choosing to stay there is also a choice like recognize the power and knowing that Be careful what you tell yourself. You cannot always believe what your brain says. Right? You have to watch out for the ants. Automatic negative thinking or automatic negative thoughts right so the first step CSR, catch yourself saying I don’t have time. Stop. Reframe. What is the story that you want to tell yourself about how you are prioritizing Here’s another piece to that. When you think about your why behind choosing the things that you are doing, or are prioritizing. Do you like your reason? It could be us, right? I do like my reason I want to take care of my kids or I want to go for the extra work because I’m looking for the promotion, whatever it might be. Or it might be No, I don’t like my reason. I’m doing this only because, um, people pleasing, or afraid to say no, or can’t seem to set boundaries, two totally different situations, right. If it’s the latter, then the work is getting better at doing those things at saying no, at setting boundaries, at really curtailing all of the people pleasing. Okay, step number two, stop saying, I don’t know, I know. I’m sounding quite bossy this week, right? Stop doing this. Stop saying that. Okay, what do I mean here? I don’t know, specific to the feeling of like, overwhelm is really what I want to focus on here. A lot of us might say this, something like, I don’t know where to start. I just had a flashback to when I first started at NewsChannel 13. This was oh my gosh, decades ago, right? It’s the NBC affiliate in Albany, back then. The client info was all in manila folders. And when I moved into sales, I had stacks and stacks and stacks of folders. Oh, and my diet mentioned that I was 100% Commission. And I had no idea where to start. All of these folders were all piled up. And I just sat on the floor, in my cubicle crying. And luckily, Paula, the gal that was next to me suggested that I put them on the desk, yes, in the hanging folders. But I’m aging myself, right? And then take them out and learn a little bit about each account and prioritize what the next steps would be. So think about how you feel when you say, I don’t know, it’s almost like a stop sign for your brain. I don’t know how I’m going to make 400,000 This year, I don’t know how I’m going to lose the last 10 pounds. I don’t know how I can make that vacation happen with all that I have going on? Usually when we’re saying I don’t know. We feel unsure. Right? I mean, think about it for you. I think that’s just one that comes to mind to me, immediately. And so when we’re feeling unsure, we just sit in an action or we feel overwhelmed and sit in an action, right? Like I don’t know where to start, I have so much to do. And then we just don’t even start taking action. What I want to suggest is can you get curious, Curiosity is a great feeling to help generate some authentic, inspired action, curiosity with compassion. That is a lovely duo. If I were to take a guess, what might I do? That is something you can ask yourself, if I was just going to take a guess here, what might I do? Let your brain open up to some possibilities. When you do that, you are way more likely to find the ideas to get moving. And you will not feel so overwhelmed. When you come from curiosity that is a whole different feeling. Now, the extra piece with this is you cannot beat yourself up if the action that you took was not the one that produced the expected results. My perfectionistic friends, I’m talking to you. And I know you because I have been you and I am recovering. So many of the women that I work with have some really negative internal dialogues. I mean, listen, I still I get it. Right, we can beat ourselves up. And sometimes I think imagine if there was ever a megaphone of what is going on in your brain. Probably not always rainbows, daisies and butterflies. I really want to encourage you all of us to think about failing as learning. You take action, you learn, you move on. Let’s keep with the you know, abbreviations TLM, take action, learn, move on. I will tell you, sometimes just dropping that extra layer of judgment of not having the anticipated result and then beating yourself up on top of that sometimes just dropping that extra layer can make a tremendous difference and feeling more at peace. Okay, here we are at the third one for this episode. Listen, there are lots of ways to help you feel more at peace in your life.

I am just sharing these three today because they seem to land for me recently. And what I’ve been seeing over the past couple of weeks and you know, you can always reach out to me directly to learn more about personalized coaching packages to help you or if you’re not quite ready for that. You can get on my email list Michelle birth coaching.com Calm forward slash overwhelm. Remember, Bourque is not how it sounds, it’s BOURQUE. So MichelleBourquecoaching.com/overwhelm. And there, you will get started with a free guide that you can download. And it will help you excel in your career but without the stress and overwhelm. So it goes more in depth about what we’re talking about today. And there’s no cost. So go over there and get it checked out. On top of that, you’ll also be receiving monthly newsletters where I share more free tips, concepts, tools, all the things that are going on with you so much fun. Okay, the third and final one for today. Ask yourself, what do I want to do? This can be a tough, tough question, especially if you’ve been telling yourself that you don’t have time and you don’t know, right? I know, for me, when my coach first asked that question, I was like, Huh, what do I want to do? As women we are often socialized to be helping and doing and people pleasing. And going all for everyone else, we have been told that it’s selfish to have some sense of self care. And I think it’s actually self preservation at the most foundational level. What do you want? Again, just guess, don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself, take five minutes, and just start writing maybe. Or if you’re not into the journaling idea, just sit in your car and think about it like a dream. I know what happened, right? As kids, we would dream, we would think, Oh, I want to go to college. Oh, I want to get married. Oh, I want to have kids. And then what the heck happens? Take this five minutes, and give it to yourself to think about what you want. You know what’s interesting, your higher self knows that voice that whispers and might whisper what the FMI doing this for? Or it might whisper Hmm. Imagine if that was actually possible. You have to trust those nudges. When you allow yourself just a couple of minutes to dream, you will find a stream of consciousness that you maybe are not even aware of. And that will be the answer, at least to start right. I’m not saying it’s the final be all end all. But it gives you a new spark. One that if you start to follow it, you start to do more of what you want in life. Guess what? You will always find more peace around that. More of what you want to do more reminding yourself that you are in control of doing what you want. That my friend is where the magic is at life changing work. I am not kidding you. It has made the biggest difference for me. And I’m not saying it’s easy, but I’m telling you it is worth it. And so are you. Okay, that’s what I have this week. Again, go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com/overwhelm for the free guide and to get on the email list. If you want to connect directly, simply reply to any email that I send you. And we can discuss what personalized packages might look like for you at this season in your life. Okay, let’s check back soon but for now, make it a great day. Take care. Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one, go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com, and click on get started to begin

 

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