Ep 284 Success Secrets to Conquer Stress, Overwhelm and Time Management

 In Podcast

Join me today as I talk some of the best ways to help conquer stress, overwhelm and time management in order to feel more in control of your days.

In This Episode:

  • Managing stress and overwhelm through setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. 0:00
    • The key to empowerment: recognizing that you are in control of your time and schedule, and setting boundaries to prioritize what matters most in life.
  • Managing overwhelm by reframing thoughts and prioritizing tasks. 4:38
    • The power in examining their thoughts and change their narrative to produce different feelings and actions.
  • Managing emotions and stress through mindfulness and self-awareness. 9:42
    • The importance of observing feelings rather than identifying with them.
    • Tools to manage stress and energy levels.
  • Prioritizing tasks and managing time for productivity. 13:35
    • The importance of prioritizing tasks and setting boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
    • Tools to take control and empowering oneself for success.
  • More on Stress Enhancement: Ali Crum
  • More on Energy Management: Molly Fletcher
  • Connect with me – contact@michellebourquecoaching.com

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Episode Transcript:  Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits: You are listening to the It’s Your Time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. In today’s episode, I’m discussing success secrets to conquering stress, overwhelm, and time management. Welcome to the richer time Podcast, the podcast. We’re busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule so you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place. Hello, hello. Hello. Welcome back to the podcast friends. I will tell you what, it has been a month. I think all but one weekend I have been traveling. One weekend we had dead’s burial couldn’t do it when he passed because of the weather. So we took care of it in this spring, we are closing down the fiscal year as you know, the most important fiscal year and the company’s history, right until, of course, April 29. When we start the most important quarter in the history of the company, if you know, you know, and I have some fun things, actually that are coming up with the nieces that I’ve planned. Well, at least I like to think it’s fun. I do like to incorporate some learning maybe history my sister always picks on me and she jokes that oh, yeah, sure. We’re going with crazy aunt. Michelley. That’s a blast learning history. Listen, I tried to get them also to journal and meditate and workout with me as well. You got to teach this self care stuff early on, right? Not all of us have the bonus and the benefit of learning early on. Oh, and I’m also transitioning into the chair role of our employee resource group that I’ve talked about here. So I’ve been working on all of that fun kind of behind the scenes until we actually make the official move in May. So why why? Why do I tell you all of this a few reasons. Number one, the month had a lot of things going on. And if I didn’t have the tools that I talked to you about here, I could get very overwhelmed. So today, I want to talk a little bit about overwhelm your job, some ideas around time management, or maybe even better energy management. And number two, the month had a lot of feelings going on from energized to hyped up and excited and nervous and sad and joyful and grateful. And I’m sure I could keep going on to name a lot more emotions. But today, what I want to do is touch on the idea of where feelings come from, and why it’s important to be willing to experience all of what life gives us. Listen, we’re not meant to always feel amazing. Pretty sure if you never felt doubt, or shame, or sadness or grief. You might be narcissistic, or a sociopath. So I’m going to touch on that a bit as well. And then the last part is number three time or energy management, you are always in control of your time and your schedule. And I know that it does not always feel like that. For those of you who have been here a while, you know, this was one of my biggest shifts. Doing this work after I started coaching, knowing that you are in control leaves you so much more empowered and able to truly do the things that you want most in life. And that, my friend, is what I want for you. So for this, I will be talking about boundaries a little bit people pleasing and Parkinson’s Law. So let’s go ahead and dive in overwhelm. What is overwhelm? Let’s keep it very basic here. Okay. It’s a feeling right. And oftentimes, I think it’s paired with its lovely counterpart, stress. So people will say they are stressed and overwhelmed. So the next question is why? Why are you stressed and overwhelmed? Well, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of people might say things like, their job causes them to be stressed and overwhelmed, or the kids, maybe other family members, maybe you think it’s lack of time, think about what makes you feel overwhelmed. Got it. Now. If it’s a person, place or thing I am going to challenge you to consider you might be wrong. And here’s why. And let me just tell you, what I’m about to share with you is the best news ever, because it is the key to knowing how to be the most empowered in your life and to make changes to not feel so overwhelmed. Let’s look at what I started with in the first example. Okay. I’ve been traveling every weekend. And we’ve been planning death burial. We’re closing down the fiscal year. Oh, plus, you know, listen, life is still going on right patients cases, the usual day to day stuff, so I could for sure say that is all stressing me out. I feel so overwhelmed. But when we talk about feeling overwhelmed, I want to remind you where your feelings come from. And let me say this is what I’m talking about. This is the magic In Your Life knowingness is what can change everything. The feelings come from what we are thinking about all of it. What is the story that you are telling about the circumstances? And I would even say, what’s the story that you’re telling about the stress, right? Like, if you are feeling the stress, usually there’s another layer of the story on top of that. And if you go back to early podcasts here, you will hear me talk about the thought model. And that was my mentors way of explaining this idea. You can also quite honestly, just Google search, think, feel, do model, or think feel do and you will find more information around this. But here’s the basics of what’s going on. You have the circumstances in life. And listen, I could even just use closing down the quarter, right? I don’t have to use all of the lists that I gave you closing down the quarter for the fiscal year. And I could say that I am feeling overwhelmed. But it would be because I had thoughts like, there are so many cases that I need to get scheduled. I’m not going to have enough time to get these items in order. I don’t have the time to keep asking for the schedules of all of these offices. I want you to think about the circumstance that you think causes you overwhelm. What are your thoughts about it, even if we look at your calendar overwhelm often comes from thoughts like, I don’t have enough time, I don’t know where to start, I’ll never get this done by the deadline. Here is how we know. It is not just the circumstances or the circumstance that causes the overwhelm. When we’re thinking about closing down the quarter, for example, right, there are people across the country closing down the same quarter, and they’ve already hit their number. And they’re thinking things like, everything from here is gravy, or I’m gonna hold off on putting this order in, so I can make sure I set myself up great for next quarter. See the difference is the same circumstance, closing the quarter different thoughts, which produce different feelings, similar time, we all have the same amount of time each day, you can choose to think I don’t know where to start, I’ll never get this done. Or you can think things like, I always know how to set priorities, I will figure it out. There are a lot of options to think, right. But let me just share this secondary piece of the puzzle, you must be able to believe the thought, like you usually can’t go from I have no time to get anything done to I have a surplus of time and life is grand. It’s way too big of a leap. It really just needs to be a small shift in the thinking something like today, I know the top three things that I need to complete. And that alone can change so much for you. From there, you have to decide what deserves my energy? Where do I want to be able to let things go? I often say if you keep moving things down your list of things to do, right? Like if it keeps going day after day after day? Does it even really need your attention? And where can you delegate? Where can you delete? And where can you just decide to put it on your calendar and get the freakin thing done? Think about it, delegate, delete, or do Okay, number two, which is still in alignment with some of these ideas, the importance of feelings and being willing to feel the feelings all of them, like you signed up for the full human experience. Let’s start with why our feelings even important. Our feelings are why we do or not do anything in life, right? We just talked about the thing field do model. Let’s keep diving into this idea. And we use overwhelm just to stay consistent here. And let’s also keep with the example of not having enough time because it sounds right. This is It’s your time podcast. So you think I have no idea where to even start, and you feel overwhelmed? And what do you usually do? Not much, right, because you don’t know where to start. So maybe you ruminate on how much you have to do. Or maybe you just want to escape and grab, I don’t know, maybe like a glass of wine or some cookies or nachos. Because when you’re doing that when you’re escaping or ruminating, you don’t even get started on the things that need to get done. Your feeling of overwhelm drives your actions or in this case, inaction right? You’re not doing anything. Now, let’s back it up and use the feeling of determined what might you need to think remember, think feel do? What might you need to think, to feel determine? And I say, let’s keep with the earlier thought today, I will choose and complete the top three priorities that allows you to feel determined. And when you feel determined, you start taking action. And guess what you will get the top three things done now. What I am offering you here is a tool to find ways to feel a certain way on purpose, right? I’m suggesting that you think of the thought that will make you feel determined, and then take the action in order to get these new results. But the other side of the feelings like I don’t know Triangle, whatever you want to call it comes with things like sadness, and grief. And in some of those life circumstances, death of a loved one, for example, I am not suggesting that you start finding, quote unquote, better thoughts to feel better. What I’m suggesting in this situation is that you sit with the feelings, and you process them, which basically means you allow yourself to feel it, maybe it’s crying, maybe it’s tightness in your chest, maybe it’s a racing heartbeat, maybe you feel like you have a bit of a shortness of breath, you simply sit, and you name what you are feeling like, I am feeling sad. And notice, might seem like slip slight semantics here. But I didn’t say I am sad, you are not you’re feeling you are feeling the feeling. And I want you to be the observer of what is going on in your body, I want you to be willing to feel it. And when we try to push it away, that usually adds another layer that we have to eventually deal with. The funny thing about feelings is they seem to just keep on coming back, I assure you of that I’ve tried the pushing away for a while, just keeps on coming back. This little change in the description, being the observer versus saying you are the feeling, it allows you to put some space from it, you are not your feelings, it’s like you’re taking them on a ride, let’s say for you with the day, the feelings are not in charge of driving. Heck, they’re not even in charge of the radio, okay. But as you name it and describe it, it will pass now, it might also come back. And that is okay. When we resist the feelings, and maybe it’s a certain feeling that you just don’t want to feel. It’s almost like a beach ball that you’re just trying to keep under water. And eventually, we all know what happens, right? The thing bounces up and often with a little bit of extra fury, right? Visualize that think about when you’re in the ocean, or I guess even in a pool, right? You keep trying to push the beach ball down under the water under the water and then it bounces back. I want you to think of being willing to feel the feelings almost like the beach ball is just floating next to you. Totally fine. Life is not meant to be all rainbows, daisies and butterflies. And that’s okay. In fact, if you want to check out some more research around this specifically with the idea of feeling stressed, check out le Crum CR u m, she is a mindset expert who studies the positive effects of stress at Stanford, she talks about stress enhancing benefits. So it’s not the same as like long term chronic stress. But her information is so fascinating. She discusses the importance of knowing how to use stress in your life to your advantage. Which brings me to the last idea of managing your energy and your time. You know what this talks about this, the idea of managing your energy actually is Molly Fletcher. I mean, listen, there’s a number of experts who talk about this. But I love Molly, I love her books and her podcast. So I figured I’ll just toss it out there for you to check her out. Energy comes from four different areas. We look at your body, emotions, mind and spirit. So the first question to ask here is how are you taking care of those four components in your life? Think about this. Something like working longer hours, for example, which I’m guessing one or two of you may or may not. Right. But that does not always mean that you’re getting more done. Sometimes you’re doing these things that either a you don’t even want to be doing right or B, maybe you’re doing these things and you’re not even moving the needle. So I want you to be thoughtful about what is important. What are the priorities, what needs to get done in order for you to accomplish your specific goal. And you need to ask yourself that there is a big difference in being busy versus being productive. Sometimes we just do do do to people, please. And if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and like everyone is pulling you in all the different directions, stop. Take a moment, take a breath. Other people do this stuff to you, and quotes right that you allow them to do. So the key is, you need to know what you want to do. Where can you say no? Where can you set boundaries for your own sanity? Remember, saying no to the stuff that you don’t want to do? allows you to open up yes to other opportunities. Sometimes we’re just so focused on thinking that if we say no, we’re losing out on something, but I want you to consider you might be opening up to an even better option. When you know what the priorities are. And you start planning them And this is where I want you to consider the idea of Parkinson’s Law. Basically, this says that work expands to fill the time allowed for completion. So start putting things on the calendar at specific times for specific time limits. And I will tell you, I cannot, for example, stand doing expense reports cannot stand, it cannot stand it cannot stand it. And I’m pretty confident that I am not the only salesperson in the world who would say this. But what I started doing is, well, I’ll be honest, I’m doing my best, it’s still a work in progress. But on Fridays, I have set aside 30 minutes scheduled to do expense reports. And I will tell you, when I set my brain in that direction, and when you set your brain in that direction, I don’t get so sidetracked, right? Because then I’m not like, oh, wait, I should maybe text this person about something next week. Or maybe I should make my Things To Do list for next Tuesday. All these things, that seems so much more important than doing my expense report. giving yourself the time. And putting your brain to a specific test will allow you to get it done much more efficiently. Your brain is designed to it wants to be able to complete the tasks that you are giving it right. Knowing this idea has truly truly truly helped me get so much more done in life. And sometimes people will say, Well, I don’t know how long it will take me to do, I don’t know how long to put on the schedule for it. To which I will suggest just start somewhere scheduled a time. If you finish ahead of time bonus, then you get to do what you want with that extra time. And if you run out of time, good to know for the next time, right, you’ll plan accordingly. The next time I heard this great quote today, failure is Feedback for Future fortune. I love that right? There’s so much fortune for us friends. We just need to know how to be successful. And really taking control and empowering ourselves in a way that allows us to feel less stressed and overwhelmed and be able to do more of what we want. Okay. Now, I know there was a lot of that episode, right? So always feel free to reach out to me directly with any questions. And I’m starting to open up some limited spaces for private coaching again, so if you want to learn more, just send me a DM on the socials at Michelle Burke coaching and remember Bourque is BOURQUE or of course you can send an email contact at Michellebourquecoaching.com and we will get it worked out. We’ll get it on the schedule right? planned accordingly. Okay friends, that’s what I have for you today. Make it a great day. Take care Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin

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