Ep 277 The Untold ABC’s of High Achievers

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Join me today as I discuss the untold ABC’s of high achievers.  This week I am challenging you to question some deeply held beliefs around your worthiness, what accomplishment means and how you can feel less overwhelmed and stressed as you continue to strive for your goals.

In this episode: 

  • High achievers’ untold beliefs and the lie of perfectionism. 0:00
  • Embracing discomfort for growth and balance in work and life. 6:38
  • Prioritizing tasks that matter most, delegating others, and avoiding busyness
  • The importance of taking risks and learning from failures to grow.
  • Mindset, consistency, and perfection. 8:38
  • Challenging the idea of perfectionism, and suggesting that striving for imperfection can lead to greater consistency and a more fulfilling life.
  • Perfectionism and its impact on growth. 12:55
  • Begin implementing ABCs of high achievers to overcome feeling stuck and overwhelmed.

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Episode Transcript – Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits

You are listening to the It’s Your Time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. In today’s episode, I’m discussing the untold ABCs of high achievers. Unknown Speaker 0:12 Welcome to the It’s Your Time Podcast, the podcast, we’re busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place. Unknown Speaker 0:36 Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends. Okay, this one might touch on some nerves, and might make your brain explode a little. And you also might not agree with what I have to say. And guess what? That’s okay. I just want to share some ideas today that might go against every strongly held belief system, especially if you’re a high achiever that you have had for years and years. But that’s what I’m here for right to have you question your brain question what it’s telling you, and then you decide if you want to keep thinking it if you want to keep that belief system. And you know, I always say if it works for you, rocket. And then if not, maybe you start considering some other options, I want you to think about if you’re someone who is maybe drowning in work, or if you feel like your family or your partner, like they just don’t get it because you have so much to do. Well, then you might want to continue listening. Okay, I’m talking about the untold ABCs of high achievers, and specifically I want to talk about like accomplishment for high achievers. And then towards the end, I’m going to add a little bit about the lie that you’re telling yourself around being a perfectionist, and how that actually hold you back on truly living life in a way that let’s face it, maybe you don’t feel so completely batshit crazy, right? Because you’re feeling so overwhelmed. So let’s go ahead and dive in. I wanted to share this topic today because I have been having a number of conversations with leaders. And I’ve been listening to a couple of podcasts recently. And it seems to be a very similar theme across the board. And I think it’s super important. So let’s start with what I mean when I say the unheard or untold ABCs of high achievers a action. We know high achievers love to take action. But what I want to discuss is the importance of taking action on things that matter most. And being willing to take in action on things that do not matter. There are many high achievers who love the dopamine hit of crossing off the checklist of having a sense of accomplishment. And I get it. That is also me at times, you know, anything I talk about here is because I have gone through it myself. And I can see on the other side, what can be so helpful to honestly, sometimes our sanity. But here’s what I find with some of the highest, most successful folks, especially like entrepreneurs, right? They know how to prioritize that list, and focus on the things that will move the needle versus being busy, busy, busy. And I see this all the time, the desire to talk about how busy one is or how they were up all night working, or how nothing ever seems to end, the list just keeps on going on. But folks who’s in charge of that list, you are, which is great news, you’re in complete control, right? Sometimes that work on the things that you’re doing that the list just keeps piling up, it could have been delegated, which would in fact free up more time for you to do what gay Hendrickson talks about in his book, The Big Leap, he talks about the things that are in your zone of genius. You’ve heard me say this over and over here, busy, is not the same as productive. And I was recently talking to a colleague about streamlining something. And then I had a joke with her because you might have thought that I had said I plan to sit around at the pool and eat bonbons all day was like, What do you mean, you want to do less of like no streamlining, and it might seem like doing less initially, and doing less for some folks might sound crazy. But when we can take a pause and be intentional. We can see where we have opportunities to build on and to grow and to make changes in our life that are actually going to be sustainable. And another thing that comes to mind around the A’s when we’re talking about ABCs of some of the best achievers is that they know not everything in life has to be done at an A level. What you might think this is blasphemy, right? A lot of us have been socialized to believe that we must always get A’s. Let me just fill you in on a little something Unknown Speaker 5:00 I know that’s how it worked in school. In fact, I used to receive like a buck from my empathy for every single A that I got. And if I gotta be, I was often asked, why wasn’t it a B, Unknown Speaker 5:11 you do not become a better person, because you’re doing everything at a level, I want you to think about that. So often we tie our worthiness to our accomplishments. And thinking that things need to always be a level will sometimes have us thinking that that’s where we get our worthiness. And I’m so excited, I just got the book worthy, which talks about this, I cannot wait to share it with you. That is not the case, though you are not worthy. Because you do a level work, you’re not a better person, because you do a level work. We are all working. And you know what happens when you’re able to shift that mindset to things. You often have these like super high standards that you’ve set for yourself. And by the way, for those people around you, that everything needs to be done perfectly right? You will step in maybe to fix things or do them over which on a couple levels. Number one, it doesn’t really help to promote or trust the team that you have, right? It doesn’t give that feeling that, hey, listen, I think you can do it too. And I like the way you do it. And it might also sometimes stunt the growth of those around you and your team being able to bring diversity of thought, because maybe once they start seeing that, you’re just going to do it anyways, they stopped doing it. But maybe it’s just as important when you’re thinking that everything needs to be a level that you take a moment to pause and question. Why? The reason is often because we are afraid to try new things to go out of our comfort zone, because we are afraid to fail. But when we fail, we learn. When we learn, we grow. And being in that discomfort. That is where the gold is being willing to do that work to get through it on the other side is that opportunity for growth. So this brings me now to be be willing to do B level work. Unknown Speaker 7:12 I know right? craziness, here’s the thing, I like to have a balance of ABC work and my life. So when I think of a level B work, or let me just start with Level A, when I think of level a work, I think of my interactions with patients and doctors as my first priority. These are the actions that truly affect other humans, right. And if I am not at a level A for attention to detail, things could really go wrong. When I’m thinking and willing to do billable work. One idea that actually comes to mind is maybe this podcast, it is not perfect. I do my best to be intentional with the content to be thoughtful, and what I think might be helpful to you. But you know what, I’m not a podcaster by trade, right? I’m here, putting this work out in the world to help you. And if I waited until I thought I had to do everything perfectly aligned. I had to research, I had to make sure every single line was properly typed out and spaced and the transcript was perfect. Well, we wouldn’t be sitting here at Episode 277, I have to tell you, right, I would still be sitting in the closet, Mark’s closet, by the way afraid to get started. That is how it all got started. You know, I used to record in Mark’s closet. Unknown Speaker 8:24 We have since upgraded but the thing is, you need to get started. You need to be willing to make mistakes, and you learn. And I also want to just say as a side note, specifically, even with the example of the podcast, right? It’s the way that we talk to ourselves after we do the B level work. So for example, I’ve had folks reach out to me and say, hey, it doesn’t look like your link is working when you post it or hey, you know, you misspelled this on your post. I am so appreciative for folks who do that, because then I can make sure that it gets corrected for the other folks that want to learn about whatever the weekly episode is, I do not then go back and shame myself and tell myself how terrible I am. And I should just stop doing this. Because clearly it’s not a level work. It’s not 100% Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Give yourself compassion along the way, if you in fact are going to take the opportunity to shift that mindset and to start thinking that you know what, it doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. And when you’re able to do that, you will not feel so overwhelmed. You will try things you will grow exponentially. And I’m telling you sometimes you will probably totally surprise yourself. When I started working on shifting that mindset when I was willing to do B level work. I have to tell you, I have been able to accomplish so much more in my life and not feel as stressed and listen. You can just start with one area of your life. Just pick it I’m not saying you have to like across the board, change everything that you do. Just dip your little toe in there. Unknown Speaker 10:00 Get Started, give yourself some grace along the way. Because that is one of the biggest things. Again, the way you talk to yourself when things are not done in your mind perfectly, is everything. And I am actually going to touch on perfection before we close this up. But I want to first start talking about the C’s of ABCs. So C is going to be consistency. When you look at high achievers, they are consistent, and they have discipline, the results that you have in your life are from the things that you do daily, they are from your habits. And maybe sometimes this level work could even be called sea level work on certain days, dare I say that? What comes to mind for me here is working out. I love working out every day. For me movement is medicine, it is more for my mental sanity versus probably the physical benefits. In fact, I remember an old colleague one day calling me out, he was like you didn’t get your run in today. To which of course, I responded, what do you mean? It totally changes my energy. And I know I love it. But there are some days that I just don’t feel like doing it. But what I have done is that I’ve made an agreement with myself that I will just get downstairs, start with 10 minutes minimum. And then if I still don’t feel like doing it, I can quit. But what I always find is that every single time I get started, I feel my energy shift. And I keep going I remind myself, this is why I do it. And typically, then I am like off to the races, right? I add on all these different ideas as far as what the workout was going to look like. Versus if I had told myself, the only way you can do this right is 30 minutes of cardio 30 minutes of weights, don’t forget your yoga, since you’re getting older. It’s just not going to work, right? Unknown Speaker 11:54 You have to stop telling yourself that if it’s not all, then it just doesn’t count. Because if I thought like 10 minutes wouldn’t even count, I wouldn’t get my butt down there. Right? Our brains are so crazy. We tell ourselves 1015 minutes is really not worth it. But we think zero minutes is much better. Like you have to question everything. 15 minutes might seem like sea level work, but it is exactly what allows me to be consistent. And that for me is the life that I want to build. Okay, let’s wrap it up with a touch of perfection talk here. And what I want to just start by saying is that it is not necessarily very useful for us to be telling ourselves that we are perfectionist or that we have to do everything perfectly. Number one, there is no such thing, nobody is perfect. What you are is somebody who is often breeding yourself for not being or not doing enough, that is not perfection. And so I just encourage you to consider some new ideas. I’ve been reading the book hidden potential by Adam Grant highly recommend. And also FYI, I’ve been totally digging his podcast, it’s called rethinking. But in his book, he talks about the three things that perfectionist tend to get wrong. Number one, they obsess about details that don’t matter, they are being too busy finding solutions to tiny problems that lack the discipline to actually find the right problems to solve. Number two, they can’t see the forest in the trees, meaning they avoid unfamiliar situations and tasks that might lead to failure. This leaves them refining a narrow set of skills rather than developing new ones. And number three, I touched upon this, they braid and shame themselves for making mistakes, which we know when we are too busy shaming ourselves. What we are not doing is learning. And I heard an awesome podcast quote, or a quote from a podcast. I guess that really kind of sums this up. And it’s a great question. Are you educating your future self or shaming your past self? Let that land on a daily basis? are you educating your future self or shaming your past self choose that wisely my friend one is far more useful than the other. Perfectionism might be what actually leaves you feeling stuck or not having you achieve some of your greatest potential, beating yourself up. That is not the way to get things done. beating yourself up just leaves you bruised, right? It’s not the way most people learn. And on the opposite side, being kind to yourself or celebrating yourself. That does not mean that you are ignoring your weaknesses. It means that you are taking the time to get your mind straight and your thoughts in line with what is most useful for you. You know what, some days you might not have 100% Maybe you have 50% And you give 50% technically that means you are giving 100% On those days, right and that is Unknown Speaker 15:00 can be enough. What if that was true? What if being willing to take intentional action versus being busy? Is the answer to not feeling so overwhelmed? What if being willing to do B level work is what accelerates your growth potential? What if consistency meant that you were willing to take the smallest of steps consistently to build lasting change? Unknown Speaker 15:29 If you’re feeling stuck, and overwhelmed, Unknown Speaker 15:33 and you do want to evolve, guess what? You can start by implementing the ABCs of high achievers. You can start by finding places in your life that you can begin implementing these ideas and then watch your world change. Okay, friends, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s meet back here next week but for now, make it a great day. Take care Unknown Speaker 16:02 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one, go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin

 

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