Ep 268 Women in Leadership: Influence and Connection

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Join me in the third installment of the Women in Leadership series.  Today I am discussing Influence and Connection and the hurdles women face with both competencies.

In this episode:

  • Influential leadership competencies with Carla Harris. 1:35
  • Overcoming self-doubt in asking for what you want in life and work. 3:04
    • The importance of making the ask in personal and professional settings, highlighting the need to clarify what you want and quantify the value you bring.
  • Building mutually beneficial relationships in leadership. 6:04
  • Networking and building relationships for career growth. 7:34
    • Building a diverse network and being intentional in connecting with others.
    • Connect with someone online for mutual benefit and potential influence in their lives.

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Episode Transcript: (Edited by OtterAI with minimal edits)

You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque and today’s episode I’m discussing women in leadership, influence and connection. Welcome to the richer time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule so you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the podcast friends. Okay, let’s jump right into today’s conversation as we bring in the second to last episode of the women in leadership series. Now as a reminder, or in case you missed it, the last couple of weeks, I have been sharing some of the tools and ideas from the recent women and leadership conference that I attended, which was put on by linkage. And again, linkage is a global leadership development firm committed to advancing women and accelerating inclusion and leaders and organizations, for sure, check them out on LinkedIn. And week one, I talked about awareness, internal bias and our inner critic. And last week, I discussed clarity and proving your value. And today I’m going to talk about two more competencies within the six critical leadership skills that were presented, and the hurdles associated with them. So today, we are talking about being influential, and connected. And let’s start with the behaviors that are comprised under each competency. So for influential, the first one is high competency. So for example, I demonstrate exceptional job relevant knowledge and achievement of results. The next one listed asked for what I want in need, and with an expectation that I may get it. That’s a nice little addition to the sentence right not only ask but expect that you will get it deliver messages in a way that leads others to listen and act have an impact on important decisions that are made in the organization and skillfully compliment formal authority with effective personal influence. Now let’s unpack this a little bit. And as a quick reminder, I did mention in earlier episodes, the speakers that were for each competency and for influence, Carla Harris was the presenter. She is a senior client advisor at Morgan Stanley and she has multiple books, she is a gospel singer, amazing, she actually sang for us. So good. And she has extensive experience with her over a 30 plus year career. She was so energetic, I just loved her. And I encourage you to check her out on the socials. And I am just getting started with her book lead to win. So I may have a thing or two more to say as we go through 2024 About Carla Harris loved her. Now, I think the behaviors are fairly straightforward in all of the competencies, it’s unpacking of the hurdles, where I think we can gain the most insight. And the hurdle around being influential is making the ask, ask for what you want. In order to make the ask you need to make sure you are clear on what the ask is right? You are clear on what you want. And we talked about that last week, under clarity. The thing is, as women, we are not naturally conditioned to ask for what we want, you likely have no problem asking for things for others, for your kids, for loved ones, for colleagues. But for yourself. It’s a different story. Maybe you think, Oh, I just don’t want to bother anyone, or what I have now. And where I’m at is pretty good. Let’s not rock the boat. Or maybe you didn’t even know that you could ask and remember all of this work that I talked about here. I do it with you. So those thoughts are also thoughts that I for sure have had. But again, remember, we do not always have to believe our thoughts. I love what Jennifer Mccollum says in her book called in her voice. When we’re talking about making the ask, she suggests that we start thinking more broadly, not only about what we’re asking for, but when so thinking about how you can consistently and persistently ask for things. Ask for things that make the biggest difference and create the career and the life that you want, which I’m always talking about here, right? Like, what are you doing? What do you want? What do you want your life to look like? We get to work on building that and I’m creating it. So where can you enter? greedy asks, In a natural progression of your personal and professional life, use the big and the small opportunities. And when you see an opening that is in alignment with what you want, grab it, she gives a couple of steps in her book on how to make the ask. And again, I encourage you to check out this book, she goes way more in depth than we will hear today. But the first step she talks about is clarifying what you want, and the why behind it. Number two, quantify the value that you bring. Number three, determine the right timing and the best medium for the delivery. And number four, she has a formula that she uses, and it’s called the three P’s. So she talks about the importance of including the point, the proof, and the possibility, and then she adds the importance of practice, practice making the ask so that you are more comfortable with it when it is game time. And she suggest reach out to your advisors. Ask as we evolve as a leader, for others to help you like look at your network to help you along the way. Which brings us to the next competency of connection. And the behaviors under the competency of connected or connection include realize the power and importance of having mutually beneficial relationships with colleagues. And I just want to point out one thing here before I continue mutually beneficial. Networking doesn’t have to be this scary thing, where you think it’s all about? How can somebody else help you know, it goes both ways, mutually beneficial, also included under the behaviors. Actively establish and leverage a broad network of relationships inside and outside of your organization. Look for opportunities to connect with others and contribute to the success of those in your network, create personal connections with others, demonstrating openness and appreciation of their viewpoints, and support and promote the credibility of colleagues. And the hurdle women face around the competency of connection is in fact, networking at its core. Now, at its core networking is simply establishing and leveraging up bunch of relationships, consider being open to a broad variety of folks both inside and outside of your organization. And I remember one of my previous coaches, she used to say, I might not be able to help you. But I might know someone seven layers back then can help you and I always remind my mentees of that statement. You never know. You never know what connections people have, and how you might be able to help them along the way. It’s also important to remember, I had a mentor who told me years ago, it’s not only who you know, it’s who knows you. So when those opportunities arise, you want to be on people’s radar, you want them to know what you want. You want them to know that you can do the job. And you want them to know that again, you have interest in it right? So broad network, asking yourself, How can I be intentional here? What is the goal? And what can you offer? Knowing and having the skill of prioritizing your network is super important and look at where you can give and receive specific help be authentic in these relationships. I will often suggest curiosity, right? Just be genuinely curious, as a human being. And people love talking about themselves. You never know what you might find out as you are just being genuinely, authentically curious, and how, as you’re having discussions, you can connect in ways that help each other. And just think about like investing in your finances right? Think about this is in a similar fashion with investing in your networking, and your network. Diversify, you never know who you can meet. Your network might include senior leadership in your organization. It might include sponsors, it might include partners, you might have mentors, you might have coaches, you might have teachers, like there are so many different forms of networking and building relationships. So be open to what it can all look like and pay attention and just the simple day to day activities where you can network. And remember, be clear on what the ask would be for you. Michelle Bourque 9:55 So you need to if you haven’t already listened to the episode on clarity and being clear, I would suggest going back because you need to be clear on number one, what is it that you want? And once you have that in alignment, you know that it’s much easier to make the ask based on what it is that you want, right? Have you seen a theme here friends, know what you want, be clear with what you want and start going after it. We are going to talk about the last competency and the final episode of this series, which is bold. So stay tuned for that because that will wrap it all up like a nice little gift. put a bow on it right? It’s a good one. But for this week, let’s start with one small step. Who can you connect with? And listen, this isn’t like back in the day. Creepy speed dating mindset it is you simply start out by connecting with someone online. And hey, if you want an easy connection, use me I am for sure on LinkedIn. I am on socials at Michelle Berg coaching. We can all use some help out there these days. And having and making a ripple effect in the world is one of the goals that we have here. And I love that you’re listening. But for you to get the most benefit, you have to start taking action. One simple Step, connect with someone who you think could make up a mutually beneficial relationship in your life where you might both have the opportunity to be influential in each other’s life. How fun would that be? Okay, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s be back here next week. But friends can you believe it will be the second to last episode. I’m looking forward to it. That’s what I have for you today. Let’s be back here next week but for now, make it a great day. Take care Michelle Bourque 11:52 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michelle Burt coaching.com and click on get started to begin

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