Ep 267 Women in Leadership: Clarity and Proving Your Value

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Join me as I continue the series Women in Leadership recap. Today I am talking about Clarity and Proving Your Value.

In This Episode:

Women in leadership, clarity, and self-worth.0:00

Leadership competencies and hurdles for women.1:43

Self-awareness and personal growth for women.4:58

Proving value and working smarter, not harder.9:01

Prioritizing tasks and delegating work for personal growth.12:36

Prioritize their energy and focus on what truly matters, rather than trying to prove their value.

Strategies for overcoming the hurdle of proving one’s value, including delegating tasks and letting go of non-aligned work.


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Episode Transcript: (Transcribed with OtterAI with minimal edits)

You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. And today’s episode, I’m discussing women in leadership, clarity and proving your value. Welcome to the it’s your time Podcast, the podcast, we’re busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place. Hello, hello. Hello. Welcome back to the podcast friends. How are you doing today? Can I just take a moment and tell you how much I love it. When I meet you in person. And you mentioned how you listen to the podcast or follow on the socials, especially LinkedIn with the posts. It is so much fun, I cannot thank you enough. And I just want to let you know, it really brings me so much joy. Thank you. Okay, we are in full swing of the holidays. And we are closing out the year. And I am very curious as to how you are feeling about all of it. And then I’m even more curious to know, how do you want to feel about all of it? Because the answers might be two totally different responses, right? Let’s focus over the next couple of weeks. On the second part of the question, how do you want to feel and then work from that lens each day, each week, each month moving into 2024. And think about how you want to feel when you end this month. Let’s just start by thinking about that. When we can be intentional with how we want to show up. It makes all the difference. Okay, we are going to be moving forward with a bit of what I want to share from the recent women and leadership conference that I had the privilege of attending. And I had mentioned, I wanted to kind of close out this year with sharing some of the tools. And all of the great things that I learned there actually probably won’t be all of it, but a portion of it because there was so much value in it. And again, when I’m talking about this competency model, it’s based on what linkage is discussing and what they did discuss at the conference. And I’m also talking about the hurdles that we women especially face. So let’s go ahead and dive in to this week’s episode. And just as a reminder, last week, I discussed the importance of awareness. And we looked at the inner critic, as well as internal bias. And today I want to talk about two more competencies and the hurdles that you might find aligning with them. So the first competency is going to be clear. And the second one is inspiring. And just one more quick reminder, in case you missed last week’s episodes, the competencies are bold, inspiring, clear, connected, influential. And then all of them circle the competency of awareness. So what does it mean to create future leadership vision with clarity? According to linkage, the clear Competency consists of the following project a compelling future vision for who you want to be as a leader and or how you want to contribute in the working world. Number two, communicate opinions clearly and accurately. Number three, demonstrate creativity and developing and or improving ideas and concepts. Number four, distill ideas into focused messages that inspire support, or bring action from others. And number five, clearly define and communicate the strategic direction and according to linkage under inspiring so we’re looking at clear and inspiring today. Under inspiring the behaviors consist of number one, being an authentic leader, know who you are, and what you believe and act in accordance number two, regardless of how tough your behavior standards or style are, you balance it with genuine warmth and compassion. Number three, you bring out the best in people and teams. Number four, you spend more time engaging, inspiring and enabling others rather than trying to do it all yourself. Listen to that one, ladies. As I for myself as a reminder to and we will get into this because that’s a big one. Spend more time engaging, inspiring and enabling others rather than trying to do it all yourself. Number five, stimulate strong commitment to collective efforts through praise and recognition of individual contributors. And they all seem pretty straightforward, right? But straightforward, my friend It is not the same as easy. So what are the hurdles that tend to get in the way of these competencies because we need to know what that is right, in order to make the changes in order to improve on the competencies. And Jennifer McAllen, the CEO of linkage goes in depth on all of the hurdles in her book in her own voice. And today, I will touch on two of the hurdles, she discusses specific to these competencies. So let’s start with clarity. If you have been with me for any length of time, you probably know this story. I had a coach years ago, who as we were having the conversation just stopped and said, Michelle, what do you want? And I have to tell you, I was stumped. Michelle Bourque 5:47 And I think that there are many women that face this, we don’t take the time to stop, to explore, to dream to think about, what do you want. And again, everything I talked about here, I want you to always be listening through the filter of what serves you at this time. So I’m speaking in general terms today around mostly professional topics. But all of this can pertain to your personal life as well. What do you want, having clarity, in fact, is living through the filter of knowing what you want, what you value, and it allows you the opportunity to make decisions and your life, for the things that you most want, for you to say no to the things that you don’t want. And to know that you get to create all of that versus thinking life is just happening to you. Big difference, but the rub comes in, because we have been socialized to take care of others. And we are not encouraged to take care of ourselves. Ask yourself, what does success look like? And I’m curious, when you discuss that? Does your answer center around the lens of how it will benefit others? Or are you describing it in a way where you get to live on apologetically. And I say that because I want to remind you, you also get to change what success looks like for you as you evolve. So maybe in one season of your life, you’re all about getting a title, or maybe a transitions and then you’re more about the money. And then maybe it takes another turn and you are all about being the most amazing mom. And then maybe it takes another turn, we’re really successful. It’s like finding ways to integrate all of it in a way that doesn’t feel overwhelming. It gets to look different, but you have to know what that is for you. And let me just share an example with you. So for years, and I don’t even know that I realized it at the time. But again, a coach pointed out to me, so a plug for coaching, that is the beauty man, you have someone not in it with you. So they can show you things that you might not see when you are in it. But she pointed out that in many of my actions, and how I was feeling I was basically apologizing for my life, specifically because of not having kids like I should be doing life different because I should have had kids, or I should be working harder because I don’t have kids. Do you know how much energy is wasted in that space? Do you know how much I likely even maybe held myself back or overworked because I thought since I wasn’t a mom, I should you know, quote unquote, make up for it. And sometimes friends when you are in that when you’re constantly feeling like you’re apologizing for your life, you just keep going and going and going and not being strategic with what you want, because you’re not clear on what matters most to you. And this leads me into the second hurdle to discuss which is proving your value. But before I get into that, I just want to suggest an idea on how to create clarity. I want to encourage you to take 10 minutes. And by all means if you want to take more than that, please do feel free. But I want you to at least get started. It does not have to be this big, huge project. Just get started and even 10 minutes, okay, I will even give you five minutes. If you’re trying to give me any pushback on 10 minutes is just too much. You don’t have the time. This is creating your life friends, you have the time. Okay, so take the five or 10 minutes and just think like daydream or write down and I will say there is science behind the benefits of actually writing down what you are looking to accomplish here. So I would lean towards that. But if you can even just think about it as you drive with no other distractions going on. I want you to consider Earl, what are the results that you most want to achieve in your life? What does that look like for you? Think about what that means. As far as how you show up on a random Tuesday, what your health looks like, what your relationships look like, what are you doing that brings you the most joy? What does work look like? Imagine all of it and then start living in a way that you make the decisions and live your purpose around this vision. Okay, so now, the hurdle of proving your value by McMullen. Now, in the book, the chapter starts with, stop doing so much. Work smarter, not harder. And I see this all the time especially. And this industry, people want to tell you how busy they are. And I always say, take it with a grain of salt, because busy does not always mean productive. Busy, does not have to be this badge of honor that we have been socialized to believe is necessary. And as I say that full transparency, I still work on this as well, especially around the idea of my identity being so tightly wound to being a quote unquote, hard worker, it has been an ingrained belief that you have to work hard in order to be successful in order to make money. But when we are thinking like that, sometimes we are just running around thinking we need to do it. All right, because when we do it all, and then we’re working harder, which means we must be successful question that question that at work question at home. And I think that we often just think I will put my head down, I am going to work hard and people will notice. And not only will they notice, but they will acknowledge my value. Spoiler alert, here’s what I’ve learned over the years. They don’t usually you need to tell them. And oftentimes, there is this perfectionistic mindset behind this working hard like, I know how to do it all. And there’s the follow up pesky thought right of i have to do it myself. And I will also add another layer that we often think especially if I want it done right. Am I alone here? I don’t think so. But when we’re thinking that it prevents us from stepping into leadership roles, being a leader is allowing others the opportunity to shine to grow, dare I say to support you? Because here’s the thing, sometimes it does seem easier to just do it yourself. But guy Hendrik talks about this in his book, The Big Leap? Are you doing things that can actually be easily delegated? Or are you doing things that are in your zone of genius, doing the things that allow you to move the needle in your life versus just being busy on minor tasks that can truly be done by others or sometimes just deleted off the list entirely. And let me tie this back to the importance of having clarity. In order to grow in the competency of being inspiring of being a leader, you need to have increased the competency of being clear through having clarity and listen, I do still love working and I am not saying just kick back, eat your bonbons and sit at the pool. But what I want you to consider is are you working hard towards your goals? Or are you working hard to prove your value? There is a difference and McCollum suggest five strategies in her book to overcome the hurdle of proving your value. Number one, stop trying to do it all. Number two, let go of work that is not aligned to your aspirations. Number three, get more comfortable saying no. And I might even just say like, listen, sometimes it is uncomfortable, but you still do it right? Okay, number four, release the need to be perfect. And number five, enlist and inspire others to do work that you can delegate. And if we want to continue to grow and evolve, we need to be able to organize our energy. You need to think about what deserves your energy. And again, the answer will likely change as you grow and evolve that is perfectly delightful. Just start by being committed with allowing yourself the time to get clear on what all of that is. Okay, friends, listen. I have a free guide if you need help with this that can help you look at your priorities and begin scheduling your life in a way that works for you. To help you gain clarity and hopefully help you be able to feel more confident in knowing that you don’t need to prove your value. You are valuable. So head over to Michellebourquecoaching.com/overwhelm to get started and if you want to take To the next layer, feel free to check out the six week coaching program. Michellebourquecoaching.com/integrate where I include modules each week. There’s email coaching, so much goodness and it’s only $47 Okay, that is what I have for you today. Let’s meet back here next week but for now, make it a great day. Take care Michelle Bourque 15:28 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one, go to MichelleBouruqecoaching.com and click on get started to begin


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