Ep 255 The #1 Myth with Self Care

Join me this week as I discuss the #1 Myth with Self Care.

Top take-a-ways in this episode:

• Intro to the episode.0:00
  • Today’s episode is all about the number one myth around self-care, the importance of taking control of one’s schedule and increasing energy and reducing stress.
  • The main topic of this episode is self- care.
• Taking care of yourself is not selfish.1:24
  • Taking care of yourself is not selfish. This is a myth that many of us have for a long time.
  • You have permission to do the same for yourself.
• The myth of taking care of yourself.3:26
  • The myth that taking care of oneself means that someone else suffers, or that others will suffer.
  • The importance of getting crystal clear on priorities and building a relationship with yourself.
  • The importance of self-care, including the decisions you make in your life on a daily basis and the choices you are making.
  • The first step in deciding what changes to make.
• The key to successful self-care.6:48
  • Take some time over the next week to pay attention to where you are prioritizing yourself and make small changes that will lead to greater self-care.
  • There is no right or wrong answer.
• The importance of taking care of yourself.8:50
  • Michelle wants to show the younger girls that it is okay to take care of yourself. She wants to inspire others to prioritize their own well-being as well.
  • Michelle offers a six week coaching program that includes weekly content, email accountability coaching and personalized email coaching.  www.michellebourquecoaching.com/confidence

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Episode Transcript: Transcribed with OtterAI and minimal edits

You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque, and today’s episode I’m discussing the number one myth around self care.

Welcome to the It’s Your time Podcast, the podcast, we’re busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Michelle Bourque 0:36 Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends. Can I please just take a moment and say, Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reaching out. I love hearing from you and how this is helping you and as any good salesperson would do, I also have an ask, Will you please feel free to share, especially this episode, if it resonates? All of the episodes, quite frankly, would be what I would ask for. But this one I think is so important, because there are a lot of folks, especially women who can benefit from the reminders that I’m going to talk about today, in this episode with the number one myth around self care as being the main topic. So let’s go ahead and dive in. And I want to tell you how I kind of thought about this for this week. I was talking to a colleague, and she was in the hospital after ignoring multiple signs that she was not in her best health for the past couple of weeks. And she told me, I guess I just have to be more selfish and start taking care of myself. Ladies, first thing, taking care of yourself is not selfish. This is a myth that somewhere along the lines we have started to believe or, and shame is a started to write I think we many of us have for a long time, I get it. And this just happened to me over the weekend. For some reason I was exhausted, I’m sure has nothing to do with my challenging sleep habits. But I did my things in the morning, I had plans for the afternoon. And I just felt like there was a cement brick on my body. And I decided to lay on the couch and relax in the afternoon. And this is so not me. And it has not happened in a long time. I think Marc might have even been a little bit worried that something was not right. But all of the thoughts came to me and you might have some of them when this happens. You have things to do. Don’t be lazy, you shouldn’t be doing this. People are doing way more than you are today. And then I had to on purpose, choose to speak to myself in a way that was kind. And I actually had to think back to the conversation that I had where I was all kind of up and preachy with my colleague about the importance of self care. And so I decided to have a similar approach to the situation for myself. You have permission to do the same for yourself, can we please take a collective moment to just have a breath and let that land, taking care of yourself not only benefits you it also helps everyone around you. And we often get this wrong. We think taking care of ourselves means that someone else suffers. What if that was another myth? What if it wasn’t true? What if you have just been wrong about that? Here’s the thing. As adults, we get overbooked, over extended, over committed and we think that everything must be equal. And this sets up unrealistic expectations and increases our stress levels, especially women. The thing is, we have to realize that the things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least, everything is not urgent and important and equal, we need to be able to have a focus filter. And as busy professional women, you likely often prioritize a lot of the external stuff at the expense of yourself. And this often comes from societal expectations. Women are often expected to prioritize the needs of others before their own, and might even feel guilty, right or selfish for taking this time for yourself when there are other demands on your time. But the fact is, in order to expand in all areas of your life, to be able to excel in your career, without the stress and overwhelm, and be able to do more of what you want. You need to start getting crystal clear on your priorities and ensure that you have one of them. You need to be willing to build the most important relationship that you have in your life and that is the one that you have with yourself. And when I discuss self care here, I am not necessarily talking, massages and bubble baths, and facials. And these are often the things that we’ve learned from the patriarchal system that self care is something that has to do with like, how we look better, which is so crazy, because self care, what I’m talking about here is at a much deeper level, I want you to think about self care, including the decisions that you make in your life on a daily basis, the choices you are making, especially for the big choices that you’re making, the new job, the move, the partner, the promotion, is the importance you weave through all of the life that you are creating. Michelle Bourque 5:45 Did you hear me on that? It is the importance that you weave through all of the life that you are creating, it is not running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to make everyone else happy. There is a place for doing that. And that is something that you can also choose to prioritize, but not at the expense of yourself. And you need to have your back along the way, no matter what outcome you receive for each decision, meaning, if things don’t go quite as expected, you maybe need to slow down in order to speed up. Or maybe you have to take a turn and do something that wasn’t fully on your plan. At those times, perhaps maybe you didn’t get the result that you expected. These are the times all of them when you need to speak to yourself in kind ways as you go. And gaining awareness on how you are currently taking care of yourself is the first step in deciding what changes to make. So I really want to encourage you to take some time today, over the next week and pay attention. Where are you prioritizing yourself? And if you are not, why not? Where can you start making small changes in order to take steps that will lead you to greater self care. Because an important key to successful self care is planning the life that you most want to live. Don’t let your priorities go to the wayside. Meaning your priorities not just everyone else’s priorities. Also, don’t let your priorities go to the wayside. Because if you don’t plan your life, someone else will listen, I’ve been there, I get it, you have to be intentional and take control. And sure self care is something that you are planning on are the commitments that you make to yourself, your brain wants to have focus, give it the important tasks to focus on. Because having a self care routine can help you to reduce stress, improve your physical health, it can boost mental health, it can even increase your productivity. And guess what, when you’re able to improve in all of those areas, everyone else also truly benefits. And I just want to kind of end by reminding you, there is no right or wrong answer here. You have agency in your life to determine what this looks like. For some folks, it can be working out in the morning. For some it might just be taking two minutes to catch your breath in the car before you go in and face the chaos of which your house is it gets to look different. And as we close, I want you to consider that you are not only doing self care for yourself. Again, it is not selfish. But you’re also setting a positive example because by prioritizing self care, you can set a positive example for others in their lives, including children and colleagues. This is such a huge goal for me. We need to show the younger girls that it is okay to take care of yourself. This you being willing to do this can inspire others to prioritize their own well being as well. Oh, and guess what? Back to the whole I relaxed on Saturday afternoon didn’t do my plans. You’ll never imagine but the toilet was still there to clean Sunday morning. The dirt on the carpets was still able to be vacuumed the next day. The sheets were just as happy to be changed the next afternoon as they were the day I had originally planned and to boot. The food was still available to prep, right? Sometimes we tell ourselves that we have to do this Guess what? It’s usually all they’re waiting for us. And the tools that I teach here are life changing. This is how you get through the day today. And I know because I use them daily. And I love hearing from clients who are seeing new results results that they never even imagine. Self Care is a recurring topic for so many women that I work with and if you want more help with this, I really encourage you to go check out My six week coaching program, it is one of the full weeks. And the way it’s set up is a very personalized approach which allows you to make the changes that you want in order to live life in a way that works for you. So you receive the best of both worlds because you get weekly content that you do in a way that works for your schedule, you will get an audio component to it as well as actionable worksheets to be able to implement into your life. And then you also have personalized email accountability coaching to keep you on track. So every week you receive the audio, the workbook and an opportunity to apply the topic to a specific situation and your life. Midweek accountability check ins will allow you via email the opportunity to receive coaching from me and gain clarity on what you are specifically working on for each topic. And this combo allows you the chance to learn and implement in a way that works for you and how you make the changes that you most desire. And it is all included in one payment of $47. So go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com/confidence to get started. Okay, friends, please remember to let this land you have permission to live the life you want to in a way that works for you. And we need more women in the world doing that. Okay, remember, share this please with someone who you think could benefit that’s what I have for you today. Let’s meet back here next week for now. Make it a great day. Take care Michelle Bourque 11:37 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one, go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com, and click on get started to begin