Ep. 25: The 3 C’s
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IN THIS EPISODE:
Hello hello hello my friends!
What is going on in your world?
Oh my gosh – I have lots of stuff going on over here – all good – but my brain was a little cra cra last week.
It’s the end of my fiscal year … lol – I think enough said right?
Closing it down… such fun.. lol
AND I’m working with some pretty amazing clients who are seeing some pretty amazing results – now that is really my jam.
I love seeing people start to make the changes they’ve been dreaming –
so, like I said – lots going on – more to come – and it’s all so good.
Ok – so speaking of my amazing clients.
Today I want to talk to you about the 3 C’s I use with all my clients as we begin.
you guys –
do you have that one family member that .. well – is just “that” family member… lol –
if you do you know what I’m talking about.
Anyhow – I was chuckling as I was preparing this because for us –
that family member is often my Aunt Terri –
she is like free entertainment to any family party.
This is a super side note but I thought
you might get a chuckle –
as I was preparing the section on curiosity I remembered a story from years ago where my Aunt Terri was asking all these questions and finally my dad said –
Terri – you know, curiosity killed the cat…
She’s like – your cat died?
Omg – lol
so it could be funny just at the level of her not totally getting the joke
but you guys
we never HAD a cat! Lol
so the good news is –
no cat ever died from curiosity – and neither will we. Lol
Ok – let’s dive in.
Curiosity is defined as a strong desire to learn something.
Curiosity is so important as you work to drink less – or even weigh less.
See – our brain loves to go straight to judgement .
So let’s say you over drink one night.
And the next morning your brain wants to tell you how terrible you are,
how you should not have had those last 2 glasses,
how you will never figure this out and on and on right?
This is exactly the point I tell my clients to stop.
Instead, turn this judgement to curiosity.
You will actually LEARN something from it vs. just beating yourself up.
Beating yourself up has 0 upside.
So how do you get curious?
Start asking yourself – what was going on?
Like – what was the situation,
how were you feeling –
and what were you thinking as you were going for the extra wine.
Maybe it was – I was super stressed from a long week and just said f-it because I needed to relax.
Take a look at –
did you even have a drink plan going into the night?
What happened that had you reaching for the extra glass?
Really just examine the situation from a neutral, fact gathering standpoint.
And then decide – what will you do next Friday when it’s a super stressful week?
See – These are the steps you need to begin implementing in order to build awareness and start breaking the habit you currently have.
Now – breaking the habit doesn’t typically happen over night –
let’s face it – it wasn’t developed over night.
You need to stay curious throughout-
and you know what you will start noticing?
You begin by looking at what happened after the fact.
And As you start to build awareness you start recognizing it as you are IN it.
So maybe you start going for that second extra glass and you notice – oh, wait – I really don’t want to do this – I know I will feel so foggy tomorrow and I want to get to the gym.
And THEN – you see it BEFORE it happens – so you know it was a super stressful week – and in the past you may have gone for the extra wine, but you are committed to drinking less so you don’t have it.
It’s so fascinating to watch the evolution.
Now – the next C – commitment.
I’ve talked about this in a few episodes.
Your commitment is so important to any of the work you do.
Your commitment builds your relationship with yourself –
Seriously friends – this is THE work.
So many times I have women who talk me about all they need to do for work or family and how often they just put themselves last.
I want to tell you – being committed to yourself and doing the work on you – well EVERYONE around you benefits.
Story after story I hear from people who do this – tell me how their relationships have changed for the better, how sales have increased at work.. sooo many great things.
It was interesting because – when I looked up the definition of commitment I saw two –
- the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
- an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
I love this first one.
I love when my clients are dedicated to themselves.
To doing the work that gets them the changes they dream of.
YOU are the cause to be dedicated to my friend.
But I think what happens is sometimes people have more of the second definition in their mind.
This idea of restriction of freedom.
That’s not what we do in this work.
When you commit to yourself your sense of freedom – freedom to create what you want, freedom to control your time, freedom to live the life you want – well that all gets so much better.
And when I say commit to yourself – I mean commit like you do in any type of significant relationship you are in.
Here’s what I see – we say we are going to have 3 glasses let’s say – and then a friend comes along with a little extra splash – or as my girlfriends say – a bloop… lol.
Well then one leads to another and then you end up having more than you planned.
This is what my coach calls grab ass.
And for you people looking to lose weight – people grab ass food as well.
So – think of the relationship you are in – like for me I’ll say my husband.
And then let’s says I see a good looking guy – ok – maybe I look at him – but it’s not like I go for a little grab ass – because I am committed – it’s not an option.
That’s the kind of commitment I want you to have with yourself.
No grab ass.
It’s also like – you make a lick date with your girlfriend for noon – you wouldn’t think to just blow her off b/c you didn’t feel like it.
But how quickly do we blow ourselves off like – when we don’t feel like getting a workout in?
Or don’t feel like sticking to the drink plan?
Whatever you say your are drinking – that’s what you drink.
Stay committed to yourself.
And remember – if you are just starting out – put down a realistic number.
It’s about starting to show your brain you do what you say you will do.
It’s about planning with your your frontal cortex and not letting your toddler – primative brain, run the show.
And now for the last C – compassion.
All of this needs to be done with compassion my friend.
Compassion in like – kindness sort of way.
It’s so easy for our brain to go to the negative.
It’s actually how the primitive brain is designed – to watch out for the negative to protect us.
Which was important while we lived in caves.
But we don’t live in caves anymore – and we have a pre frontal cortex
that allows us to plan, decide and CHOOSE not to believe the negative chatter.
Think about how you talk to yourself – would you ever say those things to your girlfriend?
So as you do this work –
be sure to recognize that it is a learning process.
Recognize and give yourself credit for doing it.
And keep going.
You will make yourself so proud.
It’s no joke my friends – this work is where it’s at.
Ok – that’s what I have for you today.
Let’s circle back next week – but for now –
Make it a great day – take care!