Ep 244 The Truth About Overwhelm

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Join me today as I discuss the truth about overwhelm. The good news is – we have control over it. The challenging news is – it doesn’t always feel like it. Today I am talking about the 3 P’s you can begin implementing in order to feel less stressed and the one P to drop immediately if you want to feel better and enjoy life more.

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Episode Transcript:  Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits

You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Burke. And today’s episode, I’m discussing the truth about overwhelm. Welcome to the It’s Your time Podcast, the podcast, where busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Michelle Bourque 0:35 Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends what is going on in your world? Let me share a funny story of what’s going on over here. In fact, I’ll give you a visual. If you follow me at all on the socials, you know that I am a bit of a crazy dog person. Well, I mean, some may say a bit of a crazy person in general, but that’s not the point. So I’m outside with Tucker the other day. And I have these great new eye patches that I have on. And I will totally link them in the notes. They are magnificent. And I’m out there. And he is on his really long leash because we do not have a fenced in yard and I tell him to like let’s get movin there, buddy, stop sniffing them all chin, you gotta get to the bathroom because I had to like get to work. But unbeknownst to me, my left foot is in the path of the leash, and it gets caught around my ankle, and literally picks me up off the ground, I fall on my elbow, my shoulder, my head, and then I get up. My hair is now stuck in those amazing iPads. And I’m looking around to see if any of the neighbors caught it wondering what they think looks crazy, or the eye patches or me on the ground. And it’s totally what my friend Lynn is always hoping to witness when I do videos to post out there on the socials with him. So I thought it was just so funny. And I was very grateful that in fact, I did not have the video camera going. So the point of this all is that we should be connected on the socials at Michelle Bourque coaching, you never know what might happen over there. Right? Okay, so now let’s hop into this podcast because I want to talk to you about the truth about overwhelm. And we are officially in the throes of summer. And I know for a bunch of folks, schedules are changing. For some, maybe the kiddos are at home. And there can be a lot of adjustments to what your normal routine is. And there might be some overwhelm. I mean, listen, there can be overwhelm any time of year. And I think that’s why this is an important episode to listen to as you navigate whenever it shows up for you. And I want to suggest that first you give yourself grace. And also let me just make a side note. It doesn’t have to be because kiddos are home, I do not have kids, and there can still be changes and schedules that seem to cause overwhelm. So give yourself grace. It is okay, that things might be a little bit different. Here’s the truth about overwhelm, we often bring it on to ourselves. And so I want to make a couple of key points as you are facing this, again, any time of year. Because I know that these tools can be helpful for anyone. Today, I want to talk about the three keys to success as you manage your time and energy when faced with overwhelm. Number one, prioritize. Number two, plan number three, pivot and I’m also going to give you one piece to drop at the end. So number one prioritize. You don’t need to do everything. And every moment we tell ourselves, it all has to get done has two key words, also, usually not true. Now, you might say no, no, it really does have to get done. I just want you to be aware of the words that you are using. The words that you speak to yourself are everything. The book, The Four Agreements discusses this. One of the agreements is Be impeccable with your word, speak with integrity, say only what you mean. Use the power of your word to offer love, never for it to cause fear or pain in another or yourself. So what does that mean? What you speak, you start to believe and what you believe you start to create. So I want you to consider making small shifts. And when I suggest that you get curious about if you really have to do this, it might be kind of a bit of an extreme example. But when we are telling ourselves like I have to see that patient or I have to get the sales numbers in or I have to whatever it is, think about if somebody close to you unexpectedly and suddenly died. My guess is a lot of those things that you are currently telling yourself that you have to do. Could be reprioritized still, just get curious and just start becoming a Where of when you are saying that you have to? And how does that feel when you’re telling yourself that start making the small shifts. And really a great place to start with this is to look at, what do you want to do. Oftentimes, what you are doing is really not what you want to be doing. And a lot of times what you are doing is what you think that others want you to do. So prioritizing and self care are super important. In fact, I consider them so important that they are part of the six week coaching program that I’m offering, being able to prioritize, and a way to build the relationship that you have with yourself, knowing that you can gain clarity on your priorities, again, meaning what is important to you, versus how are you spending your time and energy, knowing that you can apply to your business and personal life. It is so important. If you want to learn more about that. Be sure to check out Michelle Bourque coaching.com, forward slash confidence. And I want to go back to the idea that we often spend time doing what we think others want us to do versus just maybe even asking them, what is it that needs to be done here, and being very clear on the communication. Another one of the four agreements in that book is don’t make assumptions, find the quiet courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just that one agreement, you truly can completely transform your life, communicate people, we need more communication, and more clear communication, in order to help reduce some of the stress and overwhelm. And then once you have gathered that information, you decide, okay, what are my priorities? The truth is, honestly, you are prioritizing, and every moment, it’s just more likely that you’re not being super aware and intentional as you do it. And that’s what leaves you feeling. Like it’s all just happening to you. In fact, you should take some time to give yourself credit for what you are already prioritizing. And then once you’re able to gain clarity, you plan accordingly. Planning, let me mention and having a to do list are not the same. I’ve done both. And I sometimes still do both. But I will tell you, when I plan, a specific activity, or activities and specific time slots, I am way more productive, you will find the same for yourself, give your brain a task and a certain amount of time. And then boom, it is done. Your brain likes to prove true what you believe. So if you are putting on the calendar, from nine to 10, you are going to focus on completing that presentation. Your brain is going to get to work, no dilly dallying, right. What is that saying? People can overestimate what they do in a year. But they underestimate what you can do in 10 years. So start really getting clear on what is the goal? What is the timeframe that I’m going to accomplish that. And you know, if you get it done even quicker than you imagine,

Michelle Bourque 8:26 you got some extra time on your hands, maybe give yourself a little something fun to do. And if you sign up for that confidence program that I just mentioned, you will receive a bonus, I think it might be maybe week four, but you will receive the it’s your time planner. And it’s an opportunity for you to look at not only your daily schedule, but your weekly as well as your quarterly goals. And I will say there is a lot to it. For some people, they might say they’re getting overwhelmed by the planner. But that is not my intention with it, I really want you to use it in a way that works for you. You don’t have to do all of the planning right out of the gate. Remember, the compound effect, small changes over time are lasting changes. And don’t let your perfectionistic brain tell you that it needs to be more. Okay. Now, we have prioritized and we have planned. And then the third area, the third P is being able to and being willing to pivot, you get to change your mind. You might start with a set of plans or ideas and as you go, you might decide it’s not exactly as you imagined. Instead of judging yourself and thinking you should have done that differently. simply decide to pivot or you might even tell yourself, I shouldn’t have done that at all. Just stop, take a breath, decide to pivot wasn’t it? Maya Angelou who said, you know better you do better? Maybe that’s as simple as it is. But sometimes our brain likes to braid us. Just on default, know, you are doing your best. That is actually one of the other four agreements in the book, always do your best, your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best. And you will avoid self judgment, self abuse and regret. Listen, taking away that layer of self judgment alone can lessen the pressure that you put on yourself. So the three P’s that we want to begin implementing, again, prioritize, plan, and pivot. And I mentioned I would give you a P to draw perfectionism. I was recently talking to someone about all the things that she had to get done. And she was clearly identifying as a perfectionist. And what I noticed is that, at some points, she will have people do some work. And then she will redo it to make sure that it is quote unquote, perfect. And that is great if it works for you. But if not, if it’s costing you extra stress, it might just be an opportunity to get curious as to why you think it’s so important to be quote unquote, perfect. And a lot of times, we will say I am a perfectionist, or I am whatever it is, as if we’re reporting the news. The truth is the words that you say, again, going back to one of the first agreements I mentioned, hear the words that you say, especially after I am are so important, please make sure they are useful to you creating the life that you want. I mean, if we think about the time spent in this example, for the person who does the work initially, and then for the person who read does it? If that’s you, right? What else could be done? If you were willing to consider B plus, or dare I say, B minus work? I know, it might be a bit of a brain teaser, but I will tell you, when I started making that shift is really when I started being able to get so much more done in my life, and I’ve been able to lighten up a bit. Some may say that I’m still a little bit high strung. I consider this lightened up and maybe even more importantly, enjoy life more. It’s kind of a nice trade off friends. Maybe give it a whirl. Okay, again, for the course that I mentioned, head to MichelleBourquecoaching.com/confidence. Otherwise, that’s what I have for you today. Take what works leave what doesn’t and let’s meet back here next week. Make it a great day. Take care

Michelle Bourque 12:43 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one, go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin

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