Ep 243 Pathways to Success in Coaching
Join me today as I discuss different pathways to success through coaching. As I have evolved over the years and worked with more of you my coaching has also evolved in ways to better help you get the results you most desire. In this episode I am discussing some of the ways coaching might look, areas where I have adjusted some tools to help move you forward and how you can start making lasting changes in your life.
In This Episode:
- Recent family fun – Taylor Swift, Beachside vacations. Alanis Morisette, and family celebrations
- The Science of Gratitude – Mel Robbins and the missing piece of gratitude journals – Oprah
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself – Joe Dispenza – Quantum physics
- Coaching Pathways – Mindset, Somatic, Leadership, Breath Work, Accountability
- Coaching vs Therapy
- www.michellebourquecoaching.com/connect – Energy and Time Audit call – no cost, no obligation
Episode Transcript – Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits
You are listening to the it’s your time podcast, and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. And today’s episode, I’m discussing pathways to success through coaching.
Bourque 0:12 Welcome to the Its Your Time Podcast, Michelle Bourque 0:13 the podcast, we’re busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.
Michelle Bourque 0:35 Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends, what is going on in your world, it has been a fun couple of weekends, I have to tell you Well, I don’t have to tell you. But I would like to update you on a couple of things that have been going on. And here’s why. I want you to know, you get to take the time to do things that make you feel good. Do things that you enjoy in your life, and you don’t always have to be all about the work. And it has taken me a long time to begin to unravel this type of thinking. And I’m always all about helping you get to that finish line faster than I have, right? We need more women seeing that you can do life in a way that works for you. And sometimes, I wish I realized this sooner. But since I didn’t, I can at least share it with you and hopes that you get it sooner. And you know what, even as I say that I actually did do some work during parts of these activities that I’m going to tell you about. But what has changed since coaching. And let me just take a minute to pause because this is going to be the meat of the conversation. It’s really the idea of what coaching is, and how maybe I’ve evolved as a coach, how coaching can look different for you how it can help you. But as I was saying, I just did feel totally annoyed that I was working on my quote unquote, time off. And I say, quote, unquote, because it rarely is true true time off, like we are told that we have unlimited time off. But that’s simply because the company knows you’re not really off. Right? It’s not really a full disconnection. And here’s the second part of that knowing I know that that is my choice. And that is where I am you can stand in your power. And you might say no, really, the job doesn’t allow me to disconnect. It’s nuts. It’s crazy. I hear you, I get it. I used to say the same thing. But you, me, we are choosing to stay in the job. And you could choose to disconnect as well. It might change the results that you have. There might be some ramifications if you do, but it is an option. And just knowing that you have the agency in your life can feel so much better than being the victim. I’ve tried both, I assure you, it’s much better feeling more empowered. And we will dive into more of this. But I want to go ahead and tell you some of the fun things. Okay, I can’t recall if I mentioned but last month, I was able to go see Jagged Little Pill, the musical with a couple of girlfriends and I was obsessed back in the 90s with ironic and the musical did not disappoint. Plus, I will just go ahead, as I’m talking about feeling empowered and own that I am a pretty amazing wife. And I say that because I spared mark. The last musical that we went to I think it was about 20 years ago maybe Mamma Mia. And he was so excited when the lights came up for in his words, halftime. And that was probably enough of that. That was the end of our going to musicals together. Then let’s see what else going on the big weekend adventure was taking some of the nieces to T Swift. And after that we went to the Rhode Island beach near her home, which I mean, some might say seemed a little stalkerish. But no, it was just a really fun, fun weekend. And then we’ve had weekends of birthday adventures, some turning one 940 It all runs the gamut of celebrations and we don’t give gifts. I just love doing experiences things like the Taylor Swift concert or going to the beach. And quite honestly, maybe if I’m being honest, it’s because I benefit as well. Right? So that I think brings you up to speed and why this is important is because I want you to have insight to well first.
Michelle Bourque 4:41 I think it’s so important to remember that we want to be grateful for our life and I was listening to a Mel Robbins podcast and she was talking about the science of gratitude and I think for so long. I did gratitude journals, but I did them as if it was an activity on my Things To Do list because someone Oprah to be exact said to, and I never really understood back then the importance of taking the time to actually feel grateful, there’s the difference, you can do it as an activity to check off your list. And then maybe you feel accomplished. But taking the time to look at what you’re grateful for and feel grateful. I’m just curious if you can relate, when you take time to look around and be grateful. What does that look like for you? One of the things that Mel talked about was the importance of being specific. So instead of, I’m grateful for my family. In fact, she said, it’s more like you are thankful for your family. And you would be grateful for the specificity of what is going on. So I am so grateful that we were able to get the crazy Taylor Swift tickets, and dress up in the heiress costume and sing along and do the fun transition video. I think that’s what it’s called right and tick tock, you know, the before when we’re dressed up as normal folks, and then you jump back into the camera as the arrows folks like, can you see the difference? That’s so much more of an exciting, grateful feeling to be very specific, and what you’re talking about, versus I’m grateful for my family. It really brings everything to a much more deeper level. And as Joe Dispenza says, more heart centered feeling. And if you aren’t familiar with Dispenza, he has a lot of great information on quantum physics and metaphysical and science. And I think you should totally check him out. He has one book that I am actually Rereading is becoming supernatural. And he has another book that’s called breaking free from being yourself. I love his work, totally check him out. And as part of my breathwork certification, that is the rereading of the book becoming supernatural. So I am sure I’ll be talking about that again, here. Okay, now that we’re feeling heart centered, and grateful, let’s talk about some concepts around coaching, and really what the different pathways to success could look like. And I wanted to talk about this because it has come up a couple of times recently. And I think it’s important because sometimes people don’t fully understand what coaching is, and maybe how it compares to therapy, and the fact that there are multiple ways to give and receive coaching. So let’s start with therapy versus coaching. And my sister and I were talking about this concept or idea, I don’t think honestly, we would ever say we’re talking about a concept. That sounds very formal, doesn’t it. But she was under the impression that therapy, for me might have been around more of feeling feelings back in the day. And coaching was more about changing thoughts. And that’s not really how I look at it. In fact, some of my deepest feeling of feelings work has come from coaching. And I think both modalities are super important. I’ve done both, but I feel like my life has mostly changed from coaching. Therapists, clearly, also have very different training, the coaching industry is not regulated, and therapist obviously are. And it might be that the therapist is more likely to treat things like mental illness or significant emotional or relational issues. Coaching, I see as more of an elevation of performance. And that can look like an elevation of emotions also, or in your profession, or relational. But there is already this level of achievement, for the most part in coaching, like most of the folks that I coach are already at high levels of functioning, and they want to continue to grow. Or maybe it’s been that there’s this one aspect of your life that you just cannot quite figure out. And that’s where we get to work. And interestingly, I will add, who knows if I would have gotten so much out of coaching, if I had not started with therapy. So again, I think both are super helpful. And coaching can also look like so many things, there are different paths to take with coaches. And really, it’s important for me to share this because I know that my coaching has also changed over the years. So it might not even just be different coaches. It might be how the coach has changed themselves. And I think some folks are still not exactly sure what that all entails, and to be quite honest. It can entail whatever it is that you need in the moment. Now what I mean is what exactly when people say what exactly does coaching entail, then it’s really a question of what exactly are you looking for? And from there you choose who you think might be the best. Now, as an example, past clients that I’ve worked with have increased their sales numbers. They’ve won sales Awards, which is always so much fun to hear. Start Did liking their job again, which is obviously super important because we spend a lot of time in our job. I’ve had women who have been able to implement self care routines have maybe changed the way that they parent set boundaries with families started, businesses cut back on drinking, losing weight, there is just not one script for the way you live your life. And I think one of the best parts after completing the coaching program is you learn the skill of self coaching. Yes, that is another form of coaching. And it’s so important because after you complete the four months, and my coaching program, you have this new ability to look at your life differently, and coach yourself for the rest of your life. It is so much fun. And I will say, when I first started, I was very much in the mindset of I had to do it exactly like the way the school that trained me said to. And if you listen back to earlier podcast, it sounded more like a sergeant. Some of them, I used to say like you must obey your schedule all of the time. I have softened a bit, I think there is so much more to that, because I have learned so much more. And I understand now that I can coach any way I want based on what you come to me looking for. Again, it’s not this hard and fast way of doing it. I now love taking into account things like human design, your nervous system, breathwork, accountability, coaching, performance coaching, and I come with a much more holistic approach that just feels so much better when I’m helping people versus just simply mindset coaching. And there are so many different coaching styles. There is of course, mindset coaching, strategic coaching, there’s accountability, coaching, somatic coaching, leadership, coaching, career coaching, executive coaching, wellness coaching, like I could go on and on. And, oh, of course, I have to also include athletic coaching, right? I mean, if Marc is listening, he did that for decades. So that obviously is very important part of all of the coaching world. The bottom line is, it’s most important to meet you, where you are at meaning. Where are you now? And where do you want to be? As Marc used to say, know, your roles, like you have to know your role in life? It’s not just a team effort. You take self care, as self leadership and get clear on where is it that you are struggling? What is it that you want to be accomplishing? And to be honest, when I first started, I was so focused on just the mindset part, and don’t get me wrong. Mindset is an integral part to success in accomplishing new levels of achievement. But I didn’t have the knowledge I do now around some trauma informed coaching, the importance of energy, the importance of your nervous system. And listen, if you try to change the thought, and you don’t feel safe in your body, or might not even be aware of some of the subconscious programming that’s holding you back, the mindset work will not be most effective. And that’s what I mean, when I say meet you where you are at, have an understanding of what is really going on. And how best can we get you the results that you most want in the most efficient way, right? Coaching is also about saving time I talked about this right getting you to the results faster. Take all of the knowledge that I’ve learned over the past 7890 My gosh, even if we go back to like human services learning, right, take all of the years of coaching and condense it in a way that keeps you regulated. So you can say, I want to believe a new thought, or I just have to believe harder, it’s not going to work. If you’re not regulated. You can’t just pretend your life through mantras, it’s important to release the old thinking to number one, become aware of the old thinking I would say and then number two, release it, to be able to feel safe, to be able to expand, to be able to rewire your thinking to create new habits and patterns and results in your life. And then guess what? You repeat. Because oftentimes how we do one thing is how we do many things. So if you learn the meta skill of what is going on, and maybe you start specifically with your job, then you take that skill and you apply it to all the other areas in your life. And that’s when you see the changes. Now of course there’s also mentoring, but I consider that a little bit different from coaching. And I do both I think with mentoring, I tend to tell people more than ask and with coaching. It’s so much more about asking about having you find the right answer for you. It’s you gaining awareness to those patterns that you are repeating in your life so that you can decide to either change them or keep them the same. I do not have the answers to create your life. I am here to show you your brain and Then you create the life that you want based on what you have going on now, if it works for you, and you’re feeling good, where you’re at, that is amazing and great. And I always say, Rock on. But if you are feeling stuck, or if you have been trying to accomplish a goal, and you just have not been able to figure it out, or a big one I see specifically is you are just really not happy in your job because it is feeling like it is taking all of your time or sucking the life out of you. I may or may not have been there once or twice. Well, that’s when we should talk. And you can head to Michellebourquecoaching.com/connect and we can get out a no cost call and look at what is holding you back. It’s really an opportunity to do a time and energy audit in order to help you begin feeling less stressed and overwhelmed. And to be able to enjoy more of your life.
Michelle Bourque 15:56 That’s where we started the podcast friends, being willing and knowing that it is okay to enjoy your life. I promise it is possible. Okay. That’s where we will end it for this week. Let’s plan to meet up again next week. In the meantime, feel free to reach out to me on the socials at Michelle Bouruqe coaching. Otherwise, let’s touch base next week. Make it a great day. Take care
Michelle Bourque 16:27 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin