Ep 240 Embracing Goal Reflections

Episode Notes:

Here we are starting month 6 of the year and it’s a great time to reflect on how the start of the year is going.  When you have the discipline to take some time to reflect, assess and decide how you want the next couple of months to go you will be that much closer to your ultimate goals.  Take a listen today as I talk about important questions to as yourself, a new recent role I’m taking on, and why you should not be waiting to feel motivated to accomplish the results you most want in life.

In This Episode:

• Courage vs motivation vs willing 
• The importance of knowing your why
• Having compelling reasons as challenges occur
• Taking on new roles in work and how your past plays into it
• Being more time efficient through goal reflection
• Not needing to know the how of your goals

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Episode Transcript: (Transcribed by OtterAi with minimal edits)

You are listening to the Its Your Time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque, and today’s episode I’m discussing embracing goal reflection. Welcome to the It’s Your time Podcast, the podcast. We’re busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Michelle Bourque 0:35 Hello, hello. Hello. Welcome back to the podcast. Friends, I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend. And here we are at episode number 240. Normally, Every 10th episode, I will reflect on either a book that I am reading, or maybe something that has come up with a mentor. But today I wanted to change it up a little bit, I want you to begin reflecting on your goals. And it is the start of June after all. So perfect timing right? The sixth month of the year. Where are you with your goals? If maybe you made some new year’s resolutions? Are you on track? What is working? What is not working? What do you want to either keep doing, start doing stop doing, it’s important to give yourself a moment to reflect and I get it. I know how busy so many of you are. And I used to say that all of the time. But when we are not willing to stop for a moment, then we are not able to really check in and decide if what we are doing is getting us closer to our goals or not. And taking the bit of time can exponentially I promise you increase your overall time. Because ultimately, you are then taking the time to prioritize your life and cultivate it on purpose. And hopefully with a purpose, actually taking the time to gain clarity and getting clear on what that purpose is. And it is so much fun. Because this is actually one of the week’s work that we do and the six week coaching confidence program that I have, you should totally go check it out michellebourquecoaching.com/confidence, it’s really a great way to get started not only for increasing your confidence, but helping to overcome impostor syndrome. Like I mentioned, cultivating your life in a way that works for you not based on what everyone else is pulling you to do. And I always loved the future self work. And that is one week as well. And I will tell you confidence. It’s fascinating because sometimes people will say that they think I’m confident. In fact, sidenote, my mom wants to me that sometimes people might be intimidated by not only me, but my sister, I’m gonna go ahead and throw her under the bus here too. It’s totally fine. She never listened. And I just thought, What is she talking about? Intimidating is the last word I would ever use to describe myself. Because in my brain, I sometimes have stories that maybe aren’t super useful. Maybe you can relate. In fact, since we’re talking about confidence, I will share a recent story with you. I have mentioned to you in the past how I’ve been part of an amazing Employee Resource Group at work. And it really helps to build women leaders. I mean, listen, all folks are included, of course. But there is an emphasis on empowering women, which, you know, is obviously my total jam, and a passion. And for years, I’ve been on the membership committee. But recently I was asked if I would consider tossing my hat in the ring for the co chair position that recently opened. And that would be for the entire committee, which means next year, if I got it, I wouldn’t be chair. And let me tell you, I started sweating. Literally, during the conversation, I could feel my heart racing. And initially, I thought that was a sign to say no, make sure you pay attention to what you’re feeling in your body. And really get clear sometimes Remember, our brain is designed on motivational triad to avoid pain, seek pleasure and be as efficient as possible. So anything around change can activate that stress response. That doesn’t necessarily mean don’t do it. In fact, I thought, Wait, maybe this is a sign to actually go ahead and do it. And I told him, I would think about it. I did a breath work the next morning, and when I finished I was like, Okay, this is a go. Now, I will tell you, I can’t say that it was a sense of super confidence at first. And this is what we talked about in week one of the course and I’ve mentioned here before, you don’t need to feel confident to get started. So ask yourself if you are not where you want to be at the halfway mark of the year right now, specifically with your goals, or for any goal that you want. In fact, are you waiting to feel concrete Wouldn’t to get started? If the answer is yes, stop that. The question really is, are you first committed to the goal? What is your level of commitment? And a follow up? Question is, do you know your why? The why is way more important to know, and to have that feeling than confidence when you’re just getting started. And then the next step is to embrace courage. And as one of my past coaches always says, Courage feels like shit, right? Like, Courage isn’t like this great feeling. Oftentimes, it is that sweating, it is that stomach drop, and it is that you keep going. And that’s okay. From there, you start taking the action, and you build your capabilities. And as you do that, that’s when you feel more confident. Dan Sullivan calls this the four C’s, and it can really change your life, and what you are willing to get started doing now. And of course, we also talk about the stories that you tell yourself, we want to make sure you are telling yourself good ones, like useful ones not good as in right or wrong. But are they useful for you to move forward in accomplishing your goals. So my stories at first, for this specific example sounded like, who I think I am to go for such a position. Let’s go ahead and insert some impostor syndrome here, shall we? And I know so many of you can relate. And I will tell you, when we go to these global meetings, there’s annual meetings, and oftentimes, they will have up on the big screen a timeline of the chairs since the inception of this employee resource group. And I always think these women are so impressive. They really have their freakin shit together. Now, me on the other hand, I sometimes feel like Kramer from Seinfeld, and I especially thought that was a good description. Kramer from Seinfeld, if I’m comparing myself to the current chair, not super useful thoughts, and we need to stop comparing ourselves to others that will often hold us back from achieving our biggest goals. Like where can you look at where you are now, versus where you started? Give yourself the opportunity to look at how far you’ve come. Benjamin Hardy talks about this idea in his book, The gap in the game, a lot of times, our brain wants to tell us what we’re missing what we haven’t done. But we need to be very intentional with showing our brain, how far we have come and what it is that we have accomplished. Don’t just listen to yourself. You also need to speak to yourself in ways that are encouraging. And there are still so many more months left in this year, you get to decide right now, it is that simple. That is how you figure out what your goals are, you decide. And then you just start getting after it, what you want your reflection to look like. And then take into consideration. What do you want your reflection to look like? Once you hit December, speaking of deciding, I’ll fill you in on what I actually decided to do. And think around this example. I would love the opportunity to help more women in a different way. And this role is a great opportunity to do that. Oh, and you know what else came up? Here’s an interesting thing to consider. Because we have things in our past that sometimes are still stuck maybe consciously or subconsciously in our brains. So for me, the fact that you have to get voted in for this position, oh, mg, it totally brought me back to gym class, and cheerleading, which is where I never got picked. But even that you can see is not useful to use as rationale for making my decision. And I see this so often with folks that I coach the idea that I’ve never been able to do it before. As if your past determines your future. Not so my friends. In fact, you will never find evidence in the past for any new goals that you are reaching for. The point is they are new edges that you’re reaching for. And that’s fabulous. I like to think that we stretch to the edge, but we don’t break. So where are you maybe not quite stretching yourself and you think you want to dip your toe in the water, but you just don’t know how to do it. Here’s a great tip for you. Just get started. You might see a theme in this podcast right reflect and then start taking some action. You don’t need to know the how before you Get Started, you just get started. And then you give yourself Grace along the way to learn, to fail, and to move on, to learn, to fail, and to move on, to learn to fail, and to move on.

Michelle Bourque 10:15 That is purposeful. I am not just on a repeat here. That’s how you get to your goals. And as you do more of that, guess what happens? You figure out how to do it. And I cannot tell you the number of times that I have achieved goals that were in no way shape, or form, the way I thought that they would be. And that’s okay. You can just trust. I like to trust that the universe has my back, that the universe is trying to make things happen for me. Sometimes the issue gets to me that I think I know better. And I’m learning as I get older, to trust more trust, that you will figure it out. And that is the key to confidence, knowing that you will figure it out. Some people think that confidence, self confidence, is this idea that oh, I’m better than you. That’s not it at all. It’s I know, I can figure it out. And I know you can too. That’s much better energy to be taking action from then what some people might have an idea of being overly self confident as like pompous, right? I mean, I think we all can picture that person that we notice. Should I say pomp s? Right? That’s not what self confidence is. And that’s not what I’m asking you to do. I’m just asking you to believe in yourself. And as you’re looking and reflecting, take the time to ask the following questions. Again, in summary, where am I with my goal? And listen, feel free to use New Year’s goals. I just suggest that because we’re at the sixth month of the year, but you can really use any goal that you’re feeling stuck with.

Ask yourself:

What is working?

What is not working?

What do I want to stop doing? Start doing? Or keep doing?

What is my commitment level on a scale of one to 10 for this? And why am I choosing that number?

And what is my Why for the goal. So if your number is low, maybe your y isn’t super tight, when you have your why that helps you keep going through the challenging times.

So what is your Y for the goal? And then get that answer. And I want you to then ask yourself again, why is that answer important? And then ask yourself another time? Why is that answer important? You need to really ensure that you have a compelling reason, because usually the first one is fairly superficial. So when challenges arise, it might not be the strongest thing to keep you going. And as you continue to ask the why is that important? Why is that important? Why is that important? You go a couple layers deeper, and then that is usually the compelling reason for you. And listen, don’t be waiting for motivation to come knocking on your door. motivation comes and goes. The life you want is waiting for you. Be willing, be courageous. You don’t have to be motivated all of the time. Now, listen, if motivation hits you in the butt, write it but don’t wait for it, your life is too important. And if you want to learn more about the six week program that I mentioned, again, MichelleBourquecoaching.com/confidence, the total cost is $47. And if you sign up by June 11, you will receive an extra bonus. I’m having so much fun with this breath work if you haven’t already noticed because I’ve been talking about it in a number of podcasts. But as I go through this certification, I want to be able to open up your eyes to more of what breathwork is what it can offer you how it can change your life because I will tell you I think the breath work with the mindset work. It is like putting gasoline on the fire. It is amazing what you can do to really transform your life. Okay, that’s what I have for you today. As you know, keep what works, leave what doesn’t and let’s meet back here next week for another opportunity to transform your life. Make it a great day. Take care Michelle Bourque 14:41 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin