Ep 236 Intentional Weight Loss for More Energy and Time

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Episode Notes:

Join me today as I discuss intentional weight loss to increase your time and energy.  This episode is all about creating a life that works for you and one you will be able to live every day with less stress and overwhelm.  Too much time and energy is spent on a number from the scale and in this episode I’m talking about why we need to ditch the diet industry, how we can gain more time and energy back into our lives, and how taking the next steps will have you feeling better more often.

In This Episode:

  • Ditching the diet industry and restriction mindset
  • Benefits of being intentional with your eating
  • Choosing how you want to be in all aspects of your life when it comes to food
  • Lewis Howes and Michael Pollan podcast
  • Tying core values to eating
  • The clean your plate syndrome and how we can shift the way we look at waste.

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Episode Transcript:  (Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits)


Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to the podcast. Friends. I’m so excited to be here with you yet again today. And before we get into today’s episode, I want to share some exciting news with you. I just created a new coaching program, which I think will be an amazing opportunity for more women to get coaching, and to change your lives in a way that works for you. And it will be especially amazing for you if you are not sure what exactly coaching is, and you want to have the opportunity to check it out. Now, I’ve never done anything like this. So we are testing it. And I have to tell you, I’m so excited because I incorporated some of the ways that I most love getting coached, and how I tend to see many of my transformations. And I think you are similar meaning you have a lot going on. I have folks in California, for example that want to get coaching, but the times for calls don’t always work out. So now I am offering a solution. The option to do a 12 week program, we will have what I’m calling one intensive call, which will be a 45 minute call, where we discuss where it is you are now and where it is you want to be meaning what are the goals that you are looking to accomplish. And then we decide what that path looks like specific to you, in order to accomplish those goals that you want to receive. In addition to that, we will have a 30 minute call on week six, so that we can check in. And then another 30 minute call live private. And then we will have another 30 minute call week 11. So that we can talk live about what you have accomplished so far. And then in between. And when I say in between, I mean every single freaking day 24/7 You will have access to reach out for Voxer coaching. Again, this is private I love, love, love Voxer coaching. Now, if you’re not familiar with what that is, Voxer is a free app, you simply download it and you bring whatever you have going on to me, you can text it, you can voice text it, say you’re applying for a job and you want feedback on a resume, you can send attachments, it is so easy to use. It’s like coaching on the go. And I find that it is so important to offer this because I know I have done weekly calls with my coach in the past. And there is definitely a benefit to that live weekly component. But I also know that when things are happening in my life on say Tuesday, and my call isn’t until Friday, I want to get coached and Voxer is a great way to do that. Literally, you come there 24/7 There is no restriction on the timing. And then I will get back to you within 24 hours. And then in addition to that, I know right? I used to have a doctor who would call me Billy Mays. And then there’s more. But seriously, I think this is also so important. And I’m really excited because I am going to give you also a new six week confidence self study program that I have developed, you will receive each module every week for the first six weeks. And then you get to do that on your timeline. And you can always bring questions and coaching to Voxer around the program as well if you want. So the three live calls, one intensive 45 minutes to begin. And then one at Week Six and week, 1130 minutes each. The confidence self study course, the 24/7 Voxer, all of it for only 777. It’s such a great deal. And the reason I’m doing it is because I want more of you to be able to have access to it. I want to help more young women feel better, feel more empowered. And the more I talk to you, the greater that passion goes, I hear what’s going on out there and I want to help you and I’ve done the higher end coaching and I will still offer that but right now, this is where I’m feeling the fun is at and I’m calling the program. Empower yourself a 12 week program for building self confidence and resilience in your life. And I’m being very intentional and not specifically saying your professional life or Your career life or your personal life, because I want you to decide, you need to be the one to trust yourself to make the decisions of what it is that you want to accomplish in your life where you think you need to build confidence and resilience in your life. And then we design the 12 weeks around that. So if you are interested, go to Michelle Bourquecoaching.com/empoweryourself. Again, Michellebourquecoaching.com/empoweryourself one word. And then as a reminder, Bourque is BOURQUE, and you can go there, get signed up, and you will have all of the details. I am just so excited to get this to you.

Okay, now let’s dive into today’s podcast, a little background on where this idea came up. Marc and I were recently discussing some vacation plans and being at the pool, and how we wanted to make sure that we look good. And then the next day, I was listening to Lewis Howes podcast with Michael Pollan. And they were talking about fixing your diet and nutrition to live longer. And some of the most downloaded episodes here are the ones where I talk about weight loss. And I would say weight loss and habits primarily. So today, as we get closer to summer season, I want to talk to you about this topic, and maybe in a way that is different than what you are used to hearing it. I want to talk to you about intentional weight loss as a way to increase your energy and your time. Now, first off, I am not talking about diets here I am so over the diet industry, and how they sell us, us mostly women on all of the things that we quote, unquote need to buy, or do or stop doing in order to live up to society’s standards of what our bodies should look like. And listen, I have done most of them, probably Weight Watchers, the grapefruit diet, there were some diet that I ate a piece of toast with a tomato and a slice of cheese. Don’t forget that no fat diet or the low fat diet. I think that was Susan powder, right? The no carb, or low carb diet to eat six small meals, then we always have intermittent fasting that comes up right? Listen, friends, I tell people I fast I fast when I’m sleeping. And if you are having results with any or all of these, and you love your life that you are living, then you probably don’t have to finish listening to this podcast, right? You do what works for you rock on, keep it up. But what I see so often is this sense of dread, of having to eat or not eat, because some external source is telling you what needs to be done in order to accomplish the goals that you’re looking for. And one of the things that they talked about on this podcast, intentional eating specifically, was I love this point that they made in the US, we often ask ourselves and our kids are useful. So we are usually eating past having enough, right? And then we wonder why we don’t always feel great instead? What if we start asking ourselves, our kids, our family and friends? Have I had enough? Or how about we start with? Am I even hungry? Or am I no longer hungry? It’s a small shift in words. But it is everything like any small habit that you do over time, the benefits will compound. So instead of asking yourself, Am I full? Have I had enough? Am I even hungry? And start seeing how those answers change? And you will start seeing different results in your life? And this question I would say is also under the umbrella of the Clean your plate syndrome, right? Oh my gosh, I remember my brother would not eat his stovetop stuffing back in the day, we would all suffer and by we would all suffer. I mean, he could not leave the table until it was finished. And it would be like dude, just eat it. Let’s go. So many kids have been brought up like this. You have to finish everything on your plate. And listen, I think that is well intentioned based on past beliefs from our parents or grandparents. And a lot of times it comes from thinking like we don’t want to waste food or other people are starving. Here’s the thing. You stopping eating at enough versus cleaning your plate and being overstuffed because you think you need to finish it all does not help those other folks who are suffering from hunger. That is a real problem. And that can be helped with different solutions, different solutions other than you feeling like you have to clean your plate in order to make that difference. There are other ways to make the difference and that we don’t want to waste it sentence. What does that mean? I have totally stolen what one of my favorite Coaches Corinne Crabtree says, you either wasted in the trash or you wasted on your ass. Right? One time. A side note, I’ll Michelle Bourque 10:07 tell you a funny story. We were in this fancy restaurant, it was myself and my two of my nieces. And I think they were like eight and 12. And they already said that they were full. But they seem to think that they needed to finish all of the stuff that we had ordered. And as the waiter was walking by, I just said to them, you can either wasted in the trash or wasted on your ass ladies. And you can imagine the waiters faced and they were both horrified. That’s part of the fun of being an aunt, horrifying them, right? It’s so easy. But the truth is, we can listen to our bodies, we need to listen to our bodies. And if you had enough, that’s great. Pick up the leftovers for another time. If you think that you’re wasting your or next time, don’t make as much. And I mentioned this in a previous podcast because Mark and I get such shall I say, feedback will say feedback on how we eat or don’t eat a ton. And it’s just that we’ve gotten so much better. And I would say mark is better at it than me. Because trust me, there are still times that I overeat insert nachos, for example. But mostly, we have gotten so much better at paying attention to how we feel. And I will tell you, mornings are much better. I feel so much more energized when your body doesn’t need to work extra hard to digest the excess food, and allows for more energy for you to be able to do other things. Also, when we think of intentional eating and increasing your energy, I want you to think of how much time you think about eating. How many times do you ask yourself, What am I going to eat? What should I eat? What shouldn’t I eat? Questioning? Why did I eat that caring what others are thinking about your eating? It can be exhausting. And I think we would have so much more power in our lives. No, I know we would have so much more power in our lives with more intentional eating versus emotional eating. Now emotional eating is what a lot of folks do. We eat because we’re bored. Maybe you eat because you’re stressed. You eat because you’re sad. You might even eat because you’re happy. A lot of times we want to avoid feelings, like bored, stressed, overwhelmed. And so we eat, we get that dopamine hit. And then we don’t have to feel the feelings. But question, if that is really true, the eating doesn’t solve the problem, the problem is still there. And so after you overeat, not only do you still have the problem, but you often have the extra layer of shame and judgment on top of it. And you’re telling yourself things like food controls mean, food never controls anyone, you have to actually pick up the fork and stick it in your mouth, or the cookies or whatever it is, it’s not useful to say food controls you because when you feel like the victim, you’re not able to make the changes. Ask yourself how you are the one in control. How am I the one in control, I walked from the TV to the kitchen to get the food. I stood in the pantry to finish that bag of cookies. And when you take ownership, you are the one who can change it. And do not use this as a tool against yourself. When I say you take ownership of it, it does not mean that you then berate yourself for it. It is just a tool for awareness to see how in control of your life you are. And if you decide that you want to make the changes, it allows you the opportunity to start finding new solutions. Now the other piece that they talked about, which I thought was super interesting was the idea of knowing your values around food. And they took it from a couple of different angles. One being if you’re eating to help the climate and nature and animal rights, and then one from the idea of how you tie your values around, the way you’re eating is specific to family and friends. And I have a slight difference of opinion on some of what they talked about here specifically around the family and connection with friends. But I always say, take what works here and leave what doesn’t. So I will share both. I will talk a little bit about what they talked about. And then my thoughts on it. They were talking about how food is so communal, and family oriented a lot of times and I think I think that is because that’s what we have made it to be we say things like food is love or food is family. And that can be true. The question becomes do you want to keep thinking those types of thoughts if you’re trying to lose weight and you’re not having success? I think there can also be traditions where you do things to connect with family and friends that don’t have to include food I remember growing up, I would be at a friend’s house, and the mom would be so offended if I didn’t finish everything served. And back then I just ate it, of course, because I didn’t want to get in trouble, right? This is what we have been conditioned to believe is true. And I know this still exists, this is still affecting people out there. So the question becomes, are you willing to say, I’ve had enough? Are you willing to possibly disappoint others? Or are you going to keep disappointing yourself by not doing what you want, by not listening to what your body is telling you, by not being able to lose the weight that you want to? And if you do use food as part of connection, let’s start thinking about being intentional with what that looks like for you. What is it that you want to eat? When do you want to stop eating, paying attention to those body cues, and not just eating like everyone else, because that’s what you think you should do. Again, if you want to make changes in your life, you need to start thinking differently about Sid changes. This will open up so many opportunities for you to not only increase your energy, but also gain more time in your life, when you are being more intentional and planning, then you get rid of all of that extra chatter that just drains you and takes up so much time thinking about all of the food stuff, and tell yourself the truth, if you’re not doing the work to lose the weight, call it like it is. So if you’re saying things like, I don’t have time for that, I can’t say no to them, tell the truth, you are choosing to not prioritize your weight loss at the time. And that’s okay. If you say you don’t have time, it just means it’s not a priority. Again, that’s okay. Just don’t be telling yourself that you’re trying to lose weight, and then not doing anything to look at your thinking around it. Not saying no to people, taking care of everybody else and not yourself and then dumping a bunch of shame and judgment on top of yourself. Isn’t it crazy what we do to ourselves, because the scale hasn’t moved. And you somehow think that that’s what makes everything better if the scale moves, call it like it is. And from there, you are so much more empowered in your life.

And please hear me when I say number one, weight loss should be decided by you. And for you not serve as a form of punishment.

Number two, you are the one in control. You choose what you put in your mouth every single day.

Number three, weight loss happens between your ears, what you are thinking about yourself, the food, others, the emotions, what you are willing to feel or not feel all of it that comes from between your ears, not the fork and your mouth. Which is a great thing, right? You’re in total control of what it is that you’re thinking.

Number four, you must do this work from loving your self. Did you hear me there, you must do this work from loving yourself. So many women beat themselves up over a freakin number on a scale, the number is just a number. What you make it mean is everything else. Number five, you need to start loving yourself now and feeling what you think you will feel when you hit that magical number. The thing is, we think we will feel happy when we see the scale hit that number. It’s not that at all. It’s that you have a new thought about that number on the scale. And I would even say, I know I’ve been guilty of this, once you hit said number you might think I should just do a couple more. We don’t even give ourselves credit for what we do accomplish. So celebrate all of the wins along the way. Feel what you think you will feel then now. And I promise you, you will start seeing the changes not only changes, but lasting changes. And here’s why. Notice, notice, notice notice nothing that I said today was about restriction or dieting. It’s about being intentional with your life. It’s not about a number. It’s about finding ways to pay attention to yourself and your mind in order to feel better, in order to do more of what you want. It’s about making this the last time that you are working to lose weight and it’s about doing it in a way that works for you. That, my friend, is what I’m all about doing life in a way that works for you.

Please share this with someone that you think could benefit I know so many women who spend so much time and brain energy on this and we really need to change that. We have so much more to offer the world and I want more of us thinking about how we can make the ripple effect in the world. Not What does the scale tell me today?

Okay friends, please reach out with any questions on the socials, especially Instagram @Michellebouquecoaching. I would love to hear from you especially if you’re having challenges with this. Just send me a DM Okay, as always take what works leave what doesn’t and let’s meet back here next week for another chance to transform your life make it a great day. Take care

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