Ep 220 Top 3 Keys for Accomplishing 2023 Goals
Join me today as I share 3 keys to sticking with your goals. January 13th is “Quitters Day” signifying when most folks stop working towards their New Years Resolutions. It makes sense – in a society of “go big or go home” and perfectionistic thinking, but today I am sharing ways you can accomplish what you most desire. Listen today and make lasting transformational change in your life.
In This Episode:
- The difference between your professional and personal goals
- The key activity to know you why
- Why you don’t need motivation
- Mean girl talk
- YouTube: @michellebourquecoaching
- It’s Your Time planner – www.michellebourquecoaching.com/mytime
Episode Transcript: (Transcribed by OtterAi with minimal edits)
Michelle Bourque 0:01 You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque, and today’s episode, I’m discussing the top three steps you need in order to stay on track for your 2023 goals. Welcome to the Its Your Time podcast, the podcasts were busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.
Michelle Bourque 0:39 Hello, hello. Hello. Welcome back to the podcast. Hey, do you guys know what tomorrow is? Well, yes, it’s Friday the 13th. But do you know what else it is? quitters day, it’s the day most people quit their New Year’s resolutions. And I think I just learned about this day being this old this year. But it makes sense studies show 92% of folks don’t follow through on their resolutions. And I think this happens daily, not just around New Year’s resolutions. Here’s what I find fascinating. If you’re listening to this podcast, you are someone who for sure hits your career goals, your sales numbers are at the top of your goal list and you get them done. But when it comes to goals for your life, ones that you intrinsically set, those tend to be the first ones dropped often because you think the external ones are more important. You get busy running around for work, last minute add ons, maybe family stuff, and you take care of all of that. And then at the end of the day, you’re often stressed or overwhelmed. And this might actually be because of a couple of reasons. Either you feel stuck in life, because you just don’t know what to do. I used to have this thought there has to be more to life than this. Because it seemed like I was constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off for work, and not able to enjoy life or you just don’t even think there is time to do anything more like you are just tapped out. So today, I want to talk to you about three things that you can do in order to feel more on track, and not give up on yourself around your goals. So at the end of this year, you know, you use your energy in a way that best suited you. When you start planning this on purpose, you will begin to realize how much more control you have in your life to create exactly what you want. And this is important because you need to have a way of knowing that your goals, your personal goals are just as important as the external ones. In fact, more important if you look at the bigger picture of what you can accomplish in life, and how everyone will benefit when you start being deliberate in your life. So let’s dive in. Number one, what is your why behind your goal? Think about this. For work. Your WHY is usually it’s how you get paid might be how you pay the mortgage, feed the kids, possibly the pup. And sometimes this is actually for an entirely different podcast because it can be so insidious. But sometimes you gauge you’re worse on the external goals. So there’s a lot of evidence in your brain as to why it’s important. But then I want you to think about what you set for yourself and your personal goals arena, ask yourself this. Is this a goal that you really want to accomplish? Like? Is it a true desire for you? Or is it something that you think you should do? Like lose weight? For example, sometimes I have clients that say they want to lose weight, but it’s tied to either what society says about women and weight, or they think they just should because they’ve been trying for so many years and haven’t been successful. So get quiet and check in? Is the goal something that you really want to do? Or are you just thinking that you should and when you know you have a goal that is truly your desire. Ask yourself why that’s important. So for example, sometimes people will say that they want to be healthy, when it comes to goals around eating better or working out. But remember, your brain is hardwired to avoid pain, seek pleasure and be as efficient as possible. So when the alarm goes off, and you had a late dinner, and you have an early case, and you didn’t get home at the time that you expect it. It’s easy to say and I can be healthy tomorrow. It’s just not A super compelling reason in order to make it compelling. Ask yourself why it’s important to be healthy. So use whatever goal you have. Take your first why the answer to that, and then ask yourself why that’s important. Get that answer and ask yourself again. Why is that answer important? So you are going three levels deep. Why? Why, why? Now, that answer will be way more compelling than your first one. And it will help you get moving, even when you don’t feel motivated to do so. And before I go to number two, I just want to stop and let you know if you go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com/mytime, you can download the planning guide. And this can help you walk through the why why why activity for every goal you make, in fact, I love to use it every single month, and it will be super handy to keep you on track for any goal that you want to accomplish, not just the big ones that you said at the start of the year. Again, Michellebourquecoaching.com/my time. Plus, once you sign up, you’re on my email list, and you will get amazing free content every single week. Okay, number two, motivation. Motivation is funny, isn’t it because people think you need it in order to reach your goals. And so when you don’t feel motivated, you think that means don’t bother or something has gone drastically wrong. Now, neither. Whatever your brain is telling you, when you don’t feel motivated, don’t believe it. The truth is, you simply need to feel willing. And I have to imagine, there are days that you don’t feel motivated, rah rah to go to work, but you are willing, and you do so because you have your reasons why. So let’s bring that energy into your personal goals. Here’s the truth. Once you’re willing, and you start taking action, even a couple of baby steps, you start to build some momentum. And guess what momentum can often lead to motivation. I don’t know if they still have these on the playgrounds. But remember the merry go round. Listen. First off, I was at fat kid that if I even got on it, I was on it first. And I held on for dear life. And I just hoped that the athletic kids would be able to get it going even with me on it, okay. And they did. It usually starts out slow. But then as you get going, things take off, and then the cool kids jump on. And we all get to enjoy the ride. Kind of like your goals. You get started today. Take the baby steps. And guess who really gets to benefit from the momentum that you build? Well, hopefully, it’s you as you are doing it, right. We all hear that enjoy the journey. Even though it’s a cliche, it’s totally true. You need to enjoy the process. It’s not better there than it is right here. So enjoy the process. But also future you gets to benefit. Think about her. And listen, I want you to drop the perfectionistic thinking that taking little steps doesn’t make a difference. It’s not always go big or go home, set your big, hairy audacious goals. Sure, there are times for all of that. But what I want you to create is lasting change, transformational change. And for a lot of you and I include myself in this times, sometimes it’s slowing down in order to be more intentional with your life that can create the most transformation, taking care of you might create the most transformation, investing in your goals could be the difference for you got it. And what I will offer here for you to help get started is the idea that you set a minimum baseline. So let’s look at self care. So many of you want to be able to implement some sense of self care, but you might not even know what that means. Sidenote, it does not mean bubble baths and massages all the times. And my guess is that some of you might not feel motivated to even figure out what that is because you think it will take too much time away from work or from the family. So let’s just start with being willing to consider and use a minimum baseline. So for me, the minimum baseline often will look like I will do minimum 10 minutes of some sort of exercise each morning and minimum 10 minutes of some meditation now do Just about every day, it turns into more of that. But when I can see that I have an early case, and maybe a dinner on my schedule and patients in between. And I know that I likely won’t get my initial goals in, I have a plan B, I know that I can find 20 minutes total to get this in, your minimum baseline can look different. It can be five minutes to just sit in your car, and breeze, whatever it looks like for you. So it might not be the 30 to 45 minutes of working out. And 30 to 40 minutes of meditation that my plan A is but I keep going and build momentum with consistency. And I talked about the idea of plan A and plan B and a class that I recently taught, you can check out the replay on my YouTube channel, Michelle Bourque coaching, and fact, you should check out the replay and get the planner that will be most helpful for you, as you continue to plan your goals and transform your life, do both,
Michelle Bourque 11:06 it’s going to be great for you. Okay, here is the thing that I think can be so helpful as you keep going towards your goals. It’s last but not least, and it’s something that Rhonda and I touched on in last week’s episode with the conversation that I shared, if you missed it, I highly encourage you to go check it out. So it’s last but like I said, not least, in fact, it might even be one of the most important things that you do, and your life in general, drop the judgment of yourself. So often, we set these goals, and then something comes up, things don’t quite go as planned. And then the mean girl shows up loud and clear. And by mean girl, I mean, the voice in your head, we can be so vicious to ourselves. So instead of telling yourself that you should be at home when you’re working late, or you should be doing some work when you’re with your family, or you missed the workout or ate that food, you have to get back on the bandwagon. None of that. In fact, one other side note, there is no wagon, right? We always say I have to get back on the wagon. But there’s no wagon, you don’t have to get back on anything. You just have to show up with some freaking compassion for yourself. Get curious. What happened? What can you learn from it? How will you approach the situation differently next time when I was working on cutting back on wine, this was a big one. So much shame and judgment and negative talk. There’s no upside. And once I got curious about why did I want that glass of wine, then I could see what was going on. And from there, you decide on the changes that you want to make. When you can drop the layer of judgment that you have around anything that you do. I don’t care if it’s a formal goal or not. That’s when everything changes, and more women with less negative internal chatter really makes the world a better place. Let’s give it a whirl, folks. I know a lot of times people think well, that’s how I push myself. If I’m compassionate, I might not get to the goal. Just stop. I mean, listen, if that works for you, Rock on. But for most people, especially the people that I help, you’ve tried it for years, and you’re exhausted, you want something different and I’m here to tell you, there is something different and you will be amazed at what can happen even in one year. Heck, I work with my clients in a 12 week program and the transformations that they make for themselves are amazing. higher sales numbers, setting self care routines, finding the passion for your job again, that is such a big one, creating more time in your life. And it all is so much fun. Okay, so quick recap on keeping on track. Know your why be willing versus motivated. Drop the judgment come to the party with curiosity and compassion. And listen, if you’re ready to get some help with your goals, let’s chat Michellebouruqecoaching.com/mytime, get the planner you’ll be on the email list and you can just simply respond to any email that you receive from me. The responses go directly back to me. So I will be the one to communicate with you so much fun. Okay, friends. That’s what I have for you today. Use what works leave what doesn’t and tune in next week for another opportunity to transform your life. Make it a great day. Take care Michelle Bourque 14:52 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started. To begin