Ep 203 – The #1 Tool for Motivation

Episode Notes:

Today I am talking about the #1 tool for motivation – it may not be what you think.  So many folks believe they need to be motivated in order to accomplish the next goal – but what if that is not true?

Listen today as I share why that might not be the answer – and how you can keep going – even on the days you are not feeling like it

In This Episode:

• Where motivation comes from
• The benefits from being willing to feel – willingness 
• The importance of knowing your subconscious thinking 
• Have grace – and continue on 
• Free guide – 3 Simple Steps to Excel in Your Career Without The Stress and Overwhelm: www.michellebourquecoaching.com/overwhelm

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Episode Transcript (Transcribed by OtterAI with minimal edits)

Michelle Bourque 0:01 You are listening to the it’s your time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque and today’s episode, I’m discussing the number one tool for motivation. Welcome to the pitcher time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Michelle Bourque 0:37 Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast. Friends, it’s so nice to be back here chatting with you. And today I want to talk to you a little about motivation, and consistency. And the reason I thought this would be a great topic is because to be honest, this morning, I woke up and was not feeling motivated. And yet, I still kept going. So today, I want to share a few ideas and tools to help you when you are not feeling motivated. And really touch upon the importance of consistency in those moments. Now remember, our brain is designed on the motivational triad to seek pleasure, avoid pain and be as efficient as possible. We literally have habits around the way we think. And we form our lives through the filter in which we see that it’s neuroscience and neuroscience terms. It’s our reticular activating system. And it will see what we believe to be true, the R A S, it’s what happens, you know, when you buy a new white car, for example, and then all of a sudden, you see the same white cars all around you. They were always there. It’s not like you and your comrades on the road all purchased the same car at the same time. It’s pretty fascinating, actually. So in order to make changes in our lives, in order to become our next new identity, your future self, you have to start changing the way you think. So the number one tool around motivation is looking, I’m sure you are shocked to hear this right at your thoughts. Now. For me this morning, I woke up after not a great night of sleeping for some reason, Marc thought it was a smart idea to wake me up and tell me how messed up the blankets were around me. And for some reason, the dog was up at like 115 instead of two. And after 15 times of seeing glue down, buddy, go lay down, buddy. I caved. And so the day began. Now, I could tell you, I was feeling short and cranky. And so I got my coffee, I started some of my planning and reading like I do every morning. But I knew that I needed to go back to sleep at some point just for a little bit. And I decided to hold off on some of my mindset work until after I got a little more sleep. So the first tip I have for you and those days that you are not motivated, is to have some grace. It’s okay to not always feel motivated. Remember, motivation is a feeling. It’s not something that just all of a sudden, is shot into your system, or rains down on us from above, we have to have thoughts that allow us to feel motivated. And I would also say, on the days when you’re really struggling with finding those thoughts, you still keep going. And you may not always feel motivated, but you might feel willing. And what I love to do in those instances, is tell myself that if I just get it done, I will feel so much better at the end of it. For me, I love the feeling of accomplishment or feeling productive. And so sometimes it’s literally just like when you go to the gym and you tell yourself I know I’ll feel better after I’m done with this same thing around work. Because here’s the thing back to my story if our brain is feeling tired, and we know the motivational triad, right is always going to take the path of least resistance. So in this case, I did allow myself some sleep but with the understanding that I would do my thought work after so I was not totally ignoring it. I was not just passing on the activity that I planned because I knew that I just had this feeling of blah, or maybe dread. So once you assess your situation, look at what it is that you need in order to succeed. What are you just giving into, because of easy thinking or escaping sometimes when we feel something like dread, we might go to the socials, for example, as a way to escape or over eat or grab an extra glass of wine, I assure you. As far as my story goes, the wine was not an option at 2am. I mean, maybe back in the day 2am wine was an option. But those days are long gone. Now I’m getting up at 2am. Right? So look at step number two, which is going to be what are you feeling? So we want to number one, give ourselves some grace, assess the situation. Number two, take a look at the feelings that you are feeling if you are not feeling motivated. And what are those thoughts causing that feeling? So again, for my example, I could tell you, it was this block that I was just not feeling it kind of mood, even even after I had that little extra sleep and my exercise for me, movement will sometimes help me process through those blocked feelings, and the extra endorphins will tend to get me going. And it helped a little, but I could still tell this is that feeling that you have that just has that low, hanging, heavy feeling. And this is where I suggest that you take some time. This is the number one tool around motivation. Even if it’s five to 10 minutes, just start writing. What am I thinking? For me? I was thinking, I had a dinner meeting coming up that didn’t seem like there was going to be great attendance, I was thinking likely it wasn’t going to be worth it. I was thinking it might be a waste of time for people. I always thinking the schedule didn’t seem busy enough for the day, I was thinking something was going wrong in the coaching business, I was thinking I was just going to fail completely at my annual goal and never figure it out. I know. It’s crazy, right? I’ll spare you some of the other thoughts. But here’s the thing I want you to know. And this is so important. So listen up. Because sometimes I think people will tell themselves, they don’t have time to do this work, they don’t have time to sit for the five or 10 minutes and just journal. Again, when I’m speaking of journaling, I don’t care if you take a scrap piece of paper out of your car, a napkin, whatever works for you, it does not have to be this fabulous Pinterest amazing journal, just write this crap down, we want you to see what is going on in your brain. You need to do this work in order to see what you are thinking. You need to be able to see what you are thinking so that you can know your thoughts are not you. So before I started writing, I didn’t even realize I was thinking all of that I just kept thinking, I feel blah. And when you just stay in this cycle of telling yourself that you feel blah, guess what? You continue to feel that way, doing the work to see your thinking to see your thoughts, we’ll break that pattern, we want to be able to interrupt the pattern of your thinking, and it will change the habit of being you. I mean, take that one thought, I’m going to fail completely. Let’s check in on that. Right. I know when I think that it doesn’t feel super motivating. So I need to see that I am thinking that a lot of these thoughts. You guys are going on subconsciously. And we’re not even aware of them. Doing this work is what brings that awareness. And then we get to decide what we want to do in order to change it and decide if you want to continue thinking it. Let me clue you in on a little secret. You don’t have to believe everything you think. In fact, you can speak to yourself more than you listen to yourself. Now.

 

Michelle Bourque 9:39 If you want to feel motivated, I already mentioned you will need a different thought or two because here’s the key folks. It needs to be a thought that you can believe so for me. I chose I’m going to make today productive. Notice. I didn’t go oh two, I’m going to freaking crush my goals and take names along the way. It’s not big jumps that are necessarily needed in order to make the changes. It’s the small steps, it’s starting to take action. Because as you take action, you start to build momentum. And as you build momentum, you become more motivated. And a lot of times what happens is, our brains, especially you high achieving people, pleasing kinda pals, our brain wants to tell us, it has to be the big goals. And we hear this in society sometimes too, right? Go bigger, go home, really stop and think about that. Sure, maybe sometimes that is the plan, you do want to have a big goal. But there are also a couple of steps that could be taken before you just go home. And Darren Hardy talks about this, in his book, The compound effect, which I highly recommend, he talks about small, consistent actions over time, leading to lasting change. Imagine if you could become 1% Better, every single day. And one year, that change would be astonishing. But instead, we have people or in truth, our brains tell us to just go home. Seriously, our brain wants to keep us safe and sound. And Home is where that might lead to. This is the work, building motivation within yourself. working and doing the project that you commit it you may be even if you don’t feel motivated, because you are choosing to think that you will feel better on the other side, making the small consistent changes so that you can become your next best version of yourself. Sure, I could have just moved around for the day and kind of felt blah, all day long. And in the past those days, I would also usually plan a Panera stop, you know, broccoli cheddar soup, some bread, warm chocolate chip cookie. It all sounds amazing, right? Until I feel sick after eating it. So what is it for you on those days? When you’re just not feeling it? How do you show up in a way that number one cares for yourself and not at the expense of yourself. You hear what I’m saying? There are days when we might need to rest. But most of the time, it’s just our brain wanting to remain the same. It will never, I assure you never by default, just feel motivated to change. It’s not the design of our lizard monkey reptilian brain, we need to use our prefrontal cortex on purpose, to generate motivation. And to do it consistently in ways that could be large perhaps, but most likely, will be small. And recognize that it is okay. Small changes will lead to amazing results. Think about this example that Hardy gives in his book he discusses a plane that is scheduled to go from point A to point B and the plane is 1% off the flight plan on a six hour flight. Guess what? After the six hours, it’s at a totally different location. One person friends consistency that is the key being consistent with your thinking is what builds motivation. It’s not external factors. It’s you. It’s your thinking that you are choosing on purpose, which is a great thing. You are in complete control. Now, Michelle Bourque 14:24 I will tell you, I started writing this podcast the morning of the dinner and I happened to record it after the dinner which actually turned out pretty well. It didn’t fully meet our expectations but we learned a few things from it and it was still super useful. And this is the important thing to know. We get to frame how we want the circumstances to be I could have remained and that I don’t know I feel blah phase but because I did the mindset work. The stuff that I am urging you all to Do I was able to see and I could choose on purpose to go to the dinner thinking, we’re going to make the best of this. And guess what? It’s exactly what the team did. You get to decide, and you get to have your own back in those moments and appreciate when you do get motivated. I assure I’m happy that I did. I was able to come chat with you here. And I plan to take the next small step. We got this friends, maybe your thought is as simple as that. I got this. Okay, friends, that’s what I have for you today.

Remember, you can always reach out to me with any questions on the socials at Michelle Bourque coaching and if you’re feeling like you are just so stressed and overwhelmed and not feeling motivated, please be sure to go to Michellebourquecoaching.com And there you can download a free guide with three simple steps to help you excel in your career. But without the stress and overwhelm so that you can do more of what you want. Let’s plan to circle back next week but for now, make it a great day take care

Michelle Bourque 16:19 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michelle Burt coaching.com and click on get started to begin