Ep 192 Overwhelm in Life
Join me today as I discuss overwhelm in life. We are at the half way mark of the year and summer schedules can add a new challenge in life. Listen today as I talk about what overwhelm is, what overwhelm is not, and how you can have less of it over the next couple of months.
In This Episode:
- Overwhelm with changing schedules
- Gaining clarity on what needs to be done
- Overwhelm as a fact
- Overwhelm as a thought
- Results from overwhelm
- The #1 thing you can do for less overwhelm
- Connect with me: www.michellebourquecoaching.com/connect
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Michelle Bourque 0:01
You are listening to the richer time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Burke and today’s episode I’m discussing overwhelm in life. Welcome to the It’s Your Time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.
Michelle Bourque 0:37
Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends. How are you doing today? Like really doing because here we are at the end of June. And I’m guessing most kids are officially out of school. Summer vacations are in the works. Schedules are a changing. And yet, I’m guessing you still have to go to work as normal, and have the deadlines to still meet. And it can be quite overwhelming. Or let me be more accurate, it can feel overwhelming. And there is a big difference here between thinking life as a circumstance is overwhelming. And seeing that you are feeling overwhelmed. And this is whether you have kids or not. Because when you are thinking that you’re overwhelmed and feeling overwhelmed. A lot of times we think it’s due to the external circumstances. So again, it might not be that you have kids out of school. What is it for you that when you think about it, it makes you feel overwhelmed. Here’s the difference. If I’m talking to you, and you just start telling me all the things that are going on, and how you are so overwhelmed, like you are telling me as if it is just the news, and you think it just seems to be a fact of life. Hey, sidenote, I love that show back in the day. And that song was right, wasn’t it, you take the good, you take the bet you take them both. And then you have the facts of life. I mean, sometimes I digress here, but I think this one is on point because life is taking the good and taking the bad, right. And I’m always talking about 50/50. And that’s what it is here, my friend. And that song also mentions how the facts of life, it’s all about learning about you, you you. And that is the work that we do here. Because if you think your circumstance in life is overwhelm, you are pretty host. However, if you know, the overwhelm comes from your thinking, which it does remember the think feel act cycle, then you are way more empowered to make the changes that you are so craving. And this will be a side note, for any of you who are not familiar with the facts of life, you should go check it out, I’m sure it’s streaming or on YouTube or somewhere that you can find it okay. But let’s break this down. Let’s look at the overwhelm and show you ways how this work is going to be able to help you as you enter this time of year and quite honestly, anytime that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Now, if I’m saying the circumstance is not overwhelm, then you might be asking, well, what would it be? To which I would say that is a great question. The circumstance I want you to write down as you journal on this or think about it as you’re driving. Honestly, taking the time on paper, pencil or pen to paper is really more useful for you. There is research that shows that, but I know many of you listen, and you drive. So think about exactly what items you have on your to do list. Write them all down. And you must be specific here. So for example, I have one project for work due on Friday. I have two kids, I need to get signed up for camp.
Michelle Bourque 4:22 I have one partner who I said I would do date day with on Saturday. I have two bathrooms to clean on Sunday, whatever the items are, put those on the list, not something like I have so much to do. That is a thought. And we know all thoughts are optional. And we get to choose if we think they are useful. A lot of times our brain wants to tell us here. Let me share an example that I just had this morning and I thought I have so many posts that I need to schedule for the coaching business And then I have to ask myself, what exactly does that mean? Or sometimes I will catch myself saying, I have so many patients to call back. What does that mean? For the post, you know what it actually was for, I had four posts that I wanted to get scheduled by the end of the day, the story with the patients, I had three patients to call back, notice the difference between, I have so much to do. And I have three patients to call, I can consider thinking, okay, I can totally get that done from 12 to 1230. Today, that doesn’t feel as overwhelming. Overwhelm friend is created in our brains. When we think things like I can’t do all of this, or I have so much to do. The schedules are all out of whack now, no, no, no, no, don’t tell yourself that any more, you are badass, you always figure it out. And if you’ve been here for a while, now you have some coaching tools at your disposal to try and it will only get better for you. So let’s continue looking at the overwhelm model. And I want you to see how the model or same as the idea I talked about, think feel act, it’s the same concept, I might just use the two interchangeably. But let’s see how you get your results in life. Let’s say you get the facts on paper of what you specifically want to get done. Now, I am going to take a pause here. Because I want you to really get clear on the items that you’re telling yourself, you have to do or you need to do. And I want you to own that you want to do them. And you might at first say like, no, no, no, I don’t want to do this, I have to do it. That is also not useful. And quite honestly, you do not have to do any of it. If it is something for your kids, listen, there are moms that don’t do much for their kids, you are choosing to do it. So own that, if it’s at work that you just have to make sure you get this project done. You don’t have to do it. There are also workers that are slackers. And they don’t necessarily have the same thoughts you do. So own what it is that you want to get done on your list that is so much more empowering for you. Okay, that’s my rant there. Let’s continue with looking at what you have on your list. And when you’re thinking, I can’t possibly get this all done, thinking I can’t possibly get this all done makes you feel overwhelmed. And when you are feeling overwhelmed, what do you tend to do? I’ll take a guess here based on myself and work with clients and how I see most folks respond. When you feel overwhelmed, you don’t usually know where to start. So you’re confused as to what needs to get done now. And as you sit in confusion, usually you aren’t doing anything, or you might feel overwhelmed, and then go to the pantry to grab a bite to eat or to the wine cabinet to grab a glass of wine so that the food or the wine can take the edge off and help you to relax from feeling overwhelmed. But then you are either falling asleep earlier than you want it to or you feel a little bit overstuffed. And you tell yourself, you can figure it out tomorrow. And then what is the result you get from all of this, you didn’t get anything done, but not because you quote unquote, have so much to do. It’s because you are thinking you can’t possibly get it done. And then you are feeling overwhelmed. And then you are taking the actions that I just mentioned or inaction, which leads you to then not getting it done. So thinking
Michelle Bourque 9:11 you can’t possibly get it all done is not useful. So question that. How can you get these things done? And I would say before you go there, again, ask yourself, things like what is on this list that you are doing, that you truly want to do? What is on the list or you’re doing things for others that you really don’t want to be doing? And what on the list are you doing? Because you think others think you should be doing it? Right? Our brain tells us some of the craziest stories and it loves to play tricks on us. And we need to be on top of that crap. So what on the list? Are you just doing because you are people pleasing Knock that off. If you want to start feeling better, you need to start getting crystal clear on what is important to you. So often, we run around like chickens with our heads cut off, especially as women thinking that we need to control the world. We need to make everything right at work and at home. And it comes at our expense. And I remember when I was in my 20s, I think it was I was starting as an intern. This makes me go back and think about a time when one of my dear friends said, Michelle, you do not have to stay here at work later. You do not have to be a martyr. And I think back then I didn’t even really know what she meant. But trust me, I do now. And there’s a lot of you out there, we need to start changing the conversation, I want us to just start chipping away at thinking we need to do it all or else it falls apart. What if that wasn’t true? What if we just need to start being courageous enough to ask for help? And to set boundaries? And to start seeing no. So that we can open up more opportunities for yes, in our life, in areas of your life, where you really want to be seeing Yes, cross off the things on your list that are not going to serve you. It really can be different now. So when you are thinking about your future self, the one at the end of summer, let’s say, What do you want to think of her? How do you see yourself telling the story about how your summer went? Do you want to keep telling the story about how it was so overwhelming. And you just can’t wait for the kids to go back to school, or you can’t wait to get back on track with your work projects. I know sometimes for me, it’s not the kids, obviously, I don’t have them. But we do take time away. And that changes my work schedule. And I can say how it gets so nuts when I’m away from work. Or I can think I always prioritize, I always know exactly what needs to be done when I return. There is so much more power and choosing lush thoughts that help you accomplish your goals. Just the idea of having lush thoughts sounds so fun, doesn’t it? Last thoughts will help you feel better along the way. So visualize what a lush thinking future self version of you wants to think and feel at the end of the next 60 days. And practice showing up like her today become her now. When you have a future self goal, you think about her and every decision that you make today. And it makes you way more present and your current life. And I will also say a tip from a strategy standpoint that I’ve embraced. And I continue to fine tune, quite frankly, every day is not just making a to do list. I start there. But then I put action items on my calendar in a specific time slot. And I will tell you, I get so much more done doing that. Because otherwise, I have the list. And sometimes the list can seem overwhelming. And I think, oh, what should I do now? When I put it on the calendar? I just know. That’s as good as done. And with that, because my schedule varies, right? So I might have a two hour delay, or a 15 minute wait. So I like to have some things in sections of a kind of to do list. But it’s in chunked out timeframes. So that I know if I’m going to be delayed for an hour, I’m going to do XYZ, I know that I can do a training or test for example, if I’m delayed for 15 minutes, I might update patient files. So we just keep a running list of things to do in that specific time chunk.
Michelle Bourque 14:05 So that when I have that delay, I’m not doing things like texting people about how terrible it is that I have this time to wait, or I’m not just Mindlessly scrolling on Facebook or Instagram, like I am getting shit done. Right? Like Have yourself a list of where you can interchange and stick in items that you want to accomplish by the end of the week. And you know, it will only take you 15 minutes and you can get it done. Because then you know, like, Okay, if this happens, I check out this list and it really does help to decrease the overwhelm. Because when I have a system in place, my thought is I know exactly what to do. And I will tell you, it wasn’t always that way. And this is why I do this to help you not feel like I used to and to be able to show up up and to see how powerful your mindset really is in achieving your goals and feeling better in your life. Okay friends, listen, if you are feeling so overwhelmed right now that you don’t even know where to start, let’s hop on a free call. I can totally help you see some different options and get started. Just go to www.michellebourquecoaching.com/Connect. I will have the link in the notes and we can just get started there. Okay, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week but for now, make it a great day. Take care
Michelle Bourque 15:41 Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michelle Burt coaching.com and click on get started to begin