Ep 190 Conversation with Money Mindset Coach Natasha Tekeste
Podcast day! Today I have a treat for you as I share a recent conversation with Money Mindset coach Natasha Tekeste. Natasha teaches people how to love the money they have , while also love the process of earning and creating more more – because it is possible for money to be easy and fun.
In This Episode:
- Money Mindset Coach Natasha Tekeste – https://www.natashatekeste.com and IG:
- Past money beliefs and how to change them
- Abundance vs scarcity thinking
- Sales and competition
- Gaining confidence around money
- Money changing the world
- Lies about money
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Episode Transcript:
Michelle Bourque
You are listening to the richer time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. And today’s episode, I’m sharing a conversation with money mindset coach Natasha to kesti. Welcome to the richer time Podcast, the podcast where busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.
Michelle Bourque
Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast. Friends, I have a treat for you today, Episode 190. And as you know, that means I either share a mentor, or a book, or today an interview. And I have to tell you, I feel so fortunate that recently I’ve been able to bring some strong, powerful women here who are doing the work in the world to help more folks. And today, I’m sharing a conversation with Natasha to kesti. And Natasha is a money mindset coach for women and people socialized as women who want to earn more money. I say cheers to that baby. She works with women who want to shift their beliefs around money and health, so they can leave the drama behind and focus on actually doing the work that they love to do. She teaches people how to love the money they have while also loving the process of earning and creating more, because it is possible for money to be easy and fun. Did you hear that? It is possible for money to be easy and fun. Now, Natasha is an advanced certified life coach. She has a business degree from the University of Alberta, a master’s degree in adult education from the University of Calgary and a certificate in mediation and negotiation from York University. She is a Chartered Professional and human resources with over 10 years of HR experience. We recently talked about money, money, money, and honestly, it’s so much more than money. So if you want to learn some new ways to think about money, why it’s important to have an abundance mindset around money, and why your money has nothing to do with your worthiness, or your sales expertise or your confidence. You need to listen, it was so much fun. And as always, we set this up as if you are just listening in on our discussion. So not much editing, you’re just listening in. And without further ado, please enjoy it. Thank you so much for being here. This is going to be so much fun talking money. So before we kind of dive in, why don’t you tell everyone a little bit about yourself who you help all of the goodness.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, totally. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. Michelle, I’m super excited to be here. So my name is Natasha testy. And I am a money mindset coach. So I work with two different types of people. So I work with women who work as employees and organizations who want to increase their salary, make more money at work, or who want to maybe apply for a promotion. And then I work with entrepreneurs, so people who are in sales or business and want to grow and scale or earn more money in their kind of entrepreneurial Avenue or whatever you want to call that.
Michelle Bourque
Perfect. And what would you say is money mindset coaching? Because I think for a lot of folks listening, they think it’s all about just the money. But how do you explain it?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, that’s such a great question. So I always think of money mindset, as your thoughts and your beliefs about money. So it’s more than just your budget or how much you earn or the dollars and cents. And it’s actually looking at your relationship with money and how you are showing up to either earn it or save it, spend it and just really exploring and digging into your thoughts and, and your feelings around money. A lot of people feel a lot of shame and judgment and guilt around money. And so we look at your beliefs and how you’re thinking about the money that you have an earn and you know the potential that you can create, to really understand and explore whether or not those beliefs are actually serving you and helping you create the results that you want.
Michelle Bourque
I love that I love the idea of having a relationship with money. And I know that you have advanced feminists coaching certification or training. So when you’re working with high achieving women, what do you see as maybe some of the patterns or beliefs around money mindset.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, I think that a lot of people feel so much shame and guilt and judgment around their money, like I mentioned before, I think they think there’s a right way to do money to spend it to earn it. And so they’re just trying to figure out what that right way is, as opposed to getting curious about what might actually make sense for them. What is it that they actually want to do? How do they want to show up with their money and spend it in a way that really serves them and creates the experiences in life that they want to have? I think there’s a lot of worthiness that gets tied up in money as well. So for example, we kind of conflate our like financial value with our human value. And we think that the amount of money we earn actually has something to do with who we are as a human. Whereas in reality, that’s never the case, we could never ever pay someone the amount that they’re worth, because your human life is immeasurable, right? So it’s like, you need to actually separate those two things. There’s like an economic value of maybe what someone would pay for a service or product. And then there’s your own human value, which is never for sale, which is never something that we’re valuing at all.
Michelle Bourque
Yeah, that is such an important part. And I know even for myself, like I still work on this, because growing up when we’re talking about beliefs, like my dad was a hard worker, right. And so we want to be frugal, and it almost was more noble to not have money. And so I see, as I’ve gone through the sales ranks and made more money, made more money made more money, that I actually still accumulate, accumulate that debt, or like, I’m always spending it like, I had one coach who one time said to me, you work really hard to stay poor, because it was that idea of like, we shouldn’t have too much. We don’t want to be greedy. Do you see that in your practice, when you talk about like the shame around money also?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, totally. Like, I always like to say that you can’t out earn a scarcity mindset. So it doesn’t matter how much money you’re earning. If you believe that you’re not good with money, and that there isn’t enough money, you will always find ways to overspend and get rid of it and be in debt and continue that cycle. Right. So I think that is so true. So it’s like, the first part really has to be like, looking at the emotions that you have around your relationship with money, and that they’re predominantly negative emotions, like shame, judgment, guilt, will pressure, anxiety, overwhelm whatever it
Michelle Bourque
is all those fun ones.
Natasha Tekeste
Right, that’s going to be fueling actions, like wanting to hide from the money or wanting to overspend or wanting to just like, not talk about it or not try to increase your earnings or whatever the case may be.
Michelle Bourque
And you see that I when you talk about hiding it or not looking at it, like I know, for example, for myself, I’d love to know what you see in your practice, something along those lines could simply being like not looking at the credit card statements, or, you know, not really balancing the checkbook or, you know, what is it that you see, when you’re working with clients?
Natasha Tekeste
Totally, I think people just want to ignore it and not look at it and run away from it, which is such a primal reaction that comes from shame, right? It’s like, we don’t need to make that mean something bad about the person who wants to ignore, it’s just, let’s just know that that’s coming from shame. And that’s okay. And we can actually just start by de shame, applying your money decisions, like there isn’t a right or wrong away, you’re always allowed to use and spend your money and earn your money in ways that you want to. And it’s really about you taking back your authority around money, as opposed to following these like random arbitrary rules that society has like given us that maybe don’t apply to you and your situation, yet, you’re just using them as ways to kind of judge yourself and like, shame yourself and continue that pattern.
Michelle Bourque
Oh, that’s so good. What do you think are some of those like society rules that that sometimes women will kind of succumb to?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, I think that there’s ideas about how much of your money should go to certain parts of your life like this is how much you should spend on housing or groceries or gas or vehicles or whatever. And it’s like, yeah, maybe those are kind of guidelines, that could be helpful, but maybe they don’t actually make sense for you in your life. And so it’s like, what do you actually want to do? How do you want to show up with your money? And I think part of it is like, if you have debt, like there’s this idea that you have to just like pay it off, because debt is the worst thing that
Michelle Bourque
could be happier. I never said yes, that would be
Natasha Tekeste
that doesn’t like fuel people taking productive action towards addressing their debt that just makes them feel like they’re bad humans for having it in the first place. So like, let’s actually just look at debt for what it is, which is just a neutral fact and neutral circumstance out there. And you can decide to show up in relation to that debt however you want to, because I I actually think that the debt that people have have has always serve them in some way. So right like it could be mortgage debt, it could be vehicle school student loans, it could be credit card debt. But regardless of the debt that you have, it has like helped you get to this point in your life and helped you in some way, especially if it was like overspending debt on a credit card, like, let’s just call it out as maybe that was a coping mechanism that you needed at the time, and you didn’t have any other supports or any other skills. And that was actually a beautiful thing that you could do to help yourself, be able to, like, get through that,
Michelle Bourque
that is such a great piece of information, because I do try to look back now at like credit card debt, for example, as being, it’s what helped me get through coach training, right? Or like, at that time, it was for a purpose that was in the future going to be greater than what it is that I’m doing right now.
Natasha Tekeste
Totally, that’s the only way you can look at it, right? Because if you are just stuck in the past, ruminating on those decisions, questioning why you bought that item, or why you, you know, paid for that thing that you didn’t want or whatever, then you’re not actually going to create the change for yourself now and for yourself in the future. So like, it’s okay, that exists, it’s okay that it’s there. Like, let’s not make it a problem. Let’s not use it to measure your worth as a human and decide whether you’re a bad person or not. Let’s just like look at it as like a fact around us. And then you can like decide how you want to show up in relation to that totally.
Michelle Bourque
So great. Now, when you talk about D shaming, do you have certain like tips or tools that you use with your clients to try to move them through the process of like, they’re here now in the shame cycle and like moving them into more of an abundance mindset instead of scarcity?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, so I think the first thing that is so important is being willing to name the shame and feel the shame. Oftentimes, we’re just like, not even willing to look at it or call it out. I remember when I was like, first acknowledging shame in my own life, and I just like burst into tears talking about it, it was just so heavy for me. So I think the first step is just meet it with some love and compassion and kindness and just see that it’s there. And start to get curious about honestly, like, what it feels like in your body to be in shame. Because when you start to notice how it feels, then it becomes less scary. It’s less of this like outside thing that’s like chasing you. And you can start to familiarize yourself with it and realize that like, okay, shame as an emotion isn’t actually that bad. I have the capacity to feel it, I’m okay to like, be with it and get to know it. And then once you’ve been willing to sit with it and get curious and understand it, then you can start to like look at the beliefs that are actually generating that shame, and start to question those. But if you’re like not even willing to look at the shame in the first place, and it’s really hard to even question those beliefs, because the shame just this like is overbearing monster that you like, can’t even move through,
Michelle Bourque
right. And some of the beliefs may come from family, like through years of history, right? That you don’t want to be too greedy, or you shouldn’t have too much, or that money doesn’t grow on trees, or all of those money’s the root of all evil.
Natasha Tekeste
Totally, I think a lot of those beliefs. Yeah, we’ve inherited either from our family, our friends, I also think there’s a lot about how women are socialized to think about the relationship to money. Oftentimes, we see women in movies or TV shows as quite frivolous spenders, as people who are kind of immature with money, don’t know how to handle money. And usually the way it’s represented in TV shows or kind of in media is that men are the ones who are the ones who control the money and who know what’s happening and who are like responsible investors and stewards of money. And so all of those little messages that we get from society totally shift how we think about our relationship to money. And so we believe that women are inherently bad or dumb or not as capable with money as men, then we’re going to show up in that way as well.
Michelle Bourque
Yeah, and when you say that it also makes me think about I know, many of the women listening now are most likely the breadwinners in the family. So where do you see that if you’re working with high achieving women, and they are the ones that are making money? Like where do you see patterns or cycles, I guess, of society, and how we’ve been told in the past that it’s supposed to be the men who make the money. And that’s not the way it is.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, totally. I think that is like there’s two different parallel systems kind of happening where women are socialized to think that like, they aren’t the breadwinners, or they aren’t people who are good with money. And these types of beliefs negatively impact men because they’re also taught that they’re supposed to be the ones who are making loads of money and having lots of power in society. And if they’re not, they’re somewhat like failing as a man and failing in their responsibilities as like a caregiver of a household. But like all of that is It’s just so untrue for both like parties in a relationship or whatever. So it’s questioning and looking at how it negatively impacts everyone. It’s not like serving anyone in the situation to have ideas and notions around money.
Michelle Bourque
That is such a great point that it’s, it’s affecting everyone around us, not just the female making the money. But then what does it look like for the male, super interesting. And I want to come back to more towards the end of the relationship, because you started with that with money and scarcity. And we’ll talk about what that looks like. But I do want to before we get there also talk about competition and sales, because many of the women who are listening are in sales. And I know you’ve talked about competition. And when I look at, like, interactions that I’ve had with other women who I think would be amazing sales people, and I suggested to them, they’re like, oh, no, no, no, no, I couldn’t possibly be in sales. And I think I saw that you say sales is not a bad word. Can you talk a little bit about what your thoughts are around money, competition and selling? Yeah,
Natasha Tekeste
totally. I love this question. So I love to think that there is no competition for anyone, I’m just like, you are always you, you are the only person that is you. There is literally no competition. There is just examples of what other people are doing that you can like utilize to help yourself learn and grow and show up in different ways. So I’m like nobody’s in competition with anyone. You’re, there’s like so many clients out there, there’s so much possibility. There’s so much potential out there there like, isn’t that scarcity of like, I’m competing against you for resources?
Michelle Bourque
Yes. And I think that is so important, I just want to jump in. Because I know that especially in my field, is a super competitive field. And it is almost frowned upon if you are not, quote unquote, competitive, or if you don’t think that you should be competitive. But I know Simon Sinek talks about this also, right, the infinite mindset. So when you’re talking about scarcity and abundance, it’s not saying that by not being competitive, you’re kind of sitting back and eating bonbons, it’s like, no, there’s so much more to be had, right?
Natasha Tekeste
There’s enough for us all, we don’t actually have to see each others as like adversaries, we can actually work together and learn from each other and grow. So I think like, even in highly competitive industries, like I know, for me, it doesn’t serve me to think about the competition and to think about who I’m like chasing or who I’m beating, it just is a waste of my time and mental energy. And that’s what I mean that I don’t think about the competition, I stay focused on myself and what I want to do and what are my goals and what’s working for me, because when I’m thinking about other people, every single moment that I’m thinking about them is time that I’m not spent thinking about me and my business and what I want to do, so it’s like raining that energy back into something that actually feels good and empowering for you. Right? Like when you’re thinking about other people, you’re probably in this like hustle, anxious, overwhelmed type of situation where it just feels like urgent and you have to act now. We rarely make good decisions. And we’re coming from that urgent place of scarcity that we need to act in this moment.
Michelle Bourque
Yes. And I think that goes in line with a lot of the folks that I work with, it’s also the busy badge of honor. Right? So it’s competition, and you’re going and you’re going. And that doesn’t always mean you’re being strategic with your money with your time with your energy, all of it.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, exactly. I think sometimes we just like to fill the space, because we think that hustling and filling the space feels good. But I think sometimes it actually takes us away from achieving bigger goals and making even more money, because we’re slowing down and being really intentional and purposeful, of how we want to show up rather than just like hustling for a few dollars and cents.
Michelle Bourque
Yeah, that is such a great point. And as you say that I wonder if it’s also subconsciously part of that idea. Again, if we’re talking about females who are hustling for their worthiness for maybe not going on to bigger and better things, if that’s part of the programming that we have, and we might not even be aware of it.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, totally right. If you think that the sales means that you are a good person or doing a good job, or more worthy, the more sales that you get, of course, you’re going to always be trying to like hustle and rush and get there. But if we like take your worthiness off the table, and we’re like, No, you were always a good human, you were always worthy. That isn’t what’s at stake here. That’s not what we’re trying to figure out. Then you can actually be more intentional and how you want to show up in the sales conversations too, right? Like if you’re bringing urgent hustled scarce energy to a conversation in sales. You’re probably not even going to make the sale you’re probably To scare off a potential you’re bringing, you know, really confident energy where you’re like, proud of yourself and proud of the product that you’re selling. And you want to talk about how amazing it is. And that’s the energy and space that you’re in.
Michelle Bourque
Yes, that’s so good. And you have a background in HR for almost a decade, right? Yeah. What do you see? or what have you seen as far as women going for promotions? I know, there’s a lot of information and research about how women will most likely wait until all of the boxes are checked before they will throw their hat in the ring. What do you see in regards to imposter syndrome and how that might tie in to like money beliefs?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, so much of that. That was I think one of the most surprising things for me to just like, see, coming up over and over again, throughout my HR career was to see all of these high achieving very successful women in work environments, just be so full of imposter syndrome. And so discounting their abilities and successes and capabilities in the work environment, like so much so that they would go into performance review conversations, just anxious about being fired or anxious about like getting a bad review, and not getting a promotion or not getting a salary increase, that they wouldn’t even be preparing for these conversations, you know, going into them being like, hey, here’s all my achievements, here’s where I really rocked it. These are like my strengths and my contributions. But if you’re always thinking about like, someone’s going to devalue me, or I’m going to get fired, or I’m not going to be performing like then you’re not spending any time being able to, like sell yourself in these conversations and be like, No, I am a star performer. Here is the strengths that I have. Here’s what I offer the team. That’s not to say that you don’t have weaknesses. And I think that’s maybe the part that we conflate is we think having some weaknesses means that we’re an impostor, but like, that’s the part that’s not true, because we like all have weaknesses. So let’s just acknowledge and call that part out. It’s okay, let that be part of it. And then you can focus on like, identifying those and figuring it out. Like what do you want to do about the weaknesses in a way that isn’t a moral failing? Or means that you’re like not successful at work?
Michelle Bourque
Do you think and this kind of ties back in your advanced feminist training, that part of that also the whole selling yourself, and these are my achievements, and this is what I’ve done, goes back to conditioning that we’ve had through the years that we shouldn’t be too loud. Women should be being and not heard, or,
Natasha Tekeste
yeah, it’s like not wanting to take up space. Because it’s like, if we view taking up space, in a confident manner as arrogant, we’re like, Well, I don’t want to be arrogant. I don’t want other people to judge me negatively, and have these negative thoughts about me, when in reality, having confidence in yourself, isn’t actually arrogance. It’s not boastful, it’s not like you’re putting other people down in order to make yourself look better. Those types of actions actually, I think, come from a lack of self esteem, when we’re trying to put ourselves in a power position and make ourselves like seem better than other people. When I think we have real true confidence. We’re just like, showing up talking about ourselves with love and acknowledging like, you know, that we are humans who can do incredible and amazing things, and we want to celebrate those, and, you know, make them president or make them known in a way that isn’t disrespectful to other people. And there’s nothing wrong with saying like, Hey, I have made these achievements, this is something that I’m proud of, because taking time to be proud of what we’ve done actually leads to, you know, being able to take on new projects, or take on different work or try different achievements, right?
Michelle Bourque
I think it’s so important. And I think people, it goes back to the scarcity mindset, right? Like, if I’m confident, then people will think when you’re thinking that’s arrogant, that then I think that you cannot have confidence. But that’s not it. It’s like, I can be confident and still want you to be confident and do well. And it’s the abundance of like, everybody can rock it.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, there’s enough space for all of us to be confident and love ourselves. And actually, it’s better when we all are showing up in that way, rather than when we’re trying to just like compete to like, prove that we’re more worthy than someone else. Like that isn’t going to create results for anyone that anyone is looking for. Right?
Michelle Bourque
Right. Absolutely. That’s so good. Now, I want to kind of circle back to the idea of the relationship part of it, because I think this can be helpful for people. I think oftentimes, we look at money as just a material thing, right? It’s just the object. It’s the checks and balances. And the funny thing is like, nowadays, especially money, it’s we don’t even hold it in our hands a lot of times, right, it’s like a computer. So how do you explain to your clients like what exactly it means to have a an amazing relationship, I guess with money to be able to, let’s get more of it and talk about it and and be okay with talking about it.
Natasha Tekeste
Yes. So I think it’s up to each person to kind of define what they want that relationship to look like, and feel like what I know, for me, I just think of money as a tool. So it is a tool for me to utilize in a way to create the life that I want. It is something that I can use to just like show up in my daily life. It’s not a reflection of who I am, it’s not a measure of how successful I am or how much I failed in life. Like, I just take all of that off the table. And I’m like, Oh, this is just a tool to like, buy experiences or things or time or whatever, and help me show up to the world in the way that I want to.
Michelle Bourque
I think that’s so important, too. And when you talk again, about the abundance and scarcity mindset, like I think of money as in the past, it’s been like, a pie, right? Like, we only all get a piece of it versus like, it’s really the ocean. It’s like, it never ends. There’s money for everybody.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, exactly. Right. So it’s like, isn’t this limited resource because like, like you said, there, it’s not like we’re tangibly touching money. It’s not like, there’s like an amount of paper and coins that are like exchanging at this day and age, it’s literally just all digital currency. So we’re actually just talking about numbers on a screen. It’s not even like something that we’re touching and using. So and it’s like, thinking about it is like it’s in a meta way. Like it’s like made up by people. And it really is just like, human minds, or what have like, created the value of currency. And we’re the ones who determine the value of it in terms of like, what we want to buy, or where we want to spend, or I’m what you what is it like, right, there’s so much more to it than just like, it is this pie of dollars that I need to earn to create this life. And I, I see that a lot actually, in some of my clients where they think that amount of money that they need to feel safe, is based on how much their current bills are. So they’re like, my current bills, let’s say are like $5,000 a month. So I need $5,000 A month that is like how much I need to feel good. But I always like to point out to them that that $5,000 is so arbitrary, and like that’s based on your current life, your current bills, whatever that may be, but like, if your bills were $2,000, then you’d be like, well, I need $2,000 to feel safe. If your bills were 10,000, then you would think that and likely the amount of money that you need is going to change throughout your lifetime. Because you’re not just living this like set, you know, stationary life where it doesn’t actually change. So it’s just starting to recognize the like arbitrary and subjective nature that we’ve placed on the value of money.
Michelle Bourque
Yeah, that is such a great point, because a lot of the folks listening are also in commission sales. So I even look at myself, like what I needed in the past to feel safe. And I think about like, why go back 1617 years, like I would have never imagined what I’m making now. And yet, I still have the same thoughts that I’ve had back then. Right. So that goes back to the credit card debt, or however you’re living. And I hear coaches who are making millions of dollars say it doesn’t that that number you keep striving for like that is not what creates the safety because then when you get to the million dollars, you start spending in a way that is true to your beliefs.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, exactly. Like you have to work on creating that emotional safety for yourself in advance regardless of the dollars coming in and out of your bank account. And that is so it goes back to like Why say you can’t out earn scarcity as a mindset, you really have to work on generating your own trust in yourself being like, I have made it this far I can continue to make it no matter what happens to me, like, I always have me, I have my brain, I have my skill set, I have my abilities to show up in the world and earn a living for myself, regardless of how much someone is choosing to pay me whether it’s an employer, whether it’s clients, whether it’s, you know, sales in a in a month, right? Like it’s, it’s just like not putting that emotional safety on those external circumstances, because they will never create it for you. You might feel safe for one minute after you’ve like, made your commission goal for the month. But then the next month happens and then you feel anxious all over again.
Michelle Bourque
100%. Because I think we even often will say it’s so great. It’s the most important quarter in history, like the one that you’re starting, or you go from hero to zero, like what have you done for me lately? It’s all of those kinds of thoughts and you know, cliches I guess but that is not what is important. It’s you creating your own safety is what you’re saying.
Natasha Tekeste
Exactly. And I think it’s really funny when you’ve like worked in an environment for so long. Like let’s say you work in commission based sales for a year or a couple years, right? You start to see the patterns play out and catch it right. Like notice how once you’ve hit your goal, your brain is like, oh, yeah, okay, cool, we’re safe. And then as soon as the next month hit, you’re in that hustle again. And once you start to see the patterns play out, you can recognize that it is never the dollars that you earn that generates emotional safety for you long term Herm, it is always your belief in yourself, and how you’re showing up to like love and trust and like, be kind to yourself as a human in the moment.
Michelle Bourque
That’s so important. I think that’s a theme that has kind of gone through this whole conversation is that the money does not determine your worthiness, that, again, is you believing in yourself and knowing you’re worthy. And then also your emotional safety, again, does not come from the money, it is your belief in yourself and what you’re setting yourself up for.
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, totally. Because when you believe in yourself, and you believe that it’s possible for you to earn money, or to make more or to achieve your goals, then you are showing up from a place of like, possibility, and hope and love, and all of that feels so good. And so nourishing and grounding in your body, versus generating anxiety and overwhelm and perfectionism and stress and all of those things, which just feel so like, they feel awful to like live in that space. And it doesn’t generate you showing up and being excited and proud and like wanting to sell what it is that you have to sell.
Michelle Bourque
And what would you say to someone who is like, Okay, I listen to this podcast, I’m going to work on this, I’m going to look at my thoughts, I’m going to start being open to possibility making more money. And then they go and visit their family who still has the same beliefs that they’ve had for the years. And what are you doing, you’re being bougie, or frivolous? Or whatever they might be saying to the person who’s trying to make these changes? Like how do you talk to your clients or give tools in order to kind of separate out what other people think, and what I’m choosing
Natasha Tekeste
this totally, I was just coaching someone on this. So this individual was stressed out because she was wanting to work on her money mindset. But her partner wasn’t working on his money mindset. And she’s like, well, he’s holding me back, if he’s not working on his money mindset. And I think it’s just about you, right? Like, it’s like, let the other people have their own mindset and their own beliefs. And that’s totally fine. They are allowed to show up in the world, how they want to show up, they’re allowed to believe whatever they want to believe, like, they are autonomous, independent adults are humans, we can just like give them space to be who they are. We don’t have to all of a sudden, like mind control. Brains. And I think it just like, stick it back to you and be like, Why is it a problem for me? If my family has scarcity beliefs, like they’re allowed to? It’s okay. And you know, what, if I change and work on my own mindset, maybe they will see me and that will create shifts and like, growth for them through me being an example of what actually might be possible.
Michelle Bourque
Oh, that’s such a great point. Yes, being an example, on the opposite end of the spectrum of what has been learned. Yeah, totally
Natasha Tekeste
right. Like, none of us actually learn or, you know, fare very well, when someone is like getting mad at us and trying to force us to believe something else, and trying to like, get us to look at things a different way. Like that just relates, if that just makes us all shut down, just not engaged in that kind of conversation. So if we’re willing to just be like, yeah, that’s okay, you’re allowed to, I’m gonna be over here, like doing what it is that I want to do, which is working on my thoughts about money, and shifting how I like show up in relationship to my money. And maybe they will see how amazing and incredible and freeing it actually is to liberate yourself from some of that shame and judgment. And maybe they will want to like, come and ask you some questions and like, learn about and I’ve had that same experience, where I’ve just like, let people in my life, you know, have their own relationship with money. And when they were ready, they came and asked me questions, and they came and talk to me about it. And of course, I’m, like, so willing, and so like, wanting to help my loved ones, like show up with their money in different ways, but it has to be on their own terms. And I can only ever control things on my own terms for my own life. So it’s like getting clear on who’s responsible for what.
Michelle Bourque
Yeah, and that’s great. Because you mentioned earlier about someone saying, like, I can’t do that, because of them. That’s not the case, right? Like we are all responsible for our own, which is great news. That’s where we have hold our most power.
Natasha Tekeste
It’s actually the best news to just like, be responsible and accountable for yourself and let other people be responsible and accountable for themselves.
Michelle Bourque
And I chuckled, because I think of some of the sayings, you know, like money doesn’t grow on trees. And I’m like, it actually does, right. And also, money is the root of all evil, but I think money just makes you more of who you already are. What do you think?
Natasha Tekeste
Yeah, I agree with that. I don’t actually like the saying money is the root of all evil. I think sometimes these like negative perspectives and opinions about money, just like come from people who have money, who want to just be like, don’t get any money. It’s not very good. Like, stay poor. I promise. It’s better, much better. Like, let me just check on that. Right, exactly. It’s like how would I earn more and we’ll, we’ll see how I feel once I get to that stage. But I really just think that like evil is the root of all evil, like money is just a tool again, that we can use to show up in our lives and buy things or experiences or save or whatever, but it’s like inherently neutral. We how could we call it good or evil? Like you said, it just allows you to show up in the world maybe as more of who you already are.
Michelle Bourque
That’s so important. We’ve talked about a number of different aspects today, have we missed anything that you think is important that you see in your clients or you think would be helpful?
Natasha Tekeste
Oh, no, I think we’ve yet we’ve totally gone through so many different avenues and notions about money. But I think that there is so many different, different ways that money shows up in our lives. And that’s why have these conversations often ended up being so having so much like breadth and depth to them, because money isn’t just literally the dollars and cents in our bank account, or the numbers on a piece of paper. It is it impacts and affects all of our different areas of our lives, shows up in so many different ways. And ultimately, I always think of money mindset coaching as like helping you like improve or show up or get to know, the relationship that you’re having with yourself. Like the relationship that you have with money usually mirrors your relationship with yourself. And so this is just one avenue that we can explore, to get curious about and start to understand like, how are you in that relationship? Is there ways that you can show up with more love and kindness and compassion?
Michelle Bourque
That’s so good. Yes, the kindness, the compassion, and I would imagine also building self confidence, asking for promotions. Like it’s just so much more than the actual dollars and cents. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that’s so good. How can people find
Natasha Tekeste
you? Yeah, totally. So if you want to find me, you can connect with me on Instagram. So my handle is just my first and last name, which is the Tasha and a T A S H A. And my last name, te kes te. Or you can find me on my website, which is Natasha kesti.com.
Michelle Bourque
Awesome. I’ll be sure to also stick that in the notes as well. Awesome. Thank you so much. Alright, thanks so much for being here. I think this was super helpful. And I think we all should be talking about money much more.
Natasha Tekeste
I agree. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. This was awesome.
Michelle Bourque
Thank you. So many gems in that discussion. I encourage you to think about how you think about money. It really is everything. We need more women having conversations and being examples of what is possible for other young women. It’s okay to take up space. It’s okay to make money. In fact, it’s more than okay. I loved what she said. Evil is the root of all evil. And I know if you are listening here, you are looking to make changes for good in your world. We need more money in the hands of good folks like you. Now don’t forget to check Natasha out at Natasha Tikka stay, I will put it in the notes and I would love to keep this conversation going on the socials. So Michelle Burke coaching and of course you can always get on my email for more free content and to connect directly. Michelle Burke coaching.com forward slash Connect. Okay, friends, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week but for now, make it a great day take care
Michelle Bourque