Ep 184 Being The Boss

Episode Notes:

Today I want to talk to you about being the boss – of your brain.  So many folks go around life living in default mode.  If you want to make true, lasting changes, you need to be intentional with the way you think, think on purpose and create the life you imagine.  Listen today as I reflect back on the last fiscal year, share the challenges faced, lessons learned and opportunities for growth.

In This Episode:

• Fiscal year end of a challenging year
• How to be the boss of your brain
• How to re-wire your brain to find your wins
• The importance of celebrating wins for high performers 
• Jerry and Ester Hicks – the importance of Pivot
• Gaining clarity
• The importance of reframing the story of discomfort 

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Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the richer time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque and today’s episode I’m discussing being the boss. Welcome to the richer time Podcast, the podcast. We’re busy professionals like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule so you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place. Hello, hello. Hello. Welcome back to the podcast friends happy Cinco de Maya. I’ll tell you any reason to have some nachos. Sign me up. Actually, to be honest, who am I kidding? I really need no reason. I love them and fat, crazy side story. When Mark and I first started dating, he insists that I almost took his hand off because he tried to take some nachos from my plate. I thought he was exaggerating. But my dear friend Marybeth. Let me know that no, he is totally correct. It did appear to be that I was going to take his hand off. So beware, if I’m at the table with you, and we’re sharing nachos, I just love them. Okay, so I want to give you a quick update because last week, I mentioned how we were closing out our fiscal year. And sidenote, if you missed last week’s episode, go check it out, I talked about the most important strategy that you need for any goal. So the update is that we made quarter over plan. And we took the time to celebrate. And I want to come back to the idea of celebrating. But first, I want to just give you a little bit of background information. And throughout the podcast, I want to talk about how you have to be the boss of your brain. Now, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a bit of a challenging year, my entire team left and for the past 10 months, we have mostly been rebuilding, hiring and training and all of that fun. So to be able to close out the quarter over plan, I must say was nice in the year was quite a learning experience. And I want you to start considering how you reframe your story of discomfort or challenges. Because discomfort is where we have the most growth challenges provide us the opportunity to find new solutions. And both allow us the opportunity to take our lives to the next level. And it’s important to take the time to think about what that growth or that learning looks like for you in each situation. Now, you have to be the boss of what you are thinking. Because if you’re living on default, and you’re always acting as if you are the victim of the circumstances, you will have minimal opportunities to change your life. And what I mean is, in an instant like this, for example, the past year where everybody quit, we were hiring, rebuilding, it’s very easy for the brain to be wasting energy fighting with the reality of what is saying things like, this isn’t fair, the competition has more people, the company should be doing something different. I shouldn’t have to do this all alone. Like pay attention to what it is that you’re saying. Because all of that thinking can be super draining number one, and it can make you feel very overwhelmed and not have you taking action that allows you to do the things you need to do in order to get the job done. And you need to be the boss of what you tell yourself daily. So if you are in it, I want you to consider taking some time each morning and just journaling. It does not have to be that you go get a fancy journal and a pen with ink and feathers. Right like literally take a piece of paper on your desk. I don’t even care if you use the back of the paper of a piece that you’re ready to throw out. Right? What is going on in your brain so that you can look at it just put it all on paper and decide if what you’re thinking is actually useful because when you catch yourself thinking how terrible everything is, that is your indication to stop. Take a break become aware of what you are saying and decide if that path of thinking is really helping you. And I will tell you, I get it. Sometimes it can be a challenge just to get out of your own way, because it does feel so overwhelming. And that, my friends, is why we all need someone. And I might insert coach in this statement because a coach allows us to see possibilities that we are not able to see in our current situation, someone to question our thinking, and then similar to how you would tell a toddler to stop doing something and then redirect them, you do that with your brain, you decide on purpose, what it is that you want to start believing and thinking. Now, as far as learning from this past year, I also want to share a few things with you here. And I would say the top three things that I have taken away from this lovely opportunity of growth is number one, I’m going to reiterate Yes, shameless plug perhaps, but get a coach, if you are struggling, and think the only answer right now is to leave. Be sure you know what you are doing. It might be and it might not be, it might be the answer might not be the answer. I had three coaches helping me through the past year, and I tell you coaches see what you don’t and can really help you find potential new solutions, new ideas. And I will also tell you, I may or may not have thought once or twice, or many times over the past few months, that the answer was to leave corporate do full time coaching and if need be empty the 401k. But remember, you take your brain with you wherever you go. And if you’re looking to leave your current job, you want to be sure that you like your reasons. Sometimes we think escaping is the answer. And the honest truth is, the grass is not always greener. What is that saying? The grass is greener where you water it. And, again, let me know if you need help with this. I would love to help you figure it out because I get it and I want you to be sure you are tending to your brain in order to make the best decisions for yourself. Number two, prioritize, you must decide what is most important, which is not the same as urgent. Hear me when I tell you that because a lot of times, our brain wants to do what is urgent and knowing the difference. And this is everything when you want to decrease your stress and overwhelm. So often our brain wants to take care of urgent. But again, you have to be the boss of your brain and decide on purpose, what needs to be done in order to move the needle. And even before that, you must prioritize yourself and your health. self care is not selfish. And if you want to continue, you must take care of yourself. And what that looks like self care is up to you. What do you need today to take care of yourself. It doesn’t always mean bubble baths and candles, it might mean getting in a really good workout to help you metabolize the BS as my girl Robin from peloton says. And the third lesson I would say that I learned is keep going. Remember, life is 5050 it is not always rainbows, daisies and butterflies. And once you get through the tough times, that’s when you get to what you want most. And it’s from the tough times that you learn the most and have the greatest opportunities for growth. I mean, think about it. What best selling movie is about everything always being lovely. No, there’s always some angst, right? There’s something that the star has to overcome. That’s life. And a lot of times as you go through it, you also get more clear on the priorities of what you want most in life. And here’s what I mean. When we are in tough times frustrating times, it gives you the chance to see what is on the other end of that. And Esther and Jerry Hicks talk about this in their book, The Law of Attraction. And Esther and Jerry Hicks talks about this and I might butcher it a little bit but basically think about picking up a stick. There are two sides to it. And you don’t just pick up one side, you pick up both. So when you find something you don’t like, consider that one side of the stick. From there, you pivot and ask yourself, what is it? You do want? What is on the other end of that stick? And then ask yourself, why do you want it? An example that they use in the book money, and the law of attraction is a dad who was frustrated, because he would walk into his son’s bedroom, and he could tell that the son had wet his bed. And I want you to just think about an example of this for yourself. And that moment, you stop and acknowledge what you don’t want, pivot. And ask yourself, what you do want, and why. So for this dad, the pivot, what he really wanted, was for his son to be happy and dry and proud of himself. What is the pivot for you and your example, when you can figure out that more often, you find more harmony and peace in life. Think about this example. Right dad is walking in super frustrated, the little boy is wetting the bed. But if he can pivot and think about what it is that he does want, he wants his son to feel proud about himself, that allows dad to show up differently, and have more peace and harmony, you get more clear on what desires you truly have. When you kind of play around with this idea. Again, you are the boss, of being able to put yourself in the energy that is useful for you, isn’t it Oprah? Who has that, quote, be responsible for the energy that you bring to this room? 100% How great is that? To know we are in charge of it, not anyone else, do not give them the credit, you are responsible for bringing the energy to achieve your goals. And speaking of achieving the goals, back to the celebrating. This is such an important concept because high performers celebrate their goals. And I’ve talked about this on previous podcast, one tip you can try each day is to just take a moment and write down three wins for the day. And they can be big or small. Just show your brain that you are winning. And when you have a specific goal like hitting your number, for example, I want you to consider being specific with what that celebration is. So for example, we said last day of the quarter, when we hit that number, we’re going to hang out someplace for a bit on the water and have a little gathering. So get clear on what that celebration will be for a specific goal. And it just makes it that more powerful because remember, our brains are designed to always be looking for the negative. That is default thinking that my friends is a lot of how society goes through life. But not us not those of you listening here. So you have to be the boss of that and intentionally look and plan for celebrations. And I’ve talked about this before as well. It’s brain science what you believe to be is what you will find so as you give yourself credit and celebrate you will magnetize and find more areas of celebration and think about the momentum that you get living in that energy. That is where the magic is. Okay, remember if you want help with any of this reach out to me contact at Michelle Burt coaching.com Or you can just go directly to my calendar – www.michellebourquecoaching.com/Connect. We can hop on a free call and discuss more about what you are looking to accomplish. Okay, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week but for now, make it a great day. Take care Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin

 

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