Ep 168 Purposeful Gains

In today’s episode I’m talking about the importance of living in the Gain vs the Gap. We need to decide what our purpose is and how we tell the story in a way that keeps us in the gain in order to build more abundance in our lives. Giving yourself grace and knowing how far you’ve come allows you to see what else is possible.

In Today’s Episode:

• Benjamin Hardy PHD
• The Gap vs The Gain
• Deciding your purpose
• The importance of “I am” statements
• Knowing your core values
• Choosing your passions
• Where you started vs ideal

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Episode Transcript:

Hello, hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends what is going on in your world? I will tell you, you know, I like to keep it real. And I have been working on mind management quite a bit lately. And I don’t think it’s just me. It’s been a lot right over the last two years. And here we are, again, with rising numbers. For me cases are being canceled. Workers not being able to do their jobs. And there is a ripple effect. And it’s not the ripple effect that I’m always wanting to promote here on the podcast, right. And with my coaching. And a lot of it, we have zero control over. And yet, the thing we can control, the most important thing is how we respond. And I want to share something that came up for me recently, I’m reading the book, the gap and the gain. It’s so good, I really enjoyed most of Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s work. And this book, he actually does in combination with Dan Sullivan, who I’ve talked about here before as well. And what they’re talking about in the book is how so many of us most times live in the gap, meaning we live in the space where we compare ourselves to our ideal, and we don’t spend enough time living in the game. And that is the space of looking at all we have accomplished looking at from where we started to where we are now. And what I realized was sometimes I can get so in my head. Spoiler alert, I’m sure you can all relate. But when I was thinking this week about our numbers, and this quarter specifically, it’s going to be questionable, because we have had so many cases that are yet to be scheduled. Due to things that are out of our control. Like I said, elective surgeries being dependent on COVID workers being out and my brain loves to feed me all of the here’s how you’re doing it wrong stories. This is the work friends, you cannot believe all of those stories at face value. What is true, is what you decided to be true. And what else could be a possible story? How can you reframe the story? Because I want you to think about what it is for you. Where are you living in the gap? And where can you purposefully live in the game. And in the gap, you’re not giving yourself credit for what you have accomplished? In this example, it took some time to question all of it. Which by the way, I always suggest we question everything here. Right? Especially if we’re thinking thoughts that are not useful, especially if we’re thinking thoughts that we are not getting the results we are so desiring, because I know for me when I live in the gap, when I tell myself how I’m clearly doing something wrong, oftentimes many things wrong. I feel terrible. And last time I checked, no quote unquote negative emotion produces positive actions and results. So first step is to get curious. What else can be true here for me. And the other part of the story is to really look at all the angles, right? A lot of times, our thoughts are bound tightly, almost like a ball of yarn. There’s so many different strings and layers to it. And I’m going to keep with this first example for you. So if I’m looking at the story of I might not hit my number this quarter. What is also true is that I have built more in the last three years versus years prior in fact, and our first year of COVID I think I had the top billing quarter ever revenue generating. And yet, my brain wants to tell me how I didn’t make the full year number last year, right due to the shutdowns due to COVID. It’s just so messed up. And yet, it’s a perfect example of why we all need to keep doing this work, the work of managing our minds, the work of telling our story on purpose in a way that generates feelings that will drive us to take action, to be able to get the results that we want. And I talked about this over the weekend when we had our class on finding your purpose. And before I go there, I just want to say thank you so much. For those that came live. It’s so much fun, and I love seeing folks are checking out the replays. And if you want to know more about the February class, you should get on the email list. Michelle Bourque coaching comm just go to start here, you’ll get on the list, and then you’ll have all the info as it rolls out so much fun. But back to the class, we talked about how you don’t find your purpose. It’s not like the piano of purpose, just automatically, all of a sudden falls from the sky. And voila, you have your purpose. No, you have to decide. And your purpose might change as your life changes. Because as we do this thing called thought work, mind management, mindfulness, whatever you want to call it, we become different people along the way, which, in my opinion, is the beauty of all of it, right? I am not the same person. I was this time last year. And I’ve worked with women who started with a purpose focused around their career, for example, and then they have kids, and their purpose changes. And that’s Oh, Kay. Ask yourself, What are your passions? What brings you joy, because purpose is defined as intention. It’s the intention by which you live your life, it’s how you spend your time. So first, what brings you joy. And then I want you to consider your I Am statements, what you tell yourself, after I m are some of the most important words you will ever say. And if you want some ideas on what those words could be, just send me an email and say that you want a copy of the replay. And I can get that off to you. We went into it more in depth on the call. We also talked about the importance of incorporating your values into your purpose. So I went through a core values exercise, and this alone is so useful even in your day to day activities, using your core values to filter every decision you make in your life. Does the action align with your core values? If not, it’s a no, here’s the thing. So often, we think our purpose is out there. It’s not. It’s all within us. Everything that we will ever need or want or have is all ready within us. And when we get that, everything else opens up for us, we just need to start listening to that voice. And when you can align your passions with your I Am statements and your core values. You have purpose. And when you can do that, living in the gains of your life. Oh, my goodness, how things will explode for you. And I’ll take a minute here to share my purpose. But wait, before I do that, I want to remind you have the most foundational tool that I talked about here, the think feel act cycle, some call it think feel do. I’ve referred to it as the thought model which my mentor Brooke Castillo developed and when I say developed, it’s really just a way that she organized universal law think feel do is just the way the world works. But when we put purpose in the circumstance line, and we have a thought, I need to find my purpose or I’m not sure what my purpose is. We usually feel something like uncertain, maybe confused, perhaps doubt and then what goes in the action line. Usually something more like inaction because we are confused. And the result line becomes you’re always looking for your purpose. But when you can take your passions and joy answers with your I Am statements and your core values and put that sentence in the thought line of the model. It freak In changes everything friend, you feel something more like determined, or maybe committed. And then you take actions from that space. And the result is way different. And again, take those results and look at them in the space of your gains, not the gap. And I will be doing another podcast in the future when I finished the complete book. So I can share more information with you about this topic. But for today, I just want to close by telling you my purpose statement. I think it’s fun. And I think I’ve talked about it here before on a couple of occasions, and it may have been tweaked a little bit here and there. But I am an energetic person that loves learning and evolving in order to make a ripple effect in the world. We’re more women know their power, and are able to do more of what they want. In a fun way. Of course, isn’t that what this is about? So what is it for you, I would love to hear your purpose statement. And again, I encourage you to check out the replay so you can get the full exercises, and learn more about where we get finding our purpose, all wrong. You can either send me an email, like I mentioned, you can like Michelle Burke coaching on Facebook, and get the replay there, or I’m just venturing out into the world of YouTube. So we do have a YouTube channel there. And I have it posted as well. Michelle Bourque coaching, I would love for you to tell me what you come up with. And you can either simply DM me, or you can send an email contact at Michelle Burt coaching. It’s just so much fun to have the interactions with you. Okay, friends, this is an important topic, when we are going through good times, bad times, the in between times, it’s important to know what grounds us what is most important. We need to bring ourselves back to that which is most important to us. And when all of the external stuff seems a bit out of control. We always, always, always, always can control how we choose to react. We control what we make it all mean and that my friend is where we truly hold our power. Do not forget that you already have it. You just have to remind yourself of it. And if you forget that’s what I’m here for right over here cheering you on. Okay, that’s what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week but for now stay safe and make it a great day. Take care