Ep 142 Road Trips and Coaching

Episode Notes:

I invite you to come along for the ride as I talk today about some recent road trips and intertwine coaching tools and concepts to make for a fun adventure.  

In this episode:

• The importance of communication
• Anxiety
• Rules
• Being a control enthusiast vs control freak
• Contact me – contact@michellebourquecoaching.com

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Episode Transcript

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back to the podcast friends 

It’s nice to be back – we were away for just a couple of days

It rained a lot 

Elsa came to join us .. such fun lol.

We made the best of it 

We always do 

Team M and M

But 

The drive there is not always the most fun

For Marc lol.

And as we were making our way east I thought

Driving can really be an opportunity to learn a lot about people

And a lot of coaching tools 

Or concepts 

Can come in pretty handy.

So today 

I thought I would share with you 

Some of the road stories 

Which will likely have you cracking up 

And intertwine some tools that might be helpful

Lets have a little fun today shall we?

Ok – so first off – as I was thinking about this podcast 

I recalled a different road trip with some friends 

Even before I met Marc 

I was not driving 

And I was told to look for 

I think it was 270

And all of a sudden 

We arrive to the toll booths 

And everyone is looking at me 

I was completely confused 

But apparently I was supposed to be looking for 

2.70 for the toll

I was looking for the next road 

Which I thought was I270

I’m not even sure if there is such a thing lol.

But here is what this can teach us 

The importance of communication 

How many times do we think others should just know what we want 

And then we get really annoyed 

When they don’t do it 

But my friend 

We have to ask for what we want 

People are not mind readers 

I have learned this 

And continue to learn it 

Sometimes the hard way 

A lot of you 

Are too busy taking care of everyone else around you

That you don’t bother to ask for what you want or need

And then live in this state of 

Kinda victim-is mentality right?

I’ve been there 

I get it 

Sometimes its uncomfortable to have the courageous conversation

And say what we want to say 

But just think about it 

Its usually not super comfortable when we don’t either right?

It’s funny because a lot of times 

Patients will ask if I have some sort of clinical background

I’m like nope 

I have my masters in communication 

To which I usually get that head tilt confused look

And I simply remind them 

We are communicating right? Lol

Communication in the workplace 

Follow up 

All of that 

So important 

And remember 

Communication has a few steps involved

So you want to be sure you are clear 

There is what you say 

There is what is heard 

There is what the other person makes it mean

And then how they react 

I always like to ask if I’m making sense 

Just so we can ensure 

We are all on the same page 

And this is not even getting into all the non verbals 

Entirely other story 

Ok 

So now lets get back to the most recent trip Marc and I just took

First off 

I drive 

I have mentioned once or twice I might be a bit of a control enthusiast 

I prefer that label of control freak

Feel free to take it as well…

And I think maybe in a past life someone left me somewhere 

Because I always want to drive 

Plus 

We all know the rule right?

Driver gets music choice 

So Pink radio beats out Pearl Jam and we are on our way ..lol.

But on a serious note 

The controlling 

Pay attention to if it serves you 

A lot of times 

We think people should do things the way we want them to 

And that doesn’t always mean its the best way 

We talk about stress here and I assure you 

When you are able to show up in your life 

With a little more acceptance 

And a little more letting go 

You will see the benefits of less stress 

We can’t control the world 

We can’t control others 

And let me tell you

I promise you here and now 

If I ever figure that out 

I will do an entire podcast series for you 

But 

We can control our responses to all of it

And that is the best news ever 

So when you find yourself all worked about about 

How someone didn’t do what you wanted 

or something didn’t go the exact way you wanted it to 

Ask yourself how is this happening FOR me 

Instead of 

Why is this happening TO me 

Such a more powerful place to come from 

Ok 

So now we are driving along 

And I am telling you 

There are not enough of those 

Well – I think folks still call them 

Holy shit handles 

Yeah – not enough in the car for Marc 

I can see him out of my peripheral vision 

And I’m not sure if he’s trying to use his imaginary break over there 

Or jump out of the seat

And I am just dying laughing in my head 

As I’m singing Poker face with my gal Gaga 

So this brings me to anxiety 

Anxiety is something a lot of us live with 

And all at varying levels 

But I want to point out 

In this example 

It is not my driving that causes the anxiety 

It’s his thinking 

I think some thoughts might have been 

I was close to rubbing up against the wheels of the tractor trailer

Which 

If I’m being fully transparent 

I have been hit by a tractor trailer on the highway before 

I’ll come back to that 

Lol

He also thought I was driving too fast 

He doesn’t like when I try to help people understand the rules 

You know 

Like the one that says you pass on the left 

yes.. 

I am that person that will sometimes speed up a little to make sure 

You don’t pass me on the right 

And for the longest time I used to say I wasn’t completive 

Maybe a little 

But for the record

If you are the crazy person weaving in and out and I see you coming 

You are playing a different game 

Different rules 

You can have it

So 

Those are just some of the things that he might have thought

Caused him the anxiety 

But the truth is is not my driving that causes the anxiety

Because it if was the driving 

Everyone would be anxious with my driving

And I mean there might be a lot of folks who don’t like my driving lol

But not everyone 

And here is the other thing I want to say about anxiety

And driving 

I like to think anxiety can come along for the ride each day

A lot of people that have some anxiety 

And when I talk about this

I’m not talking medication needing anxiety 

There is a place for sure for that 

I’m talking the anxiety a lot of us live with in this world

Instead of thinking something is wrong with it

And resisting it

You can also consider it to be along for the ride 

We know it’s going to be with us for the day 

But it doesn’t get to drive the day 

It doesn’t even get to decide the music right?

It’s just there 

And knowing it’s not something you have to keep pushing down

Allows you an extra layer for freedom from it 

Another way to think about it is

Like a beach ball

We can try to push it down under water 

And keep it down 

Keep pushing 

But eventually 

It pops up 

And usually with a bit more vigor 

Then if we just let the beach ball

Kinda hang out next to us 

Just floating on the water 

See the difference?

It can really make a difference in how you approach the day 

And if any of you are a bit of an empath

Like you can feel other peoples energy 

Its important to check in on what is yours 

And what is there’s 

You don’t have to take on the other persons energy 

We are all responsible for the energy we bring to any situation 

And knowing the difference 

Can be helpful 

Oh – and 

Side note 

Since Marc was so nice to tell me the signs said 

65 mph 

Or its 55 mph here 

Along the way 

I had to clarify with him

That once we got off the exit and it had the tractor trailer on two wheels

Did that mean we were supposed to be on two wheels? Lol

I love to mess with him

And 

Speaking of the tractor trailer 

I’ll let this be the last story 

I mean 

I have a lot 

Driving nearly 3000 or more miles a month 

For many years.. 

Thats a lot of driving 

lol..

And that’s why I think I’m so good at it 

Anyhow 

The tractor trailer that hit me 

It was in NJ 

I was on my way to training for the job I had before this

And the day before I got lost and was a little late

I used to get lost a lot 

Like 

Even in a parking garage 

So ..they were pretty strict in training 

And said you can not be late the next day 

The tractor trailer hit my quarter panel and side mirror 

Changing lanes 

And we both just kept driving 

I’m not sure the driver realized what happened 

And I knew I couldn’t be late 

Focus people 

Focus ..lol..

Or maybe that’s more of my 

Not wanting to disappoint anyone lol…

Either way it’s crazy now thinking about it 

And as I close do you know what might be the craziest of all of this?

I choose my college based on not having to drive on a highway 

I used to be so afraid to drive 

I know, I know it’s nuts

But that just shows you 

You don’t look to your past for evidence of what you can do in the future 

We look forward most of the time while driving right?

We sometimes look in the rearview mirror

But that is only to kinda check in 

Not determine the path 

The past does not determine what we are capable of doing 

Or where we are capable of getting to 

Remember that 

You get to choose the destination always 

Let’s make sure its a good one right?

Ok friends 

Thanks for being here today 

I want to let you know I just opened 2 spots

For my one on one coaching program

I would love to help you 

Be able to do more of what you want 

Excel in your career 

But without the stress and overhwhelm 

So let me know you are ready 

You can just reach out on the socials – mostly IG and FB – @michellebourquecoachign  to let me know you are interested

Or email contact@michellebourquecoaching.com 

We can hop on a quick call to answer questions 

And if it’s a good fit we get started

Ok friends 

That’s what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay safe 

And 

Make it a great day –

Take care!