Ep 142 Road Trips and Coaching
Episode Notes:
I invite you to come along for the ride as I talk today about some recent road trips and intertwine coaching tools and concepts to make for a fun adventure.
In this episode:
- The importance of communication
- Anxiety
- Rules
- Being a control enthusiast vs control freak
- Contact me – contact@michellebourquecoaching.com
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Episode Transcript
Hello hello hello
Welcome back to the podcast friends
It’s nice to be back – we were away for just a couple of days
It rained a lot
Elsa came to join us .. such fun lol.
We made the best of it
We always do
Team M and M
But
The drive there is not always the most fun
For Marc lol.
And as we were making our way east I thought
Driving can really be an opportunity to learn a lot about people
And a lot of coaching tools
Or concepts
Can come in pretty handy.
So today
I thought I would share with you
Some of the road stories
Which will likely have you cracking up
And intertwine some tools that might be helpful
Lets have a little fun today shall we?
Ok – so first off – as I was thinking about this podcast
I recalled a different road trip with some friends
Even before I met Marc
I was not driving
And I was told to look for
I think it was 270
And all of a sudden
We arrive to the toll booths
And everyone is looking at me
I was completely confused
But apparently I was supposed to be looking for
2.70 for the toll
I was looking for the next road
Which I thought was I270
I’m not even sure if there is such a thing lol.
But here is what this can teach us
The importance of communication
How many times do we think others should just know what we want
And then we get really annoyed
When they don’t do it
But my friend
We have to ask for what we want
People are not mind readers
I have learned this
And continue to learn it
Sometimes the hard way
A lot of you
Are too busy taking care of everyone else around you
That you don’t bother to ask for what you want or need
And then live in this state of
Kinda victim-is mentality right?
I’ve been there
I get it
Sometimes its uncomfortable to have the courageous conversation
And say what we want to say
But just think about it
Its usually not super comfortable when we don’t either right?
It’s funny because a lot of times
Patients will ask if I have some sort of clinical background
I’m like nope
I have my masters in communication
To which I usually get that head tilt confused look
And I simply remind them
We are communicating right? Lol
Communication in the workplace
Follow up
All of that
So important
And remember
Communication has a few steps involved
So you want to be sure you are clear
There is what you say
There is what is heard
There is what the other person makes it mean
And then how they react
I always like to ask if I’m making sense
Just so we can ensure
We are all on the same page
And this is not even getting into all the non verbals
Entirely other story
Ok
So now lets get back to the most recent trip Marc and I just took
First off
I drive
I have mentioned once or twice I might be a bit of a control enthusiast
I prefer that label of control freak
Feel free to take it as well…
And I think maybe in a past life someone left me somewhere
Because I always want to drive
Plus
We all know the rule right?
Driver gets music choice
So Pink radio beats out Pearl Jam and we are on our way ..lol.
But on a serious note
The controlling
Pay attention to if it serves you
A lot of times
We think people should do things the way we want them to
And that doesn’t always mean its the best way
We talk about stress here and I assure you
When you are able to show up in your life
With a little more acceptance
And a little more letting go
You will see the benefits of less stress
We can’t control the world
We can’t control others
And let me tell you
I promise you here and now
If I ever figure that out
I will do an entire podcast series for you
But
We can control our responses to all of it
And that is the best news ever
So when you find yourself all worked about about
How someone didn’t do what you wanted
or something didn’t go the exact way you wanted it to
Ask yourself how is this happening FOR me
Instead of
Why is this happening TO me
Such a more powerful place to come from
Ok
So now we are driving along
And I am telling you
There are not enough of those
Well – I think folks still call them
Holy shit handles
Yeah – not enough in the car for Marc
I can see him out of my peripheral vision
And I’m not sure if he’s trying to use his imaginary break over there
Or jump out of the seat
And I am just dying laughing in my head
As I’m singing Poker face with my gal Gaga
So this brings me to anxiety
Anxiety is something a lot of us live with
And all at varying levels
But I want to point out
In this example
It is not my driving that causes the anxiety
It’s his thinking
I think some thoughts might have been
I was close to rubbing up against the wheels of the tractor trailer
Which
If I’m being fully transparent
I have been hit by a tractor trailer on the highway before
I’ll come back to that
Lol
He also thought I was driving too fast
He doesn’t like when I try to help people understand the rules
You know
Like the one that says you pass on the left
yes..
I am that person that will sometimes speed up a little to make sure
You don’t pass me on the right
And for the longest time I used to say I wasn’t completive
Maybe a little
But for the record
If you are the crazy person weaving in and out and I see you coming
You are playing a different game
Different rules
You can have it
So
Those are just some of the things that he might have thought
Caused him the anxiety
But the truth is is not my driving that causes the anxiety
Because it if was the driving
Everyone would be anxious with my driving
And I mean there might be a lot of folks who don’t like my driving lol
But not everyone
And here is the other thing I want to say about anxiety
And driving
I like to think anxiety can come along for the ride each day
A lot of people that have some anxiety
And when I talk about this
I’m not talking medication needing anxiety
There is a place for sure for that
I’m talking the anxiety a lot of us live with in this world
Instead of thinking something is wrong with it
And resisting it
You can also consider it to be along for the ride
We know it’s going to be with us for the day
But it doesn’t get to drive the day
It doesn’t even get to decide the music right?
It’s just there
And knowing it’s not something you have to keep pushing down
Allows you an extra layer for freedom from it
Another way to think about it is
Like a beach ball
We can try to push it down under water
And keep it down
Keep pushing
But eventually
It pops up
And usually with a bit more vigor
Then if we just let the beach ball
Kinda hang out next to us
Just floating on the water
See the difference?
It can really make a difference in how you approach the day
And if any of you are a bit of an empath
Like you can feel other peoples energy
Its important to check in on what is yours
And what is there’s
You don’t have to take on the other persons energy
We are all responsible for the energy we bring to any situation
And knowing the difference
Can be helpful
Oh – and
Side note
Since Marc was so nice to tell me the signs said
65 mph
Or its 55 mph here
Along the way
I had to clarify with him
That once we got off the exit and it had the tractor trailer on two wheels
Did that mean we were supposed to be on two wheels? Lol
I love to mess with him
And
Speaking of the tractor trailer
I’ll let this be the last story
I mean
I have a lot
Driving nearly 3000 or more miles a month
For many years..
Thats a lot of driving
lol..
And that’s why I think I’m so good at it
Anyhow
The tractor trailer that hit me
It was in NJ
I was on my way to training for the job I had before this
And the day before I got lost and was a little late
I used to get lost a lot
Like
Even in a parking garage
So ..they were pretty strict in training
And said you can not be late the next day
The tractor trailer hit my quarter panel and side mirror
Changing lanes
And we both just kept driving
I’m not sure the driver realized what happened
And I knew I couldn’t be late
Focus people
Focus ..lol..
Or maybe that’s more of my
Not wanting to disappoint anyone lol…
Either way it’s crazy now thinking about it
And as I close do you know what might be the craziest of all of this?
I choose my college based on not having to drive on a highway
I used to be so afraid to drive
I know, I know it’s nuts
But that just shows you
You don’t look to your past for evidence of what you can do in the future
We look forward most of the time while driving right?
We sometimes look in the rearview mirror
But that is only to kinda check in
Not determine the path
The past does not determine what we are capable of doing
Or where we are capable of getting to
Remember that
You get to choose the destination always
Let’s make sure its a good one right?
Ok friends
Thanks for being here today
I want to let you know I just opened 2 spots
For my one on one coaching program
I would love to help you
Be able to do more of what you want
Excel in your career
But without the stress and overhwhelm
So let me know you are ready
You can just reach out on the socials – mostly IG and FB – @michellebourquecoachign to let me know you are interested
Or email contact@michellebourquecoaching.com
We can hop on a quick call to answer questions
And if it’s a good fit we get started
Ok friends
That’s what I have for you today
Let’s circle back next week
But for now
Stay safe
And
Make it a great day –
Take care!