Ep 138 The Importance of Knowing Your Role

 In Podcast

Episode Notes:

Today I am sharing a piece of advice I was given early on in my career – “know your role”.  So often we try to help everyone, control everything, ensure nothing goes wrong – but often to the detriment of our own sanity.  Listen today as I talk more about this idea, why it’s important to start making changes and what you can do today to feel better.

In This Episode:

  • Trying to take care of everything 
  • Allowing people to do their job
  • Forgetting the help and remembering the miss
  • Steps to look at your reasons why 
  • Being perfect and a work in progress
  • Boundaries
  • Saying No
  • Having Fun
  • www.michellebourquecoaching,com/join 

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Episode Transcript:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back to the podcast friends

How are you today?

It’s nice to be back 

Do you all realize we have been doing this 

For 138 weeks

138 weeks

That’s crazy 


And I appreciate you coming back 

Week after week

As I am just leaning out loud a lot of the time 

And really that is my purpose here

To share tools

And ideas 

And concepts 

To help you 

Be able to continue to evolve and be the best version of yourself 

While at the same time 

Making sure you also know 

You are perfect as is

I know 

It seems a little odd 

But the truth is

We are totally perfect as is


We get to evolve and up level

Simply because we want to 


We can do it 

Without all the stress and overwhelm 

And you know I keep it real here 

I have to say 

My brain 

Still wants to tell me 

There is going to be a lot of stress and overwhelm 

As we enter the next couple of months

Because we are short head count 

I have to laugh

Because sometimes I wish 

I had like a buck 

For every time a manager tells me 

We just need to get through these next 6 months..lol..

Feels like 15 years of just getting through the next 6 months..lol..


It usually gets figured out … and so we roll on

But what I want to talk to you today is 

Knowing your role 

And I want to discuss it 

Because it was something I was told early on 

In fact, I would always hear Marc talk about it

When he was coaching football as well

Everyone needs to know there role 


Funny enough

I was listening to a doctor last week 

Talking to a medical student about 

Knowing your role 

And later in the week 

I was chatting with someone about 

Knowing their role 

Here’s the thing 

A lot of us love to help others 

A lot of us 

Want to do the right thing

Want to take care of everything 

Want to make everything right 

Want to be ahead of the game 

In order to mitigate any risk

Side note 

Our brains are already wired to look for the negative 

And so adding this skill 

Looking ahead to mitigate risk 


Its a super power and can cause us such anxiety 

But let me share the story I overheard 

The doctor was using the analogy of a soccer team 

With the med student 

In fact – I think what happened was the student went to help 

Someone else in the OR and that’s when the doctor said 

Whoa whoa whoa

And began talking about how 

When kids are on the soccer field 

You can’t have everyone running after the ball

Everyone has different roles 

And the goalie for example 

Can’t be running after the ball to score 

The goalie 

Needs to defend 

And even though the goalie might have the best of intentions 

Trying to help score 

When the other team turns it over 

And scores 

Because the goalie is not doing her or his role 

Well – nobody really remembers the fact the goalie was trying to help 

They remember the miss 

And I can see this in our role as well

Sometimes we want to help other parts of the process 

And that seems so helpful 

Until it’s not not 


When you think you need to take care of everything 

You will kill yourself 

You can’t possibly 

And I’m all about trying to look ahead 

And workin to mitigate risk 

But we also have to know 

When it’s our space 

And when it’s not 

We kind of do people a disservice 

When we try to control all of it 

I recall a few years ago 

I was trying to help a scrub tech 

With putting something together 

And she just looked at me 

And said 

Can I have a minute to at least fail at it?


Here is was trying to be helpful

And she wanted a minute to learn on her own 

Think about how this is for you

Now listen

I’m not saying you now decide to just kick back 

And not care 

I’m just suggesting 

Are their areas where you can lighten up a little 

Where you can trust 

that others can get their job

And it’s not your job

To take care of all of it

Having the added pressure to do all of it

Will bring you to the place 

Where you might want to be leaving 

Where you think you no longer have the passion 

To do the job 

What is really happening is 

You have lost passion 

Because you try to do ALL of the jobs

And you are exhausted 

So just give yourself some time 

Take a moment and look at 

Where you are saying yes 

When you mean no

Where you are not setting boundaries 

Where you are not communicating what you want 

Or what you don’t want 

Get curious why that is 

You have the option to have your own back

That’s really not anyone else’s role 

What does that look like for you?

What becomes available to you

And your team

When you start looking at that?

It’s so important 

To believe enough in yourself 

To know 

That you doing everything 

Doesn’t make you any more 


You are worthy as is 

What does it look like 

For you to just show up

Do you 

In a way that benefits not only everyone else 

But with yourself as well.

Then my friend 

It can get to be more fun

Ok – 

That’s what I have for you today 

And listen 

If you want help on this 


Saying no 

Having more fun 

I want you to check out my online course 

You can do it at your pace 


For the first 30 days we have coaching 

Via a super easy app 

So anything that might be coming up in “real life”

Well – we can work on it real time 

Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/join to get started

Ok friends THAT is actually 

What I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week 

Bur for now 

Stay safe and 

Make it a great day – take care!


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