Ep 138 The Importance of Knowing Your Role
Episode Notes:
Today I am sharing a piece of advice I was given early on in my career – “know your role”. So often we try to help everyone, control everything, ensure nothing goes wrong – but often to the detriment of our own sanity. Listen today as I talk more about this idea, why it’s important to start making changes and what you can do today to feel better.
In This Episode:
- Trying to take care of everything
- Allowing people to do their job
- Forgetting the help and remembering the miss
- Steps to look at your reasons why
- Being perfect and a work in progress
- Boundaries
- Saying No
- Having Fun
- www.michellebourquecoaching,com/join
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Episode Transcript:
Hello hello hello
Welcome back to the podcast friends
How are you today?
It’s nice to be back
Do you all realize we have been doing this
For 138 weeks
138 weeks
That’s crazy
Right?
And I appreciate you coming back
Week after week
As I am just leaning out loud a lot of the time
And really that is my purpose here
To share tools
And ideas
And concepts
To help you
Be able to continue to evolve and be the best version of yourself
While at the same time
Making sure you also know
You are perfect as is
I know
It seems a little odd
But the truth is
We are totally perfect as is
AND
We get to evolve and up level
Simply because we want to
AND
We can do it
Without all the stress and overwhelm
And you know I keep it real here
I have to say
My brain
Still wants to tell me
There is going to be a lot of stress and overwhelm
As we enter the next couple of months
Because we are short head count
I have to laugh
Because sometimes I wish
I had like a buck
For every time a manager tells me
We just need to get through these next 6 months..lol..
Feels like 15 years of just getting through the next 6 months..lol..
But
It usually gets figured out … and so we roll on
But what I want to talk to you today is
Knowing your role
And I want to discuss it
Because it was something I was told early on
In fact, I would always hear Marc talk about it
When he was coaching football as well
Everyone needs to know there role
AND
Funny enough
I was listening to a doctor last week
Talking to a medical student about
Knowing your role
And later in the week
I was chatting with someone about
Knowing their role
Here’s the thing
A lot of us love to help others
A lot of us
Want to do the right thing
Want to take care of everything
Want to make everything right
Want to be ahead of the game
In order to mitigate any risk
Side note
Our brains are already wired to look for the negative
And so adding this skill
Looking ahead to mitigate risk
Omg
Its a super power and can cause us such anxiety
But let me share the story I overheard
The doctor was using the analogy of a soccer team
With the med student
In fact – I think what happened was the student went to help
Someone else in the OR and that’s when the doctor said
Whoa whoa whoa
And began talking about how
When kids are on the soccer field
You can’t have everyone running after the ball
Everyone has different roles
And the goalie for example
Can’t be running after the ball to score
The goalie
Needs to defend
And even though the goalie might have the best of intentions
Trying to help score
When the other team turns it over
And scores
Because the goalie is not doing her or his role
Well – nobody really remembers the fact the goalie was trying to help
They remember the miss
And I can see this in our role as well
Sometimes we want to help other parts of the process
And that seems so helpful
Until it’s not not
AND
When you think you need to take care of everything
You will kill yourself
You can’t possibly
And I’m all about trying to look ahead
And workin to mitigate risk
But we also have to know
When it’s our space
And when it’s not
We kind of do people a disservice
When we try to control all of it
I recall a few years ago
I was trying to help a scrub tech
With putting something together
And she just looked at me
And said
Can I have a minute to at least fail at it?
lol..
Here is was trying to be helpful
And she wanted a minute to learn on her own
Think about how this is for you
Now listen
I’m not saying you now decide to just kick back
And not care
I’m just suggesting
Are their areas where you can lighten up a little
Where you can trust
that others can get their job
And it’s not your job
To take care of all of it
Having the added pressure to do all of it
Will bring you to the place
Where you might want to be leaving
Where you think you no longer have the passion
To do the job
What is really happening is
You have lost passion
Because you try to do ALL of the jobs
And you are exhausted
So just give yourself some time
Take a moment and look at
Where you are saying yes
When you mean no
Where you are not setting boundaries
Where you are not communicating what you want
Or what you don’t want
Get curious why that is
You have the option to have your own back
That’s really not anyone else’s role
What does that look like for you?
What becomes available to you
And your team
When you start looking at that?
It’s so important
To believe enough in yourself
To know
That you doing everything
Doesn’t make you any more
Worthy
You are worthy as is
What does it look like
For you to just show up
Do you
In a way that benefits not only everyone else
But with yourself as well.
Then my friend
It can get to be more fun
Ok –
That’s what I have for you today
And listen
If you want help on this
Boundaries
Saying no
Having more fun
I want you to check out my online course
You can do it at your pace
AND
For the first 30 days we have coaching
Via a super easy app
So anything that might be coming up in “real life”
Well – we can work on it real time
Go to michellebourquecoaching.com/join to get started
Ok friends THAT is actually
What I have for you today
Let’s circle back next week
Bur for now
Stay safe and
Make it a great day – take care!