Ep 137 Leaving Your Job

Episode Notes:

Think you had enough, and ready to leave your job?  I get it – join me today as I share a recent change in my team, my thoughts and some ideas that might help you if you are feeling so overwhelmed you want to leave.  

In this episode:

• My weekend girls gone wild trip
• Coaching with my nieces
• Loss of team member
• Past experiences of loss vs today
• Questioning everything
• When to leave
• Taking your brain with you

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Episode Transcript:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back to the podcast friends

Whats going on in your world?

Vacations? 

Summer weekend fun?

I hope you are enjoying 

Let me tell you

I have a lot going on over here 

And I’m going to tell you 

I have been put to the test this week

As far as mindset goes

And I want to share all of it

The good 

The bad 

The ugly

Because I know I’m not alone in some of my thinking 

And I want to kinda go through some steps

Or tools

That might help you 

If this resonates

But first 

I have to tell you 

About my weekend 

Because I think it also 

Shows how quickly our feelings can change 

And what can be done to help

Bring a little more balance to life

So 

This past weekend 

I had so much fun taking some of my nieces for a weekend away

The weekend before I did a shopping spree and lunch with another niece 

I have to tell you

I’m totally digging experiences over gifts these days

So 

I have the 8 year old and 12 year old with me 

Btw 

For the first time solo ever..lol…

I know – at my age I should be able to handle to kids by myself 

lol…

But to give you some background

The first one 

At like the age of 5 

I think she had me peeling her grapes because she told me her mom did 

Her mom was like …uhhh no 

Lol

I can be a sucker 

But this weekend 

We laughed so much 

I had them doing journal prompts 

For morning mindset and the evening as we settled down 

We did some yoga 

A little Cody Rigsby meditation 

Some future self meditations

Which 

They would never admit in public 

But they liked those 

And it was just so much fun

Even the part when 

I looked at the 12 year old 

Because there was this terrible smell

And I was like 

Is that 

I was going to say a skunk

And at the same time she said 

It’s weed aunt Michelle 

I was dying

I’m like really?

How do you know this?

Seriously 

I’m taking life lessons from the 12 year old

Thinking I’m imparting such coaching wisdom on her 

So many laughs 

And as I was driving home 

I thought 

I want to do more of that 

I’m going to find ways to work with my team 

So I can have more weekend time free from taking call

And then 

I got to work on Monday 

To receive a call that my colleague gave his 2 weeks

Which

Btw 

I totally appreciated he waited until after my trip 

Because the last one that left 

Called me on vacation and left the same day 

Yes

There was some coaching on that 

lol..

Apparently it was only “my thought”

And not a fact 

That was rude ..lol..

I tell you guys I do this work too right

So he’s leaving

Now I have told you 

We used to be a team of 4 

Then we went to 3 

Then 2 

And all along I do my mindset work

I get coaching 

I do self coaching 

And we keep going 

But now it’s me

And we have a new hire 

For the last one that left 

But she’s not quite ready to go solo

So 

I’m going to share with you 

Some of what my thoughts are 

And some ideas that might help you

If you are just so overwhelmed 

You want to leave 

I get it

First off 

It’s a great opportunity for the one who’s leaving next week

It’s all good 

Because you know 

Some people leave 

And burn bridges right?

So this is not that 

But

My mind is still human 

Just like you

and of course I first had thoughts like 

This is crazy 

I will never make my number without help

We have to train 2 people now 

I won’t be able to take vacation 

I won’t be able to do weekend trips 

This is going to take away from coaching 

Not again 

This isn’t fair 

I know right 

Our brains can be toddler like 

Throwing fits 

This is what we call emotional childhood

Victim mentality 

But here is the difference 

I can see it as all my thinking 

Not as truth 

Because the truth is 

I get to decide 

Just like you get to decide

How you react in each circumstance

And for years 

I just thought those types of thoughts

And thought they were the job

And notice 

How terrible it feels to think any 

And all 

Of them

It’s so defeating 

And I assure you 

If I’m in that mindset 

Feeling like crap

I will not hit my number 

I will not be able to help patients 

so

I took my day to be bummed 

And Marc just let me sulk 

And not try to answer any of it 

Because of course 

I didn’t ask him to ..lol..

Ladies you know right?

When we complain it doesn’t mean I want you to solve the problem 

I didn’t ask you for an answer 

I just want you to sit and listen…hahhahah

Listen after 15 years I’ve me being here

He knows 

For sure not our first rodeo on having people leave this territory 

He just says the safest …. Ummhmmm…

So 

What are the thoughts you have 

That have you feeling so overwhelmed?

Write them all out on paper 

I can not tell you how just this step alone can help 

Seriously 

Because I didn’t do the actual writing 

Until the next morning 

And once I got it all out on paper

That alone had me feeling so much better 

Because here is what happens 

We get into these thought loops 

We think all the worse case scenarios 

Over and over 

And start to believe all of it

When we get it on paper

We can see it 

Question it 

And then decide if we still want to think it 

And by question it 

I mean 

Is that really true?

So for example 

We will not make our number 

Is that true?

No 

I’ve had many years 

Where we have been short people 

And we make and even grow 

Our number 

Will I not be able to go on vacation?

Yet to be determined..lol.. 

I’m sure we can figure it out 

I could maybe change the dates 

But I won’t not be able to go

This isn’t fair 

What does that even mean?

lol..

Really 

You have to be onto your brain

Question all of it

And listen 

There are a couple of ways to look at this right?

Because for a long time I felt like many of you might feel

As if I was a victim to it all

I have to drive here

Get delayed here 

Wait around 

As if I didn’t have any control over it 

But then

I did all the mindset work with coaching 

And everything changed 

But I’m going to be honest 

A lot of it was changing the way I thought about it all

Which was 

And is 

Great 

But now I’m taking it ever deeper 

To see how I feel about it all

A lot of us 

Try to work harder 

To not pay attention to how we feel

But when you sit for some time 

To get clear on all of it 

You can decide 

Do you want to change your thinking 

Or 

Do you need to pay more attention to how you feel

Or 

What you are resisting feeling 

Here’s what I mean 

Sometimes the answer is setting boundaries 

But setting boundaries can be uncomfortable 

Telling people what you want

Or 

What you are not available for 

Can be super uncomfortable 

Because you might think 

You don’t want to disappoint 

And so you keep giving and giving and giving 

And you get so resentful

But here’s the interesting twist 

Feeling pissed off and resentful 

Can sometimes be easier 

Then feeling something like guilt 

For what you think 

might be 

Disappointing someone 

Am I right, 

Or am I right?

It’s just really great to get clear on

What is all your thinking about where you currently are 

Because the truth is

We all take our brains with us wherever we go

So if you want to leave one job

Because you think you have no control over your time 

You are doing yourself a disservice by leaving 

Before you clean that up 

Leave when you know 

You are in complete control

When you can leave 

Just because you want to 

Like ok 

I’ve done my stuff here 

It’s time to grow 

Vs 

I hate this job and I need to get out 

You are going to have such a different experience 

So

The thought I always end up going back to 

We will figure it out 

We always do 

And my guess is 

So do you 

So be sure to remind yourself of that 

That you always have your own back 

And of course 

I’m here for you 

If this resonates

Let me know 

Michellebourquecoaching on the socials 

And 

michellebourquecoaching.com/join

If you want to receive weekly info 

On these tools and concepts

To help you excel in your career 

But without the stress and overwhelm 

Ok friend

That’s what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay safe 

And 

Make it a great day 

Take care!