Ep 126 Coaching and the Lies Your Brain Tells You
Episode Notes:
Join me today as I talk about why it’s important to be willing to invest in yourself, and how your brain will tell you all the lies to keep you safe. Listen as I discuss a recent consult call, how you might not even know how your thinking is similar, and what to do in order to make the changes you most want in your life.
In This Episode:
- Consult calls
- Coaching vs Therapy
- Motivational triad of the brain
- The problem with being confused
- Living in the past vs creating your Futre
- Goals/time management/relationships/career
- Shelf help and passive action
- Act now
Work with me: www.michellebourquecoaching.com/guide
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS
Episode Transcript:
Hello hello hello
Welcome back to the podcast friends
It’s so nice to have you here
Ok
This might be a little tough love this week
The thing is
I am officially a year older
And don’t they say the older you get
The more you just say what you want?
lol..
Don’t worry –
I’m not quite to that Maxine character place yet
lol..
But I have some things I need to share with you
Because I recently had a consult call
And I think some of what came up
Might be in your brain
Whether you know it or not
And so I’m going to bring some awareness to it
Because
It’s for your best benefit
And that is why I do this podcast after all
I mean seriously
I can hear myself talk to myself all day in the car
This I put out to help you
And the reason I do private 1:1 coaching
And developed the online course
Is to find different ways to help you
Basically
Feel like you are in more control of your life
Your time
Your career
Your relationships
And to help you feel
Like you are not totally losing your mind
Being so overwhelmed
‘
With all of it
But the truth is
Listening to me
Is not going to do it on it’s own
Sure you can make some changes
But listening to a podcast
Or reading a book
That is what we call passive learning
Like you take it all in
And I think that is more than most people do
But as I recently heard one of my coaches say
It is shelf help
Meaning
It’s basically on the shelf when you just listen or read
You see the amazing changes
When you actually start doing the work
And the beauty is
When you actually implement the work
You are investing in yourself
Whether it be time
Or money
Or time and money
And a lot of you
Like so many folks
Aren’t used to investing in yourself
You do do do for others
And you don’t always trust
That you can make the changes
And this is what came up on the call
The client was asking me if I thought she could do it
I don’t think she can
Of course I know she can
As a coach I have so much belief in you
Listen
If I could make all the changes I did and change my life
You can
And you know how I was able to do it?
My coach believed in me
Enough
That I could borrow her belief
Until I had it in myself
So
When someone asks me if I think they can do it
That is not the best question
The question is
Do you think you can do it?
And if not
Why?
I get on these calls
And people tell me where they are currently in their life
And it feels terrible
And then we talk about what is possible
And you guys
There is soooo much possible
Things I don’t even yet see
So when we talk about what is possible for you
And even just take a minute to think that right now
If I could wave a magic wand
On what you think is currently a “problem”
How would your life change?
Give yourself some time to sit in that
How would you feel?
What would be different?
I promise you
It’s possible
But you know what happens
As soon as you start thinking the change is possible
Your brain will shut you down
Remember
The brain is designed to keep us safe
To avoid pain
To seek pleasure
And to be as efficient as possible
So
Its fascinating
Sometimes what happens is we start to go there
And then all the reasons you can’t do it comes up
Your partner wouldn’t want you to spend the money
You have debt to pay off
Maybe you should consider therapy
And guess where that puts you?
In this state of so called confusion
That is why
If we do a consult call for example
We agree to make a powerful decision at the end of the call
That might mean yes
I’m a hell yes I’m in
Or it means
No
Because I’m choosing to not do it right now
Not because of any of these other reasons
That I’m just not really ready
And that’s ok
But feeling like a victim to the other circumstances
Or going back and forth
Is so disempowering
Owning your decision is the first step to
Taking control of your life
Your time
Your schedule
Because how you do one thing
Is how you do everything
So notice how you might tell yourself you
Let’s say
Are victim to your colleagues
And the way they treat you
And just get curious
Is it because you are not holding boundaries
Maybe not even making boundaries
Are you people pleasing
It all comes up
Its
So
Fascinating
So make powerful decisions
And make them for the sake of your future self
Isn’t it interesting
We have no problem investing in trips
Cars
Credit card debt for whatever reason
But when it comes to investing in our brains
We are like ….
Well – that can wait.
No my friends
Your brain is your biggest asset
You get that working for you and you will make more money
Trust me
I am doing so much work on money mindset right now
I can’t wait to share it with you
Stay tuned
Ok
The next thing I want to share that sometimes comes up on these calls
Is the idea of therapy
Vs
Coaching
And here’s what I say there
I for sure think therapy has a place
In many peoples lives
I have been in the past myself
And I loved my lady Barbara
But
I have to tell you
I have changed my life so much more
From the work I’ve done with my coaches
And here is how I see the difference
And this can vary for many folks
But I think the easy way to explain is
As a life coach I work with high functioning
Mostly women
Who want to take there life to the next level
Like
Who have a goal to excel in their career
Work on a promotion
Be able to relax more
Maybe be able to relax more and do it without extra wine or food
Women who want to work on organizing their time more
Just being able to find time to do what they want
Therapy in my opinion
Is more not quite as high functioning
Like something really deep might be going on
That needs to be healed
Therapy tends to go back to the past
And dig up the issues
And have you muddle around in them again
And look at how the past has brought you here
Coaching is more like
Yes
The past happened
That is over
How am I thinking about it
How do I want to think about it
But more importantly
The time is spent on
What do I want to create for my future
How do I want to live now
On purpose
And with a purpose
Coaching is much more forward thinking
Coaching is let’s set some
As I think Jim collins says
Lets set some BHAGs
And get after them
You guys
I am not sure what happened this weekend
The start of spring ..lol..
My bday week…
But I am feeling on fire
And I am bringing it here
I heard something on a program recently
And it was something like
When I get to heaven
And whatever you believe you can substitute for yourself
You will get the point
But when I arrive
I want to show up
As the person I was destined to be
I don’t want to show up
And here
Oh – I had such a better plan for you
Think about that for you
Are your truly living the life you want
Are you really?
Or are you feeling stuck
And telling yourself
You don’t know what to do?
Because that is a lie
That is your brain keeping you safe
Because here is the crazy thing
As much as it feels terrible to feel stuck
Its’ comfortable
Because it’s what you know
And so your brain will keep you there
But if you listen to that inner voice
Lol..
And I don’t mean the crazy voices like the mean girl voices we here
If you listen to that soft voice
That is trying to tell you you do want something different
Trust in her
Listen to that wisdom
And you guys
I say that because I know it
3 years ago I just kept thinking
There has to be more to life
And you know what
There is
And you know what else ?
I think there is still even more
And I’ll show up here to keep telling you
All I learn
But the true difference
Will come in your life
When you start taking action
Got it?
Ok –
Now listen,
I just opened a couple more slots for 1:1 coaching
And if you are ready
Let’s hop on a call
If you are not sure about the coaching
But you do want to take the next step
Just get on my email list and start
Implementing some of the ideas
I share in the complimentary guide
michellebourquecoaching.com/guide
To get started
Ok
That’s what I have for you today friends
Let’s circle back next week
But for now
Stay safe
And make it a great day
Take care!