Ep 126 Coaching and the Lies Your Brain Tells You

Episode Notes:

Join me today as I talk about why it’s important to be willing to invest in yourself, and how your brain will tell you all the lies to keep you safe.  Listen as I discuss a recent consult call, how you might not even know how your thinking is similar, and what to do in order to make the changes you most want in your life.

In This Episode:

• Consult calls
• Coaching vs Therapy 
• Motivational triad of the brain
• The problem with being confused
• Living in the past vs creating your Futre 
• Goals/time management/relationships/career 
• Shelf help and passive action
• Act now

Work with me:  www.michellebourquecoaching.com/guide

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Episode Transcript:

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back to the podcast friends 

It’s so nice to have you here 

Ok 

This might be a little tough love this week

The thing is 

I am officially a year older 

And don’t they say the older you get 

The more you just say what you want?

lol..

Don’t worry –

I’m not quite to that Maxine character place yet 

lol..

But I have some things I need to share with you 

Because I recently had a consult call

And I think some of what came up

Might be in your brain 

Whether you know it or not

And so I’m going to bring some awareness to it

Because 

It’s for your best benefit

And that is why I do this podcast after all

I mean seriously 

I can hear myself talk to myself all day in the car

This I put out to help you 

And the reason I do private 1:1 coaching 

And developed the online course 

Is to find different ways to help you 

Basically 

Feel like you are in more control of your life

Your time 

Your career 

Your relationships 

And to help you feel 

Like you are not totally losing your mind 

Being so overwhelmed 

‘

With all of it

But the truth is 

Listening to me 

Is not going to do it on it’s own

Sure you can make some changes 

But listening to a podcast 

Or reading a book 

That is what we call passive learning 

Like you take it all in

And I think that is more than most people do

But as I recently heard one of my coaches say

It is shelf help 

Meaning 

It’s basically on the shelf when you just listen or read

You see the amazing changes 

When you actually start doing the work

And the beauty is 

When you actually implement the work 

You are investing in yourself 

Whether it be time 

Or money 

Or time and money 

And a lot of you 

Like so many folks

Aren’t used to investing in yourself 

You do do do for others

And you don’t always trust

That you can make the changes 

And this is what came up on the call

The client was asking me if I thought she could do it

I don’t think she can

Of course I know she can

As a coach I have so much belief in you

Listen 

If I could make all the changes I did and change my life

You can 

And you know how I was able to do it?

My coach believed in me 

Enough 

That I could borrow her belief 

Until I had it in myself 

So 

When someone asks me if I think they can do it 

That is not the best question

The question is

Do you think you can do it?

And if not 

Why?

I get on these calls 

And people tell me where they are currently in their life

And it feels terrible 

And then we talk about what is possible 

And you guys 

There is soooo much possible 

Things I don’t even yet see 

So when we talk about what is possible for you 

And even just take a minute to think that right now 

If I could wave a magic wand 

On what you think is currently a “problem”

How would your life change?

Give yourself some time to sit in that 

How would you feel?

What would be different?

I promise you 

It’s possible 

But you know what happens 

As soon as you start thinking the change is possible

Your brain will shut you down 

Remember 

The brain is designed to keep us safe 

To avoid pain

To seek pleasure 

And to be as efficient as possible 

So 

Its fascinating 

Sometimes what happens is we start to go there 

And then all the reasons you can’t do it comes up 

Your partner wouldn’t want you to spend the money 

You have debt to pay off 

Maybe you should consider therapy 

And guess where that puts you?

In this state of so called confusion 

That is why 

If we do a consult call for example 

We agree to make a powerful decision at the end of the call

That might mean yes 

I’m a hell yes I’m in 

Or it means 

No 

Because I’m choosing to not do it right now

Not because of any of these other reasons 

That I’m just not really ready 

And that’s ok

But feeling like a victim to the other circumstances

Or going back and forth 

Is so disempowering 

Owning your decision is the first step to 

Taking control of your life 

Your time 

Your schedule 

Because how you do one thing

Is how you do everything 

So notice how you might tell yourself you 

Let’s say 

Are victim to your colleagues 

And the way they treat you 

And just get curious 

Is it because you are not holding boundaries 

Maybe not even making boundaries 

Are you people pleasing 

It all comes up 

Its 

So 

Fascinating 

So make powerful decisions 

And make them for the sake of your future self 

Isn’t it interesting 

We have no problem investing in trips 

Cars 

Credit card debt for whatever reason 

But when it comes to investing in our brains 

We are like ….

Well – that can wait.

No my friends 

Your brain is your biggest asset 

You get that working for you and you will make more money

Trust me 

I am doing so much work on money mindset right now 

I can’t wait to share it with you 

Stay tuned 

Ok 

The next thing I want to share that sometimes comes up on these calls

Is the idea of therapy 

Vs 

Coaching 

And here’s what I say there

I for sure think therapy has a place 

In many peoples lives 

I have been in the past myself 

And I loved my lady Barbara 

But 

I have to tell you 

I have changed my life so much more 

From the work I’ve done with my coaches 

And here is how I see the difference 

And this can vary for many folks 

But I think the easy way to explain is 

As a life coach I work with high functioning 

Mostly women 

Who want to take there life to the next level 

Like 

Who have a goal to excel in their career 

Work on a promotion 

Be able to relax more 

Maybe be able to relax more and do it without extra wine or food 

Women who want to work on organizing their time more 

Just being able to find time to do what they want 

Therapy in my opinion 

Is more not quite as high functioning 

Like something really deep might be going on 

That needs to be healed 

Therapy tends to go back to the past 

And dig up the issues 

And have you muddle around in them again

And look at how the past has brought you here

Coaching is more like 

Yes 

The past happened 

That is over 

How am I thinking about it

How do I want to think about it 

But more importantly 

The time is spent on 

What do I want to create for my future 

How do I want to live now 

On purpose 

And with a purpose 

Coaching is much more forward thinking 

Coaching is let’s set some 

As I think Jim collins says 

Lets set some BHAGs

And get after them 

You guys 

I am not sure what happened this weekend 

The start of spring ..lol..

My bday week…

But I am feeling on fire

And I am bringing it here

I heard something on a program recently 

And it was something like 

When I get to heaven 

And whatever you believe you can substitute for yourself 

You will get the point 

But when I arrive 

I want to show up 

As the person I was destined to be 

I don’t want to show up 

And here 

Oh – I had such a better plan for you

Think about that for you

Are your truly living the life you want 

Are you really?

Or are you feeling stuck 

And telling yourself 

You don’t know what to do?

Because that is a lie

That is your brain keeping you safe

Because here is the crazy thing

As much as it feels terrible to feel stuck 

Its’ comfortable 

Because it’s what you know 

And so your brain will keep you there 

But if you listen to that inner voice 

Lol..

And I don’t mean the crazy voices like the mean girl voices we here

If you listen to that soft voice 

That is trying to tell you you do want something different 

Trust in her

Listen to that wisdom

And you guys 

I say that because I know it 

3 years ago I just kept thinking 

There has to be more to life 

And you know what 

There is 

And you know what else ?

I think there is still even more 

And I’ll show up here to keep telling you 

All I learn 

But the true difference 

Will come in your life 

When you start taking action 

Got it?

Ok –

Now listen,

I just opened a couple more slots for 1:1 coaching 

And if you are ready 

Let’s hop on a call

If you are not sure about the coaching 

But you do want to take the next step

Just get on my email list and start

Implementing some of the ideas 

I share in the complimentary guide 

michellebourquecoaching.com/guide 

To get started 

Ok 

That’s what I have for you today friends 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay safe 

And make it a great day

Take care!