Ep 116 Unconditional Love, Vulnerability, and Doing Hard Things

Episode Notes

Join me today as I discuss some important concepts we can learn from dogs.  Today I talked about how dogs can teach us a lot about unconditional love, vulnerability, and doing hard things.  Join me as we have fun talking about important concepts that will help you excel at work, but without the stress and overwhelm.    

In This Episode 

• Life being 50/50
• Feeling feelings
• Unconditional love
• The Manual
• Self love
• Vulnerability 
• Brene Brown
• Doing hard things
• Stepping into your next best self 

Free guide to get started:  www.michellebourquecoaching.com/guide

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Episode Transcript 

Hello hello hello 

Welcome back to the podcast friends 

How are you doing?

Reminder 

When I ask 

I really mean 

How are you doing 

Some might be amazing 

Some might not be 

Whatever that answer is 

Its Ok 

And we should talk about it 

If you haven’t heard me already say 

Life is 50/50

And if you have 

Just a friendly reminder 

Because somewhere along the line 

We were taught we should feel positive all of the time 

And listen 

I am all about 

Coaching myself to make sure 

I have feelings that are useful 

And give me the results I am looking for in life

But the other side of that is 

And again 

Listen 

It has taken me some WORK

And I am still doing it 

Because the other side 

Is to be willing to actually feel 

The feelings 

That we try to avoid 

Maybe it’s boredom

Maybe its sadness

Or grief 

Whatever it is for you

You have to be willing to feel that 

In order to process it 

And keep moving 

And I’m going to tell you 

I used to not want to feel anything 

But positive 

And since I’ve been willing to feel all of it

Which – by the way 

We are here 

Experiencing being human 

Which is messy 

So that means we sign up for all of the emotions 

Since I’ve been willing to do that 

My life has changed so much 

And – as a side note 

And little preview 

I’m going to be doing an interview soon

With my dear friend 

And fellow coach

Rhonda

I’ve talked about her here before 

Honestly 

She helped me so much 

Working through all of the emotions 

Of not being a mom 

And I want to share her with you

And the expertise she has 

Around feeling feelings 

Be sure to tune – she will be on soon 

Ok 

That will be upcoming 

But for today 

Ya all might know 

How much I just love our pup 

Marc found him from a kill shelter rescue

He had like one day left 

And I like to think 

He is so grateful to have us

But you likely know that statement right?

Who rescues who? lol…

Anyhow 

Full disclosure 

I am normally quite disciplined 

But somehow 

With him

Maybe not so much..lol..

He kinda has me trained 

I always tell him

Yes 

The dog

That Marc saved him

And I spoil him 

It’s all good … lol 

So today  I want to talk about how much dogs can teach us 

Stay with me 

Not to worry 

I’m not a total crazy dog lady

But I do think some parallels can be made

So let’s have fun

First 

Lets think about how dogs love unconditionally 

Did you ever hear that joke?

Put your wife – partner – and your dog in the trunk 

and see which one is happier to see you when you open it?

I’m not advocating for either 

But you get the idea right?

Let’s start with the idea of unconditional love. 

Seriously

Dog love unconditionally 

Unconditional love:  defined as 

affection without any limitations, or love without conditions.

Without conditions … 

For others …. or for yourself. 

Most of us have lots of conditions for loved ones 

• and even more for ourselves. 

I’ve done a number of podcasts discussing the manuals we have for others 

We also have a manual for ourself 

Thinking at some point we will be “enough”? 

But when is that?

What needs to happen before you love yourself unconditionally? 

I’ll give you a hint – it’s a decision you make. 

Sounds easy … and yet can be some of the most challenging work.

It’s cliche – but it’s true – self love is not selfish. 

When you love yourself unconditionally you increase your capacity to transfer it to others.

Everyone benefits. 

Love always wins.

Ok

Next lesson

Vulnerability

Our dog

Is totally fine 

With being all out 

Spread eagle on his couch

No concerns at all 

Belly in the air 

To get extra love 

You know what I mean right?

And 

I’m not sure about you

But when I think 

Vulnerability 

I think 

Say it with me

Brene Brown 

Brown’s 2010 TEDx Houston talk

The Power of Vulnerability 

I think 

Its one of the top ten most viewed 

She also has numerous books on the subject 

Vulnerability 

Is basically 

Uncertainty 

Emotional exposure 

Or risk 

Its about showing up 

And being seen 

But the problem is

We are so concerned with what others think of us

That we are not so willing to be vulnerable

The voice in our head 

You not good enough

Plays over and over 

And that makes it kinda tough

To show up 

In an authentic way

So instead

We hustle for our worthiness

And I’ll tell you 

A career in sales 

Is about as enabling to this concept 

As I am to my dog..lol..

We are always hustling 

But sometimes that doesn’t not 

Really make the most strategic sense 

So what if you believed you were already 

100% worthy

And you then worked from there?

Such a different space.

BTW

You are 100% worthy 

Right now 

In this moment

We all are 

There is nothing more you can do to get to that 

So now you just get to work 

To see what you can do

To blow your own mind 

How much more fun is that?

Ok 

I could talk about our dog for hours 

And 

There are a lot of lessons to learn from the pups

I might actually write a book about it all 

It could totally be a best seller 

I’ll keep you in the posted lol..

But since I usually keep this podcast short

I’m going to end this one 

Around the idea 

the dog days of summer 

This statement refers to 

The hottest time of the year right 

When I clickety clacked 

On the googles 

It said it was from the Greeks and Romans 

And could bring fever or catastrophe 

Seems serious 

Let’s just say 

It’s time that can be hard 

Here’s what I want to say about that 

We 

You 

Can do hard things

In addition to thinking 

Somewhere along the line 

That we are supposed to feel happy 

I think we also think 

Things are supposed to be easy most of the time 

And remember 

Our brain likes easy 

Or efficient 

So when 

We start going after new goals

Stepping into a bigger version or ourselves 

We think something has gone wrong 

When it doesn’t feel 

Easy 

NOoooo

The discomfort friends 

Is the gold

The discomfort 

Is the currency we pay 

To get to the next level 

It’s not supposed to be easy all the time 

The challenge is what brings about the change 

I think my girl Robin one time said 

Something like 

Discomfort and pride are cousins

And we are all family here 

Meaning 

When you are willing to go through the discomfort 

You will get to the pride 

You can make it through the dog days 

And you know what 

Then you get your treat ..lol..

I know I know 

It’s enough for one day 

I have so much more for you 

But seriously 

These concepts are magic 

And if you want to join me in doing more of this work 

I want to invite you 

To go to michellebourquecoachign.com/guide

Where you can start with 

A free guide 

On 3 simple strategies 

To enjoy life 

Outside of work 

once you sign up 

You will receive more free content each week 

Ok friends

That’s what I have for you today 

Let’s circle back next week

But for now 

Stay healthy 

And make it a great day 

Take care!