Decisions, decisions, decisions
Hello hello hello my friends! How are you today?
Can I tell you – I am actually feeling pretty amazing.
And I have to say – honestly – it is because of coaching.. I want to share a little something with you here on the power of coaching.
You see – you may know I typically record this podcast for you on Sunday morning.
Well today is actually Mother’s Day.
And full transparency – I used to hate Mothers Day. I know- that may sound terrible to some – but here’s the thing – we don’t have kids.
Now of course I wished all my friends and my moms a Happy Mother’s Day and meant it – but the issue was – in the past I would make Mothers Day mean so much about all I must’ve done wrong – or how I failed – or not lived up to society’s standards – and society is in air quotes b/c I’m not even sure who that all really entails.
But this year I’ve done received some hard coaching on this topic and I can not tell you how at peace I feel with today.
I feel like such a different person. And you know – it is interesting because years ago I worked with a therapist for a bit around this – and it just wasn’t the same. Don’t get me wrong – therapy is great for a number of people – but truly my life has changed so much since coaching.
Even just last year Mother’s Day to this year – soooo different – and you guys – this is the kind of stuff I LOVE to see happen with the clients I work one on one with.
As you know – or in case you don’t – I do individual coaching with professional women who are looking to take their life to the next level. I especially love working on cutting back the stress and overwhelm that often comes from crazy schedules – you know what I mean – like when you don’t feel like you have any time to yourself?
Remember those old commericals – Calgon – take me away..lol.. well you don’t have to go away – – you can just start doing this work..lol..
Ok – so yes – let’s get doing some of this work.
This week I want to talk to you about something that came up on a few of my calls this week with clients
This idea that life explodes on us.
You know what I mean?
Like we set out with these great intentions and then – well – life happens – and we often think it just happens to us right?
Believe me – I know – I felt like this for yearrsss – especially around work.
Because – here’s what I think happens.
We want to do well right ladies?
Most of the women I work with are over achieving, perfectionist, people pleasing ladies – which I love – perhaps because I ‘get’..lol..
So, you want to do well in your career – and often times we think that means we can’t say no.
We have to keep doing in order to move up.
And the more we do must mean the better we are right?
Well, not always. It’s so fascinating to watch when my clients start putting some boundaries up – and actually excel more – such fun.
It’s just that our brains – well for most of us – have this idea that you HAVE to work hard.
But what if that isn’t always the case?
Now – I’m not saying kick back and eat bon bons all day – but what if this idea of harder, more, do, do, do – wasn’t really serving you to the highest level?
And here is how you can determine that – at the end of the day do you feel like you are out of control of your time – like you have no time for yourself – you had a bunch of things you wanted to do but feel like none of them actually got done?
If you are nodding your head – well this might be a good indication that some changes may be beneficial.
Ok – so let’s think about this – do you consider yourself a creator or a reactor? One of my teaches Steve Chandler discusses this concept.
A creator will base their decisions on creating a compelling amazing future. So there decisions for today are literally creating their future.
Creators make bold moves.
Reactors on the other hand – well they are the ones telling you about the immediate unfortunate past. You know what I mean – the person always talking about how unjust things are, and never really doing anything to create an exciting future because they are always just living in this regurgitated story of the past and thinking about how unfair life is.
The people I work with are creators – they want to make life as prosperous as possible.
But when we begin the work we often feel like we just don’t know how – or where to start.
I want to point out what I think is a super important, foundational tool to begin with that creators do so well.
I think this is where some of the feelings of over whelm come in.
When we don’t make decisions.
And you guys – here’s the funny thing – even when we don’t make a decision – well that is a decisions – we are actually deciding to sit in in action and confusion.
And why don’t we want to decide most time?
Because we think we will get the answer wrong – right? Lol..
We are afraid we will fail – actually – I think what we are afraid of more is what others will perceive as us failing.
But – what if there was no such thing as failing?
I think there is a really cool quote along the lines of – what would you do today if you knew you would not fail?
I’m not sure where it came from… and hopefully that is the correct one..lol.. but even if it isn’t exact – you know what I’m saying.
So what if – you didn’t even consider it failing?
What if you just considered it learning?
My coach says we are either winning or learning.. I love that.
Imagine if there was not right or wrong answer for you.
And going back to the idea that the days explodes and you have no idea where time goes.
I see this happen when people aren’t deciding in advance what they want there day to look like.
And I mean REALLY deciding.
Not just a “I hope to get this stuff done today”.
Making decisions quickly – and in advance -will save you so much time – will show you how in control of your time – you life – you really are.
Now- I’m not talking about something like make a quick decision on life saving surgery .. although – even as I say that – lol – if it is life saving it may have to be quick….
What I’m talking about is start with some of these everyday things we waste time contemplating what we should decide.
Listen – I’ve been here -back in the day – I would be hanging out in the frekin ice cream isle forever – and I think I usually just ended up with vanilla! Lol..
So here’s what happens when you decide in advance.
Let’s think about something like how much wine you are drinking tomorrow – or what you are eating.
Decide 24 hours in advance.
When it gets to the time – you drink what you decided, you eat what you decided.
Now you don’t have to go back and forth with – I don’t know what I feel like- maybe I should have it – maybe I shouldn’t – how will I feel and on and on…
You already made a decision – honor it.
This will do a few things for you – obviously save time, but also build the relationship you have with yourself because you have made a commitment and once you honor it you start to show your brain that you matter.
Doing this work over and over for something as simple as food planning will give you the compound effect and as you do it more and more you will begin to see where in your career you will choose honoring commitments to yourself – vs racing around to put out fires when you boss barks.
It’s so good!
And when I suggest making a quick decision your if your brain goes to – how will I be certain if it’s the right decision – I will offer you this – the way you know is to decide, take action, and learn from it.
You can be certain you will learn as you go… how about that?
Again – this gets away from the idea of failing and instead you learn.
I mean really now – isn’t certainty an illusion anyhow? We don’t really know what the future holds.
Maybe you learn that wasn’t what you want to do.
But at least when you are making decsions you are taking action and action will get you closer to your goal than just sitting around contemplating if it was correct.
So – this week I encourage you start paying attention and notice when you catch yourself hemming and hawing about a decision that needs to be made.
Just decide and move on.
And – try a little experiment – take one or two days to start and plan your food – or your wine in advance. Write down exactly what you are going to eat or drink – 24 hours in advance. And then compare it to how you normally roll and see if you gain some time in your life.
That’s my goal for you ladies – to help you find time for you. It’s there – I promise.
And if any of this resonates with you and you want to dive deeper into for your life specifically let’s get on a call – you can decide today to make the first step – such fun! Just go to michellebourquecoaching.com – I’ll put it in the show notes – click on get started and let’s do this.
Thank you for listening my friends. That is what I have for you today. Let’s circle back next week – but for now – make it a great day- take care!