Chaos In Your Life
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IN THIS EPISODE:
* Feeling anxious
* Resisiting, avoiding, allowing, anxiety
* News and your brain
* What to focus on
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www.michellebourquecoaching.com/workwithme
Episode 75 – 4.2.20
It’s been an interesting few weeks.As I record this we are dealing with the coronovirus pandemic.It has caused some chaos – and I want you to know – I am here for you.
Now, more than ever, we need to ensure we keep our brains cleaned up, and do the work to watch all of the thoughts
Here is the thing my friends – a lot of you are suffering from this virus – and I don’t mean physically – I mean in your head.Thinking all the thoughts of worse case scenario – and listen this is to be expected our brains are designed to be on the look out for danger.But that doesn’t mean we have to suffer.Listen to learn more about what I mean.
TRANSCRIPT:
Hello hello hello –
How are you all doing today?
I mean really doing.
Its been an interesting few weeks.
As I record this we are right in the middle –
Well – I guess I don’t really know if its the middle
But we are in it
The coronovirus pandemic
And it has caused some chaos
I want you to know
I am here for you
More than ever we need to ensure we keep our brains cleaned up
And do the work to watch all of the thoughts
Because here is the thing my friends
A lot of you are suffering from this virus
And I don’t mean physically
I mean in your head
Thinking all the thoughts of worse case scenario
And listen
This is to be expected
Remember –
Our brains are designed to be on the look out for danger
It’s how we survive
We lived in caves and we had to be on the watch
For Saber Tooth tigers
That isn’t exactly the case these days
But our brain hasn’t evolved to the point
Of air conditioners and internet
And sitting on our couch
So we are human
And we have human brains
Let’s give ourselves some grace for that alone …lol
So today I want to kinda just chat with you
About a few tools and concepts that might be helpful
Because although I am recording this a couple weeks before it airs
I think it will still be helpful
And honestly
You can use the tools and concepts for most things in life
They are not just for a pandemic
They are what I use with my clients everyday
So let’s dive into what a lot of folks are feeling
Anxiety
Now I want to remind you
If we are discussing the Thought Model
Which is a tool I use every minute of every day just about
We know
Our feelings come from our thoughts
Now – a lot of you may think the corona virus is causing you anxiety
I want to offer you that is not true
The corona virus
Goes in the circumstance line of the thought Model
It is neutral
I know
You might be like
Hell no its not
Have you watched the news?
We are all going to die
But here is how I know
Every person
Has a different thought
About the virus
When we feel anxiety
It’s because we are thinking
This is terrible
We are all going to die
The global economy is going to be ruined
Nobody will have any money to buy anything
Which – super side note
Let me tell you – as of today
People have lots of money to buy all the damn toilet paper
And you now what else
It’s not breaking news that we are all going to die
We are – in case you didn’t already know that
But we don’t normally focus on it right?
So here’s what I want to encourage you to do
Do a thought download
Simply take out a piece of paper and a pen
And again – you guys – this can be used any time you are feeling anxious
Write down all the thoughts you have about the circumstance
Look at them on paper
A lot of time just getting them out of your head and onto the paper
Allows you to see them and you have a chance to really question them
When they are in our head we just spin on them
Over and over
And once you get them out on paper
Sometimes you can even let them go
When you notice it’s the thinking that’s causing you the pain
You can start to step away from it a bit
Now – speaking of stepping
For me
A big thing that helps with my anxiety
Is also movement
So You know I love doing Peloton workouts
Which – by the way. – they have a special offer
For free extended trial on the app
You should totally check it out –
It has more than just bike
You could even doing meditation
So for me movement –
getting the endorphins going
So good – movement is my medicine
— and breathing helps..lol
Breathing always helps right
But have you noticed – when you are anxious
You are likely all tightened up
I am usually clenching my jar
Start paying attention – you might be surprised at how tight you are
Sometimes holding your breath maybe
When you workout – you have to breath
When you meditate – its so much about breath
Now – another way we think helps the anxiety
Is to have a little extra vino – or food perhaps
And I want to tell you
You may think that helps in the moment
But the anxiety comes right back
In fact
Sometimes even more so
Because now you are beating yourself up for
Having too much
So when I’m coaching clients
We talk about resisting the anxiety – which I recently talked about
In the Pursuit of Happiness is a lie podcast
Where you just think you shouldn’t feel it
But that brings the level up even more
Or we avoid the anxiety
Maybe by Over drinking – or over eating
But then we don’t feel well and beat ourselves up
Here’s the rule I like to use for having wine –
or even if we are doing some off plan eating
Is there a net negative
Like am I doing this to escape and then feeling terrible the next day
Or have I planned exactly what I wanted in advance
I have it – I feel fine next day – no net negative
Or
The other option is
we allow it
Breath through it
Tell you brain you are safe in this moment
You will survive it
Tell your brain in this moment you have everything you need
Which leads me to the next point
Gratitude
What we focus on we magnify
You guys –
It is the media’s job to have you watch and to get ratings
So when you brain is looking for danger
The media is there to provide it
When you focus on the news
You get more evidence of how “terrible” everything is
And you
Most often times
Increase the anxiety
When you can look around
And focus on what you have
All around you
In this moment
And feel gratitude
There isn’t as much room for the anxiety
I really want to encourage you to limit
What you are watching on the news
Yes we need to be informed for safety
And yes we want to take precautions
But we don’t need to watch the 24/7 feed
And we don’t need to prepare from fear
Let’s tryto balance how much of the negative your brain is getting fed
With the same amount of positive
And – you can also prepare from calm
Here is what I know for sure
We are resilient people
We will recover
And you know what else
When we overcome obstacles we become stronger
I am choosing to think we will learn from this
We will become stronger
We may even have some amazing changes to life
In a positive way
That would not have been considered without this
A lot of times when we are feeling anxious
It’s because we are future tripping
What I mean is
We are envisioning all the terrible things that will happen
The truth is
We don’t know
So why not work on future tripping a place that seems
A bit more helpful
I’m not saying rainbows and Daisys
Im saying a place that will be useful
To us achieving some of the goals we want in life
Maybe thinking of new solutions
New possibilities
New Opportunities
Now you may be saying
Well that’s not realistic
Let me tell you something
It’s no more realistic to think all the terrible things
Than it is to think how things may improve from here
We have both options folks
And even if there was a sliver of truth to the negative
How is it serving you in this moment to be thinking it?
See – worry pretends to be necessary
It’s not
Worry steals your peace today
You need to protect your peace my friend
And the way you do that is by managing your mind
And thinking on purpose
With a purpose
More now than ever
We need to work on our mental health
We need to know it’s our thinking that is so important to our emotional well being
Which by the way
Is really great news
Because that is the one thing
We really are in control of
We need to know it’s ok to feel all the feels
We will get past this
And I do believe we will be stronger for it
Now, I developeda new free guide for you
To be able to work through some of these ideas
Got to www.michellebourquecoaching.com/episode75 to download
And as always – especially in these times
Let’s connect
On Instagram or Facebook michellebourquecoaching
Linked in Michelle Bourque
And of course – if you are ready to dive deeper into this I want to help
michellebourquecoaching.com and click on work with me page