Chaos In Your Life

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* Feeling anxious

* Resisiting, avoiding, allowing, anxiety

* News and your brain

* What to focus on

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Episode 75 – 4.2.20

It’s been an interesting few weeks.As I record this we are dealing with the coronovirus pandemic.It has caused some chaos – and I want you to know – I am here for you.

Now, more than ever, we need to ensure we keep our brains cleaned up, and do the work to watch all of the thoughts

Here is the thing my friends – a lot of you are suffering from this virus – and I don’t mean physically – I mean in your head.Thinking all the thoughts of worse case scenario – and listen this is to be expected our brains are designed to be on the look out for danger.But that doesn’t mean we have to suffer.Listen to learn more about what I mean.


Hello hello hello –

How are you all doing today?

I mean really doing.

Its been an interesting few weeks.

As I record this we are right in the middle –

Well – I guess I don’t really know if its the middle

But we are in it

The coronovirus pandemic

And it has caused some chaos

I want you to know

I am here for you

More than ever we need to ensure we keep our brains cleaned up

And do the work to watch all of the thoughts

Because here is the thing my friends

A lot of you are suffering from this virus

And I don’t mean physically

I mean in your head

Thinking all the thoughts of worse case scenario

And listen

This is to be expected

Remember –

Our brains are designed to be on the look out for danger

It’s how we survive

We lived in caves and we had to be on the watch

For Saber Tooth tigers

That isn’t exactly the case these days

But our brain hasn’t evolved to the point

Of air conditioners and internet

And sitting on our couch

So we are human

And we have human brains

Let’s give ourselves some grace for that alone …lol

So today I want to kinda just chat with you

About a few tools and concepts that might be helpful

Because although I am recording this a couple weeks before it airs

I think it will still be helpful

And honestly

You can use the tools and concepts for most things in life

They are not just for a pandemic

They are what I use with my clients everyday

So let’s dive into what a lot of folks are feeling


Now I want to remind you

If we are discussing the Thought Model

Which is a tool I use every minute of every day just about

We know

Our feelings come from our thoughts

Now – a lot of you may think the corona virus is causing you anxiety

I want to offer you that is not true

The corona virus

Goes in the circumstance line of the thought Model

It is neutral

I know

You might be like

Hell no its not

Have you watched the news?

We are all going to die

But here is how I know

Every person

Has a different thought

About the virus

When we feel anxiety

It’s because we are thinking

This is terrible

We are all going to die

The global economy is going to be ruined

Nobody will have any money to buy anything

Which – super side note

Let me tell you – as of today

People have lots of money to buy all the damn toilet paper

And you now what else

It’s not breaking news that we are all going to die

We are – in case you didn’t already know that

But we don’t normally focus on it right?

So here’s what I want to encourage you to do

Do a thought download

Simply take out a piece of paper and a pen

And again – you guys – this can be used any time you are feeling anxious

Write down all the thoughts you have about the circumstance

Look at them on paper

A lot of time just getting them out of your head and onto the paper

Allows you to see them and you have a chance to really question them

When they are in our head we just spin on them

Over and over

And once you get them out on paper

Sometimes you can even let them go

When you notice it’s the thinking that’s causing you the pain

You can start to step away from it a bit

Now – speaking of stepping

For me

A big thing that helps with my anxiety

Is also movement

So You know I love doing Peloton workouts

Which – by the way. – they have a special offer

For free extended trial on the app

You should totally check it out –

It has more than just bike

You could even doing meditation

So for me movement –

getting the endorphins going

So good – movement is my medicine

— and breathing

Breathing always helps right

But have you noticed – when you are anxious

You are likely all tightened up

I am usually clenching my jar

Start paying attention – you might be surprised at how tight you are

Sometimes holding your breath maybe

When you workout – you have to breath

When you meditate – its so much about breath

Now – another way we think helps the anxiety

Is to have a little extra vino – or food perhaps

And I want to tell you

You may think that helps in the moment

But the anxiety comes right back

In fact

Sometimes even more so

Because now you are beating yourself up for

Having too much

So when I’m coaching clients

We talk about resisting the anxiety – which I recently talked about

In the Pursuit of Happiness is a lie podcast

Where you just think you shouldn’t feel it

But that brings the level up even more

Or we avoid the anxiety

Maybe by Over drinking – or over eating

But then we don’t feel well and beat ourselves up

Here’s the rule I like to use for having wine –

or even if we are doing some off plan eating

Is there a net negative

Like am I doing this to escape and then feeling terrible the next day

Or have I planned exactly what I wanted in advance

I have it – I feel fine next day – no net negative


The other option is

we allow it

Breath through it

Tell you brain you are safe in this moment

You will survive it

Tell your brain in this moment you have everything you need

Which leads me to the next point


What we focus on we magnify

You guys –

It is the media’s job to have you watch and to get ratings

So when you brain is looking for danger

The media is there to provide it

When you focus on the news

You get more evidence of how “terrible” everything is

And you

Most often times

Increase the anxiety

When you can look around

And focus on what you have

All around you

In this moment

And feel gratitude

There isn’t as much room for the anxiety

I really want to encourage you to limit

What you are watching on the news

Yes we need to be informed for safety

And yes we want to take precautions

But we don’t need to watch the 24/7 feed

And we don’t need to prepare from fear

Let’s tryto balance how much of the negative your brain is getting fed

With the same amount of positive

And – you can also prepare from calm

Here is what I know for sure

We are resilient people

We will recover

And you know what else

When we overcome obstacles we become stronger

I am choosing to think we will learn from this

We will become stronger

We may even have some amazing changes to life

In a positive way

That would not have been considered without this

A lot of times when we are feeling anxious

It’s because we are future tripping

What I mean is

We are envisioning all the terrible things that will happen

The truth is

We don’t know

So why not work on future tripping a place that seems

A bit more helpful

I’m not saying rainbows and Daisys

Im saying a place that will be useful

To us achieving some of the goals we want in life

Maybe thinking of new solutions

New possibilities

New Opportunities

Now you may be saying

Well that’s not realistic

Let me tell you something

It’s no more realistic to think all the terrible things

Than it is to think how things may improve from here

We have both options folks

And even if there was a sliver of truth to the negative

How is it serving you in this moment to be thinking it?

See – worry pretends to be necessary

It’s not

Worry steals your peace today

You need to protect your peace my friend

And the way you do that is by managing your mind

And thinking on purpose

With a purpose

More now than ever

We need to work on our mental health

We need to know it’s our thinking that is so important to our emotional well being

Which by the way

Is really great news

Because that is the one thing

We really are in control of

We need to know it’s ok to feel all the feels

We will get past this

And I do believe we will be stronger for it

Now, I developeda new free guide for you

To be able to work through some of these ideas

Got to to download

And as always – especially in these times

Let’s connect

On Instagram or Facebook michellebourquecoaching

Linked in Michelle Bourque

And of course – if you are ready to dive deeper into this I want to help and click on work with me page



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