222 Burnout and Self Care

Episode Notes:

Join me today as I discuss burnout and self care for high achieving women in sales.  Listen in as I talk about a recent work meeting, some questions you can ask yourself along the way and how to find new ways to take care of yourself in the process of advancing your career.

In This Episode:

• The story of the boiling frog
• The benefit of setting boundaries 
• Self care imagined your way
• A major aha from a recent work meeting 
• Stopping people pleasing before you leave
• Choosing the discomfort that allows you a net positive effect in your life 
• www.michellebourquecoaching.com/overwhelm

 

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Episode Transcript: (Transcribed by OtterAi with minimal edits)

Michelle Bourque  0:01  

You are listening to the It’s Your Time podcast and I’m your host certified life coach Michelle Arnold Bourque. In today’s episode, I’m discussing burnout and self care. Welcome to the It’s Your Time Podcast, the podcast, where busy professionals, like you get the practical solutions and support you need to gain control of your schedule. So you can strive to be the best in your career, but without the stress and overwhelm. If you’re looking to increase your energy and decrease your stress, you are in the right place.

Michelle Bourque  0:35  

Hello, hello, welcome back to the podcast friends. I’m back from Vegas safe and sound. I mentioned last week that we had some meetings going on out there and it was super productive. And it’s great to be home. I’ll share with you a little tip that the taxi driver told me best time to leave Vegas Saturday night read it, which is what I did. And he was right, the airport was empty. I just breezed right through, slept on the plane had Sunday to hang with Marc and Tucker and just kind of chill. I think it is so important that you take care of yourself whenever you are traveling, especially when it’s work travel. And this is what I want to talk to you about today. It’s an important topic because especially in this industry, there is a lot of honor around the idea of being busy. That must mean that you are quote unquote, doing it right. And I just don’t subscribe to that. Well, let’s be honest anymore. I used to buy into it hook line and sinker, thinking that being busy would make me a better worker. But what I have come to realize, and what I want to share with you is that there are many more things that can make you a quote unquote, right better worker. Things like prioritizing, being strategic, planning your time, taking care of yourself so that you have more to give to others in a way that you want. And those are just a few things to get started. Instead, what I see happen, especially with women in this industry, it’s actually something along the lines of the story of the boiled frog. Have you heard it? Now, disclaimer, I am not suggesting anyone try this. I’m simply using it as a story to be an example. Apparently, if you put a frog in really hot water, it will immediately jump out. But if you put the frog in nice lukewarm temperature pan and slowly turn up the heat. The frog doesn’t notice the changes and the temperature. And it can boil itself to death. I can only imagine if my sister is listening, she is going to be like what the hell story are you telling now? Anyhow, it’s a very good story because it is an example that is similar to what we do to ourselves. We take on the next thing, and then the next thing and then the next thing and before you know it, you’re feeling burned out from the job from life maybe and you think that you need to quit and find another gig. But what if that wasn’t the case? What if perhaps there are a couple of steps before leaving that could help you for example, learning to say no setting boundaries, limiting the people pleasing, developing self care routines. I get it saying no and setting boundaries and reducing the people pleasing. It is not easy. It can be super uncomfortable. But so is allowing yourself to get to the point of being burnt out. And you get to pick the discomfort that suits you best right? Watch, which one will give you a net positive effect. And I’ve been on both sides. I was ready to leave this job. I would say five, six years ago, and thankfully I became involved in coaching. I invested in myself to get coaches and everything changed. Listen, if you want to get started feeling less stressed, go to MichelleBourquecoaching.com/overwhelm, and you can begin with the guide that I share there to help you. Let me just share a couple of examples of what I found on this recent trip. First off, ladies, the heels. It’s crazy. This is such a simple example of what we do to ourselves. There was so much walking, it was a huge convention. And on day one, I was all about the heels. Day two. I brought my bag that had my heels and my flats and I interchange By day three, I was like, Screw those heels. I’m in flats all day long. But there were so many women, I could see with like five, six band aids coming off their feet, right? This is just a little example of what we do to ourselves slowly over time not paying attention to what is best for us. And these meetings were scheduled from 7am till 10pm, with minimal break, and I will tell you the truth, this was the world’s largest meeting for my therapy. And in 16 years, I have never been, I heard stories about other companies, and things that they were doing with the doctors after hours. And you know, I have some mines, for example, I will not take my doctors to strip clubs. Not into that, I will not be doing shots with them. Of course, I’ll have some drinks, but not shots. And back then I just thought I would feel the pressure to have to keep up with the other companies. And my company is not like that they are super strict on the rules. So I would always half joking half serious, say that I never went because I didn’t want to get fired. But now, I don’t have the same thoughts. I know that you can be successful and not have to do it like the others. So yes, I did the planned activities. But I did not do the after hours fun with the cool cats. Some may say although I did tell Marc how the folks were going out to the clubs that one two in the morning. And I would like the record to show that I too was up at 2am Doing my yoga and my breath work to which he replied, Please tell me you did not say that because you sound like a complete nerd.

Michelle Bourque  6:41  

Oh, no, I’m just mentioning here to a few of you. Anyhow, back to the boiling frog. These are the things that we do to ourselves the pressure each day of thinking that you need to do it differently or like the competition? What if we just question that? What if it’s totally possible to care for your doctors? Do you want to help them help more patients? Do you want to find new ways to gain access for patients? Imagine how to help your accounts in unique ways. Think of their brain energy that you can use thinking along those lines versus thinking about how you should be doing it like everyone else. You are not like the others do you. And I will share another thing that came up that I really want to encourage you to think about speaking of doing you, knowing you all versions of you. I really do try to keep my workout routine in place when I’m traveling. And I mentioned I was doing some breathwork it’s something side note that I am totally into these days, it is amazing. And I was doing it. And as I was doing it, I had this memory come up from when I was a little girl. I just started crying. And here’s why. When we were kids, my brother and I would visit my biological mom on weekends. And her and my Nana, and the two of us would go to the dump to see what we could find. She didn’t have a lot of money. And this, she said would be fun. And I thought about that little girl who could have never imagined that she would be at the world’s largest meeting for her career networking, with the CMO, the president of her division, the president of sales, and so many other folks and high leadership positions. Heck, she didn’t even know what the word neuromodulation meant, and to think we were the same person. Take some time and think back to you, as a little girl. Could you ever imagine your life where it is now. And I think it’s so important to thank all of the versions of you that have gotten you here. Appreciate all of the work all of the hard times, everything you’ve been through, that has made it possible for you to be here today. And think about who you have yet to become. When I think about how that little girl and so many other versions of me along the way had no idea. It blows my mind to think this version of me today has yet to realize what is to come. What is possible. Think about that for you. Appreciate where you are today and get curious about what is possible for you to come. What if this really is just the beginning. That’s so much fun to think about. And to bring it back to the boiling frog. Do your future self a favor when you think about her? What does she need you to start doing now? What does she need you to stop doing now? How do you start setting boundaries and say NOTICE something’s so that you open up more Yes, opportunities for what she wants. How do you stop people pleasing, in order to give yourself more time to do what you want, it is not selfish. When you take care of yourself, you have so much more to give to others when you do this work. And you can simply think about all of that you could think about it as you drive. But I also love to just journal on it. There’s something to putting pen to paper and just writing. Listen, this is not going to be a graded activity, just write whatever comes to your mind. And you might be surprised at what you find out, trust what you learn from it, and then start prioritizing your life on purpose. Listen, if a frog can be boiled to death, and slow, incremental changes, the opposite is also true. Your life can explode with goodness, when you make small, incremental changes. Darren Hardy talks about this. In his book, The compound effect, the 1% change makes all the difference. So I’m not saying that you have to immediately go tell everyone to eff off and say no to everything around you. Just start with small changes. And then you make the next small change. And then the next small change, and you just keep going. That’s how you get lasting change. Listen, I have four spots open in January for one on one coaching. And if you feel like you have been stressed and overwhelmed and you cannot seem to make the changes that you most desire. Let’s talk you can kill two birds with one stone just by going to Michelle Bourque coaching.com, forward slash overwhelm. Get the guide like I mentioned earlier, and then just reply to any email that you receive from me and see that you’re ready for the next step for the record, because I just noticed that I said killing two birds with one stone. I love animals. I don’t want the frogs or the birds to be harmed. Okay, I’m just saying let’s make sure we’re all on the same page here. Okay, friends, that’s what I have for you today. Use what works leave what doesn’t and tune in next week for another opportunity to transform your life. Make it a great day. Take care

Michelle Bourque  12:24  

Did you know you can take this work to a deeper level with me one on one. Go to Michellebourquecoaching.com and click on get started to begin